Dazzled

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

My face was frozen, my upper lip curled in a snarl. Bitch-face was touching him!

  Then I let the disappointment wash over me. He was with her now. Not me. It was never going to be me. And I couldn’t blame him.

  Miles

  Rhonda chewed my ear off all the way back from the police station. I knew I owed her big time for getting Paulini to drop the charges, but I just couldn’t listen to the whole speech she was giving me about how to ‘spin’ the story.

  I was slightly annoyed that Clare wasn’t with us, but she’d just shrugged and said she was getting a ride with Polly, one of the PAs. I wasn’t sure if that was her decision or Rhonda’s.

  I couldn’t wait to get a shower and feel clean again. Having someone else’s puke on your clothes – as well as being seriously gross – really puts a downer on the day.

  The limo drew up at the hotel, and once we’d climbed out, Rhonda grabbed my arm.

  “Don’t fuck up again, Miles,” she ordered, jabbing her stubby finger into my chest. “Your Get Out Of Jail Free card has now expired. Do we understand each other?”

  “Yeah, sure, Rhonda. Thanks for coming up here. I really appreciate it.”

  I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and ran up the stairs to my room.

  The shower felt amazing and I was reluctant to leave, but I was hungry, too. I wondered what Clare was doing.

  I was only half dressed in a pair of jeans when I heard her knocking on my door. I yanked it open, a huge grin on my face. But it wasn’t Clare – it was Lilia. And she was crying.

  She launched herself at me and started sobbing into my chest.

  “Lilia, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”

  “I was so w-w-worried,” she spluttered. “Were you okay in prison?”

  She’d been worried about me? Wow.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, and it was just the police station. Maybe if I’d murdered Paulini I’d be in prison.” My joke bombed, and it seemed to make her cry harder. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m fine. Really.”

  I wrapped my arms around her slim shoulders, and rocked her gently. She smelled so good, I couldn’t help dropping a soft kiss into her long hair.

  And that’s when it happened.

  She smiled up at me, and tightened her arms around my neck. Her lips just looked so damn kissable, I couldn’t help myself.

  She gave this little gasp and I felt her lips open, her tongue pushing into my mouth, sliding against mine.

  And bloody hell! Suddenly, her hands were all over me, scratching down my back, stroking my chest, and when she hitched her left leg over my hip, I automatically reached down to hold it in place.

  Her short skirt rode up her thigh, and as I palmed her leg she made these little whimpering moans. The sound went straight to my dick, and I was grinding against her before I knew what I was doing.

  She pulled away abruptly, but her smile was blinding.

  “We have to stop, Miles,” she breathed. “Everyone’s waiting for you downstairs. If we don’t make an appearance soon, everyone will assume we’re… you know.”

  I knew she was speaking, but the words weren’t connecting with my brain, and my arms refused to let her go.

  She gave this little giggle and pushed against my chest.

  “Miles!”

  “Oh, shit, sorry! Oh, God, I’m so sorry, Lilia!”

  I sprang away from her like I’d been electrocuted. What the fuck was I thinking? Oh right, I hadn’t been thinking. Not with my brain.

  I’d already grabbed a t-shirt and was tugging it over my head, when I heard her soft voice.

  “I’m not sorry. I liked it.”

  I turned around and gaped at her.

  “You… you did?”

  “Sure,” she said, her eyes sweeping up and down me. “And if it weren’t for the fact that the whole crew wants to shake your hand and buy you a drink, you wouldn’t be putting clothes on right now.”

  A slow smile crept across my face.

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes, that’s right,” she said, the challenge slipping from her face as I took two quick paces toward her again.

  This time I kissed her the way I wanted to, and I wasn’t the only one getting carried away. She rubbed her hand over my crotch so hard, I was glad I was wearing jeans, otherwise she’d have done some serious damage. But, yeah, it felt good.

  I hadn’t been with a woman since, jeez, Melissa, and that was five months ago. Maybe more.

  My hands slipped down to Lilia’s glorious arse, and she squealed when I picked her up so her legs were wrapped around my waist, and walked backward to the bed.

