Alyssa's Choice

by Alicia White

  Laughter erupted around the table. “You shouldn’t be checking out his ass, baby. I’ll have to punish you for that when we get home,” Clint said. The way he said “punishment” was so nonchalant that Alyssa almost didn’t catch it. It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise, a sexy promise.

  She sat up straighter, looking from Clint to Bella, wanting to ask the question stuck on the tip of her tongue. Oh. My. God. Did they spank Bella? Did she enjoy it? Were “punishments” really a bad thing? She nibbled on her lip, wondering what she had missed.

  “It looks like Alyssa has some questions. Go ahead, don’t be shy.” Cody chimed in, watching her fidget uncomfortably.

  “Fine. Um…uh…” She paused and cleared her throat. “How do I ask this?” she whispered mostly to herself. She needed to know. Maybe she wasn’t some kind of freak for liking what Grant did. “Okay, do you mean that you spank Bella?” She looked at the Colton brothers, waiting for an answer. She could tell that Bella wasn’t the least bit concerned with what they said. Jessica, on the other hand, leaned in, watching them carefully, waiting for an answer as well.

  “Yes. Any other questions?” Cody answered in such a direct way. She waited for more, but they obviously wanted her to ask the questions.

  “Wait...What? That’s it. You spank Bella, nothing more to add?” From the smug looks on their faces, she realized that she needed to ask the questions. “Fine. Why do you spank her? Do you make her cry? You can’t do that. She’s an adult for goodness’s sakes.”

  Bella giggled, gave Clay a hug, and then turned in his lap to face her, giving her an evil little smile. She looked happy. This conversation didn’t bother her, and Alyssa sat back in her chair, feeling a bit shocked. The way the Colton brothers were talking about spanking her didn’t seem to faze her. It wasn’t a dirty secret. This became more intriguing by the minute, making her rethink Grant.

  “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.” Bella shook her head, looking shy all of the sudden. “Sometimes, spankings can be a punishment, but mostly it’s erotic pleasure. I love the idea of being at their mercy. I love the way they make me feel. I’ve cried, but it felt like more of a release than anything else, no real pain.”

  “Wow, this is another side of you. I never knew. Hmmm, aren’t you ever scared of what they might do? I mean, not that they would hurt you on purpose, but what if they caused you real pain?” she questioned, not wanting to offend her but needing to know. She couldn’t understand why Bella would let them spank her or punish her.

  “They would never do that. I trust them completely. Our sex life is the most amazing thing I’ve ever had. Clint, Clay, and Cody all take care of me. I’ve always wanted to be with a man that was dominant in the bedroom, and now I have three. I’m a very lucky girl.” Bella leaned back and wiggled on Clay’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. “I don’t really think this has anything to do with me. Am I right? Tell me what’s going on. Alyssa, I see you around Grant and Justin,” Bella pleaded. Her eyes were full of curiosity, but Alyssa could sense pity, and that wasn’t something she wanted or needed.

  “It was something Grant said, and then hearing Clint say he was going to punish you perked my interest. That’s it. Thanks for answering my questions.” Alyssa leaned back in her chair, ready for the conversation to end, but it didn’t look like Bella was ready to let it go.

  She moved closer, leaning against the table, never breaking eye contact. “Whatever turns you on, whatever excites you and feels good, do it. After meeting Clint, Clay, and Cody, I’ve realized that I want to live my life to the fullest. You should, too. If you want Grant and Justin, go for it. If they’re a little kinky and you enjoy it, who cares. Don’t limit yourself.” Bella sent a secret smile her way and leaned back against Clay.

  Alyssa acted as if she wasn’t affected, like their conversation didn’t matter. She didn’t want anyone to know that what Bella had said meant a lot to her, had shaken her up. She thought back to Grant’s office, to how she felt about the spanking. His hand on her bottom had felt good, and the pleasure he gave her was more exciting than anything else had ever been. She was embarrassed of her reaction because it had scared her. Listening to Bella, seeing her with her men, made her start to see things differently.

