by T L Gray
The bench creaked in protest when someone sat next to me. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know it was Matt. The current surging through my body was confirmation. His thigh brushed mine as he rested his elbows on his knees.
“Why won’t he press charges?” I demanded.
“Retaliation, Grace. He has to consider his mom and his sister. Remember when I emphasized the difference between reported crime and actual crime? Well, here’s your real-world lesson for the day.”
I was growing tired of his “lessons.” Tired of him always having an opinion, and especially tired that he was right almost every time.
He nudged me, his voice softening a little. “Come on. I’ll follow you home.”
“Go ahead. I’m not ready to leave just yet.”
“You can’t sit out here all night.” His tone was stern, fatherly.
I lowered my head to my hands. “Please, Matt, go easy on me tonight. I just can’t face my apartment yet, okay? It will make the events of today too real, too hopeless.”
The silence echoed, cut periodically by sirens or distant voices.
“Let me take you somewhere, then.”
I glanced at him, exhausted and confused. “It’s okay. I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m going to be fine.”
Matt scooted closer and ever so lightly ran his thumb over my cheek, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. “I want to. Please, come with me.” His eyes, more brown than green at the moment, pleaded as he gently took my hand. I knew I should run. Guard my heart like a fortress. But I had no ability to resist.
Riding the bike in a skirt was difficult, but I managed to get situated without flashing passing cars. I held on to Matt for safety, but carefully created as much physical distance as possible during the ride. The city lights faded in the distance as we traveled, wind ripping against my helmet. I thought about the difference between tonight and the first time I rode with him. Back then I was excited, hopeful. Now I knew better. Jaded and discouraged were all I could feel as we sped toward what appeared to be a plateau overlooking a valley.
The rumble of the engine suddenly went silent, and I immediately dropped my hands from Matt’s waist and dismounted. Walking toward the edge of the plateau, I was struck by how visible everything stayed, illuminated by the full moon. The city lights reflected from the valley, making what I’d always considered a small city look grand and alive.
Leaves crunched as Matt approached, my body heating with each step he took. He stopped behind me, but I knew if I just leaned back slightly, I would touch him. And I wanted to, wanted his comfort and reassurance.
Instead, I crossed my arms. “I’m screwing everything up. Nothing like this ever happened when Liz was here.” Defeat rang louder in my voice than I intended.
The motion was gradual, carefully gauging my reaction. I felt his body touch mine and then his slow, deliberate hands slipped around my waist, tugging me back securely. “It’s not you, Grace, it’s just bad timing.”
I fit perfectly in Matt’s arms, and relaxed into him, letting go of the fear. Tomorrow I would hurt. Tonight I just wanted to escape. “Why did you bring me here?”
“I come here when I feel overwhelmed. The peace calms me, reminds me that God is bigger than my circumstances. I thought you might need some reassurance that you weren’t in this alone.”
Large trees glimmered in the moonlight and stood proud and steadfast. I looked back at the city. The buildings seemed smaller, the scene less intimidating. From this angle, it was as if nature prevailed and the hand of God rested over the city and the lives of the children I loved so much.
“Thank you,” I choked out as his lips pressed against the back of my head.
Matt pulled me closer, dropping his head to my neck. “Grace.” The longing and pain in his voice ripped at my heart, even as his lips started to trail down my neck. His grip tightened as if he were drowning, and yet I was the one gasping for air. Lost completely in his touch, I turned in his arms.
His face said it all. The longing, desire, and attraction. It matched mine, only Matt seemed sad, while my heart raced with anticipation.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” I searched his eyes, waiting. I wouldn’t initiate this time.
One arm pulled me closer while the other carefully touched my flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry. That’s what I’m thinking.” The huskiness in his voice stirred more hunger through me, making the small distance that was left between us feel like an eternity.
“Why?” I weakened enough to let my gaze skim down his face and linger too long on his mouth, which was a mere inch from mine.
“Because I should leave you alone. I’ll only hurt you. But yet, here I am, completely powerless, knowing exactly what I’m going to do.”
With that, Matt brought his mouth down hard on mine, taking me over the emotional cliff I’d been hanging on to all day. He demanded and I gave, snaking my hands up his chest until his short hair tickled my palms.
“You don’t know the real me,” he whispered, breaking contact, but only by a fraction.
“Then let me.” I cupped my hand at the back of his neck, dragging him back to me. It was a plea, and I had never before begged a man, but I was willing to do anything to have him kiss me like that again. His grip tightened on my clothes, clenching my blouse while he devoured me with another toe-curling kiss.
I wasn’t innocent. I understood intimacy and lust, but never had I known such need. The way he kissed me, touched me. It was as if his life depended on it.
He suddenly dropped his forehead to mine. “Tell me to stop.”
His breath was as labored as mine. We were both so lost in desire that I actually considered giving myself to him right then.
Shame snapped through me—sharp, painful, and with a scorching burn. I was no better than Lacey or Stewart, who let passion and lust rule their decisions and ruin years of trust. “I’m sorry. I lost myself for a moment.”
