Pioneer, Go Home!

by Richard Powell

  Blackie was standing next to me on one side, and a couple nice-looking girls was on the other, and one of them girls turned to me and said, "You're quite a plunger, Big Boy. Where are you from?"

  Blackie leaned over and said, "He's a friend of mine. You might say he's the bait-and-boat king of these parts."

  The girl waved her eyelashes at me like she was trying to whip up a breeze, and wanted to talk. But if I had talked to her she would have ended up telling me Oh I am out of chips, and I would have had to give her some, and I reckoned I could have as much fun losing my chips as she could. So I played a long time and didn't do bad and after an hour or so still had nearly half them blue chips I started with.

  Around diat time I had to go to the rest room, and Blackie showed me where it was. It warn't nearly as good as the rest room Pop had built for us, except that Little Nick and Blackie had brung in regular plumbers and so them johns just flushed one at a time. While I was washing up, another feller come in, and I seen he was one of the fellers that ran the craps and was called the stick man. He had a thin face that you might think could be pushed through a keyhole without scraping much.

  "Hello, Mac," he said. "How yuh doing?"

  "Right good, thanks," I said.

  "Didn't look that way to me," he said. "Seemed to me you been dropping a package."

  "Well, I started with fifty blues and still have about twenty-five left and it has been a lot of fun."

  "At twenty clams for each of those blue chips, that's five hundred clams. Don't that mean nothing to you?"

  I knowed he warn't talking about real clams and so I reckoned that was a slang name for white chips which are the color of parts of a clam shell, and of course twenty- five blue chips would be five hundred white chips or clams if you wanted to call them that. "Well," I said, "I admit I would rather win than lose."

  The feller looked all around and made sure the door was shut tight. Then he pulled me over into a corner and whispered, "I want to show you something. Ever see a pair of babies like these?" He brung out a pair of dice and rolled them on the floor. They bounced off the wall and come up seven. "Not bad, huh?" he said.

  "There was a couple of times out there I rolled a seven," I said. "But they come along when I was trying to make a point and so I lost."

  The feller rolled the dice again and they come up seven. "Try them yourself," he said, peeking around at the door.

  Well, I rolled them dice five times and they come up seven each roll. "Look at that," I said. "I am learning to make them dice behave."

  "You kidding?" the feller said. "These dice are loaded. They always come up seven, except once in a while they skid on that green felt and come up a two or three or twelve. But you just lose your bet and not the dice on those numbers, so you can make up for it on the next roll."

  "They would be right handy things to have, but I don't reckon it would be honest."

  "You kidding? What's honest about any gambling house? Any time they act honest is when they got the odds killing you. Now listen, Mac. I like your looks and I'm gonna make you a real offer. I went to a lot of trouble swiping these dice off the house and loading them. Little Nick uses dice of a special color so you can't ring in outside dice on him. This is the only pair that can be rung into the game without being spotted, and I'm the only guy can ring them in. I'll go back out there first, see, and then you come out and get back in the game. When it's your turn to roll, I'll ring in these dice. Bet the works on a natural and you'll clean up. Of course there's a chance they might come up two or three or twelve by skidding on that green felt, but all you have to do is double up on your next bet. It'll be a killing. I'll meet you outside afterward and we split the take. O.K.?"

  "I don't reckon that would be very fair to Little Nick and Blackie."

  "You kidding? Is it a deal or not? I can find another guy who'll be glad to work with me. You got to admit it's a deal nobody can beat."

  "Well," I said, "it's a right nice offer and I'm obliged to you for it, and—"

  "Somebody's coming," the feller whispered. "O.K. We got a deal. I'll see you at the table."

  He slid out of the rest room before I could say another word, so I couldn't tell him we didn't have no deal. I come out of the rest room and stood around watching the craps and trying to think what to do. If I went and told Little Nick or Blackie, that feller would get in trouble and I didn't want that. If I didn't do nothing at all, that feller would get tired waiting, and get somebody else to work the deal with him, and Little Nick and Blackie would lose a lot of chips. What I had to do was get them loaded dice away from him so nobody could use them again. There is a way to get rid of dice that I seen a feller use earlier that night. What he done was lose a stack of chips three times in a row and then get mad and put them dice on the floor and jump on them.

  That scarred up the dice and they had to be thrun out of the game. So that was what I had to do. Only I couldn't do it by getting the dice and betting on seven because I wouldn't do nothing but win, and folks would think it funny if I got mad and stomped on the dice. Well, I thought and thought about it, and finally seen the answer.

  I got back in the game and made a bet now and then until it come around my turn to roll. My feller that was stick man in the game raked in the dice that a feller had just lost, and picked them up and I reckon done a switch while they was in his hand, and give me a little nod and them loaded dice. All I had to do was fix things to lose three times in a row, and then I could tromp on them dice. I picked up two blue chips and put them on the place on the table where it said 2-3-12.

  My feller reached for them chips with his rake and said, "You made a mistake, Mac," and started moving them to where the betting map said LINE, which is where you make the regular kind of bet when you're rolling the dice.

  "No," I said, "I'm betting on two-three-twelve."

