Dazzled

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  Thou newly ravish’d groom of stillness

  Thou descending stone-like sternum,

  Child of Nazi Hilda.

  A vivid valley between moreish mounds.

  The faultless form of your Pectoralis,

  Crowned with rosy buds.

  A golden trail of happiness

  Leading to the Promised Land.

  Such wild ecstasy.

  And the memories flooded back. His touch, his kiss, his arms around me.

  And the sex!

  I mean, I was an English literature student and you’d really think I could have come up with a better word than ‘wow’. But right there and then, ‘wow’ covered a lot of ground.

  After that amazing first time, and the horrible awkwardness that had followed, we’d made love again and again.

  We’d even been, um, busy when mum and dad got back and slammed the front door. Okay, so I was 21 and had been having sex for more years than my parents would like to believe, but that didn’t mean to say I wanted them to interruptus the coitus. Boy, it had been soooo hard to keep quiet. In the end, Miles stuck his tongue in my mouth just to shut me up. Well, it may not have been the only reason, but it worked just as well.

  And now, lying here next to him with the cool morning light edging between the curtains, I felt a deep sense of peace. And excitement. Peace, because we’d finally said everything we needed to say to each other. Oddly enough, it was a short conversation.

  It went like this.

  “I’ve loved you forever, you twerp!” I said.

  Miles blinked at me. “Yeah, me, too.”

  I shook my head. “No, I mean I’ve r-e-a-l-l-y loved you – like forever!”

  Miles looked annoyed. “Well, why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”

  “Oops.”

  He rolled his eyes. “No more ‘oops’, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  So, yeah, that had been a bit of an ‘oops’ moment. (I really was going to have to get some better vocabulary after the holidays were over, and I was back studying.)

  I admitted that I’d always loved him. He admitted that he had no clue, but that I’d always been his best friend, and he’d always compared other women to me.

  He told me a little bit about what the evil witch had said to him last night, but refused to give details on the grounds that he couldn’t think about her while he was lying between my naked thighs. Sigh.

  And did I mention excitement? Because we were finally together, and he said he didn’t want it to end once he went back to LA.

  He said he’d wait for me, until I finished my degree in five months time. And then I’d go out to join him in Kalifornication. God, I couldn’t wait.

  We’d talked in whispers most of the night, and made love again and again. Wow – stamina! I really should send a thank you note to Hilda. Although, maybe not. She seemed like the stalker type.

  But wow! I hadn’t had that much sex in, blimey, ever. Ever, ever, ever!

  Unfortunately, I was now desperate to pee. And from the way my flora and fauna was feeling down under, I was afraid that all the sexing was going to give me cystitis.

  I suddenly realized his eyes had opened and he was watching me.

  “Hi!” I said, my voice unnaturally high.

  A slow, sexy smile spread across his face, and he brushed his hand down my arm.

  “Clare.”

  The way he spoke my name – like the answer to a question, like a promise.

  A shuddering breath left my body, and he grinned at me. I watched, my eyes about to dribble out of my head, as his big top rose down below, ready for the greatest show on earth.

  And then I heard it.

  Footsteps in the hall, and mum yelling up the stairs. “Clare! Are you coming down for breakfast? I’m making bacon sandwiches!”

  Miles groaned. “I love your mum’s bacon sandwiches.”

  “Huh. More than you love me?”

  “It’s about 50/50 at the moment.”

  “Sod off.”

  He laughed, and his eyes crinkled happily.

  But now that I thought about it, this could be a tad awkward. You know, the whole mum-and-dad-don’t-know-I-have-a-fuck-hot-guy-in-my-bed-and-might-actually-think-I’m-still-a-virgin. Yeah, that sort of awkward.

  “I guess we’d better get dressed then,” said Miles, trying to hide a smile. “Go and face the music.”

  “Easy for you to say. My mum loves you. In fact I think she probably loves you more than she loves me.”

  He planted a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Yeah, probably, but your dad is going to have my balls.”

  “No way! I need those! The only person who’s having your balls is me.”

  “So, what do you want me to do? Climb out of the window? Live in your attic? Pretend I’ve got amnesia? Hope they have amnesia?”

  “Are there any other options?” I asked, chewing on a broken fingernail.

  “I could just come down and say hi,” he suggested.

  “I don’t know. That sounds complicated. Do you think it will work?”

  He smirked at me. “One way to find out.”

  I sighed heavily. “Okay, but if my dad kills you, I’m going to be really pissed off.”

  “Just pissed off? Not wildly heartbroken? Not utterly bereft and going bonkers in a Mrs. Rochester sort of way.”

  “Don’t push your luck, Stephens.”

  “Can I push something else?” he said, rocking his hips against me.

  “That is such a cheesy line! I can’t believe you said that!”

  “Is that a no?” he asked, a wicked grin on his face.

  “Yes. That’s a no. Maybe later.”

  “Only maybe? Did I tell you I have a Jacuzzi in my hotel room?”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, if my dad doesn’t kill you, I wouldn’t be averse to shagging your brains out in a Jacuzzi. Does it have jets?”

