Feelin' the Vibe

by Candice Dow

  “Well, it was my old girlfriend and she wanted to come down to help out with the mission.”

  He chuckled nervously. “Devin, that sounds like bullshit. C’mon man. We’re either going to blow this whole thing or we’re going to come up with a strategy to combat it.”

  I huffed and paced in front of the car. Nicole hopped out. “Daddy, are you okay?”

  I shooed her back into the car.

  “Devin!” Curtis shouted. “What’s the deal, man? You seeing the chick or what?”

  “I saw her. She went to Nicaragua with me, but we’re not seeing each other anymore.”

  “So it was a one-time thing?”

  “Yeah, kinda.”

  “If you stand before the press with these half-ass answers, you may as well stop campaigning.”

  “We hung out a few times. I mean, she’s married and I’m married. We decided it was best to leave it alone.”

  “From what I can tell, they don’t have an ID on her. She’s wearing sunglasses in most of the photos. Do you think she’ll come out?”

  “Nah, I doubt it.”

  “We’re going to take the route that you were in Nicaragua on a mission and a volunteer from the States happened to stay in the same resort as you and it was a one-time thing. You and your wife were facing some problems at the time. Okay?”

  I kept wiping my face, hoping that somehow this would go away. More than myself, I worried about Clark. She would be shattered with this coming out now. I wondered if I should call her or try to contact her. Just as the thought crossed my mind, Curtis said, “Whatever you do, do not try to contact that chick in any way. No e-mail, no text message, and definitely no phone calls. We want to make sure she stays anonymous.”

  “I hope so.”

  “You need to come to the office to check out this commercial.”

  “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  I wasn’t sure I should take Nicole to the house first, because I didn’t want to see Taylor before I had all the facts. So Nicole and I headed down to the office. When I walked in, some of the volunteers looked at me with disappointed expressions. I told Nicole to play on one of the computers and headed into Curtis’s office. He was shaking his head. The commercial was loaded on his computer.

  It opened with me talking about the school system and at-risk kids. Then a voiceover came on stating my slogan: “Devin Patterson, the voice of the people, the voice you can trust.”

  A cracked image of Taylor and me displayed and quickly crumbled. Images of Clark and I hugging and kissing in Nicaragua piled rapidly on top of one another with a repetitive photo-snapping sound effect. The voiceover comes back. “How can anyone trust Devin Patterson, when his own wife can’t?”

  “Paid for by Ted Denorges for Congress. The voice people should trust.”

  That was a low blow, and I couldn’t imagine why these images would surface three months later. Who took the pictures? Clark and I intentionally didn’t take any pictures. My mind played tricks on me, and I wondered if Clark had a hidden camera and had sold these images.

  “Who knew you’d be in Nicaragua? I intentionally told the media you’d be in the Dominican Republic.”

  I shrugged.

  Curtis said, “It had to be someone close to you.”

  I didn’t have any enemies that would want to destroy me in this way. As I sat and thought of the few people who knew where I was, my chest suddenly caved in. “Shawna Dillon had access to the foundation’s intranet while we were planning the girls’ conference—which would also give her access to the contact information of the student volunteers.”

  Curtis laughed. “Why would she do that?”

  I blew out some hot air. She had probably never come on to him the way she came on to me. The look in her eyes on the day of the conference popped into my mind. And for someone so anxious to be a part of my campaign to simply fall off the face of the earth… surely she was involved. I wondered how much she paid the volunteer. I wondered how much they paid for the pictures. Some people will do anything for power, and my heart told me she was that person. Why didn’t I listen to myself? I decided not to attempt to convince Curtis, because he’d probably think I was tripping. Not to mention, he was the one who brought her on board. The damage was done and it didn’t matter who did it. What could I do to make it right?

  “Maybe she didn’t. Who knows? Maybe I’m just pulling at strings. What are we going to do?”

  Curtis looked at me. “It will start airing at midnight. So I suggest you go home and talk to your wife. The press conference is scheduled for nine. Whatever you gotta do or say to get her here beside you tomorrow morning, do it. Let’s go over the story again.”