  Grant and Justin walked to the table. She watched them, wishing she hadn’t run away. She wanted to be the strong woman she knew she was. How was she going to talk to them now? Large platters went around the table. She loaded up her plate, deep in thought. Grant and Justin sat down at the other end of the table. They looked over at her through the dinner but never attempted to talk to her. It hurt. Maybe they were done with her, and maybe she had pushed them away for the last time. She pushed the food around on her plate, unable to eat, feeling sick to her stomach.

  Alyssa stared at her plate, not taking part in the conversations happening around her. Everyone was talking, laughing, and enjoying the dinner. She felt as though she was stuck and consumed in self-pity.

  * * * *

  Grant watched Alyssa as she pushed her fork around her plate, never taking a bite. She looked lost, fragile, and a bit vulnerable. He wanted to walk to the other side of the table and pull her into his lap. He wanted to comfort her. Since meeting her, Alyssa had always been so confident and full of fire. This new version wasn’t what he wanted to see. He realized then that it was time to stop pushing her. Maybe he could figure out a plan to slow down, try to really understand why she was so scared. Maybe he had moved too quickly.

  He really didn’t believe that this could all be related to the spanking. There had to be more, and he needed to get to the bottom of it. Grant got up and started clearing the table, stopping next to Alyssa. He brushed his fingertips against her soft skin, rubbing up her arm. She shivered, looking up, and bit her plump bottom lip. He leaned in and inhaled, smelling a combination of vanilla-bean shampoo and Alyssa’s delicate scent. How could a woman who was so obviously beautiful not see it?

  “When you’re ready for something more with me and Justin, we’ll be here for you.” He licked her ear lobe, enjoying her quick intake of breath. “I think you want us. You’re just scared.” He kissed the side of her head and headed toward the kitchen.

  He hoped that his words would pull her out of the funk she seemed to be in lately. Maybe his words would be a challenge. He smiled at that thought, seeing the spark back in her eyes. He loved when she defied him. The way her eyes would squint a little, the way she arched her right brow and shot daggers at him, was sexy. He wanted to encourage that behavior. It brought out the animal in him, and he wanted to play with her.

  He headed for the kitchen, needing to put a little distance between them. Whenever she was around, he had a hard time controlling himself. He wanted to do all sorts of wicked things to her. He dreamed of spanking her again and promised himself that next time he would strip her bare and spend hours touching and tormenting her.

  * * * *

  Alyssa sat back in her seat and shifted, feeling her pussy clench with desire. Grant’s warm breath against her neck did wonderful things to her body. She licked her lips, wanting to follow him into the kitchen, wanting him to do dirty things to her. It would be wonderful to have him throw her over his broad shoulder, take her to his bedroom, and rip her clothes off her body. She wanted to see his cock free from the confines of his jeans. Alyssa had enjoyed looking at his crotch and seeing it grow and push against his zipper. If only she’d been bold enough to walk over to him and do something about it.

  “Alyssa. Hello. Earth to Alyssa, are you still with us?” Bella’s voice brought her out of her thoughts and back to the table where everyone was watching her with questioning looks on their faces.

  “What?” She snapped back more than she meant to. “Are we leaving?” She looked up at Bella, who was looming over her, watching her closely.

  “Not unless you want to.” She leaned in and giggled. “Although I would love to go home and get my spanking from Clint
. Do you want a drink before we start singing? I thought that maybe we could sing a song together tonight.” She shrugged her shoulders.

  “Yeah. That sounds good.” Alyssa stood up and stretched, realizing that maybe a little liquid courage wouldn’t be such a bad thing. She felt anxious, and she needed to mellow out a little and just enjoy the night with her friends. It shouldn’t matter that the two hottest guys in the world were in the same pub with her. She snorted, and Bella arched a brow, not saying anything, and she was grateful. The last thing she wanted to do was explain anything.

  They walked to the bar, and Alyssa stood next to Bella, letting her order. She hadn’t been into the pub since that night, and she didn’t know if it was even safe to order anything. She shook her head, thinking about Grant. Would he spank her again tonight if she got drunk? Did she want to find out?