  He laughed quietly and his eyes softened.

  “God, I love you,” he said.

  There was really only one comeback to that.

  “I love you, too.”

  I found my pajamas which had somehow ended up under the bed, pulled them on and tramped off to the bathroom, leaving Miles to follow me if it seemed safe.

  The bathroom mirror hated me.

  When I saw myself, I nearly passed out from shock. Not only did I have horrendous sex hair (small print: bird’s nest), my face was far too flushed to look normal, and I had a small bite mark on the top of my left breast. Yeah, well my parents definitely wouldn’t be seeing that. Even though it meant I’d have to fasten my pajama top up to my neckline and risk looking like my Great Aunt Sally.

  I dragged a brush through my hair, had a very satisfying pee, flushed the loo, washed my hands, and wondered if I could smuggle Miles out in the laundry basket.

  Hmm. Probably not.

  He was quite big.

  Swoon.

  I made my way down to the kitchen. Dad was reading the Sunday papers, and mum was making the aforementioned bacon sandwiches.

  “Hello, love. Did you have a good time last night?”

  Oooh. There were so many ways to answer that question. None of which my mum would want to hear.

  “Yeah, it was good. How was your party?”

  “Oh, same old faces – it was alright. But I want to hear all about the premiere. How was Miles?”

  At that moment, the upstairs toilet flushed again.

  Dad looked up, a frown on his face.

  Mum looked at me, a frown on her face.

  I looked at the floor. Wow. How come I’d never noticed how fascinating our kitchen floor was before?

  “Clare?”

  “Um, yeah?”

  “Is there somebody up there?”

  “Technically… yes.”

  Mum narrowed her eyes. “Have you got a man up there? A yes or no answer will do.”

  “Um, yes?”

  Then Miles poked his head around th
e door, a huge smile on his face.

  “Morning, Sheila. Morning, Graham.”

  God, he looked edible. He was wearing the tux and white shirt, and his bow tie was hanging out of his pocket. Forget the bacon sandwiches – I wanted to eat him.

  “Morning, Miles,” said mum, faintly. “Bacon sandwich?”

  “Oh, brilliant! Thanks, Sheila. I’ve missed your bacon sandwiches. I haven’t had anything like that in forever.”

  He sat at the table, just like he had so many times before, except this time he picked up my hand from my lap and kissed my fingers. In front of mum and dad!

  My face exploded with color, and mum dropped the frying pan back onto the cooker with a loud clang.

  “Hey, baby,” he said to me. “You look beautiful this morning.”

  Dad choked on his tea. We all knew I looked like the back of a bus that had broken down. I prayed that Miles would never lose his rose-tinted glasses. They suited him so well.

  Unsurprisingly, we ate in silence after that. Well, the three members of the Milton household did. Miles chatted away, asking questions about mutual friends, and catching up on all the local gossip. As much as was possible, given our single syllable answers.

  At the end of the meal, dad stood up and cleared his throat.

  “I’d like to have a word with you, please, Miles,” he said. “If you’d like to come through to my study.”

  “Dad! You haven’t got a study!” I snapped. “It’s the garden shed – and it’ll be freezing!”

  He ignored me with a dignified silence. Miles grinned and winked, then leaned down to kiss me.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” he whispered. “I’ll tell him that my intentions are strictly honorable… even if they aren’t.”

  And then he followed dad into our tiny back garden.

  “Well!” said mum.

  “Yeah,” I said, chewing on yet another fingernail.

  “So, you and Miles?”

  “Yeah.”

  “At last.”

  “Yeah.”

  She smiled. “How does it feel?”

  I closed my eyes. “Wonderful.”

  She leaned over and gave me a hug.

  “I’m so happy for you both.”

  “Thanks, mum.”

  Dad and Miles didn’t stay in the shed very long. Well, it was December. But I think they’d been at the sherry, because dad was swaying slightly as he walked back up the garden path.

  When I finally got Miles alone, he told me that the conversation had been okay.

  Just okay?! It made me crazy that he wouldn’t tell me what had been said!

  Miles

  Waking up with Clare was the best fucking way to start the day. I wanted every day to start like that from now on.

  Last night had been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster – actually dodgems would be a better metaphor. Bloody Lilia had nearly trashed the whole evening, but the ending was better than I could ever have imagined.

  Clare. My best friend, my best girl. My girlfriend. It was kind of hard to get my head around the idea, but damn, it made me happy.

  And the sex!

  Jeez, what I’d been missing out on all these years! Just thinking about that made me a bit crazy. Hot, wet, tight; all soft curves and silky skin; flesh a man could sink his fingers into – or his teeth. So passionate. I felt like my lungs weren’t big enough to breathe her in, and my heart couldn’t beat fast enough to love her the way I wanted to.

  I couldn’t get enough of her.

  I hoped she’d forgive me for behaving like such a fucking animal all night, but seriously – I could not get enough of this woman.

  How had I been so blind? All this time, my dream woman had been right in front of me and I hadn’t seen it.

  I blamed her.