  "Bet 'em straight when you got the dice," the feller said.

  Down a couple places from me another feller said, "Let him bet on two-three-twelve if he wants. There's no law against it."

  The stick man didn't do nothing for a moment about moving them chips back, but a couple other people was speaking up and saying let the chips ride where I played them and let's get on with the game. So finally the stick man give me a queer look and put the chips back on two-three-twelve. I shook up the dice in my hand and thrun them down the table and reached for two more blue chips to bet on two-three-twelve on my next roll.

  But just then the folks around the table let out some yells and I looked at the dice, and dog me if they warn't staring back at me with a two which is snake eyes. Well, for a moment I didn't know what had gone wrong. Then I remembered the stick man saying that once in a while them loaded dice done some skidding on the green felt and come up two or three or twelve, so that is what they done. The stick man give me a long look before he raked in them dice. For all I knowed, he was wondering should he switch back to regular dice. I was watching him close to make sure nothing like that happened. But I reckon he decided I was afraid to win a lot right away on seven and had tried to thrun away my first bet and had won it by mistake. So he raked back the dice and give them to me. The cashier beside him who handled the chips counted out fourteen blues and put them down beside the two blues I had bet. I had forgot them two-three-twelve bets paid seven to one if you was right.

  "Bet them and roll," the stick man said, jerking his head at me in a way that said get them blue chips off 2-3-12.

  But if I done that, I would win the next roll with a seven, and I didn't want to win on them loaded dice. "Let them ride," I said.

  The stick man started to ask if I was crazy, but everybody around the table began telling him to let me alone because I was hot. So I rolled them dice again and they bounced off the end of the table. The stick man yelled "Cocked dice" and grabbed at them before they had really stopped rolling, but he had to reach across a big feller and that big feller took hold of his wrist and growled, "The hell they are cocked. Read 'em and weep, Bud."
/>   Well, the stick man read them and really was near about ready to weep, and I warn't too happy either. Them dice had come up Box Cars which is twelve. I had won again. The cashier started to count out a big pile of blue chips.

  "New dice!" the stick man called, and reached for them dice again.

  The same big feller that had grabbed his wrist the first time grabbed it again. "Take it easy," he said. "Let the guy who's rolling these babies say about that. Who do you think you are, killing a hot pair of dice?"

  "Nick!" the stick man yelled. "Blackie!"

  Little Nick and Blackie come up to the table, and for a couple minutes there was a big argument about getting rid of them dice. But the other folks around the table said it warn't fair to kill a pair of dice that I had got hot with. They said I had a right to three rolls with any pair of dice as long as the dice didn't go off the table or out of sight. A couple of them said if Little Nick and Blackie didn't want to get a bad name and lose a lot of business, they would let them dice stay in the game for a third roll. I kept saying I wanted to roll them dice too. The next roll had to come up seven, and my bet would be on two-three- twelve. I would lose and everything would be all right and I could tromp on them dice.

  Finally Little Nick mopped off his face with a handkerchief and said, "All right. Make your bet and roll them."

  I said, "My bet is on two-three-twelve and I am letting all them chips ride on it."

  Well, that started another argument. Little Nick said a bet like that was above the house limit. But the folks around the table said the house rule was any bet could ride three times without the feller that won having to drag down part of it. Little Nick mopped his face some more, which didn't do no good because by then his handkerchief was as wet as his face, and said Oh the hell with it and for me to go ahead and roll. So I rolled and watched for them loaded dice to come up seven.

  There was a yell that like to tear the roof off that building, and the dice come up three and there warn't no way to pretend I hadn't won.

  Little Nick said, "That's three rolls. These dice are dead." He grabbed them off the table.

  The cashier asked him, "What do we do now, Nick?"

  "What do we do?" Little Nick said. "We pay off, what do you think."

  "He's got one hundred and twenty-eight chips already, and I have to pay him eight hundred and ninety-six more," the cashier said. "I don't have that many here."

  "Collect them from the other games," Little Nick said. "The house is good for it." He waited while the cashier went around and got enough blue chips and counted them out and put them in a big bag and handed it to me. "O.K.," Little Nick said. "Nobody can say this house welshes on a bet." He turned and walked off.

  Blackie give me a nudge and said, "It's still your roll, Toby. What are you doing?"

  "I reckon I've done enough for now," I said. "I'll pass the dice and take it easy a while."

  Blackie shrugged and went off. The stick man warn't looking well, and he left the game and another feller took his place. I stood around watching the game and wondering what to do. I couldn't work up no interest in betting. I had already won near about all the blue chips they had, and if I done any more betting I might go on winning. It warn't easy to think out what I ought to do, because two or three girls was waving their eyelashes and crowding in on me, and when you have to start doing the times table in your head you can't think out other things very good.

  Blackie come back and whispered, "Little Nick wants to see you in the office."

  Me and Blackie went to the office. Little Nick was setting back of the desk, and Al and Carmine was in chairs each side of the door. The feller that had been stick man was standing by the desk, looking like there was places he would ruther be, if he could count on not getting there in a pine box.

  Little Nick give me a smile and said, "Sit down and let's have a little talk, huh?"

