The Dirty South

by Alex Wheatle

  ‘Well, if that’s your response I must look good!’

  ‘Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting out of this shit. I can’t wait.’

  ‘Nor can we.’

  ‘Anyway, what’s gwarnin with you? You gonna take a gap year from uni?’

  ‘No, I wanna get my education out of the way. I’m going on a week’s holiday to Tunisia with friends from uni and then I’ll be preparing to return to Loughborough.’

  ‘What’s a matter with you, Davinia? Why don’t you take off travelling and shit for a year? See Granny in Jamaica or something. Life is to be enjoyed as well as all that studying shit you do. Ain’t you tired of that? Do you have some kinda fucked-up allergy to having fun?’

  ‘No, I don’t. Like I said, I wanna get it out of the way.’

  ‘Boring! Typical Davinia. You’ll be a doctor of sports medicine soon or whatever it is one day and you’ll be the most sad one.’

  ‘Boring maybe,’ she snapped. ‘But where did an exciting life get you? And what about you with your studying? And the Leicester thing? Are you thinking of studying there?’

  ‘First of all I study in this motherfucking place ’cos if I don’t do something with my head I’ll go all cuckoo on your ass. And I already told you why I wanna move out of London. I won’t be able to concentrate on my shit if I’m in the Dirty South. There’s this brother I met doing bird, a good bredren who helped me out in my first few months. He’s bonafide and his peeps live in Leicester. If I’m in Bricky I’ll be looking over my shoulder everywhere I go. I know Akeisha’s still there but to go back to Bricky might pull my black ass in the shit again. I’ll be down at weekends to visit Akeisha, Paps and Mum.’

  ‘Well if you are in Leicester we could meet up during the week for lunch. Loughborough ain’t too far away. You could pay me to do your assignments!’

  ‘Burn you, Davinia. I can do my own fucking assignments. And as for meeting up, yeah we could but I don’t wanna waste my lunchtimes with you.’

  ‘Dennis!’

  We laughed but after the joke faded I looked into Davinia’s eyes. We were silent for about a minute. ‘You think I can do it, Davinia? Go on to Car mechanics or something? Not too many options for a man with a gun possession conviction, are there? Shit! Will the pussies let me do it? Fuck! If they do I’m gonna be more like Paps and Mum than you! Imagine that shit. Me in a fucking training class! Can you see my black ass in that kinda situation?’

  She nodded… ‘Yes I do, Dennis. I hate to admit it but I didn’t believe it when Mum told me you passed your A-Levels. God! My brother who was always chasing the next buzz and excitement! Passed his A-Levels! It took a while to sink in. Some of the family’s good genes finally found their way to your brain! But seriously, if you want to go any further you’ve got to put the work in. There are two fundamental differences between me and you – I’m better-looking and you’re bone idle and easily influenced, prone to peer pressure. Wait a minute, that’s three!’

  ‘Burn you, Davinia.’

  We laughed together and there was something reassuring about laughing with my sis. It wasn’t always like that. During my first three months doing bird Davinia visited me and all we would do is have a fucked-up grim pulling face contest. But she saw it through with me and she always took the piss out of me as she’s always done before she left. I liked that, it gave me a vibe of something normal in this fucked-up place.

  ‘You can do it,’ she said, getting all serious again. ‘This is still a racist society and in it black women are tolerated more than black men… I know that now. Many victories have been won, by our parents’ generation and Granny’s generation. But there’s still a few more battles to be fought. So, Dennis, every test you pass, every examination you pass and every progress you make is a small victory and a kick in the teeth for the people who hate us.’

  For a few seconds I just had to sit there in admiration. Man! I was so proud of her but I still wanted to tease her like I always did. ‘Davinia, shut the fuck up! Don’t start your preaching, Martin Luther King shit. Save that for nigger moments in uni.’

  ‘Why is it that whenever I try to be serious with you, you throw it back in my face? I’m getting fed up of it, Dennis. Sometimes I dunno why I come here…’

  ‘Why you come here? ’Cos having a banter with you is the only normality I get in this fucked-up place. I look forward…’

  Weren’t meant to let that shit spill out. We looked at each other as I trailed off and Davinia kinda blushed. We both felt uncomfortable.

  Before Noel died I never told him what he meant to me. I ain’t gonna make the same mistake with other people who are close to me. So I might tell Davinia what she means to me when she’s about sixty. I thought I’d better change the subject to stop Davinia looking at me with a fucked-up smug grin.

  ‘So Mum and Paps are really selling the house?’ I said.

  ‘Yes. Mum’s dragged Paps to Purley for the last two weekends. She’s set her heart on moving there. I don’t think Paps has much say.’

  ‘Mum will never change,’ I laughed. ‘I guess it’s the end of an era. We’re all leaving Bricky. What year did Granny settle here? 1961?’

  ‘No, it was 1960,’ Davinia corrected me. ‘July 1960. She arrived with her husband Cilbert, Great Aunt Jenny and her husband Jacob. Even on the day before she left Granny said to me she still misses Cilbert. It was a big deal me going to Loughborough University but can you imagine what it was like for them leaving Jamaica and coming to London?’