  We got the story down. I met her in Nicaragua. My wife and I had a fight prior to leaving. We had a short affair and that was it. I was wrong. My wife and I made up. End of story.

  When I walked out of the office, Nicole said, “Daddy, do you plan on feeding me anytime soon?”

  I’d completely forgot that I hadn’t fed the child. We rolled up to Chick-fil-A. After I ordered her food, she said, “Daddy, do you have a mistress?”

  “What is a mistress, Nikki?”

  “It’s when you have a wife and a girlfriend.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “I watch Lifetime with Mommy,” she said.

  “No, Nicole. I don’t have a mistress,” I said, half-laughing.

  “Good, because nice guys don’t cheat.”

  I looked at her through the rearview mirror. “Exactly.”

  When we walked in the house, Taylor had just come in from the hair salon. She wore a pair of plaid shorts and a T-shirt. Her flip-flops clapped on the floor and the happy pace of her steps saddened me. “Hey, honey.”

  “Taylor, let’s go upstairs.”

  She frowned. She was still working on recognizing my emotions as she said, “Why? Let’s chill down here for a minute.”

  I shifted my weight onto one leg and looked at her. “Taylor, we need to talk.”

  “A’ight, then,” she said with a pout, and winked at Nicole like what’s wrong with him. Nicole shrugged.

  We headed up the rear staircase and my chest tightened with each step. When I cut the corner to enter the bedroom, Taylor said, “What is wrong with you, Devin?”

  I took a deep breath and plopped on the bed, patting the space beside me. Apprehension and suspicion covered her face and I began to speak, “Taylor, you know I was very upset with you before I left for Nicaragua.”

  “Why you going back to that? We’re doing better now.”

  “We definitely are, but I need to confess something. When I went to Nicaragua, I was really wondering if I wanted this marriage or not.”

  “I know, you told me.” Suddenly, I heard fear in her voice.

  “While I was there, I hooked up with a young lady and—”

  “Devin, don’t tell me you cheated on me.”

  I stared at the floor. “For that week, I did.”

  She shoved me and stood up in front of me. She pretended she was crying, but I didn’t see any tears. “Devin, how could you do that to me? Why?”

  “I was searching for something and I just didn’t know how to tell you what I needed from you. When I got back, I felt guilty and I knew I had to tell you what I was feeling. Trust me, I could have just walked out, but I tried to find the words to make this marriage work.”

  Still, she acted like she was crying. I began to feel if she really loved me, she would be crying. I watched as she was tried to force an emotion that just wasn’t there. “Devin, it’s not fair. Have you talked to her? Who is she?”

  “None of that matters. She is no one. It’s over and I haven’t spoken to her since I left Nicaragua. But someone sold some pictures to Ted Denorges’s campaign, and they plan to start running a commercial tomorrow.”

  Suddenly, the tears she had been summoning fell from her eyes. It wasn’t about me; it was the embarrassment that hurt her. I stood up to hug her and she
fought me.

  “I told you I didn’t want you to run for Congress. See, we can’t even deal with this in private. Now, everybody knows my husband cheated! Just drop out. Just drop out, Devin!”

  I backed away from her. She didn’t understand. I was in this thing until the end. It was the perfect out as she saw it, but I thought it was an opportunity to show perseverance. “Taylor, I will not drop out of this race.”

  “What are you going to do? The whole of DC-Maryland will know about my marriage.” She draped the back of her hand over her forehead as if she wanted to faint. Then, she starting pacing. “Devin, if you cheat once, you’ll do it again. I can’t sit here and take this.”

  “Taylor, please forgive me. I told you that I didn’t have any faith in our marriage when I left for Nicaragua. I’m sorry.”

  We went over and over the whole story. Who is she and why did you cheat? It lasted for almost three hours. Nicole knocked on the door several times to ask if I was okay. Finally, after I apologized and swore on the Bible that the woman was no one, she agreed to go to the press conference. She still wasn’t sure if she planned to stay, but she felt she owed me the support.

