Fearless Warriors

by Drew Hayden Taylor

  “But where are his parents?” Everybody had a good idea as to the answer to this question, but they were afraid to voice it.

  It was Mags who took the first step. After some prodding, her husband finally agreed to take two of the Constables out to follow the winter road across the lake.

  They were out a little over a mile, travelling slowly and studying the surface intently, when they came across a break in the shallow snow wall which lines the winter road. It was almost invisible, hidden by the three-day-old fallen snow. After that, it wasn’t long before they found the remains of a trail—a trail that ended abruptly at a patch of freshly frozen ice.

  The police later theorized that Ryan’s parents got lost in the thick snowstorm that was falling that morning and veered off the main road towards the channel, where a half mile away, they went through the ice. Somehow, Ryan must have gotten out of the car and crawled onto the safe ice. He liked riding with the back window open because he sometimes got car sick. He must have walked home, soaking wet, through the snowstorm and subzero weather, and then broke into his own home. Three days later he was found. They never found the car, though. The lake is over two hundred feet deep.

  Even to this day, a good quarter of the village won’t drive across the lake anymore because of what happened. People say it was just an accident, but you can still see the shudder sweep across their faces when they talk about it, usually around freeze up or melt down. Oh sure, every winter some fool people go through the ice like clockwork. It’s usually some white cottagers who decide to go and try their new snowmobiles out on the lake too early or too late in the season. Or sometimes they race across the lake and forget where they’re going and drift a little too close to the channel where the ice is thinner because of the current. Kiss the skidoo and the occasional cottager goodbye. Most of the Native people haven’t gone ice fishing near the channel since Kid Johnson caught what he thought was a hell of a big fish there one spring.

  Eventually they took Ryan to the hospital, and considered taking Aricka too, but one of the aunts convinced the doctor that she could better take care of her. The cops wandered around aimlessly, a little ill at ease and a bit confused. There were no bad guys to chase, no bodies to identify or take away, no tickets to write. All they had were two kids, one pretty well catatonic, and a big hole in the lake. Pretty soon they packed up and left the house to the relatives.

  I remember playing in the snow as the cop cars drove by our house. Us kids hadn’t heard the news yet, but my parents had. They looked out the window at the retreating cars with sombre expressions on their faces. We knew something was up, but when you have two feet of good snow to play in, who cares.

  By that night everybody knew, regardless of age. Contrary to popular belief, not a lot of exciting things happen on reserves. This event would keep the phone lines tied up for at least a good month. Once the news got around, a bunch of us kids would gather by the shore of the channel and look out towards the section of lake where the car went in, looking vainly for anything out of the ordinary—as if we were expecting the car to come driving out through the ice, or at the very least Maureen and Martin to suddenly appear to a half dozen partially frozen children. Kids are strange people.

  Aricka was back in school within three days. Some of her closest friends surrounded her and offered companionship and support, kid style, but the majority of us wouldn’t go near her if we could help it. If we bumped into her in the hall we’d say “hello” and all that, but that was the extent of it. For some reason she seemed tainted with something dark and we didn’t want to have anything to do with it. William swore off his crush on her, preferring fresh game. I even felt guilty about avoiding her.

  But one place I couldn’t avoid her was in class. I sat beside her in history. Usually a talkative girl, all day she just stared at her books, occasionally looking up when the teacher spoke. The teachers knew enough not to call on her for any questions, which surprised those of us who doubted the common sense of most teachers. At one point her pencil broke, and she fumbled around in her pencil case for another. She always liked writing in pencil—said it gave her a chance to rethink things. I offered her mine. I’m a pen type of guy. She looked at me. I think I even caught a bit of a smile.

  “Thanks.” She took it and went back to work. That was our conversation for the day.

  Ryan on the other hand was a different story. He was in the hospital for two weeks, in bad shape. His body temperature was really low and he had other problems. He wouldn’t eat. He wouldn’t do anything. They even brought in one of those psychiatrists, but with little result. It was like talking to a disconnected telephone.

