Blind Hearts and Silenced Passion

by Anya Byrne

  V froze, her already fair skin going so pale it was almost ashen. "Ah."

  "Is that the only thing you're going to say?" Dread asked in the same voice, apparently unaware of the wound in his shoulder. "You disappoint me."

  At this point, V seemed one step away from eviscerating Dread, even if he was obviously not at fault here. "Is that right? Then I'd better change my behavior accordingly."

  Baqir didn't know what would have happened had his mate not stepped in, but to be fair, he himself would have stopped Remy had he realized what his mate had in mind. His only warning was a burst of firm decisiveness coming through their bond, even as his mate grabbed the seal from the table, dropped it to the floor, then brought his foot down on top of it.

  Some sort of instinct had Baqir moving and reaching for Remy. It wasn't that Remy was far from him, but his speed had taken Baqir aback and everything was happening far too quickly even by werewolf standards. Meanwhile, Remy's actions drew V's attention from Dread and her eyes went wide with panic. "No, don't!" she shouted.

  It was too late, and Baqir grabbed Remy's arm just as his mate crushed the seal under his heel. A wave of power swept over the room, throwing both Remy and Baqir back. Baqir twisted midair in an attempt to wrap himself around his mate. For that reason, he took the brunt of the magical blow.

  His world exploded into heart-stopping pain, an agony so strong he couldn't even scream. It would have been easier to handle had it been physical, but that was not the case. His mind threatened to shut down as an overwhelming whirlpool of emotion flooded his consciousness.

  In a weird way, it reminded him a little of the moment he had claimed Remy. Just making the comparison seemed wrong, but the intensity of what was happening could not have a different match. It was like a twisted version of the mate link. Baqir tasted terror in his mouth and felt disgust flay his skin. The poison of hatred bled through his veins, and guilt and rejection pierced every inch of his body.

  He was no stranger to negative emotions. For the better part of his life, they'd been his closest companions, although he had always put up a front and hid every single one of them under his carefully cultivated mask.

  There was no hiding this, or rather, from this. His wolf whined and shied away, trying to escape—but whatever magic has struck him was stronger and even more ruthless that silver poisoning.

  Through his bond with his mate, he felt Remy trying to reach for him. There was nothing Baqir would have liked to do more than to accept that offer and that love, but he couldn't afford to—couldn't share this burden, not when he knew how much it would hurt Remy. Still, just the fact that Remy was there soothed him beyond belief. The memory of Remy's touch and his taste tamed the negative emotions, anchoring him to sanity and to life.

  He held onto the knowledge of what they shared with all of his might. At one point, his decisiveness faltered, and he felt his mate wiggle his way past his defenses.

  He tried to will Remy away, to protect him from the wicked magic, but it didn't work.

  "It's okay," Remy whispered in his mind. "I'm here. You're safe. Come back to me. You're safe. Come back to me, Qiri."

  Remy kept repeating that, over and over, until Baqir had no choice but to believe him. How could he doubt his mate, after all? The bond they shared was stronger than any spell, went deeper than any feeling of hatred and disdain could ever reach. Remy had seen his heart, and still loved him, had still wanted them to be together. That knowledge gave Baqir courage, and at last, he reached out to his mate—and opened his eyes.

  The first thing he saw was the ceiling. He instantly registered the temperature and idly noted that he was no longer in V's office.

  Instead, he seemed to be lying on a soft bed, with sheets so fine that contact with them didn't hurt his still aching skin. But leaving aside all these details, the most important thing was that his mate, his beautiful lover, was seated by his side, holding his hand in a grip that managed to be both gentle and fierce.

  Remy gasped when he saw Baqir stir. He shot to his feet with such abruptness his chair fell back to the floor. "Baqir! You're awake."

  Baqir managed a smile for his mate's benefit. "You didn't think a little thing like that trinket could put me down, did you?"