Forcing me to look at him, Matt shook his head. “Never apologize, Grace. You have no idea how beautiful you are under the moonlight, looking at me the way you do. It makes me crazy.” He pulled me into his arms and held me reverently as he stroked my back.
“Are you going to disappear tomorrow? Go back to pretending this doesn’t exist between us?” My voice was muffled against his chest and part of me didn’t want his answer.
His body vibrated with a short, harsh laugh. “Oh, Grace, haven’t you realized yet? I’m incapable of staying away from you.”
I held him tighter, silently praying he was telling the truth.
“It’s late. I should take you back to your car.”
I shook my head against his chest, tightening my grip. I didn’t want to go home, didn’t want to let go of this moment. “Just a little longer, please.”
He leaned down, still holding me tightly, and kissed my head. “Okay, Grace. We’ll stay as long as you need to.”
Matt held me while I cried, while I prayed, and while I silently contemplated the ugly world I now saw on a daily basis. He didn’t say a word or force me to talk. He was just there for me, my rock in the storm, until I finally had the strength to stand on my own again.
“Okay, I’m ready now.” I stepped back and wiped away the last of my tears. Cupping my face, Matt pulled me back into his arms and showed me once again why I’d fallen so hard for him. The kiss was intimate and soft, bonding us as two people sharing mutual hope—a hope that this was only the beginning.
Trepidation weighed heavily on my shoulders as I turned the bolt at the center the next morning. The previous day’s events had made for a restless night, as I feared what would come in the new day. Would the center remain empty? Would the kids be too afraid to come? Would Matt give me the cold shoulder again as he was prone to doing? After last night, I could never go back to how things had been between us. He had awakened something in me, something I buried long ago.
I shook my thoughts aside, pushing the heavy doors instead. It was early, just barely a
fter sunrise, but I wanted to make sure the center was prepared for the new policies we planned to put into action. The doors shut with a bang and I turned back the lock before heading to my office.
The sun glistened through the high windows, but still the center seemed brighter than usual. Suddenly realizing a few of the lights were on, my heart sank. We turned everything off when we left each night, a practice that helped reduce our high electricity bills. Glancing quickly at the offices, I soon discovered that only mine was in use, with light streaming through the blinds and creating a striped mosaic on the gym floor. I slowly walked forward. I must have left a lamp on in the confusion of last night. We had all been a little off.
“Hello?” My voice sounded weak, annoying me. No one answered my call.
I continued forward until I could peek into my office without being seen. The view of a man stretched out across the couch sent my pulse skyrocketing as I dropped my keys with a startled squeal. The echo made him stir. As if in slow motion, he sat up, rubbed his eyes, and stood.
It took a while for my brain to function, but once it processed the image in front of me, I let out all the breath I had been holding and stepped through the door. “Sam? What are you doing here?”
He turned to me and smiled, stretching his arms high above his head. “Gracie Belle! I wondered if you would keep the same crazy hours Liz did.” His brown hair fell lazily over his forehead as he glanced at his watch. “I guess you do.”
My body still recovering from the shock, I stepped forward, dropping my bag on the desk. “You scared me half to death.”
Easy as ever, Sam strolled to the doorway and picked up my forgotten keys. Watching him, I understood why he’d been named New York’s most eligible bachelor the past few years. Only ten years my senior, Sam had a youthful playfulness but still had the imposing demeanor of a Fortune 500 CEO. Most of my girlfriends had crushes on him, but I’d known him since I was sixteen and always saw him as more of the young uncle type. Besides, back then I only had eyes for Stewart.
“You don’t sound happy to see me.” He handed me the keys while giving me a look I couldn’t read. Working for him had changed our dynamic and I still hadn’t quite adjusted to it.
“It’s not that. I just wasn’t expecting you until Saturday, for the banquet.”
His arms crossed, but his smile reappeared, sending me mixed signals. “Well, consider yourself lucky to have an extra pair of hands for the next few days.”
I took in his intimidating height and tried to ease the gnawing sensation in my gut. “Sam, if this is about yester—”
“Gracie.” His warning voice stopped me as he lowered one hand to my desk and leaned forward. “My being here doesn’t discount the amazing job you’ve done, okay? I need to know my staff is safe and, well, your father needs to know you are.”
“You told him?” I felt like a little girl all over again.
“I sent his only child hours away, put her in the hood, and then left her to fend for herself. I’m already on thin ice.” He laughed. “My only restitution is that I promised to keep him informed. I don’t break my promises.”
I nodded, understanding. So much for charting my own course.
“You look good, by the way. I think being in charge agrees with you.” His tone changed back to its normal cheery candor as he pulled up a chair. “Speaking of which, why don’t you show me everything you’ve been doing around here.”
Pulling myself together, I grabbed the banquet files and investor information, proud that four businesses had already promised us a monthly stipend that would cover the salary of an assistant for Darius.
Sam listened closely, never interrupting but asking questions when he wanted details. I was surprised by how easy he was to work with. I’d heard others say he was demanding and aggressive in his business dealings. But then again, this wasn’t his business. It was his passion.