  I seen right away that the stick man was in trouble. I had helped get him in it, so it was up to me to get him out if I could. I set down and put the bag of one thousand and twenty-four blue chips on my lap. I warn't going to let on I knowed what we was all there for, and I said, "What will we talk about?"

  "These," Little Nick said, fishing out a pair of dice and rolling them on the desk.

  They come up snake eyes, so I reckoned they was the dice I had been rolling. "What do you know?" I said, making out like I was surprised. "Snake eyes."

  "Yeah," Little Nick said, "what do you know." He rolled them a few more times and they always come up two or three or twelve. "Now," he said, turning to the stick man, "give me that other pair."

  The stick man brung out another pair and give them to Little Nick. "Like to try them?" Little Nick asked me. "This pair always makes a natural. They're loaded. Both pairs are loaded. But one is loaded to come up seven, and the other pair is loaded to make the shooter crap out with a two or three or twelve."

  That was a real startling thing, because that stick man had told me he only had one pair of loaded dice which always come up seven except when they skidded on the green felt and come up two or three or twelve. I didn't know what to make of it. "Them two sets of dice could cause trouble," I said. "If I was you I'd get rid of them, on account of you seen what can happen."

  Little Nick rolled his eyes up like he was in church and praying. He give a sigh, and said, "Let's lay it on the line, huh? It turns out you're a smart cookie after all, because it takes a smart cookie to beat a con man at his own game. We're gonna level with you. Pete," he said, turning to the stick man, "give him the story straight and don't leave out nothing."

  The stick man come forward, "Jeez," he said, "I'm sorry about all this. I hope I can make it right with all you guys. This is my first night working here for Nick, see? Up to now I been over on the East Coast working in a dice joint. And those guys on the East Coast play rough, see? I got standing orders to pick out a sucker every night, and get him off alone and show him the dice loaded to come up seven, and get him to make a deal with me. He thinks I'm gonna run in those loaded dice so he can make a killing and split it with me."

  Little Nick said to me, "So tonight Pete grabbed you and made the same offer."

  "Right at the moment," I said, "I don't reckon I will say nothing."

  "Sure, play it cosy," Little Nick said. "Go on, Pete."

  Pete said, "What the guy don't know, when I make that offer, is he's being played for a sucker. Because when he gets in the game, I ain't gonna run in them dice that always come up seven. I'm gonna run in that other pair that he'll crap out with, and lose his bet. And just to sucker him good, I tell him that sometimes the loaded dice skid on the green felt and come up two or three or twelve. That keeps him from getting suspicious the first and sometimes even the second time he craps out. So he hikes his bet each time, and gets taken for a real package."

  I said, "That is not a very nice thing to do."

  "Don't feed us that stuff," Little Nick said. "It's just a case of a sucker trying to cheat, and getting taken. But that ain't the whole story. Go on, Pete."

  "The thing is," Pete said, "when I came here I was so used to working that racket I thought it would be part of my job to work it here too. So I didn't even ask Nick or Blackie should I work it. I wish I had. Because now I find out Nick and Blackie run a clean game and don't go for that stuff."

  Little Nick said, "You did it all on your own, and me and Blackie had nothing to do with it. Right?"

  "Right," Pete said. "And all I can say is, gimme another chance and you won't have no more trouble with me. I got a wife and five kids, see? I need the job. And it's a real treat to be working in a clean game."

  Little Nick said, "O.K., Pete, that's all. We'll let you know about your job. It depends on what Toby here decides to do."

  "Thanks, Nick," Pete said. "You're a prince." He started out of the room and then stopped and said to me, "Be a prince too, Mac. You can fix things so I get a break. Don't forget I got a wife and four kids." He went out of the room.

  Afte
r he had gone, I said, "Didn't that feller say the first time he had five kids and the second time he had four?"

  Blackie give his throat a clearing. "One of them died a couple months ago," he said. "Poor old Pete sort of forgets it now and then, and thinks he still has five when it's only four."

  "That is a real sad thing," I said, "and I hope you will give him a break."

  Little Nick said, "That depends on you. You heard the full story. I hope you beheve Blackie and me had nothing to do with it."

  "Oh, I never thought you did," I said. "I knowed all along that feller was doing it all by himself. I never told him we had a deal. All I was trying to do was to get them loaded dice off him, on account of he said they was his only loaded pair and if I didn't work with him he'd find another feller who would. If he had done that, you and Blackie would have lost a lot of chips. What I thought was them dice would come up seven three times in a row, and I would get on two-three-twelve each time and lose, and then I could act mad and tromp on them dice and get rid of them. When I started winning, I still thought I would lose on the next roll. I didn't have no idea he rung in another pair of loaded dice on me."

  For a little while nobody spoke up, but finally Blackie said, "I always heard you couldn't trim an honest guy in a con game. But I never worried about it because who would expect to run into an honest guy?"

  "You shoot your mouth off too much," Little Nick said to him. "I knew all along Toby was an honest guy. And being an honest guy, he's gonna play fair with us. Ain't that right, Toby?"

  "Oh, I always like to play fair," I said.