Mercy's Fight

by T L Gray

  “What’s going on with me?” I hollered back, springing to my feet as well so we were face-to-face. Maybe it was the hours of anticipation or maybe the cruel way he sliced at Matt’s past, but I was done getting yelled at. “What’s going on with you? You’re all over the place, Sam! I get that there’s problems, real problems, but that has never stopped you before. We haven’t even tried to include the authorities and you’re shutting it down? And what’s with this sudden overprotective vibe? Punching Matt and demanding that I go home? What is that? You’re being completely irrational.”

  He ran his hand through his hair and massaged his neck before lowering it. “You’re right.”

  I resisted the urge to say, “I am?”

  Sam stepped closer, getting that look that made butterflies flutter in my stomach, but not in a good way.

  “Gracie Belle, lately, when it comes to you, that’s exactly how I feel. Irrational, confused, excited. My head’s a mess.” His voice had calmed and he took my hands in his. Somehow I knew I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say.

  “I had hoped to handle this better, but I guess we may as well deal with it now. Then we can figure out where to go from here.” He paused as if mentally searching for the words. “Something happened when I came to see you, Gracie. I don’t know. It’s like something clicked or someone turned on a light that had previously been dark. But all of a sudden, you weren’t a little girl anymore but a confident, beautiful grown woman.” He stepped closer. “Now when I look at you, I see Christmases and Thanksgivings. I see family and long nights working together on something we both love. I see a future.”

  Wow. That was seriously the only thought in my head. Wow.

  “I need to sit down.”

  I backed away from him and dropped back into my chair. Sam followed and sat in the chair next to me, resting his arm over the back of mine.

  “It is really so shocking?”

  Eyes wide, I nodded, trying to get my brain to form a coherent thought.

  As the seconds ticked by without a word from me, Sam started to get irritated. “Seriously, Gracie, say something. I mean, come on. I know you’ve noticed me in that way before. Heck, you and your friends called me ‘Hottie Pants’ up until graduation.”

  Suddenly I was laughing, and not politely. Like the gasping for air, snot coming out of your nose, hissing because your vocal cords can’t keep up kind of laughing.

  Sam bolted up to his feet. “Now who’s being irrational?”

  I threw my hands over my face, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry,” I said between gasps. I knew my meltdown wasn’t just because of Sam’s confession. It was everything. All the stress and emotion and agony I felt over the past week just spilled out of me with a vengeance.

  He walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and then slammed it shut. “Maybe I was wrong about you being a grown woman,” he muttered in the distance.

  That made me get my hysteria under control. I wiped my eyes and walked to the kitchen, but still had to consciously hold back my giggles. He eyed me suspiciously when I stood next to him and leaned back against the counter.

  He handed me a bottle of water. “I guess I got my answer.” His voice was flat, but he didn’t seem angry.

  “I’m sorry I laughed. It was an emotional reaction to all the stress lately. But I have to admit I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” I eyed him. “Is that why you hit Matt? Some kind of territorial guy thing?”

  “Give me a little credit, Gracie. I hit Matt because he preyed on you. He exploited your vulnerabilities so he could make some money.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Wait a second. He would never. Matt loves those kids. Even more than the two of us do.”

  He pulled his arm from my grip. “Don’t put me in the same category as him. So maybe things between us got a little muddied, but I have always put your best interest first. Don’t forget that we’re here right now because you lied to me. You put his advice above my rules. Rules I put in place for everyone’s protection.”

  I crossed my arms, the desire to laugh completely gone. “You’re wrong. Matt’s a good guy, and I love him.”

  Sam snorted. “Love him? You’ve known him for like two minutes. Besides, I think we both know from your track record that you don’t pick the best men.” He walked away, looking more annoyed than angry, and went back to the living room to grab his cell phone. “We leave tomorrow morning, ten o’clock.”

  I stood in the kitchen replaying the day’s events. The old Gracie, the pushover, would stay put, do whatever Sam said to keep the peace. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to see Matt and at least tell him good-bye before I headed home. I needed to promise him that I would be back.

  I walked over to my purse and picked it up slowly, waiting for the reaction I knew was coming.

  Sam approached. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to stay with some friends. I think in light of everything, it’s best. I’ll be back in the morning by nine, ready to leave.”

  He dragged his hand through his hair. “Gracie, that makes no sense. You have a room here. Heck, you’re the only reason I bought a place with two bedrooms to begin with. We’ll hang out, watch some TV. I don’t know, talk. Come on, Gracie. If you leave now, it’s going to be awkward between us.”

  I leaned in and gave Sam a hug good-bye, one he barely returned. “You and I will be fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Exiting his building, I felt an odd sense of freedom. Or maybe just spunk.

  The sun warmed my face, and I stood with a goofy grin and closed my eyes. The air was thick with moisture, and sweat beaded on my skin almost immediately, but I didn’t care. For the first time in my life, I decided what I wanted and then had the courage to do it. Suddenly everything felt possible. Matt and even the center. In my heart I knew we’d find a way.

