Goblin Hero

by Jim C. Hines

  Mold covered the tunnel walls, thriving in the damp lake air. Jig saw nothing out of the ordinary, aside from himself and his companions. Maybe Smudge was getting jumpy in his old age. Considering everything they had been through together, Jig could certainly understand that. He took another step back.

  “What’s wrong, Jig?” Veka shouted. “Running away won’t save you.”

  “It’s always worked before,” Jig muttered. She could see every move they made. “That’s not fair,” he whispered, turning toward the others.

  As he did, a shadow overhead caught his attention. No, three shadows.

  “Good fire-spider,” Jig whispered. Clinging to minuscule irregularities in the obsidian, three lizard-fish watched Jig from the ceiling. They were so still they could have been a part of the rock, save for a slight quiver in the closest lizard-fish’s tail. “First rule of traps,” Jig muttered, remembering what Slash had said before. “Nobody ever looks up.”

  He tried to watch them without moving his head or giving Veka any indication that he had discovered her spies. He stepped toward Slash, a move that brought him almost directly underneath the lizard-fish. The tails of the other two began to twitch now. Jig recognized that motion. They tensed their muscles like that right before they lashed out with those poisonous spines.

  Why hadn’t they struck when Jig and the others passed underneath the first time? Something must have held them back. The same power that had driven them from the comfort of their lake, pushing them beyond the damp sand and onto hated rock. Veka.

  Jig locked eyes with Slash, hoping the hobgoblin would understand. Slowly and deliberately, Jig turned his eyes upward.

  “Look out!” Braf shouted. “Lizard-fish!”

  Even as Jig thrust his sword at the closest lizard-fish, a part of his mind hoped he would live long enough to hide a few lizard-fish in Braf’s undergarments.

  His sword clanged into the ceiling, still sheathed, but the flaming diaper drove the lizard-fish back. They circled around, their tiny legs scrambling in unison. How could they cling upside down like that? Then he remembered Veka’s levitation spell, back at the bottomless pit. She must have been practicing.

  A rock cracked off the ceiling, and one of the lizard-fish fell. It wasn’t dead, but its body bent sharply in the middle, and the tail was still.

  Jig leaped back as the other two lizard-fish dropped to the ground to attack. One landed on its back, while the other scurried after Slash. Jig saw Grell crushing the inverted lizard-fish with her cane.

  Slash was still unarmed, and he leaped out of the way as the lizard-fish charged. He grabbed Braf by one arm. As Braf squawked in protest, Slash kicked the back of the goblin’s knees and flung him to the ground. Braf landed on his back, directly on top of the attacking lizard-fish.

  As Braf scrambled to his feet, cursing and spitting, Jig could see the squished lizard-fish still stuck to the wooden shield strapped to Braf’s back.

  A crunching sound told him Grell had finished off the first lizard-fish, the one with the broken back. “Who threw that rock?” Jig asked, as much to distract Braf from going after Slash as anything else.

  “Oh, that was me,” said Braf. “I’ve always been good with rocks.”

  “You’ve always . . .” Jig’s voice trailed off. He stepped away, shaking his head in disbelief. He waved his light around the floor until he found the stone Braf had thrown. Tucking it into his shirt, he wandered farther down the tunnel, collecting a few more. He came back and dumped the rocks into Braf’s hands. Without a word, he snatched the hook-tooth away and handed it to Slash.

  This time, there were no taunts from Veka as Jig approached the lake. He could hear the others following behind.

  Jig peeked around the edge of the tunnel and nearly wet himself.

  Hundreds of lizard-fish waited on the beach. Veka must have emptied the entire lake to amass so many. They stood facing the tunnel, each one about arm’s length from the next. Aside from the occasional flicking of a tongue, they were absolutely motionless.

  Then they spotted Jig. Each and every head turned in unison.

  Braf tugged Jig’s arm. “I think I’m going to need more rocks.”

  Veka herself sat atop the tunnel that led into the lake. The edges of her cloak trailed along the surface of the water. Her eyes were closed, but she was smiling at Jig. “I knew those pixies wouldn’t capture you.” She patted a pocket in her cloak, doubtless one of those stupid books. “The end of the Path brings the Hero to her final, fateful trial. I should have known destiny’s decree would bring us together for this climactic confrontation. You’ve thwarted me at every pass, Jig Dragonslayer, mocking my efforts to master the mysteries of magic.”