  “What are you thinking so hard about?” Bella asked her. Before Alyssa could answer, Justin walked up and she gave her order. “Give me three shots of your best tequila and three beers.” Justin gave them both a look but didn’t say anything. Instead, he went to work getting the order together. Alyssa watched his muscles flex under his shirt. She was drawn to him, to them both.

  “Well?” Bella’s demanding voice got her attention, and she jerked her head from Justin to concentrate on her friend.

  “Um, I’m thinking about Grant and Justin. I don’t think it can work, though.” She hated the sound of her voice. She sounded pathetic.

  “Why? They both seem interested, and you’re obviously interested. What’s the problem?” Alyssa wanted to scoff. Seriously, did her friend not see the truth or was she just always so damn nice?

  “You wouldn’t understand. Look at you.” Alyssa grabbed one shot glass and downed it, taking a quick sip of her beer to kill the burn as it went down her throat. “Your body is perfect. I bet the whole town would gather around just to see you naked. Now, look at me. I mean really look at me. What do you see? Don’t bullshit me either. I’m not a perfect size. What, are you a six?” She grabbed the other shot glass and downed it.

  Bella was staring at her, shock evident on her face, so Alyssa kept talking. “I’m never going to be that small. You’re the pretty one. Jessica’s the smart one. I’m the, what, the fat friend.” She picked up the third shot glass and downed the liquid. She had never said these things before, and she couldn’t believe that she was actually saying them now. She took another sip of her beer and stared at the bar, wishing like hell she had kept her mouth shut.

  “Is that what you think? That you’re our ‘fat friend’?” She put in air quotes for emphasis. “I can’t believe you could even think that. You are gorgeous. Your body may not be a size six, but you have the most amazing figure. I’m talking Marilyn Monroe perfect. I can’t tell you how many times guys have come up to me asking about my perfect friend. I’m just shocked right now. I have no idea what to say.” The look on Bella’s face said it all, and Alyssa hated the fact that she had said anything.

  “It’s fine. Order another round. I don’t want to ask Justin,” she said. Already her words were starting to slur, and she felt vulnerable. She wanted to leave, but running away wouldn’t change a damn thing. It never did.

  “I think three drinks are good enough. We love you, all of us, and I hate that you feel this way.” She knew that they loved her. It wasn’t Bella’s fault. It was her own issues, issues that had been brought on years before. She needed to forgive, and she needed to move forward, but it was difficult. Every time she thought about her mom, she could barely breathe.

  “Fine. No more drinking. What song did you want to sing?” She changed the subject, not wanting to deal with any of her questions.

  Bella let out a deep sigh and glared at her. “There really are a lot of great duets. Let’s see, we could do Sonny and Cher, Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta, Salt-n-Pepa, Puff Daddy and Faith Evans, Bryan Adams and Sting, or I know, we could do a three-way with Jessica and sing ‘Heartbreak Hotel.’ You get to be Whitney Houston, I will be Faith Evans, and Jessica can be Kelly Price. What do you think?” She smiled brightly and Alyssa stood still in shock, her mouth wide open. Had Bella just given her that list? The girl was crazy.

  “No to all of those songs. Seriously? Pick another song and we’ll make it into a duet. I can’t even believe that you suggested Jessica. She hates singing.” Alyssa scoffed.

  “I thought Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta would be great. I love Grease. Please, I really want to be her,” Bella pleaded, trying to put out her bottom lip.

  “No. Absolutely not,” she said

  “Fine. What do you want to sing?”

  “Florence and The Machine. I really love ‘Dogs Days Are Over.’ We’ll try to make it a duet. We can sing the chorus together. Will that work?”

  “Great choice. I’ll have Justin set it up for us. Are you ready?” Bella stepped up next to her and offered her arm. Alyssa took it, and they walked toward the stage. She had always loved to sing. It was a release. It was a place she could escape and become someone else.

  They walked toward the stage and Alyssa finally got a glimpse of Grant and Justin together talking. She tried not to watch them although she ended up staring at their lips, trying to read what they were saying, but it was impossible. Bella led her to the stage, and they waited for Justin as he hurried over to them.

  “What song tonight?” he asked.

  “Florence and the Machine, ‘Dog Days Are Over,’” Bella answered with a sweet smile pasted on her face.