  We fell in a heap with Lilia underneath, but I was careful not to crush her with my weight. I felt her hands fisting in the back of my t-shirt and her teeth grazing my neck.

  “We can’t!” she gasped. “Everyone is waiting!”

  “Screw ‘em,” I mumbled into her hair, kissing my way down her neck.

  She pushed my shoulders, and very reluctantly, I rolled onto my back.

  “I… I don’t want to rush things,” she said, quietly.

  I sighed. That was fair enough. And anyway, there was no point making it obvious to the crew. Whatever this was. Her life was tough enough already.

  She took a deep breath. “I think we should join the others.”

  “Yeah, okay, give me a minute.”

  But lying on the bed with her next to me wasn’t really helping with the whole cucumber stuffed down the pants look. I tried to adjust myself but gave up. I pushed off the bed, staggered into the bathroom and stuck my head under the cold tap.

  The sudden shock of water helped cool me down.

  I toweled dry and watched as Lilia sent a text on her phone.

  “Ready to go?”

  She looked up, surprised to see me watching her.

  “Oh, sure,” she said, flushing slightly.

  We rode the elevator to the ground floor in uncomfortable silence. I didn’t know what to say to her – it was almost like I’d imagined the last ten minutes.

  Eventually she spoke.

  “Don’t say anything to anyone, will you, Miles?”

  I frowned. “Course I won’t.”

  “Not even Clare.”

  “What? Nah, you don’t need to worry about her – she’s cool, Lilia.”

  She made a little huffing noise, and I glanced down to see her scowling. She looked gorgeous when she did that.

  But after her speech, I was more than a little surprised when she suddenly grabbed hold of my arm as we went outside to catch up with the rest of the crew.

  I was so fucking happy when I realized Jo-Anne was there, and clearly intending to get back to directing duties.

  “Hey, Slugger!” she called, a shit eating grin on her face.

  “Blimey, Jo-Anne! How are you?”

  She pointed to her sling with her good hand, and raised her eyebrows. “Better than you by the sound of it.”

  I shook my head.

  “Nah, I’m fine now. But I’m going to cover you in bubble wrap so you can’t get hurt again.”

  “I didn’t know you were into kinky shit, Miles.”

  I gave her a big smile and winked at her. I saw Clare watching us out of the corner of my eye.

  “Hey, Milton! What’s up?”

  “Nothing much, you tosser. Hanging around police stations – same shit, different day.”

  She threw her arms around me, and I lifted her off the floor in a tight hug. “Admit it – you missed me!”

  “Never did!” she snorted. “I just didn’t have anywhere else to be – it was either the beauty salon or the police station. I chose the path of least resistance. At least you don’t smell of vomit now.”

  “You missed me,” I insisted.

  “Might have,” she muttered.

  I gave her a big sloppy kiss and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help smiling.

  Working Girl

  Miles

  The rest of the shoot was f
ucking fantastic. After my run-in with Pencil Dick, I was even more appreciative of Jo-Anne. But it was still tiring so Lilia and I couldn’t spend as much time together as I’d have liked.

  I’m not saying that acting isn’t a pretty cushy number, because it is compared to my mum working 45 hours in a supermarket each week, but after a day on set, which could include night shooting – a form of torture in itself – I was too tired to even watch TV.

  When we had nearly a week of night shoots, I lived off espresso shots. I think if I could have mainlined the caffeine I would have. I didn’t say anything, but I had a feeling that Lilia might have done some speed to keep her awake. But hell, it could have just been killer quantities of Red Bull, so I kept my mouth shut.

  Clare was her usual grumpy self, but it was a hard week for everyone, and trying to sleep when it was bright sunshine and 90F outside was almost impossible. We were all totally wasted by the weekend.

  “Oh my God, I’m so tired,” yawned Clare. Everything aches. Even my backside is tired and all I’ve done is sit on it.”

  “Want me to rub it better?”

  She blinked then flipped me off.