  * * *

  We dropped Nicole off at the camp around eight-thirty and headed over to the office. Despite my confusion as to why she wasn’t as emotional as other women whose husbands cheated, I was glad that Taylor looked like she hadn’t lost a minute of sleep. There were no bags under her eyes and she wore that priceless smile when we entered the office. Curtis looked more stressed than either Taylor or me. That brought me a little bit of humor. We went into Curtis’s office, because the press had already begun to arrive. I grabbed Taylor’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you.”

  “Whatever, Devin.”

  I decided it would be best not to address her opposition. She was here, and that was pretty much all I could ask for. When Curtis came to get us, suddenly my neck cramped up and my hands got clammy. Taylor look at me. “You okay?”

  “As long as you’re beside me, I’m fine.”

  Her support kicked into overdrive, as she rubbed my hand and forearm. “You’ll get through this.”

  We walked into the conference room together. I felt stronger with her beside me. We stood at the podium and cameras began to flash. Curtis opened the floor for questions. I followed the script as we planned. My wife and I had been through a difficult period. I had discussed this affair with her months ago and she had forgiven me. After thirty minutes of questions, it was a success. There were no arbitrary questions, and it appeared I’d squashed a lot of speculation. I looked at Curtis and he nodded, acknowledging that we were done. He said, “One last question.”

  He pointed to a female reporter, and she said, “Mr. Patterson, the young lady in the pictures—Mrs. Clark Anderson-Winston—is it true that you’ve had a ten-year on-and-off relationship with her?”

  Taylor gasped and the shocked expression amplified through the microphone. Cameras snapped in rapid repetition to capture the surprised look on her face and the dumbfounded look on mine. I stumbled over my words. “I, um, I, um—”

  Curtis stepped up to the mic before I incriminated myself. “The young lady in the photographs has not yet been identified and out of respect we’d like to leave it that way. Thank you very much. The floor is closed.”

  Taylor stormed out first. “You’re a damn liar. I don’t believe you,” she screamed loudly as she headed to the front door.

  I ran after her. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

  “They know something. They obviously know something!”

  Several reporters and cameramen spilled out of the room, following and filming our tirade. When I realized we had an audience, I stopped in my tracks and watched her rush out the front door. They ran behind her and tried to ask me questions. I looked up and saw Curtis heading to his office. He’d given up, leaving me out there to survive among the sharks. I shoved the reporters out of my way and headed to his office. Taylor had given me all the reason in the world to go off with Clark, but Curtis had done nothing but bust his ass for me this entire campaign. I opened his office door and he stared aimlessly out of the window.

  When he saw me, he started shaking his head. “It’s over. We blew it.”

  “It’s not over, man. It’s just a bump in the road.”

  He threw a small canister of paper clips against the wall, probably to avoid banging me in the mouth. “Why the hell didn’t you tell your wife everything?”

  “Shit, you told me to do what I had to do to get her here. I got her here.”

  “Now you look like a damn liar. Everyone knows you didn’t tell your wife the truth!”

  “And so what! People aren’t voting for me because I’m faithful. They’re voting for me because I’ll represent.”

  “Who are you fooling, man?”

  We both were yelling at the top of our lungs. Veins bulged from Curtis’s head. I had not only destroyed my dream, I’d destroyed his, too. I took a deep breath, because I couldn’t risk losing him, too. “Look, man. We just have to regroup. Even if I have to stand up there as a lying adulterer, we’re going all the way.”

  “Get out of my goddam office.”

  “Curtis, you’re just mad, man. I’m sorry.”

  “Devin, you’re a fuckup. I quit.” He pointed to the door. His nostrils flared. “Now, get the hell out my office while I pack my shit.”