  One day, about a week after my conversation with Aricka, William and I paid him a visit. Actually, that’s not quite correct. Rather, my mother, in exchange for a trip into town to see a movie, told William and I that we’d be making a pit stop at the hospital, whether we wanted to or not. It was sort of Mom’s reserve version of home psychiatric treatment. If only dogs can talk to dogs, then only kids can talk to kids.

  William was not amused. The last thing he wanted was to spend a Saturday afternoon in a hospital talking to some orphan kid gone crazy that he never liked in the first place. William is like that. To tell the truth, I didn’t want to be there much myself, but neither of us could or would say no to my mother.

  “I hate your mother,” was all William could say as we walked down the antiseptic-smelling snow-white hallway. That’s how we found ourselves going into room 413—an ominous number if we’d ever heard one.

  The door was open and we entered. We could see him from where we stood. Ryan was almost lost in the sheets. We were surprised at how different he looked, how much weight he’d lost. He almost disappeared into the pillow and sheets. Only his dark skin told us where he was.

  We shuffled nervously, neither of us wanting to say anything in the quiet of that room. There were two other beds there. One was empty and the other had some white kid in it reading a stack of comic books. Ryan seemed oblivious to everything.

  Finally I broke the silence. “Hey Ryan, how you doin’?”

  The silence returned. William and I looked at each other.

  “He doesn’t talk. He’s kinda spooky.” It was the comic book kid, some redhead with a leg in a cast.

  “He hasn’t said anything at all?”

  “Nope. The nurses, the doctors, everybody talks to him but he doesn’t say anything. Why’s he in here anyway?”

  A little more reassured that Ryan wouldn’t jump up and grab him, William edged a little closer to him, his curiosity getting the best of him. “His parents went through the ice in a car.”

  The comic book kid looked surprised. “They put you in the hospital for that?”

  “He was in the back seat. Barely got out. I think that’s why he’s like this.” I found myself edging closer. By now we were both at the bedside, looking at Ryan. Seeing all the tubes and medical stuff running everywhere almost made the trip worthwhile.

  “Ryan?” No response. “It’s Andrew and William.”

  William managed a feeble “hi.” Ryan couldn’t manage even that.

  “I told you.” The comic book kid was getting annoying. William looked at me.

  “Well, we tried. Let’s go. The movie starts in half an hour.”

  William was already edging his body towards the door, but for some weird, no doubt morbid, reason, I was fascinated by Ryan. I didn’t want to leave just yet. “Look at his face. I wonder what he’s thinking about. What do you think, William?”

  “I don’t know. The Flintstones. Let’s go.”

  “He looks cold.”

  “Not anymore.” This time the voice came from Ryan. If it were possible for two thirteen-year-olds to have heart attacks, that was the time. Even the comic book kid looked up in surprise.

  “Ryan?!” My voice quivered. Slowly he turned to look at me. The glazed lack of expression had left his face. He now looked like he was either concentrating or constipat
ed.

  “I’m in a hospital?”

  William and I could only nod.

  “My parents are dead, aren’t they?”

  Again we nodded.

  “I’m hungry.”

  William, still a bit nervous, reached in his pocket and brought out a package of gum. He removed one stick and held out his hand towards Ryan.

  “It’s all I got.” Ryan looked at it for a moment, then reached over and grabbed. The moment his hand touched the gum William jerked his hand away.

  “Thanks.” Ryan mechanically removed the wrapper and put it in his mouth. The chewing looked like it took some effort. The only noise that could be heard in the room was the sound of gum chewing and comic book pages being turned.

  After a moment of silence, Ryan pulled himself up in bed and looked out the window. “So, what’s new?”

  “Ryan, are you okay?” I always seem to find myself in the role of the big brother. Ryan still was not looking at us. He was staring into the glaring sunlight.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “How come you haven’t talked in a week?”

