by Emma Davies
‘I know,’ he said finally. ‘We’ll go tonight.’
He leaned forward across the table and she did the same until their noses were just touching. ‘I’m sorry, I’m such a pain in the arse,’ he murmured. ‘But I do love you, Flora, and I promise when things have calmed down a bit I’ll make it up to you.’
Her stomach rumbled as she walked Ned to the door to say goodbye. Neither she nor Hannah had been able to stomach anything to eat after returning from the hospital and she knew she wouldn’t stop to eat now. Ned wouldn’t be back until teatime and she had the whole afternoon ahead of her. She wasn’t sure what time Hannah would appear, if at all, but no mind, she knew exactly what she was going to do with the intervening hours. She snatched up her mug from the table and marched through into the sitting room, looking around her with an appraising eye. And then she set to work.
There were three reception rooms on the ground floor of the house, but although the smaller of the two sitting rooms was perhaps the nicest room, sadly it had no fireplace so wasn’t suitable for what Flora had in mind. The dining room, however, was never used and would be large enough to accommodate a bed, two if Hannah wished to sleep in the same room as Fraser, a couple of chairs, and at least one chest of drawers. To make the arrangement work would mean moving most of the dining room furniture out and into the other rooms, but with a bit of shuffling, Flora was convinced it would all fit.
An hour later she had squeezed the table and chairs from the dining room into the second sitting room, and ferried the remaining pieces of furniture into new homes elsewhere. All that was left was a huge oak dresser and matching sideboard which were far too heavy to move, but once tidied or possibly emptied would provide Fraser with some storage space for any clothes, underwear and other personal things he might want around him.
She crossed over to the sideboard and pulled open a drawer; the topmost one from a set of four in the centre between two cupboards. It was full of cutlery. Drawers two and three seemed to be full of cloths, napkins, and old placemats, while the bottom one housed an assortment of candles, napkin rings, old playing cards and what looked like the novelties from long-ago Christmas crackers. She was certain that none of it would be needed for now.
During her earlier assessment of the rooms she had spotted a large oak blanket box in the main sitting room which, partially covered with an embroidered cloth, was doing service as a coffee table. She quickly went to check and was pleased to find it empty apart from some very old magazines which had probably been shoved in there a long time ago and promptly forgotten. There was more than enough room to stash the contents of the drawers in there for now.
She got to her feet and was about to make a start when she heard the back door bang.
‘Halloooee!’
Caroline’s voice was unmistakeable.
Flora rolled her eyes but put on a smile and went to greet her.
‘Oh, goodness, Flora, you poor thing. However are you all coping?’ She came forward to give Flora a hug. ‘Why don’t I make a nice cup of tea for us both. I’ve just seen Hannah down in the village, so I know you’re all on your own. I expect you could do with the company.’
Flora, who didn’t want company at all, gave a weak nod. ‘That’s very kind, Caroline, but I’m actually sick of the sight of tea, I’ve drunk that many cups of it over the last day or two. You go ahead though, I don’t mind if you’d like to stay and have one. I was just in the middle or rearranging some furniture for when Fraser gets home.’ The last thing she needed was a heart-to-heart with Caroline.
She received a sympathetic look. ‘It seems impossible that Fraser could even be in hospital, he’s always seemed so strong, but for them to send him home again after only a week when he’s had such a major operation—’ She stopped suddenly and cleared her throat, a slight look of alarm crossing her face for an instant. ‘Oh, I, er, met Ned coming through the yard, he filled me in on how things are…’
‘So I see…’ Flora couldn’t help herself.
‘I was on my way over, obviously, just to see how Fraser was doing, how you’re all doing. Ned mentioned how amazing you’ve been, looking after everyone.’
Flora ignored the last comment. ‘No, well, it’s early days, but he’s through the worst now. Moving forward is what’s important, for everyone. Things aren’t going to improve overnight, but every day will be better than the last and soon Fraser will be back to normal.’ Even if she wasn’t sure this was the case, Flora made damn sure her face said so.
