Calico Horses and the Patchwork Trail

by Lorraine Turner

  “Barn? Why a barn?”

  “Well, I was kinda wanting to adopt….”

  “Oh, no, not this horse talk again. I can’t possibly adopt a horse, Carrie. I can barely pay for a house for us let alone a home for a horse.”

  “But I have to find a place for Cricket or someone else will get him,” Carrie said, crying softly.

  Brenda shook her head. “Who’s Cricket?” she asked in disbelief.

  “He’s the most adorable little foal at camp and his mom was killed and he’s an orphan and please, please say yes,” blurted Carrie, her tears overflowing.

  “How did our talk about a new house turn into this?”

  “Well, I wasn’t planning on asking you now, but you said you wanted me to tell you what I wanted. This is what I want!” Carrie said as she blew her nose.

  “Oh, Carrie, my new job starts in a week and you start classes in a new school soon. We have to decide where we’re living. A horse just doesn’t fit into this conversation. Not today. Maybe later but not now.” Carrie crumbled into tears and began sobbing uncontrollably. Brenda held her daughter and looked off into the distance. A few birds landed beside Carrie and tilted their heads as if wanting to comfort her.

  “Don’t you get it, Mom? All my meditations about Calico Mountains and Calico horses and us moving here are all connected. You even told me I was special and that I was getting some kind of messages,” she cried. “Well, this is the message, Mom. I think I’m supposed to rescue horses.”

  Brenda didn’t reply but sat there thinking about what Carrie had just told her. She was not in a position to adopt a horse and she didn’t want to seem insensitive to Carrie’s feelings about her meditation messages or her dreams; no one really knew what they meant.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything, Mom? What else could all of it mean? I started having those dreams in New Jersey before I even knew anything about any horses or mountains. Geez, and what about all that calico fabric just appearing out of nowhere.”

  “You are special, Carrie, of course you are, and I know you feel it’s somehow connected. This is all such a big mystery but the reality is that I can’t afford a horse. Maybe someday but not now. I just can’t do it. It’s out of the question—period.”

  “So that’s your answer? Even after all I told you about what I think this means? Great, Mom, then you pick the house by yourself. I don’t care what happens.”

  “Oh, come on—don’t try to pin this guilt on me, Carrie. We came here to make a decision about a house, not a horse, and you know it.”

  “You came here to make me think you wanted to hear what I have to say but all you care about is you,” Carrie said, crying harder.

  Brenda raised her voice, “That’s not fair, Carrie, and it’s not true. Just because I can’t afford a horse doesn’t mean I’m insensitive to your wishes. To tell you the truth, this is exactly why parents don’t talk about this stuff with kids. This is the very reason why we make decisions without discussing it because when it comes to paying for all the stuff you kids want, we’re the ones stuck doing all the work.”

  Carrie shot her mom an angry look and stopped crying. She wiped her tears on her sleeve and looked away. Brenda blew her nose and stood to signal the end of the conversation. Carrie still felt hurt and she didn’t want to end the conversation; she wanted Cricket and she felt her mom should somehow make the money work no matter what. What in the world was her mom talking about? What did she mean by stuck with all the work? Carrie would be the one taking care of the horse, not her mom. She was the one going to camp, she was the one learning how to clean stalls and feed horses. Geez, none of this made sense. “I never said you would be doing all the work, Mom,” she said.

  “This discussion is over,” Brenda said. “I don’t want to hear another word about a horse.” She walked to a water fountain nearby, while Carrie sat watching her, not knowing what to do. How had all of this turned out so badly? How did it all go from her being included in the choice of where they would be moving to this? She got up and followed her mom to the fountain.

  “So that’s it, Mom? Discussion over?”