  “I don’t know. I just kept seeing Mom and Dad in the car, going through the ice. And pretty soon, I didn’t want to see that anymore, so I went to sleep.”

  “But you were awake.”

  “Didn’t feel like it. Then I heard your voices, like in school, and I remembered I have a test in Math. Mom always liked me doing good in Math.” How about that, my Mom was right. Only dogs can talk to dogs.

  “Um, that was four days ago.”

  “Guess I failed, huh?” Then his whole body started to shake, his face contorted and it was obvious what was coming next. The sobs rolled out of him, gradually getting louder and louder till then filled the room. This was gutwrenching, it looked almost painful. Everybody had seen crying before, but this wasn’t ordinary. We bolted for the door, grabbed the first nurse we saw and pointed her in Ryan’s direction. Then we got the hell out of there. We’d seen enough scary things for the day. Needless to say, we didn’t enjoy the movie much.

  The next day at school Aricka made a beeline for me on my way in. “I heard you visited my brother yesterday.”

  After what had happened, crying and all, we weren’t sure if this was necessarily a good thing or not. So I tried to play it cool. “Yeah, we dropped by.”

  “Thanks, he’s talking now.”

  I shuffled my feet. “And crying.”

  “Yeah, but the doctors say that’s good. What did you say to him?”

  “Nothing really. Just said hello and talked about how cold he looked. That’s all.”

  Aricka smiled at me. “Well, whatever you did, thank you.” Then she leaned over and did the most amazing thing. She kissed me on the cheek. I’d never been kissed on the cheek by a girl before. I’d never been kissed anywhere. It was the strangest feeling I’d ever had. My insides were melting, I would have died for this thirteen-year-old-girl, yet I was terrified that someone had seen us. I figured I was too young to die of embarrassment. I just stood there, stunned. And she was still standing there too. “Could you do me another favour?”

  Barely trusting myself to talk, I managed to sputter out, “What?”

  “Help me do something. Come with me out on the lake.”

  I came to instantly. “Are you crazy? Your parents just … well, you know.”

  “I want to put some flowers on the spot where they … were. I was so mad at them when they left. I’ll feel better if I say goodbye. Please come with me.”

  There was no way I was going to go out on that ice ever in my lifetime, let alone within ten days of what happened. Not for any girl.

  “Sure, when?”

  She smiled the most incredible smile. “Tomorrow, after school.” She kissed me again and went in the school. This set the pattern for the many stupid things I would find myself doing for women over the next dozen or so years.

  The next thirty hours were less than enjoyable. The thought of going out onto that ice terrified me. The weather was getting warmer, yet my feet were getting colder. All through school the next day she smiled and gave me the thumbs up. Finally, three o’clock rolled around, as did my stomach.

  She was to meet me at the doors of the school. I was half tempted to make a run for it, but I had made a promise. I was scared but proud. The last few students made their way through the doors, then she showed up.

  She solemnly buttoned up her coat. “Let’s go. We have to stop at my house first.”

  It was there where she picked up her flowers. She had moved back into the house about a week ago, and one of her unmarried aunts had moved in with her. Somehow she had scammed her aunt into getting some flowers for her, saying they were going to some gravesite. “I’ll deal with my aunt later,” she said as she gathered them up. This was the first time I’d been in that house since it happened. It was unnerving. Nothing looked changed, except an 8 x 10 picture of the family that had once been a 5 x 7. The smiling eyes of Maureen and Martin seemed to stare out at me. So did Ryan’s.

  We retraced the steps Ryan had taken from the lake to the house. There was already a path broken in the snow, no doubt created by the cops as they investigated. Aricka was talking on about the state of her family but I couldn’t listen. I kept thinking about Ryan walking the entire distance, wet, and a zombie. I shivered from more than the cold. Aricka led the way, her arms full of roses. I followed.

  “Ryan’s doing good. The doctors say he can come home in a few days. I saw him last night. He misses me, and the family, but he won’t talk about Mom and Pop. The doctors say not to force him.”