Caroline’s brow wrinkled a little. ‘Oh, I hope so, after all this it would be desperate if Fraser had to sell the farm.’
‘What on earth makes you think he’d have to sell the farm?’ The comment had caught Flora completely off guard and her voice rose as she replied. ‘I don’t think that’s even been considered, nor should it be.’
A hand fluttered to Caroline’s chest. ‘Oh, no… I didn’t mean. Oh goodness, this has got all of us in quite a tizz, hasn’t it?’ She reached out a hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Flora, I didn’t think what I was saying. Of course that won’t be necessary, I was just thinking silly thoughts, but Fraser will be fine, I’m sure of it. I guess it was seeing Ned so stressed just now, you can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen. Under the circumstances that’s hardly a surprise.’
‘No, he’s having to work harder than ever at the moment, but that won’t be for long. Besides, I’m going to be helping him out once Fraser is settled back home.’ She held Caroline’s look, at a complete loss to know where her last statement had come from. She hadn’t even considered the possibility before. Perhaps she should have… ‘And then as far as we’re all concerned Fraser will just pick up where he left off once he’s able to. A few things will have to change in the short term, but…’
Caroline was nodding heartily. ‘Yes, yes, of course. Well, that is good news, I’m so relieved. And you mentioned you’re getting things ready here for when Fraser comes home. I expect that will be a huge help to Hannah, but let me know if there’s anything I can do, won’t you?’
Flora was on the verge of refusing when it suddenly occurred to her there was something which Caroline could help with after all. She smiled to herself. A rather wicked smile.
‘Actually… You could give me a hand with something if you wouldn’t mind?’ She motioned for Caroline to follow and led her into the dining room. ‘I hope you’re feeling strong?’
Caroline stared at the virtually empty space, a hand at her throat. ‘Goodness, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this room changed in all the years I’ve been coming to the house.’
‘No, well, Fraser’s never had a heart attack before either, but he’s going to need somewhere on the ground floor for a few days once he’s home. There are far too many stairs up to his and Hannah’s bedroom and it’s right the other end of the hallway from the bathroom. This will make a perfect bed-sitting room though. It’s right opposite the downstairs cloakroom too, and of course next to the kitchen. Plus, it’s the only room in the house apart from the kitchen that we stand any chance of keeping warm.’
She gritted her teeth. For goodness’ sake, Flora, shut up, you don’t need to justify yourself.
‘But for what I had in mind, it would be better if the sideboard were shifted along a bit so it’s closer to the dresser.’ She pointed. ‘But it’s too heavy to move by myself so it’s lucky you came along just when you did.’
Caroline gave her a wary smile. ‘Oh, I see… well I…’
‘So if you could just grab that end there, it won’t take a moment.’
She watched with an amused expression while Caroline deliberated the possibility of either not being able to manage the task requested of her, or looking like a complete fool while she was doing it.
‘I’ve already emptied the cupboards so it shouldn’t be too heavy.’ It would be, it was a dead weight, Flora knew that. She did pause to wonder quite why she was being so wicked when all Caroline had done was pay a friendly visit, but whenever
they met there was just something that Flora couldn’t quite put her finger on and today she wasn’t in the mood to pretend otherwise. She moved to take up her own position.
‘Thanks so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
There was a slight lip on the top of the sideboard which made it a tad easier to find something to hold onto, but it was still only a finger-width wide.
‘We might just have to shuffle it over bit by bit, let’s see how we go. Ready?’
Caroline nodded, still fidgeting with her grip.
‘And lift!’
It took an absolute age as they walked the sideboard along the wall inch by painful inch, which was all Caroline could manage before she had to put it down again, and, by the time they had it more or less in situ, Flora was glowing slightly. Caroline, though, looked positively scarlet and a small strand of the low bun she favoured when she was riding had come loose and, for some reason, seemed to be annoying her inordinately. She tucked it crossly behind her ear once more, standing straighter and blowing out her cheeks.