  “Yes, Carrie. I’ll call the realtor when I get back and tell him I need more time to think about this, but I’ll be making the decision alone. I’m the one who has to decide what we can afford on my income. Maybe someday when you’re older you’ll understand what all of this means. I thought I could try to include you in this house-picking thing, because when I was a kid my parents never talked to me about any decisions. When I asked for something they couldn’t afford they would just shrug and tell me money doesn’t grow on trees. So that’s what I’m telling you. No, we are not adopting a horse. If you want to discuss something else, I’m all ears, but I’m through feeling guilty about all of this.”

  “I wish I lived with Daddy,” Carrie shouted as she turned and walked away. She was so angry she felt dizzy.

  Brenda closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. She knew Carrie was just saying something to hurt her…and it did. Is this why so many parents caved in and bought their kids anything they wanted? Did they feel guilty about putting their kids through the pain of divorce and just bought them things beyond their budgets? Well, maybe they did, but not me, thought Brenda. If I let her have a horse, I won’t be able to pay for food, clothing, or a place to live. Nope, horses cost money, lots of money, and until it started growing on trees, well, Carrie would just have to see them in her dreams.

  Chapter 62

  Sam smiled as she tacked a postcard onto the lobby bulletin board. Max watched from his usual perch on the landing and Lance the chef stopped to admire the little card. “I got one, too,” he said, scratching his head. “I can’t believe they went to Australia.”

  “Can you believe them, Lance? Who would have thought my parents, who rarely saw anything outside of Reno, would become world travelers?”

  “I envy them. I don’t think Australia would have been my first choice, but getting out and experiencing new things is what I’ve always dreamed of.”

  “Think you’ll ever do it?” Sam asked. “I mean, if you were like my parents and had the chance, would you take it?”

  “I’m not sure. Whenever I save up a little extra there are so many things that always seem to need fixing. Travel is a luxury I can’t afford but I always read books about faraway places, wishing I could visit them. Don’t we all?” he asked.

  Sam looked at the little postcard and imagined her bulletin board filled with photos from around the world. Would she take the chance if it came along? Kelly came into the lobby carrying her duffle bag filled with sheet music and looked up at the postcard neatly tacked in the center of the board. “Looks just like the one I got,” she said, “and it helped me make a decision I’ve been putting off for years.”

  “Huh, what decision? What are you talking about?” Lance asked.

  “I have relatives in Italy who have invited me so many times I stopped counting. That little postcard got me to thinking and I picked up the phone and called them. I’m going to stay with them in Sienna, Italy. Can you believe it…me in Italy?” Kelly said, looking at her two astonished co-workers.

  “Just like that?” Sam asked in disbelief. “When?”

  “The first two weeks in October. I already bought the plane tickets.”

  “I think this is the first time you’ve ever taken off, aside from a few days here and there. You’ve never gone anywhere, have you Kelly?” Sam asked.

  “Nope, and it’s about time. Your parents’ little card was the reminder I needed. Life is short and I need to get off my duff and go do the things I’ve always wanted to do.”

  “Wow,” said Lance. “You’re going to Italy. That’s fantastic and I hear the food is incredible. Good for you, Kelly. Now you’re making me hungry. I’m going to cook something special this morning,” he said, hurrying off to his kitchen.

  Kelly was humming an Italian tune as she sat down at her piano. Sam looked back at the little card on the bulleti
n board. Yep, photos from around the world; soon there would be another one from Sienna, Italy. Will I go somewhere someday? she wondered. People come from around the world to visit Nevada and some end up right here in my little B&B. How did they do it? Lance said he wasn’t able to travel because of things that needed fixing. But if that were true we would never see new places, Sam thought. The bell on the door rang and some guests arrived with suitcases. Kelly walked over to greet them as Sam went back to her office.

  “Hi,” they said. “We have reservations. We’re the people from Virginia.”

  “First time to Nevada?” Kelly asked.

  “First time anywhere,” said the man. “All my life I wanted to see the West and, well, here we are.”

  Here you are, thought Sam, and I bet all those things that needed fixing will just have to wait.