  He'd have probably been more convincing had he not sounded as weak as a newborn pup. Then again, his mate already seemed very aware of Baqir's condition.

  "You were out for five days," he whispered. "We... I thought you were going to die."

  Baqir didn't tell his mate that he'd have gladly given his life it it meant Remy could live. He could already see Remy hadn't come out of this unscathed. The guilt bubbling in Remy's beautiful eyes was more toxic than the wicked poison that had quite likely ended the lives of so many of Baqir's men. His clothes were wrinkled and torn in some places, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn't slept, changed—or done much of anything really since the incident with the seal.

  The last thing Baqir wanted was for Remy to torture himself over this. "I'm fine, and it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen."

  Remy's eyes filled with tears and he collapsed to his knees next to the bed. "That doesn't excuse it. I should have guessed, been more cautious, found another solution."

  To Baqir's mind, the circumstances hadn't allowed for too much cautiousness, and really, at the time of the seal's destruction, Remy couldn't have imagined things could get any worse. On his part, Baqir believed that Remy had likely made the right choice, but for the moment, he did not know what else had happened after he'd been knocked out.

  "I'll be all right," he reassured his mate once again. "But what about Dread and Blanchefleur?"

  As if on cue, V stepped out from the shadows. Baqir narrowly managed not to roll his eyes at her dramatic entrance, but only because it had become more than clear that he needed to play nice with this woman.

  "I managed to shield myself and your companions to some extent," she answered. "However, they were already affected by the seal and its destruction caused some... imbalance."

  "Imbalance?" Baqir repeated. "I don't... I don't understand."

  "As I said before, a succubus circle holds great power, manipulating a person's thoughts, emotions and sometimes even their consciousness. However, the magic's effects are not beyond perception in the physical body. A succubus circle attacks the nervous system, causing certain hormones to go out of control and thus making it possible for you to feel extreme pain or fear without further stimulus."

  Baqir's mind flashed to his people and the way they had been killed, their inexplicable condition. He remembered Reynard's puzzlement over what seemed to be the use of a date rape drug. Had another such artifact been involved? It certainly made sense, since he and Reynard had tried to come up with other explanations and failed every time.

  His blood froze in his veins at the realization that his mate had been completely unprotected and could have been killed before they'd even met. It was terrifying to even consider, that he could have experienced such loss and not known about it. His pain and weakness ceased to matter, all of his focus now on Remy's safety.

  "What does that mean, for us, for Remy?"

  "As I said, your mate is for some reason immune. Given that he held the seal for so long in his possession, its energies attached themselves to his emotions, which is why it reacted differently to each individual. As for Dread and Blanchefleur... Their situation is more complicated. This episode has reminded her of the loss of her mate, and thus, she has become unstable. I deemed it wise to summon her son here and have him spend some time with her, to reassure her. Your other companion had a brief stint of incoherence, but has since recovered."

  She hesitated slightly, and Baqir knew there was something she was not telling him—not that it was very difficult to see. "But?" he prodded.

  V sighed heavily. "Your friends will not experience any long term discomfort or aftereffects because of their interaction with the seal. However... I am not sure
you will be in the same situation."

  Remy made a pained noise, but he didn't seem terribly surprised. Undoubtedly, V had already warned him with regard to these possible consequences of the magical accident—since to Baqir's mind, it had been an accident and not something Remy should blame himself for.

  "What exactly is the problem?" he asked. "I don't feel any different."

  Remy squeezed his hand tighter, and as if on cue, something shifted underneath the blankets. Alarmed, Baqir shoved off the material, only to realize he now had a tail.

  This, in itself, might have not seemed necessarily alarming, or even unusual. After all, Baqir was a werewolf. The tail sort of came with the territory.

  However, as a rule, werewolves didn't randomly grow such extensions of their bodies when they were in their human forms. Certain parts of them could change in moments of extreme emotion, but such incidents only targeted things like claws, fangs, eyes, or occasionally, a brief spattering of fur. The tail only ever appeared when they completely shifted.