The Hartsford Center had been his father’s idea, but Sam carried that dream to fruition. George Hartsford, Sam’s father, lived the ultimate American success story, pulling himself up the ranks to become one of the richest men in the United States. He died when Sam was in college. I always wondered if that was the reason he and Daddy were so close. Though he’d never admit it, I knew my dad had always wanted a son and Sam needed a father.
An hour passed quickly, and soon we heard the doors unlocking as Darius and Jeff came in together. Sam cocked his head toward the sound and smiled at me. “Looks like the rest of the crew is getting here. Let’s see if I can stun them half as much as I did you.”
I nudged him playfully. “You’ve always been incorrigible.”
He winked. “Only with you, Gracie Belle.”
Chapter 19
* * *
MATT
Reds and oranges filled the sky as the sun peeked over the horizon. I sipped my coffee, struggled to loosen the knots in my shoulders, and tried to concentrate on the beauty of the sunrise instead of on my next steps. I’d become resigned that keeping my distance from Grace was impossible, yet I knew that last night was only a taste of how things would be with her. I had been consumed, so lost in her that I moved solely on instinct. Even this morning, I wondered where she was, what she was doing. I wondered if she’d wear the copper suit that set off her eyes. Eyes that saw past my sarcasm and distance to the deepest parts of my soul.
I shifted, frustrated by the yearning that had only deepened for me after holding Grace in my arms. Was this how my father felt? I remembered his jealousy, his rage. My mom couldn’t even talk to another man without consequences.
“No!” I said aloud. I wouldn’t hurt her. I didn’t want Grace to be weak or afraid. I wanted her strong and empowered. I wanted to cherish her and protect her. My father had done neither of those things for my mom. His love was selfish and cruel.
I stretched my weary back and went to get dressed. Maybe I’d stop by the center for just a moment this morning before heading to Bruce’s office. The idea of seeing Grace’s beautiful face made me smile. I’d just take things one day at a time.
I rapped on the door, waiting for someone to let me in. Bruce’s first appointment was at 8:30, so I only had a few minutes. Unfortunately, I’d already imagined several things I could do with Grace in those few minutes, making me antsy when no one came to the door.
Finally the lock turned, but Steven stood in my path. “You do know you don’t work here? Center opens at nine.”
My hard stare forced him to back away as I stepped through the door. Liz’s decision to hire him was one of the only things I questioned. “Grace here?”
“Yes, but she’s busy. You can come back later.” His snotty voice grated, and I cracked my neck in an attempt to calm myself.
Stepping near him, I almost laughed as he cowered slightly. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not the kind of guy who gets told what to do. Capisce?”
He huffed and slammed the doors behind me, but didn’t say another word as I moved toward Grace’s office. Signs were already posted outlining the new policy on clothing and alterations. Irritation swirled in me as I thought how last night would have been avoided if Darius had only listened to me. The anger quickly vanished, however, when I saw Grace.
Standing in her doorway, I noted she wore a gray pantsuit that hugged every one of her beautiful curves. She was focused on the file cabinet in front of her, carefully placing files back in their appropriate spots. I considered surprising her, sweeping her off her feet, but I was enjoying watching her too much to move. She tucked back some hair when it fell over her face. The motion must have clued her to my presence, because she suddenly stood straight, looking nervous.
Sending her a warm smile, I shut the door behind me. Within seconds, she was in my arms again, my lips kissing hers as if I hadn’t seen her in years, not hours. She eagerly responded and all hesitation melted away. There would be no day by day. I wanted it all.
“Good morning,” I whispered as I planted kisses along her jawline. She smelled
like heaven.
The look she sent could have taken down a legion of warriors. “Yes, it is.”
Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I forced myself to step back. I didn’t want her to think I only came by to kiss her, although there was some truth to that. I laced her fingers with mine as I leaned back against the desk.
“Are you worried about today?” I choked out, refusing to be one of those guys who reduced his relationship to only a physical one. It had been a long time since I touched a woman, and my self-control was weak at best.
“I was, but I feel better now that you’re here.” She moved in to lightly peck me again. “I didn’t know what to expect.”
I pulled her closer, her body now pressed up against mine. “Expect to see a lot of me. I may take things slow, but once I’m in, there’s no halfway.”
There was no mistaking the intensity in my voice or the possessive way I held her. Her heart was drumming hard against mine, her breath catching. She trembled as I ran a finger down the length of her hair before taking her mouth in mine again. Electricity coursed through me as my instincts once again overshadowed my good judgment. I shouldn’t be kissing her like this, not in her office, but my mind and body were not communicating.
Her hands pushing against my chest cooled us both down as she took a step back and smoothed out her suit. With her cheeks flushed and hair disheveled from my hands, she was by far the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Attempting to brush her hair back into place, she lifted a hand to hold me off. “You and I may need to set some boundaries early.”
She was absolutely right. I took the hand she raised and brought it to my lips, a reassurance to both of us that my intentions went way beyond the undeniable physical chemistry. “We can do that.”
Just then her door flew open and Grace jumped back. “Gracie Belle! I have a great idea for that back room.” The man entered as if he owned the place and stopped short when he saw me. His smile wavered as his eyes moved back and forth between us.