  Sam worked through the day uninterrupted until Brenda tapped on her door. She looked up and motioned for her friend to grab a seat. Brenda seemed agitated as she waited for Sam to finish her telephone conversation. Sam pointed to her coffee pot and Brenda shook her head, politely refusing. Max came and sniffed Brenda’s shoes. Sam hung up and waited for Brenda to speak.

  “Got a minute? I could really use a friend.” Brenda watched as Max poked his head inside her purse.

  “Max, shoo. Get away from Brenda’s purse.”

  “Look all you want, Max. It’s empty anyway,” Brenda laughed.

  Sam shut off her computer. “Want to take a walk?”

  “Can we stay here? I don’t want my daughter to hear us.”

  “Oh,” said Sam, leaning back into her chair. Another dilemma with a ten-year-old, she thought. I’m no expert when it comes to kids and divorce so maybe it was time for Brenda to talk to a pro. “Listen Brenda,” she said, stalling, “I’m always here for you to talk to but I don’t even have kids. I’ve never been married and I don’t know how I can help.”

  “I don’t mean to bother you with this, Sam, but I’m ready to pull my hair out with Carrie.”

  “Have you thought of counseling?”

  “You mean like a shrink? I can’t afford that and even if I could, is she really that bad?”

  Sam sipped her coffee. “Well, maybe you can contact the school. I know they have counselors who might be able to help.”

  “Will they help me deal with a kid who wants a horse?” asked Brenda as she watched Max facing a corner staring off into space.

  “A horse? Are you kidding? The kid wants a horse now?” asked Sam, laughing.

  “I would think it was funny, too, if I weren’t dealing with the aftermath of telling her no,” Brenda said. “What the heck is that cat staring at? He looks like he is watching something invisible.”

  “You think so, too? He does this all the time and I swear he is looking at a ghost or something.”

  Brenda looked all around her. “You do think this place is haunted, don’t you?”

  “No, not haunted. Nothing like that, it’s just that sometimes he just goes into a kind of trance.”

  “Maybe cats meditate,” Brenda said, giggling. Max turned his head, blinked, and continued staring into space.

  “I cannot believe Carrie wants a horse, but I guess it’s understandable. After all, you did send her to a horse camp,” Sam chuckled.

  “Oh, and now it’s my fault? If I remember correctly you thought it was a good way for her to make friends.”

  “Hey, all I’m saying is that she’s obviously fitting in and her wanting a horse is natural. Look, Brenda, she’s happy as ever now. No more crying, no more dirty looks. She has friends at camp and soon she will be going to a new school.”

  “That’s the problem. That’s what I’m dealing with. She’s angry at the world. She thinks all of her dreams and meditations were to rescue horses from the Calico Mountains. Now I’m the bad mother who won’t let her follow her life’s mission to adopt orphaned horses,” Brenda said in exasperation. “I also have to decide where to live. Do I pick something close to Milla’s neighborhood? We both know kids’ friends come and go. Do I move to Reno where it’s close to my job? I’m just not certain anymore. All I know is that my new job starts soon and my shifts will be long and there won’t be much down time so I need to figure this out now,” Brenda said as she paced about the small office.

  “Why not just stay here?” Sam asked. “I don’t see why you have to move at all.”

  “But that was the plan; remember months ago when I first called you? You said, ‘Stay here temporarily until you find your own place,’” Brenda reminded her friend.

  Sam twirled a pencil and looked at Brenda. “Yes, true, I did say that—but now that you’re here and you’re about to start a new job and all, well…why rush into another major move?”

  “Are you sure, Sam? Flannel and Max are not the best of friends and my daughter, well…” Brenda didn’t bother finishing her sentence. They both knew it wouldn’t be easy. Carrie was adapting to the separation and divorce the best she could and living in the little bungalow was not the same as having her own home.

  “Yes, I’m sure. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. Sometimes in life we have to re-examine our decisions—hold them up to the light and see if they still fit.”

  Brenda let out a sigh. “Thinking about moving has been so stressful, Sam. I think it would be great to just stay put and get my feet on solid ground.”

  “Good,” said Sam, “I was actually hoping you would stay.”