  He was fuming, and his head looked like it would burst if he looked at me any longer. I got up and walked to the door. I rushed outside, prepared to struggle with the media, but they were all gone. I jumped in the car, and not until then did I realize Taylor wasn’t in there. I called her over and over again. Still, no answer. I got out and walked around the parking lot. Where the hell did she go?

  I sent her a text: WHERE ARE YOU?

  She responded: GONE. COURTNEY CAME TO GET ME.

  My next call was to Clark, and she didn’t answer. I needed to warn her what was about to transpire. I left an urgent message. Then I called Jennifer.

  “Jennifer, I need you to come get Nicole.”

  “You’re supposed to bring her back in next week. What are you talking about?”

  “Jennifer, I’m in the middle of a political scandal. I don’t want Nicole to be in the middle of this.”

  “What happened?”

  I wanted her to stop asking questions and to just come get her. I would explain everything later. But she continued to shout, “Devin, tell me what’s going on.”

  “My opponent is airing a commercial showing pictures of me with another woman and calling me an adulterer.”

  “Well, are the pictures real?”

  I gasped, loudly. “Jennifer!”

  “Devin, I just want to know what’s going on.”

  “Yes, Jennifer. They’re real. I cheated on Taylor a few months ago, and it has come back to bite me in the ass. Will you come get Nicole for me, please? It’s just not the place for her to be right now. I don’t want her in the middle of this.”

  “Devin, I don’t believe you. Who were you with?”

  “Why does that matter? Don’t ask me any more questions. I’m going through enough right now.”

  “Don’t yell at me, Devin.”

  “Jen, c’mon. I really need you.”

  “I wouldn’t be there for at least three hours, even if I leave now.”

  “Well leave now and I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.”

  I drove around for a while before I went in the house. When I walked in, I searched the house for Taylor, but she was still missing in action. I left my cell phone on the kitchen table and went downstairs to the home theater to clear my mind. Sitting there in the dark, I yelled loudly. I was regretting everything, leaving Clark, marrying Jennifer, marrying Taylor, thinking I could turn back the hands of time.

  41

  CLARK

  It took about two weeks before employers started calling me back. It seemed like once one company was intereste
d, the interest became contagious. After the first call, I started getting multiple calls a day. Although I was reluctant about returning to the engineering field, I was happy somebody thought I was worthy. I spent several years in a project manager’s position before leaving. Considering I’ve managed a group home for over five years, I guess a good manager is a good manager, despite the field.

  So Kenneth and I spent a lot of time in the house fielding calls. The time off and sitting in each other’s faces gave us the chance to get to know each other again. He had opened up and became more compassionate. He was now open to adopting. After I told him about the baby in Nicaragua, he promised me that we’d go get him as soon as this case was over. And of course, I’d have to change his name.

  I had just made us lunch when my cell phone rang. After I put Kenneth’s sandwich on the table, I looked at the phone. DP popped up on the screen and my heart sank. I quickly set the phone back down. Kenneth said, “Who is that?”

  “Um, I think it’s a company.”

  I wasn’t sure why I said that, because my home phone number was on my résumé. He didn’t question it, though. When it beeped, signaling a new voice mail, I nearly peed on myself. I missed Devin and I yearned to speak to him, but Kenneth needed me and I had to be here for him.

  I put the phone in my sweatpants pocket and went upstairs, telling Kenneth I’d be right back. I rushed into my bedroom and the home phone rang and startled me. I peeped at the caller ID. It was a Prince George’s County number, and I assumed it was an employer. I yelled downstairs, “Take a message for me, baby.”

  I stood in the middle of my bathroom and called my voice mail. “Clark,” Devin sighed heavily. “I hate to tell you this because I know you’re dealing with your own stuff, but your name was leaked in an attack on me. So just be aware and be careful. Don’t admit anything.”

  He hung up and I was confused. How was my name leaked? What did they know? Oh, my God, how would this affect him? Without thinking, I called him back. Over and over again, his phone continued to go to voice mail. I began to sweat everywhere. It was hot. I fanned myself and paced the bathroom floor. Please, Devin, call me back. I needed to hear from him.