‘I really think we should have taken the drawers out or something,’ she huffed. ‘It would have been an awful lot easier.’
Flora clapped a hand to her head. ‘Oh, God, you’re right!’ she said, turning away to hide her grin. She stood back to survey the positioning of the piece. ‘Never mind, it’s done now. Ah, that looks so much better.’ She motioned to the empty space. ‘Everything needs a bit of a clean, but we can put the beds there, coming this way, the table in between and an armchair in the corner.’
‘Yes, I suppose,’ answered Caroline. ‘Although it does seem weird seeing the room like this. In fact, I can’t remember when it was last used. Almost certainly at Christmas, but it would have been years ago; Ned and I were considerably younger, that I do know… And I seem to remember that Ned did suggest once upon a time that this be used as a more cosy sitting room, because of the fire, but of course Hannah wouldn’t hear of it. I’m not sure why this room is sacrosanct but I’m glad that Hannah has come to her senses; this would seem a much better use of the space under the circumstances.’
‘Sacrosanct…’ faltered Flora. ‘I didn’t know that…’
‘I think it’s something to do with the dining table. Her mother’s maybe? I can’t quite remember. But I guess it doesn’t matter much where the furniture is at the end of the day, just that it’s still around.’
Flora could feel her heart sinking. The dining table. The one she had dragged unceremoniously down the hallway and hidden behind a door in the other room. But there was absolutely no way she was going to let on to Caroline that she hadn’t even asked Hannah about moving the room round. They had sort of discussed it the other day, and even if Hannah hadn’t actually agreed to it, it would still be a nice surprise, wouldn’t it?
She nodded and rubbed her hands together as if they were dusty. ‘Right then, did you want a cup of tea, Caroline?’
But Caroline shook her head, scowling as she inspected a manicured fingernail which hadn’t taken too kindly to manhandling furniture. ‘No thanks, I’d better get going actually, but I’ll try and visit Fraser tonight. I expect he could do with seeing some friendly faces.’
‘No—’ The word was out of Flora’s mouth before she could stop it. Caroline looked up sharply.
Flora winced. ‘Sorry, what I meant was it would be better if you didn’t go this evening… or possibly for a couple of days actually. Ned hasn’t seen his dad yet, but apart from that, Fraser’s not really up to visitors at the moment. He’s still in intensive care for one, but I also think you might be better to wait until he’s a bit more…’ Flora still couldn’t get the image of Fraser from this morning out of her head. ‘…He looked awful, Caroline,’ she said bluntly. ‘You’d hardly recognise him.’
She wondered whether Caroline might take offence at being contradicted but to her relief she looked more grateful than anything.
‘No, well then, I’ll wait. Maybe even until he’s home. I don’t… well I don’t really do illness, I…’ She broke off and shuddered. ‘I’ll get going then and let you get on. Give my love to everyone, won’t you?’ She edged towards the door. ‘And I’ll see myself out, don’t worry.’ She was almost out the door when she suddenly paused and turned. ‘You know, you really should come riding with me tomorrow.’
Flora looked up, horrified. ‘Oh, I don’t think…’
‘No, you should, honestly. A few hours out in the fresh air, instead of being cooped up in the house, worrying about things.’ She looked Flora up and down. ‘You’re looking peaky actually. I think it would do you the world of good.’
‘It’s not really a good time, Caroline, and I don’t ride, I think I mentioned that before, and—’
‘Then it’s the perfect opportunity to learn. I can see how stressed you are and with everything that’s going on you need to look after yourself too, Flora – have a little bit of “me” time.’ She patted the side of her hair. ‘I’ll pick you up at eight tomorrow which will give us plenty of time.’
‘Yes, but the hospital…’
‘Oh, we’ll be back well in time for visiting, don’t worry.’ She backed out of the door. ‘I’ll see you then!’
And then she was gone, leaving Flora standing in the middle of the room, her heart sinking rapidly. She had no desire to go riding, not now, and certainly not with Caroline. She heaved a sigh and stared around the half-empty space. As if she didn’t have enough on her plate. What on earth was she going to do with the room?