  Baqir took a deep breath and focused on his inner wolf. He struggled to pull back his beast, to contain the part of it that had manifested without his permission.

  It didn't work. When he looked up once again, his tail was still there, twitching, as if taunting him. Remy shot him a tremulous smile. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for any of it to happen."

  As he spoke, he reached for Baqir's head and patted it gently. Baqir twitched, at which point he realized there was another unusual thing about him.

  "I have wolf ears on my head, don't I."

  It wasn't really a question, but Remy nodded nonetheless. V smirked at him. "Don't worry. You look very cute."

  "Cute," Baqir repeated. He looked from V to Remy, and then finally accepted his fate. "I suppose there are worse things a silencer could be."

  He grabbed Remy's arm and pulled him onto the bed, half because he could no longer withstand the distance Remy had put between them and half to see if he could still do it. Remy yelped, but didn't resist, instead going along with Baqir's demand. He curled against Baqir's chest, calming the sense of uncertainty that had settled within him ever since he'd awoken—or perhaps, for far longer than that.

  V gave them an inscrutable look. When Baqir just stared back and caressed his mate's hair, she nodded—an incomprehensible gesture—and then finally let herself out of the room.

  For the longest time, Baqir just lay there, listening to the sound of Remy's breath and his heartbeat. At one point, Remy started to play with his tail, and much to Baqir's shock and embarrassment, his body responded.

  He tried not to let it show, since the last thing he wanted now was to make Remy feel compelled into anything sexual. It was a losing battle—the bond they now shared guaranteed it. Still, Baqir couldn't really bring himself to regret it, not when Remy looked up at him, his eyes dancing with mischief.

  "It looks like you're going to be all right after all."

  "Told you so," Baqir replied, barely managing to suppress a wince at the strangled sound of his own voice.

  "That you did." Remy's smile softened. "I suppose I should trust you more."

  Baqir tangled his fingers with Remy's own and kissed his fingertips. Right now, he believed that Remy trusted him—he just didn't trust himself. Remy had gone through some tough times, experienced things that had shaken his self-confidence pretty badly. And Baqir knew that he was supposed to comfort Remy, to make sure his mate didn't receive anymore blows, but he couldn't really help being aroused by Remy's touch and proximity.

  It would have probably progressed into something sensual had an unexpected twist not interrupted them. Remy suddenly went very pale, his eyes widening with an odd sort of panic. He pushed away from Baqir, practically stumbling out of the bed.

  Alarm shot through Baqir. "Remy? What is it?"

  Remy didn't reply. On obviously shaky legs, he rushed to the bathroom. Seconds later, the sound of retching echoed in the room, reaching a now terrified Baqir.

  Despite his previous weakness, he was already on his feet and following his mate. He got there just in time to see Remy try to get up, only to drop to his knees again in front of the toilet and throw up once more.

  Baqir was torn between the urge to get help for his mate and the need to be there for him. In the end, Remy made the choice. In between gasps, he called out Baqir's name. No sooner had he finished the second syllable than Baqir was kneeling next to him, rubbing his back, whispering whatever comforting nonsense he could come up with.

  There were two possible explanations for this situation. The first was that Baqir had failed in protecting Remy from the backlash of the spell. That didn't seem to be the case, however, since V would have likely mentioned it. Five days had already passed since then, and even if Baqir didn't fully trust V—her outburst, however justified, had sort of triggered the entire debacle—he suspected she would have noticed and acted to make sure the problem was fixed. Further, Baqir now realized that a very important tidbit about his mate bond with Remy had completely slipped his mind.

  Baqir genuinely did not know how he could have forgotten. He didn't usually make such serious errors. In the past, he'd always been able to put his mind in order and analyze all the available information with utmost efficiency.

  Meeting Remy had shaken him so much that he hadn't remembered something vital to them both. Two male werewolves could conceive as long as they were mates.