  Jig rolled his eyes. Veka’s “Heroic” dialog had grown even worse. Had she always used such clumsy alliteration?

  He turned his attention back to the beach, particularly to the hobgoblin corpses scattered among the lizard-fish. He counted eight or nine, most of which had died within a few steps of leaving the tunnel. A few dead lizard-fish lay beside them.

  “What we need is about a hundred more hobgoblins,” Grell said.

  “Don’t worry, I can get her,” said Braf. Before Jig could react, Braf stepped into the open and flung one of his rocks. It arced through the air, directly toward Veka’s head. The rock slowed as it neared, coming to a halt just before it hit Veka’s forehead. Without opening her eyes, Veka reached out to tap the rock with her finger. It reversed direction, picking up every bit of speed it had lost and more.

  Jig ducked, and the rock slammed into Braf’s stomach, knocking him onto his back.

  “Nice try,” Veka called out.

  “We should run,” said Jig, keeping his voice low. “Her magic is too strong.”

  “Don’t you have magic of your own?” asked Slash.

  Jig shook his head. “She’s using wizard magic. I only have priest magic.”

  What are you talking about?

  Jig jumped. I can’t do wizardly things like Veka. I can only—

  Magic is magic. The universe doesn’t divide its mysteries into priest magic and wizard magic any more than you divide the air down there into goblin air and hobgoblin air.

  Wait, does that mean I’m a wizard? Jig’s eyes widened. But I have a sword! And I don’t have a staff or a beard or long robes or—

  You’re as bad as Veka, you know that?

  Jig stiffened. So why can’t I use magic to make those lizard-fish turn on Veka?

  That kind of magic takes years of study and discipline.

  A gritty wind began to blow. Veka held her fingers fanned toward the tunnel, her magic shooting sand into their faces.

  Years of study and discipline, or getting possessed by pixies, Shadowstar amended.

  Can you help me fight her magic or not? Jig demanded.

  You’ll need time to learn and practice that style of magic. Ask Veka to meet you back here in about a year or so.

  Jig grimaced and spat sand from his mouth. “I can’t fight her magically.” He stared at the beach, using his fingers to block the worst of the sand from his eyes. Why hadn’t Veka simply sent the lizard-fish into the tunnel to kill them?

  He studied the lizard-fish more closely. Even the twitching of their tails was synchronized, just like the three that had been spying in the tunnel. The only time that had changed was when the lizard-fish dropped from the ceiling and their instincts had taken over. If Jig and the others hadn’t been in the way, would the lizard-fish have left them alone? Free of Veka’s control, they might have fled for the comfort of the beach.

  How much power did Veka need to control all those lizard-fish? “We have to go out there,” he whispered.

  “If you don’t want to be chief, there are easier ways to quit,” said Grell.

  Jig shook his head. Already the sandstorm was beginning to die down. She couldn’t have much power left. Enough to deflect a few rocks maybe. “All the hobgoblins charged straight through the middle,” he said, pointi
ng to the line of bodies. “We need to split her focus. I don’t think she can send them against us all at the same time.”

  “So you’re saying only some of us will get killed?” Braf asked.

  Jig’s shoulders slumped. That was precisely what he was saying. And they reacted precisely the way he would have expected goblins and hobgoblins to react. Grell chuckled. Braf shook his head and backed away. Slash rapped the end of his hook-tooth against the wall, testing its weight.

  “Surrender to me, Jig,” Veka said. “Come with me, and your companions will survive. The pixies will spare you all, but only if Jig gives himself up.”

  “Sounds good to me,” said Slash, stepping toward Jig.

  “Wait!” Jig waved his sword at them. The flaming diaper dropped to the ground. He licked his sand-chapped lips, searching for sympathy and finding none.

  If he tried to run, Slash and Braf would both be able to tackle him. Or Slash could loop the hook of his weapon around Jig’s feet. Jig would never get past them both. “She’s lying,” said Jig. “Remember what Trockle said? The pixies want us all dead!”