  “All right. I’ll cue it up for you. Go ahead and jump on stage.” He winked and went over to the music equipment.

  “Yeah right, I’ll walk. I’m positive I couldn’t jump.” Her words came out in a slur and a weird look passed over Justin’s face. He didn’t look happy but he didn’t say anything either. Bella pulled her hard, jerking her forward, going to the stairs that lead onto the stage.

  “I’m glad I said no to more drinks. Jeez, Alyssa. What is going on with you?” She shook her head.

  “What do you mean? There is no way I could jump on stage with my fat ass.”

  “You’re not acting like yourself. Seriously? What’s going on?” she asked as the music started. The look on Bella’s face might actually haunt her, her best friend looked so sad and confused. Alyssa grabbed her microphone, ignoring the questions. She just wanted to sing.

  Chapter 4

  Bella sang the chorus and tried to act as if she was having fun for the audience’s sake and for Alyssa. The truth was she couldn’t get their conversation out of her head. It seemed so odd that her best friend could ever think so poorly of herself. She watched Alyssa now, really staring at her, trying to see what other people saw, trying to see what she obviously saw in herself. She had the most beautiful voice. Every song that passed her lips was perfection. Even the audience, which mostly consisted of their friends, was dancing and swaying in their seats.

  Alyssa was curvy, she had a perfect hourglass shape, and both men and women always looked at her, checking out her figure. Bella doubted that a blemish had ever even appeared on her face. Her skin was creamy and smooth. They made eye contact and sang together, and Bella wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close so she could give her a half hug as the song continued.

  She thought back to high school and remembered being so jealous that her friend got boobs before her. She even had a boyfriend when nobody else in their little group did. Alyssa had been the popular girl, and now Bella wondered how long she had pretended to be happy. Did she always think she was fat? Did she always look at them and feel unhappy with herself? It didn’t make any sense, and she started to feel like a really shitty friend.

  The song ended and Alyssa hugged her. Bella had no idea what to say, but she knew that she needed to talk to Jessica. Did Jessica know how Alyssa felt? God, she hoped that she hadn’t been in the dark that long. They walked down the stairs and off the stage hand in hand. Bella walked toward the table, hoping that it was time to go
home. She really needed to think and she really wanted to talk to Jessica, or maybe Clint might have some advice. He was always so great with words.

  “I’m gonna grab anther drink.” Alyssa let go of her hand and headed to the bar. Bella stood next to the table and watched her go, hips swaying as she went.

  “What’s going on?” Jessica asked. She wrapped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her in tight. “I saw her down three shots. Everything okay?”

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head, still feeling a little sick to her stomach about the whole conversation. “I never thought, I mean I didn’t know that Alyssa wasn’t happy. She actually referred to herself as a fat ass.” She hissed the last two words, still unable to believe they came out of Alyssa’s mouth.

  “Her mom.” She shook her head. “Jeez, she hasn’t said anything to me in years. I thought she was over it.” Jessica shrugged as if it was natural, and Bella stared at her. How many secrets were they keeping from her? She knew the two of them were close, but still she was shocked that she had never heard these stories.

  “What are you talking about?” she demanded, feeling completely out of the loop.

  “The diets, she was always on one throughout school. I thought you knew,” she finished.

  “No. I didn’t know. You two seem to have your own private language that I’m not a part of. What else are you keeping from me? I can’t believe you never told me,” she cried out. She hadn’t meant to be so loud or so obvious, but she was feeling hurt by the whole situation. Her two best friends had secrets she knew nothing about, and now to learn about Alyssa… She knew it wasn’t about her but still she wanted to help.

  “I’m sorry. Do you want a list of everything I haven’t told you? Let’s see, one, I’m a Domme in the bedroom. I love whipping men. Two, once a month I take a little vacation to a huge club where I get to live out my fantasies. Three, I get stopped going through airport security all the time. For some strange reason having dildos, anal plugs, floggers, condoms, and cock rings is considered a security risk. Oh, yeah, and the look on your face right now is why I don’t tell you these things.” Jessica laughed, and Bella cringed. She wasn’t that bad, was she? She had never been a prude. How could she be when she had three men.