She had honestly thought she was helping by trying to create somewhere more suitable for Fraser, but now she was seriously questioning her motives. She knew how much Ned’s mother hated change, particularly when it included any alteration to the domestic arrangements, so why hadn’t Flora included her in her decision making and chosen to do it on an afternoon when Hannah was around? Was it to do with the fact that she didn’t want to spend the afternoon alone with her own thoughts? Or because she wanted to be the one who was holding everything together in a time of crisis? Was she trying to carve a role for herself as the perfect prospective daughter-in-law and would-be wife as an alternative to the life she wanted, the one that was slipping away from her? But if not that, then what? Where would she go, if not here? No money, no home. She shook her head angrily. No, she mustn’t think like that. This change was for Fraser; it was the right thing to do.
She crossed to the sideboard and yanked open the top drawer, pulling out the wooden box that held the cutlery. She had started now so she might as well finish, and if Hannah hated what she’d done, then she’d just blooming well put the room back to how it was before, and Hannah could come up with something. Flora carried the box through into the sitting room and, removing the cloth from the blanket box, opened it up to lay the cutlery inside. Then she doubled back and collected the bottom drawer to repeat the exercise so that all that was left to do was move the tablecloths and other linens and Fraser would have several drawers at his disposal.
She reached inside the drawer and lifted a handful of the cloths, pulling them out towards her. They were heavier than she’d anticipated and she felt something slip from within. Trying to stop it from sliding with her knee, she realised it was a file of some sort, which must have been wrapped inside. But with her hands full she was hampered and she watched helplessly as it crashed to the floor. It landed edge on, bounced slightly, and out slipped a sheaf of papers which fluttered in all directions.
Damn.
Dropping to her knees, Flora set down the linen and picked up the blank cardboard file. Darting a look to the door, she began to pick up the loose papers, anxious to retrieve them as quickly as she could. Whatever they were, they’d obviously been hidden from someone, and she didn’t want to be the one caught with them. As she gathered them together, she couldn’t help but notice that they looked a lot like bills, and she quickly averted her eyes before she could be accused of snooping.
Carefully stowing them back in the file, she
made sure all the pages were face down, and arranged them neatly so it wouldn’t look like they had been rifled through. Then she wrapped them back up again inside the bundle of cloths and carried them through into the living room.
Another half hour or so later and she had manoeuvred an upright armchair into the corner of the room and even found a small side table which could sit beside it. A lamp completed the trio and she gave an affirmatory nod. She didn’t even know if Fraser liked reading, but he would need something to occupy him over the coming weeks, and now at least he had somewhere to sit which would either have good light from the window during the day or be a cosy spot of an evening.
All that was needed now was to move the beds in here and Ned could help her with that later. She gave the room one last look. It was the best she could do for the moment. Later on, when Fraser was home, she’d put some flowers in here of course, and Hannah could bring some of his personal things if he wanted them, even some cushions and a throw for the chair. It would be warm and comfortable, but more importantly, close to them. She tried to regain some of the feeling she’d had earlier when she first started; a positivity. But it was gone. Since Caroline’s visit she’d started questioning her motives, and now there was no denying she had meddled, plain and simple. And in doing so she had seen things she wasn’t supposed to see, and given Hannah twenty different reasons to be annoyed with her.
She closed the door quietly behind her as she left.
‘What have you done with my table?’
They had already been eating dinner for ten minutes or so and the question came out of nowhere. Flora almost choked, looking across at Ned, but he hadn’t seemed to notice anything untoward.
Flora had heard the front door close just as she was checking on the pie for tea some half an hour earlier and she’d braced herself for the inevitable questions. But it wasn’t until she was spearing a carrot to check if it was cooked that she’d heard a creak on the stairs and realised that Hannah had gone straight up to her room. Had she not even seen the alterations in the dining room? Or, thought Flora ominously, has she seen them and chosen not to comment?