  I opened my eyes and it was like God agreed, because perfectly positioned in my line of sight was the tall silhouette of the man who had changed my life. He stood, looking off in the distance with his arms crossed, leaning against my car.

  He turned my way as I approached, his dark sunglasses blocking any emotion I may have been able to detect from his eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” The words were a good front for what I really wanted to do, which was to throw myself into his arms.

  He didn’t move as he kept those shielded eyes on me. “Waiting for you.” When I didn’t respond, he stepped closer, the brush of his thumb like feathers across my cheek. “Do you have time for a ride?”

  My life was a mass of uncertainty, but I knew one thing for sure. When it came to being with Matt, my answer would always be yes.

  Chapter 41

  * * *

  MATT

  The heat generated from her body pressed against mine was almost enough to distract my driving. She hadn’t hesitated. Hadn’t even asked how I’d found her. I guess she knew I was the kind of man who’d snoop through every paper in her office if it meant finding Sam’s address.

  I thought I was strong enough to let her go. Let her have her polished life back. But when Sam walked out the door, it hit me that I might never see her again. No matter what had happened or what would happen, I knew I couldn’t live with that. Selfish as it was, my life was forever entwined with hers.

  Stopping just feet from the plateau, I cut the engine and enjoyed that she didn’t rush to let go of me. But seconds later she did and I longed for the contact again, needed it more than my next breath.

  She slid off the bike, but before she could even step away, I caught her arm, folded her into me like a man starving for affection.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, kissing her head, cheeks, eyes—everything I could touch on her face—before lowering my head into the soft crevice by her neck. Could she sense my desperation? My need? “I want you to stay. I love you so much.”

  Her heart’s steady rhythm sped up as she held me tighter. There was no beginning or end to us, just a reconnecti
on that never should have been severed in the first place.

  “You were right. I was afraid. When I saw Stewart hug you. When I realized that you had loved someone like him, I couldn’t breathe. He could give you the world and all I had was a damaged past and a shaky future. And then there was Sam saying things like ‘growing pains’ and that I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I ran before you could.”

  She pushed back and I loosened my arms just enough to let her look at me directly. Her eyes pooled with tears, one escaping when she blinked. I swiped it away, never wanting to be the reason for her tears. Leaning in, I put my forehead to hers. “Can you ever forgive me? Give me another chance?”

  I waited for her answer, my palms sweating in anticipation. She hadn’t said a word, but I saw love in her eyes.

  “Forgiveness is needed when someone wrongs you, Matt. You never did. I know all about fear, so I’ll never fault you for feeling it. You and I will face a lot of ups and downs. And I can’t always promise that Sam or someone else isn’t going to say something rude. We do come from very different worlds, but that’s what makes this so sweet. The key is trusting each other enough to make the journey.” She stepped back, her eyes catching mine, challenging me. “Do you trust me?”

  The question held more weight than she realized. I didn’t trust easily, but even so my answer was instant. “Yes, I do.”

  She smiled and the world felt whole again. I couldn’t wait another moment to feel her lips against mine. Restore all we had been and more. She poured into me as freely as ever and this time I did the same. Giving my heart, holding nothing back, no matter the cost.

  “We’ll find you a place to live and a new job,” I whispered, still touching the softness of her lips with mine. With just an easy breath, I was back to kissing her, imagining the day when I could completely make her mine.

  She stiffened and broke away.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m leaving in the morning for New York.”

  The knocking of my heart battled the ringing in my ears. “What do you mean you’re leaving? Why?”

  Easing out of my arms, she took my hands in hers. “I need to go home. Hug my parents and reassure them that I’m safe. Matt, I have no clothes or money. They ruined everything. It’s just not practical for me to stay here, especially when I need to keep pushing Sam to reopen the center.”

  “Then we’ll go together. I’ll drive you myself and then bring you home.” I wouldn’t let her go. Not again.

  Her sympathetic smile matched the look in her eye. She didn’t want me to go.

  Touching the bruise that Sam’s punch had left behind, she continued, “I don’t think you being there is going to help me change Sam’s mind. He has a big heart but an equally big ego. What happened in the center was like a slap in the face.”

  She wanted trust, but how could I be okay with her leaving? She would never come back once she tasted the freedom of her old life. Free from all the sacrifices and broken people, myself included.

  “You won’t come back,” I choked out.

  Her hands on my face forced me to look at her. The kindness in her eyes, the glossiness of her skin, the way her hair framed her dimpled cheeks did more to torture me than reassure me.

  “You said you trusted me.” She searched my eyes for confirmation.

  “I’m trying to, but you’re walking away from me.” What had I expected? I had driven her to this moment, telling her over and over again that she didn’t belong here. I had pushed her away.

  She moved forward, pulling me back to her until we locked together again. The kiss was different this time. It felt like our last one. Desperation consumed me. “Please don’t go. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We don’t need Sam or your family. Marry me. Now. Today.” I dove in deeper, kissing her until she had to stop and catch her breath. She tried to push away, to break free from my embrace. I wouldn’t let her. Wouldn’t let her say the words I knew were coming.