  “What, no answer?” I grinned at her. “No sassy come back?”

  “You should worry!”

  “Why’s that?”

  “When I tell you to bugger off, it’s a sign that I care, but when I’m quiet…”

  “What?”

  “It’s a sign that I’m plotting your death.”

  “Aw, don’t say that – you love me really!”

  “You’re skating on thin ice, Stephens.”

  “Now, now you two!” laughed Jo-Anne. “You can’t beat him up until we’ve finished principal photography and the film is a wrap.”

  Clare raised an eyebrow. “Then I can beat him up?”

  “He’s all yours,” smiled Jo-Anne.

  Everyone laughed, even though we were exhausted. Clare was great at keeping the mood positive.

  Even once the night shoot was over, it was tiring as well as boring – with all the hanging around. Luckily, I had a stand-in for all the lighting set ups, camera angles and stuff. I struggled a bit with having to be able to turn the character on immediately after a long wait – I could see why some actors stayed in character, because it was hard to switch it on and off. But honestly, what sort of a dick would I have sounded like if I insisted on being called ‘Nuriel’? Clare did it sometimes, but that was just to piss me off.

  And I ate my food from a different truck – going to the front of the queue, which I really hated – so mostly someone would get me a drink or a sandwich. It was usually Clare.

  She said she didn’t mind, and that as my personal assistant it was her job. But it was useful, too. She picked up a load of gossip as she wandered around the set – who was sleeping with who, and who wasn’t but wanted to.

  Despite all the adjustments, the weirdness, and the long hours – I loved it. But what surprised me the most was that Clare seemed to love it, too.

  “I can see why you like this, Miles, I sort of get it now. It’s like…” and she chewed on a thumbnail while she searched for the words, “it’s like the connection of… people, of being human or something. Does that make any sort of sense whatsoever?”

  “I think I know what you mean: it’s belonging, but it’s an escape, too.”

  She sighed. “If it weren’t for all the other stuff,” and she waved her hand around, “you know, the media crap, stylists, and all that – yeah, I sort of get it now.”

  I shook my head. “That’s just a distraction. I love that we’re creating something here. Everyone coming together – what we create is greater than the sum of what we put in individually.”

  Clare stared at me.

  “What? I’m not allowed to have deep thoughts because I’m just a shallow actor?”

  “I never thought you were shallow,” she said, and a strange expression crossed her face and was rapidly gone. “So, are you ready with the new dialogue?”

  Without telling anyone, Jo-Anne and Clare had been tweaking my speech on one of the key scenes in the film – the one where Nuriel tells Esther that he’s in love with her. I’d been stressing over it, because it just didn’t work in rehearsals. Clare had made some suggestions and they were brilliant, but we’d had to keep it quiet because there was a writers’ strike going on, and Jo-Anne would have been in the shit if anyone had found out that the work wasn’t hers.

  I was sitting in my trailer, going over the scene again, when I was called to the set. Lilia’s dialogue would be filmed separately and cut in later, so for now, I had to deliver my epic speech declaring undying love straight into a camera lens. I think that’s what they call acting. Yeah, I know, but I needed somebody to react to.

  “Um, Jo-Anne, could… um… you know, it would really help me if Lilia was standing behind the camera reading her lines, just so…”

  She frowned. “She’s getting into costume, Miles. You’ll have to make do with Clare.”

  Shit. That was going to be weird, declaring my undying love to Clare. If she laughed at me, it would be so fucking humiliating.

  “Clare, can you stand behind camera one, please? Do you have the script?”

  I was surprised to see that Clare looked almost as embarrassed as me, but she took her place and gave me a thumbs up.

  Okay. I could do this.

  “Mark it… cameras rolling… action!”

  Clare’s voice came out in a dull monotone. “What do you want to say that’s so darned important, Nuriel?”

  “I think I understand now – I really do.”

  “What do you understand?”

  “God wasn’t punishing me, when he sent me to Earth, I mean. I thought that was his reason, but I was wrong. How could he have been punishing me when I met you? I’ve learned – so much. Because of you. You. You’re the reason this all makes sense. You’re everything. You’re my forever. I love you.”