  Baqir had seen proof of this more than once, not only in Alpha Maximoff's mate, but also in his own brother's relationship. And granted, Erdi's mate was not a shape-shifter, but it still counted, and he still should have remembered, especially since protecting his unborn niece or nephew had become of utmost importance for him.

  If his math was right, a good week had passed since he and Remy had first had sex. Baqir was not in the least bit certain on how this male pregnancy thing worked, but he thought that if the child had been conceived that night, it would not be too early for Remy to experience the first symptoms.

  Remy seemed to realize all this as well, because the moment his stomach stopped rebelling, he turned toward Baqir. He was still a little pale and his hair was sweaty, but his eyes held a mix of determination and dawning horror. "I think... I think we might have forgotten about something very important," he said, echoing Baqir's exact thoughts.

  Baqir wanted to say they couldn't possibly be sure about something like this, but Remy knew that too. The fact that it had occurred to both of them at the same time was no coincidence. In truth, they should have thought about it from the very beginning, but they'd been distracted by other matters—and now, here they were, confused, frightened, and very much not ready for what this meant.

  Baqir took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He had never believed he would become a father, but then, he'd never believed he'd find a mate either. They could deal with this. They just needed to take things one step at a time.

  "Okay. First of all, we need to get you to a doctor. After that... We'll see."

  Remy nodded wordlessly as Baqir helped him to his feet. Judging by his expression, Remy was already quite convinced of what they'd learn once they looked into this.

  As for Baqir... For the first time in his life, he felt adrift. His priorities had changed. He'd already been angry and concerned about what was happening, but now... Now he had so much more to lose. And the worst thing was that he still didn't have any idea how they could stop their faceless foe. Where did that leave him?

  He didn't know, and it frightened him.

  Chapter Eight

  "You mean you didn't know?"

  V's surprised question cleared up any doubt Remy might have had regarding his suspicions. He'd felt off for the past couple of days, incredibly emotional and prone to outbursts of temper, but he'd blamed it on Baqir's injury, his part in it, and quite possibly, the succubus circle. Clearly, he'd been mistaken.

  "We didn't have too much time to discuss the details of our relationship," he adm
itted. "I just... It didn't occur to us."

  He expected V to scoff or roll her eyes at them, and he would not have blamed her if she had. It was a pretty big thing to miss, and Remy still couldn't figure out how he'd been so self-centered and not thought of the consequences of his actions.

  V simply smiled, as if knowing something they did not. "It's understandable, I should think. Both of you were taken aback, and my guess is that the last thing you had in mind the day you met was children."

  That was the understatement of the century. Remy's love life had not been exactly stellar after he'd lost his eyesight. He and Dread had shared a relationship of mutual convenience, but it hadn't lasted, and after that, there had been no one else—until Baqir. And now, here they were, with a baby on the way, and still very few answers on the topic they'd come here to handle. Not to mention that his lack of knowledge had led him to endangering his child. Moon only knew what would have happened if Baqir hadn't stepped in.

  Baqir must have been thinking something similar, because he asked, "Is there someone who can check Remy over? I'm concerned about his involvement in the incident from before."

  "You're in luck," V replied. "There is someone, and she is coming here, although the reasons for this visit did not originally involve this part of your request. I'm sure she wouldn't mind making sure Remy's pregnancy is going well."

  Baqir seemed intrigued, but also somewhat suspicious. Remy could not blame him. So far, their trip to the States hadn't gone that well, and Baqir was likely disinclined to trust V's word. "Can I ask who this person is?"

  "You can ask, but that doesn't mean I'll tell you," V replied. "I'd rather wait until she's actually here. I assure you there's no reason to be wary."

  Baqir was clearly not convinced, but he didn't protest. For his part, Remy believed her. He'd spent more time with V than Baqir and she had helped him tend to Baqir's injury. He did wonder why she had not summoned the healer until now, but he supposed she would tell them. "Thank you," he offered. "We appreciate your help with this."