  “Trockle said they wanted all of the ogres dead,” said Braf. “Who can blame them?”

  “Braf, think about it,” said Jig. “If she gives me to the pixies, who’s going to help you the next time you get a fang rammed up your nose?”

  He turned to Slash. “And you, hobgoblin. I guess this means you’ll be heading back to your chief to tell him how one goblin female was too much for you to handle? Veka’s been getting the better of you since she first laid eyes on you!”

  He had saved Grell for last, mostly because he wasn’t sure what he could say to convince her. She was too old to threaten, and too smart to fall for any bluff. He stared at the dwindling diaper fire on the ground, and then it came to him.

  “Help me, and when we get back, I’ll take you off nursery duty forever. You’ll never wipe another goblin butt as long as you live.”

  Nobody spoke. Braf and Grell glanced at one another. Slash had a scowl on his face, but he always had a scowl on his face.

  “You really think Veka and the pixies will just go away and leave you all in peace if you give me to her?” Jig asked.

  “I’ve been patient with you until now,” shouted Veka. “It’s time to make your choice.”

  The others looked at one another. Slash was the one who broke the silence. “I’d never hear the end of it,” he said.

  “Do you really think this will work?” asked Grell.

  “Of course,” Jig said.

  Grell poked him with a cane. “Liar.” Groaning, she limped toward the beach. When nobody else moved, she turned around again. “Well, what are you all waiting for?”

  CHAPTER 12

  “Great power carries a great cost. But there’s no rule that says you have to be the one to pay it.”

  —Grensley Shadowmaster From The Path of the Hero (Wizard’s ed.)

  Nowhere in either the ragged remnants of Veka’s spellbook or in her copy of The Path of the Hero did there exist a single warning that the overuse of magic could leave the wizard with such a raging headache. She had never seen Jig suffer this kind of pain after one of his little healing spells. On the other hand, Jig had never tried to control well over a hundred individual minds.

  She kept her eyes closed, seeing through the eyes of the lizard-fish and struggling to merge it all into a single coherent image. So long as she remained still, the feeling that a team of ogres were digging a hole through her skull wasn’t quite as bad. Only a single ogre, and he wasn’t using quite so heavy a pickax.

  “How much longer?” Snixle whispered. By now, she had gotten used to the pixie speaking with her mouth. He had a tendency to curl her tongue into a tube, though, and that was annoying. She could do without the twitching of her phantom wings, too. No wonder Snixle had a hard time controlling other creatures: he insisted on treating them like pixies.

  Veka knew better. Her lizard-fish weren’t miniature goblins to command. The more she tried to control their every movement, the clumsier they became. One of the hobgoblins had crossed half of the beach before she realized she could let the lizard-fish’s own instincts take over, keeping only enough control to aim them at the appropriate prey.

  “Throw more sand at them,” Snixle said, trying to raise her hands. The pounding in her head grew worse. Three ogres worth, at least.

  “I’m not sure I can.” She probably could, but if Braf threw another rock at her, she might not have the strength to stop it. “Be patient. Jig will be out soon, one way or another. The others have a choice between their lives and his. I have no doubt what they will choose.”

  She concentrated on the lizard-fish closest to the tunnel. Lizard-fish didn’t see very well. Their vision was blurred, and she had a harder time distinguishing colors. Not to mention how odd it was to have to look up at everything. On the other hand, lizard-fish had excellent hearing. Not as sharp as the giant bat she had ridden, but good enough to hear the goblins whispering. She couldn’t quite hear Jig’s words, but she could make out the rising fear in his voice. If they hadn’t killed her three lizard-fish in the tunnels, she could have listened in on the conversation easily.

  “Once Jig realizes he’s out of options, he’ll be ours,” she said. Excitement made her shiver, which sent new pangs through her skull. This was worth the pain. Her former days of sitting alone in the back of the distillery, painstakingly struggling through the faded instructions of an old spellbook, were behind her now. Veka had become a wizard. Or sorceress. Sorceress sounded more impressive. Veka the Sorceress.

  “At least send a few more lizard-fish into the tunnel,” Snixle whined.

  “Jig will come to me,” Veka said. Whether he came willingly or was thrown out by his companions was another question.