  “Matt.” Her voice, so soft, so fragile, ripped through my fear and I slowly released my grip, giving her the space she wanted. Again her eyes searched mine. I didn’t know why. My feelings were already exposed. I’d laid it all out and she was about to reject me.

  “It’s not a choice between you or them. My parents are wonderful people. I want them in my life. Sam’s a good man. I know you don’t think so, but he is. They aren’t our enemies. They’re my family.”

  I turned away. I couldn’t stomach any more.

  “Matt, you’re my future. I know this. I even think deep down they know this. But I can’t run off with you, forgetting my obligations to them and to the center. That’s no way to honor God or start a life together. I need to leave, but I promise you I’ll come back.”

  Turning to her, I held her face in my hand. I had no choice but to believe her. No choice but to wait, even though I was terrified of losing her forever.

  “You say the word, and I’ll have a plane ticket waiting at the airport.”

  She smiled, leaning into my hand on her cheek. “It won’t come to that.”

  I tugged, forcing her close to me again, the intensity of my stare meant to seal my oath. “But if it does, I will come for you.”

  She didn’t speak but wrapped her arms around me in a fierce hug. I had gotten all I had hoped for—reconciliation, and reassurance of her love. Yet why then, when I held her, did it feel like the beginning of the end?

  I took Grace home earlier than I wanted to because I had promised Cody a victory dinner. He not only made the varsity team but was also guaranteed to be a starter.

  We lingered in front of Jake’s condo, neither one of us wanting to be the first to say good-bye.

  “What time do you leave tomorrow?” I asked, still holding her.

  “I have to be at Sam’s by nine. He wants to be in the air no later than ten.”

  I reminded myself for the hundredth time to trust her. To fight against the part of me that wanted to throw the shield back up over my heart.

  Kissing her one final time before letting her go, I willed myself to look confident. “You’ll call me when you get there?”

  “Of course.”

  She turned the knob and mouthed, “I love you,” then disappeared behind the door.

  Using all that was left of my willpower, I walked back to my bike and headed to meet Cody at the Pit Stop. He’d earned a barbecue dinner—that was for sure.

  Timely as ever, Cody was already waiting at the entrance when I pulled up to the small restaurant. He stood straight, with a relaxed smile on his face. His newly confident posture wasn’t the only thing that had changed during the six months we’d been working together. Cody had easily dropped sixty pounds of fat and put on about twenty pounds of muscle. The bullying had completely stopped, just as I expected it would as soon as he knew how to defend himself.

  “So how’s it feel to be the newest member of the Trojans varsity wrestling team?” I asked, grabbing his shoulder in an affectionate squeeze.

  “Surreal, actually.” He smiled like a man who had just conquered the world.

  I slapped his back and pushed him through the door. “Come on. I want to hear all about it.”

  Cody started telling me details but turned quiet when Carol charged toward us with a big smile on her face. “My love! Where have you been? And where is that lovely lady friend of yours? Still around, I hope.”

  I hugged the boisterous Carol, catching the shock on Cody’s face. She had a way of stunning people. “She’s very much still around. I just thought I’d take this guy here out for a little celebration dinner. He made the varsity wrestling team today.”

  Carol turned her penetrating eyes to Cody, who squirmed shyly under her stare. “My, my, aren’t you a handsome feller. Ohhh, my girls would go crazy over that baby face.” She grabbed some menus and then turned. “Come on. Let’s get some food into those bellies.”

  My phone buzzed in my pocket as we talked, but I silenced it qu
ickly. People who chatted on the phone during dinner annoyed me to no end.

  Carol took our orders and disappeared, but not before embarrassing Cody a little more. She got a twisted pleasure out of doing that sort of thing.

  “Okay, so give me the play-by-play.” The phone vibrated again in my pocket. Silencing it before he noticed, I leaned in, giving Cody my full attention.

  He relaxed and then went over the whole tryout process. “Well, I walked into the gym, and I swear you could have heard a pin drop. For a moment, I strongly considered turning around and walking right back out. But then I realized I was more scared of you than them, so I stayed.”

  I rested my elbows on the table, not at all amused. “Good, because I would have killed you.”

  Cody laughed and then continued, “So they started by pairing all of us new guys against each other. I guess to kind of rank us early on. My nerves were going crazy because the first guy had about two inches on me. But as soon as they blew the whistle, I don’t know, something in me snapped and I had him on his back in three moves. That caught the assistant coach’s attention, so he paired me with Blake Mason.” Cody’s eyes got big, as if I should have known the significance of that name.

  When he saw my confusion, he clarified for me. “Blake Mason is the best junior on the team. Everyone knows he will make captain next year. So we paired up and he was harder, of course, but still I had him flat the minute I used that side hold and twist move you showed me. Well, now everyone was watching, and all the other pairings were stopped. Coach Taylor, the head coach, called me over and started asking me all these questions. What team I’d been on before, who I trained with. He couldn’t believe that I’d never competed. So then he brings out the big guns. Joshua Fedder, senior, all-American, state champ runner-up last year.”

  Pride for him radiated in my smile. “Let me guess, you had him on his back, too.”