  There was a long silence then Jo-Anne cleared her throat. “Wow, Miles. In one take. That was awesome.”

  “Really?”

  I glanced over at Clare. She looked like she was about to cry. I had no idea why. Was it that bad?

  Clare

  The rest of the shoot was going well. If you didn’t count the unseasonal torrential rain that washed away half the set, of course. Oh, and Bitch-face drooling all over Miles in the most obvious and disgusting way. But at least no one else had been arrested, although I was still contemplating assault on her scraggy arse.

  And there was this writers’ strike that meant there wasn’t anyone available for rewrites on the set. Apparently that happens quite a lot. I mean, the rewrites, not the strikes. We didn’t say anything, but Jo-Anne had helped me to tinker with some of Miles’ dialogue on a couple of the scenes. As far as everyone else was concerned, Jo-Anne had made the changes. It was easier that way.

  And it was obvious to everyone that Miles and Lilia were screwing. I mean, soooo obvious.

  I knew Miles well enough to read the signs, but that wasn’t necessary because the way that crotch-faced slut draped herself all over him, it made me sick to my gut. I wanted to bitch-slap her from the moment I woke up in the morning, to the moment I fell asleep at night. As well as in my dreams. Obviously.

  I couldn’t believe that Miles had fallen for her act. Okay, I could believe it, because Miles never thought anything bad about anyone. But I knew, I knew that it was all part of the career game to her. I knew she didn’t really care about him.

  And oh dear, just look at all those photographs of the two of them that just happened to have been leaked to the press. Well, goodness gracious, how did that happen? Coincidence, my arse!

  I was pretty certain that Lilia was behind the photographs and gossip that they were an item, but she must have had help from somebody – I just wish I knew who it was. Despite the fact that cameras had been banned from the set after the Pencil Dick incident, along with all cell phones, the pictures kept on appearing. Jo-An
ne was furious, and security was tightened, but it didn’t seem to make much difference. The gossip mill was grinding away at full speed.

  The headlines said things like:

  Lilia in Love

  Heavenly Bodies

  Divine Intervention.

  And one particularly nauseating header: Angel wings and butterfly kisses.

  Jeez. Who wrote this rubbish?

  But now it was the day I’d been dreading – the sex scene.

  Filming was going to take place on a closed set, so I wouldn’t even get to see what was happening until the rushes were shown in the evening. And I wasn’t sure if I was pleased about that or not. Did I really want to see Miles pretending to make love to that skank? No, not really, but at the same time I didn’t trust her skinny butt any further than I could spit.

  Miles was hyped up and anxious as we sat in Mildred’s makeup trailer.

  He’d had to take his clothes off an hour beforehand to eliminate any red marks. I mean, sock lines just aren’t sexy – not even David Gandy can get away with that. Although I probably wouldn’t be looking at his ankles, should the opportunity arise.

  The CGI people could get rid of any imperfections later, but it was expensive to do – or so I was told. Which was the reason why Miles was wearing a thin, cotton robe that was open to his waist, and Mildred – who was almost old enough to be his grandmother – was drooling onto her makeup brushes.

  “This is going to be seriously weird,” he muttered. “Fuck, what if I get, you know… what if I get a boner?”

  Oh, just shoot me now.

  “Honey, all you’ve got to worry about is if you don’t,” said Mildred.

  “What?” croaked Miles, sounding shocked.

  “What?” I echoed, sounding homicidal.

  Mildred smiled.

  “Actresses have huge egos along with huge inferiority complexes – if you don’t plant a redwood while you’re thrusting, she’ll take it as a rejection.”

  “Please tell me you’re joking, Mildred!” begged Miles.

  “Sorry, sweet cheeks,” she said, not sounding sorry at all.

  I wanted to shove her makeup brushes where the sun don’t necessarily shine.

  Luckily for her, Mildred snuck out to get a coffee, and I was left trying to calm Miles.