  I almost tripped over a buried log and stumbled off the path. In the freshly overturned snow, I saw a flash of red. I picked it up and it was a red mitten of some sort.

  “Aricka? What colour were Ryan’s mitts?”

  Aricka trudged on, without even looking back. “Red, why?”

  I threw it away like it was covered in ants. “No reason.”

  We finally reached the windswept lake. I tried to see the other side but the glare from the snow made me squint. Walking on the ice was a lot easier. The constant wind had packed the snow quite well, giving it a little padding, almost like walking on long grass.

  The wind howled at us as I stupidly put one foot in front of the other, wishing I was anywhere but here. Aricka led the way, a good two feet in front of me. I couldn’t help but think that if my family knew I was out here, I might as well go through the ice. I tried to look through the blinding glare to make sure nobody could see us, or identify me.

  Suddenly Aricka stopped, then I stopped. We had been walking about twenty minutes and had come to a place where it was obvious a lot of people had been standing around. Cigarette butts littered the area, as well as the odd pee stain. The police had been here. And there, in the centre of everything, was a refrozen jagged blot in the lake. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it, knowing that somewhere beneath it, a couple of hundred feet or so, was a Ford with two overweight Indians in it. And they would probably be there forever.

  Aricka stood there for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and walked forward. Her foot gingerly tested the new ice but by then it had frozen solid enough to support the weight of a thirteen-year-old girl. She walked to the centre of the blot, and kneeled. She put the roses down gently and seemed to pet them for a moment. Freezing, but not wanting to say anything, I shuffled from one foot to another.

  “Goodbye, Mom, Pop. I’ll remember you.” I think she was crying, but I couldn’t see because of her coat hood. In the coldness of the wind, I was worried the tears might freeze.

  We remained like that for a few minutes before she stood up and started walking back to the shore. Thanking God with every step, I followed.

  Without looking at me, she had to shout above the blowing of the wind. “It’s over now. Thanks, Andrew.” Even out on that frigid lake, I felt a little warmer.

  Then she stopped and turned around. She had been crying. “I know you didn’t want
to come, but you did. I knew nobody else would come with me. Or they’d try and talk me out of it. Thanks so much.” Then surprise number two happened. She grabbed me and hugged me. I was a little embarrassed, but instinctively my hands went around her. She wasn’t still crying or anything, it just felt like she wanted to hold onto something. Out on that barren lake, I guess I was the only thing. After that, we quietly went home.

  Ryan came home a few days later, looking more sombre than ever. They had managed to put some weight on him, but he still looked small. Hoping for another hug and kiss I went over to visit them. Ryan almost looked normal, but there was still something about him, something that hovered about him crying out, “This kid has seen some seriously scary stuff.”

  He still wouldn’t talk about his parents, or what really happened that day. All the doctors were worried about that but Ryan didn’t care. Neither did Aricka. She was just happy to have him back. And to think just two weeks ago, she was calling him “the little scum.”

  By the summer, Ryan had pretty well become his old self. He was playing with his old friends again, doing things, even laughing. There was a big party on his tenth birthday. I was there, and I even managed to bring William. It was held down at his aunt’s place, down near the tip of the lake. After all the festivities had happened, everybody decided to go swimming. The lake was alive with the sound of splashing and laughing kids.

  All except for Ryan. He refused to go in the water. He just sat on the dock watching, occasionally waving. But he never went in the water. He blamed it on a cold he had, but there was something more. The fact that he never went swimming, canoeing, fishing, anything water-related ever again, led me to believe I was on to something. Aricka just shrugged it off.

  “He’ll get over it. Don’t worry.”

  Aricka and I were spending a lot of time together. By the first anniversary of the accident, we were officially an item. Again she talked me into accompanying her out onto the ice, and again we put the roses down, though we had trouble finding the exact spot. We hung out together until we were seventeen, and then the time came for me to go off to college. It was an amiable separation. We just grew apart.