  As if he had heard her thoughts, Jig stepped out of the tunnel. Even through the blurry vision of the lizard-fish, Veka could see that he was breathing fast, like a rat about to be dropped into the stew pot. He had his sword drawn, but he didn’t seem to be attacking the lizard-fish. The broken tip of his blade hung by his ankle. What was wrong with his arm? A sour taste hinted at pixie magic. The pixies had cursed his sword, from the look of things. Apparently Jig hadn’t come through his last battle unscathed.

  Behind him, Slash poked a weapon toward Jig’s back, urging him onward. Veka’s throat tightened. The hobgoblin was supposed to be dead! She had seen Grell shove a sword into his chest. Jig must have healed him, though she couldn’t understand why he would waste that much magic on a hobgoblin.

  Grell held a makeshift lantern of some sort that burned with a foul black smoke. Braf stood on Jig’s other side, seemingly empty-handed.

  “Go back,” Veka shouted to them. “Tell your people not to resist, and the pixies may let you live.”

  “Right,” Jig said, turning around to leave. “I’ll pass that along.”

  “Not you,” Veka snapped.

  Jig stopped at the edge of the sand. His eyes fixed on the closest lizard-fish.

  “Fear not, Jig Dragonslayer,” she said. “They obey my will, and mine alone.” To demonstrate, she commanded those lizard-fish nearest Jig to move aside, opening a path for him.

  “Veka, do you really believe the pixies will let us live?” Jig shouted.

  “They want this mountain,” Veka called. “Whether we’re dead or departed doesn’t matter. The strongest will rule this place. Isn’t that the way it’s always been? Before it was Straum and the Necromancer who commanded the bulk of the mountain. The pixies are even more powerful, and they’ve chosen this place as their own.”

  She could see Jig shaking as he stepped forward, past the hungry lizard-fish. Veka gritted her teeth as she continued to clear his way. Would it kill him to walk a little faster?

  “Drop your weapon,” Snixle shouted, using her voice.

  Jig struggled to raise his sword arm. Now Veka could see how leather ties secured the sword to his hand and arm. The skin had turned purple
where it bulged between the cords. “I wish I could.”

  When he was halfway across the beach, Veka raised her hand. “That’s far enough, Jig Dragonslayer. From this point onward, you shall submit to my will.” Let him try to fight. His healing magic was no match for her power. She stilled the lizard-fish and opened her eyes, focusing on Jig alone. Controlling lizard-fish was one thing. This would be her first attempt at controlling another intelligent being. She grinned. Not just any being, but Jig Dragonslayer.

  “Look out!” Snixle yanked her to one side, nearly dumping her in the lake. A stone grazed her head, clattering off the top of the tunnel before splashing into the water. Veka recovered to see Jig running as fast as he could, his sword dragging through the sand. He wanted to test himself against her power? So be it. She drew herself to her feet.

  Before she could do anything more, her vision erupted into rippling, blinding light. No, not her vision, but that of her lizard-fish. One segment of her sight now burned with orange fire, rippling through her composite view of the beach as the burning lizard-fish frantically tried to escape the flames. She severed the spell binding her to that lizard-fish, then turned to see what had happened.

  Grell! She had flung a rag of some sort onto the lizard-fish. Even now another burning rag flew from her hand. Trapped by Veka’s spell, the lizard-fish were unable to dodge, and another segment of her vision exploded into flame.

  Veka cut that lizard-fish free, then commanded the others to surge forward. They had barely begun to move when yet another layer of her sight began to spin and whirl. Slash had crept out of the tunnel, and was using the hook end of his weapon to fling lizard-fish into the air.

  Another lizard-fish died as a rock smashed its skull. Braf was throwing rocks again, aiming for the lizard-fish nearest Jig. She tried to intercept the next stone with magic, but Grell lit a third lizard-fish on fire, and Slash was still flinging them to and fro. Much more and Veka would lose the contents of her stomach.

  Enough of this. She relaxed her control over those lizard-fish closest to their attackers. Some immediately scurried for the water, but others were too close to Slash and the goblins. Braf shouted a warning as the lizard-fish broke formation, and he began throwing at the lizard-fish racing toward Grell.