  ‘Scary.’ I replied. ‘Fuck my days! Forty-six years ago she came here and now she’s back where she started.’

  Davinia was looking away from me but judging by her expression she was thinking of a sweet memory of Granny.

  ‘So you think you and Akeisha can make a go of things once you get out? Will she move to Leicester after a while?’

  ‘None of your damn business! Why you wanna know? When you showed me that pic of that sad ugly brute that you went out with you didn’t take no notice of what I said. You ignored my advice when I said he looked like the kinda brother who would rub up women on packed tube trains.’

  ‘Screw you, Dennis! He treated me with respect. Not like those other Bricky boys…’

  ‘He had to treat you with respect. A wok from you is probably the only wok he’ll get in his sad, ugly fucked-up life.’

  ‘Dennis!’

  ‘Alright, alright. I’m just playing you! With the Akeisha thing, well. I’ll have to take every day at a time. Well, you know how I feel about her but I can’t move back to Bricky. So many brothers who have finished their bird go back to their ends and end up doing the same shit. They get pulled back into the game. Fuck that.’

  ‘It’ll be sad if you two broke up.’

  ‘We’re not gonna break up. I’m not going to New Zealand, Davinia, just Leicester. Anyway, I want you to visit Akeisha and give her something.’

  ‘Give her what?’

  I leaned in closer to Davinia and spoke softly. ‘Go to my wardrobe and at the bottom of it there are quilt covers and sheets. Look under all that and there is this special jewellery box. Inside that is a wristlet, a wooden bangle. I want you to give it to Akeisha as soon as possible.’

  ‘Why can’t you give it yourself?’ Davinia asked. ‘You’re out in three weeks.’

  ‘Believe me, Davinia. I have tried so many times to give her that bracelet. But I just couldn’t.’

  Davinia was proper confused. ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s a long story, Davinia. Just promise me that you will give it to her…’

  ‘I still think you should do it yourself.’

  ‘Davinia! Can’t I ask you to do one fucking thing?’

  ‘OK, OK, I’ll do it. God! What’s the big deal? It’s only a wooden bangle! It’s not like it’s twenty-four carat gold or something…’

  ‘Davinia! Give it to her and then say I was sorry for not passing it on to her earlier.’

  ‘Alright, Dennis. No need to look at me in
that tone of voice. I’ll give it to her tomorrow.’

  ‘Thank you. Trust! I will remember this favour. Maybe I’ll fix your ride for free one day.’

  ‘Did you steal this thing from her?’

  ‘Kind of.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Before she even knew me. Like I said, it’s a long story.’

  ‘Dennis!’

  ‘But I’m gonna be truthful with her now, Davinia. Gonna tell her everything… I have to ’cos I wanna spend the rest of my days with her.’

  ‘What else is there to tell?’

  ‘What is there to tell? Nuff tings, Davinia. You just make sure you give her the bangle.’

  Davinia looked at me and placed her left hand on my right wrist in an act of reassurance… ‘I will, Dennis.’

  ‘Then I think it will turn out all good.’

  EPILOGUE

  October, 2006

  At St Pancras train station, a boy was eating a red apple while he was waiting patiently with his grandmother. They both stood outside a shop that was at the base of the stairs leading up to the platforms. Akeisha was buying magazines, drinks and nibbles for her journey and upon her left wrist was her wooden bangle. She stepped out of the shop, struggling to carry the items she had just bought while pulling her cabin case.

  ‘Got everything?’ Akeisha’s Mum asked.

  ‘Yes, Mum.’

  ‘Apart from your good sense!’

  ‘Mum! Don’t start. We have gone through this nuff times and I’m not gonna argue with you in front of Curtis.’

  ‘I’m not arguing, Akeisha. I’m just speaking my mind. Aren’t I allowed to even do that?’

  Akeisha didn’t answer her mother. Instead she kneeled down to meet Curtis’s eyes. He was now six years old. She zipped up his jacket and stroked his cheeks… ‘You behave for Granny and Granpa while I’m away for the weekend, OK. Be good for them.’

  ‘Yes, Mummy.’

  ‘Next time I go to Leicester, you’ll be coming with me. I promise.’

  ‘OK, Mummy.’

  Standing again, Akeisha smiled away her mother’s glare. ‘It’s gonna be alright, Mum. Trust me on this. Dennis is a decent guy. It was the environment that shaped him how he was. Now he’s out of that environment he can be what he really wants to be.’

  ‘I hope so for your sake.’

  ‘You raised me to be independent, Mum. Make up my own mind on things. Dennis is working at a garage up in Leicester and is going to college in the evenings. What else does he have to do to prove himself?’

  ‘By keeping himself out of trouble not just for a couple of months but for years and years.’

  ‘He will, Mum.’ Akeisha glanced at her bangle. ‘Anyway, I’m sticking to my decision. Curtis and me are moving up to Leicester in the new year. Come on, Curtis, you can see Mummy getting on her train.’

  Walking up the stairs with purpose, Akeisha laughed when she noticed Curtis jumping up the steps, trying to keep up. He had left his grandmother still standing at the base. ‘Come on, Granny,’ he urged. ‘Don’t you wanna see the long trains?’