Resurrection Pass

by Kurt Anderson

  I believe thou art back.... I believe it. But, hombre, thou wert a long way gone.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice seemed out of place in this room. “I went away, not just from you, but from everyone. Myself. I’ll try not to do it again.”

  He held onto her hand, remembering again that first night they had met, the night of the swirling snowflakes in Rice Park. The way she drank her coffee, the way her eyes, so bright and dark, had watched him as he spoke, the sudden flash of her smile. That had been the first time he had seen her, and he closed his eyes now, feeling the tears coming down and making no effort to brush them away, just letting them course down his cheeks. It wasn’t fair. She should still be here, should still be flashing him that brilliant smile. Perhaps they would still be reading to each other, late at night, edging into middle age but still holding on to the best parts of their youth. Yet he had been lucky, so lucky, to have the time he had with her. That part had been more than fair; that part had been a blessing. A miracle, even. And miracles, like nightmares, were part of his life.

  He sat with his head down, his palm warming her hand. After a while he heard footsteps behind and he turned, his eyes red, wiping at his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt.

  The nurse who stood in the doorway was an older white woman, plump, with a kind face. She held a scanner of some sort in one hand. “It’s okay,” she said in a quiet voice. “Take your time saying good-bye.”

  Jake placed Deserae’s hand back on the bed, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. He straightened.

  “Thank you,” he said. “I’m good.”

  “You sure?”

  He smiled at her and moved through the doorway. Jake Trueblood walked past the red and blue painting, nodding at it as he went. The light coming through the windows suggested it was late evening, not quite sunset. Yes, he was good, as good as he could be at this moment. He was also done with saying good-bye, at least for a while. Now it was time to say hello, and he knew exactly where he was going to start.