  “Really? I thought my dog and kid were driving you nuts.”

  “No, I like having you here. I thought it would be hard getting used to having a kid around, but she’s really special and Max is starting to adjust to your collie. Besides, my piano player taught me an important lesson today.”

  “Kelly? What lesson is that?” Brenda asked as she slipped off her sandals.

  “Life is short. You sometimes have to look twice at your decisions and if they need changing, you change them. It’s as simple as that.

  Brenda gave her best friend a hug. Max, who had been curled up under a chair, opened one eye. The two women looked out the window to watch as Carrie walked Flannel to her training spot. The girl kicked at a rock and moped along with her head down.

  “She’ll get through this,” Sam said. “I think she’ll be happy with your decision.”

  “Yeah, I guess. But one thing is certain—I’ve been thinking about Kelly’s lesson and you’re right. Sometimes when we reexamine our options we make changes, and sometimes we don’t. So about that horse? I’m sticking to my guns.”

  Chapter 63

  “So you’re not getting a horse?” Shannon asked in disbelief.

  “Nope,” Carrie replied.

  “I can hardly hear you…where are you anyway?”

  “I’m in my bed under the covers. I don’t want my mom to hear me.”

  “Oh.”

  “So, anyway, Mrs. Burke was on a radio show talking about our camp and she told everyone about the foals that need adopting,” Carrie explained.

  Shannon nodded. “Well, that’s a good thing, I guess. You told me that you were learning how to help the baby horses get ready for their new homes, right?”

  “Geez, you sound just like my mom. Who’s side are you on, anyway?” Carrie asked as she rolled onto her stomach creating a large mound under her bedspread.

  “Yours, of course, but I’m trying to figure this out. I know your mom said you couldn’t adopt a horse and all. So do you really think all the dreams and stuff were telling you to adopt Cricket?” Shannon asked as she twirled her hair around her finger.

  “Don’t you? What else could they mean? I saw calico mountains, calico horses, and then I saw some black goo at the end of the dreams. I think that black part means something awful is going to happen.”

  Shannon flopped down on her bed. “Like a warning?”

  “I don’t know, I just think I’m supposed to save these horses or something like that.” Carrie peeked out from under her blankets to make
sure she was still alone and then popped her head back in.

  “Save them from what?” Shannon asked. Are they in danger?” She kicked her legs as they dangled off the bed.

  “Well, they get hurt in the round-ups and stuff. Some of the foals that come to the center are babies of the moms that get killed. It’s awful, Shannon, and it’s sad and I think my dreams are connected.”

  “My dad showed me some stuff about it on the computer. But you’re only one person and there’s lots of horses, Carrie—how can you save them all?”

  Suddenly, the line was silent and Shannon worried the phone was disconnected. “Hello, hello…Carrie, are you still here?”

  “Yeah, I’m still here. It’s just something you said….Oh, wow, Shannon, you just made me realize there’s much more to this. Oh, my goodness! I was thinking I was supposed to adopt one horse but I think you’re on to something,” Carrie said. Her excitement was growing and she threw off the covers not caring if her mother could hear her.

  “Huh, on to what? I’m not following you. All I said was that you’re only one person and there’s lots of horses.”

  “Exactly! Remember I told you that I thought I was somehow talking to a horse spirit?” Carrie said.

  “Yeah, that’s freaky.” Shannon got up to close her bedroom door.

  “Well, this horse spirit actually told me something that I hadn’t really understood. Wait, let me get my journal…hang on.” Clump, bump went the phone hitting the floor. Shannon slumped into her beanbag chair listening to Carrie rummaging through drawers on the other end.

  “Okay, here it is. I’m always hiding my journal so my mom won’t snoop.”

  “Yeah, I do that, too.” Shannon looked over at her secret spot behind her bookcase.

  “Remember I told you about this? Here’s what I wrote:

  ‘My story is the story of all—we are one.’ And I asked, ‘Are you saying tame or wild, the life of all horses are the same—they are all one?’