  I’d always thought she wasn’t interested in me. She was forever laughing at me, for one thing, and she was so smart – book smart and street smart – so I’d always figured she’d end up with some brainy guy from her university, someone who was as clever as her. I never thought she’d settle for me. Damn, I was happy that her standards were crashing.

  Now, it was my job to make sure I did my best to live up to what a woman like her deserved. To try and deserve her. Because I sure as hell hadn’t earned her.

  I wasn’t entirely certain how I was going to keep Miles Junior in check around her either. And seeing her cum! I’d never seen anything so fucking hot in my entire life. And I’d watched a lot of porn. Well, Jim the Unwashed, the guy that I used to share a house with, he’d insisted we got cable just so he could have access to porn 24 hours a day. But a real flesh and blood woman – there was no comparison.

  And now I could close my eyes and have my own private porn show running in my head whenever I wanted it. Yeah, probably best not to do that around her parents. I mean, they liked me well enough, but no father wants to think that some guy is getting it on with his little girl, right?

  It was hilarious seeing Clare so flustered this morning. For a moment, I really thought she was going to have me shinning down the drainpipe or something, just so I could avoid her parents. I’d stayed at her place hundreds of times – true, most times it was on the couch – but a couple of times we’d ended up in bed together, even though nothing had ever happened. It pissed me off to think about all the lost opportunities.

  I let her go ahead, so she could break the happy news to Sheila and Graham that she’d been shagging the next door neighbor, but from the look on their faces when I walked into the kitchen, I realized that she’d left out that detail.

  I could tell that Sheila was okay about it, but Graham wasn’t quite sure what to think. I guess he thought he needed to have ‘the talk’ with me, because after I’d eaten three of the most fuck-tastic bacon sandwiches ever, he took me aside for a ‘man to man’ conversation.

  I didn’t know what to expect, but I wasn’t too worried either. I could run pretty fast.

  It was fucking freezing outside, and his shed was no barrier against frost.

  We sat on a couple of old deckchairs, and he poured me a glass of sweet sherry. God, I hated that stuff.

  “So, Miles,” he said. “It’s good to see you again, son.”

  “Thanks, Graham.”

  We both took a sip of that God-awful syrup, and I felt my tongue disintegrate from the contact. Damn. I’d had plans for that. Licking Clare’s soft, round stomach; licking her warm thighs; licking her full breasts and… Oh, shit. This was getting awkward.

  I shifted around on the deckchair trying to get comfortable. It was a losing battle.

  “Ahem.”

  My head snapped up as Graham cleared his throat.

  “I want to know what your intentions are toward my daughter, to our Clare.”

  I squared my shoulders and looked him in the eye.

  “I love her, Graham. I want to marry her. I just haven’t told her. Well, I’ve told her I love her – I haven’t asked her to marry me – yet. But I will.”

  “I see. Right. Well…”

  There was a long pause while I waited for the axe to fall, to be told that I wasn’t good enough for his daughter. I wouldn’t have disagreed.

  “So,” he said at last, “what do you think about Tottenham’s chances against Manchester United?”

  We didn’t stay outside, I mean, in the shed, much longer after that, thank fuck. I was freezing my balls off in there, and I was pretty sure I’d need them later. In fact, I was hoping that Clare had plans for my balls. Wow, that sounds really bad, but you know what I mean.

  Yeah, it’s probably not cool to be thinking about shagging a man’s daughter while you’re sitting in his shed drinking his sherry.

  Graham popped a breath mint before we went back in. Sheila probably didn’t approve of sherry at that time of the day. It was so fucking disgusting, I didn’t approve of it either, whatever time it was.

  Actually, I had no clue whether it was still morning or afternoon already. Not that I cared much either.
My only plan for the day was to make up for lost time. With Clare.

  When we got back to the kitchen, Clare was waiting for me with a tense expression on her face. I don’t know what she thought Graham was going to do to me – maybe hit me with a shovel and bury me in the back garden. She looked relieved when I walked in and sat next to her.

  “Wow, your hands are freezing!” she said, as I touched her fingers.

  “Yeah. December. Shed. But I can think of a few ways that you can warm me up…”

  She blinked a couple of times and then gave this sweet, shy little smile. It was so un-Clare, but I liked it.

  “Can you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Um, okay. But I thought you had that interview thing to do.”

  Shit. She was right. I’d forgotten about that. Melody would have my ass, and not in a good way.

  “Crap! What time is it?”

  “Just after 12.”

  “Damn. I have to go. I told mum I’d see her this morning as well.”

  Clare’s face fell.

  “But we still have a date for the Jacuzzi, right?” I said, praying she hadn’t changed her mind.

  Her smile made my cock sigh with anticipation.

  “Yeah, sure. What time will you be finished?”

  “About four, I think. Come by after then? Room 607.”

  “Okay. Have fun.”

  I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. She knew I’d rather chew my foot off up to my elbow than sit and talk about myself for two hours.

  The only person I wanted to spend time with was her.

  “And, ah, stay the night with me, please, baby?”

  “At the Dorchester?”

  “Yeah. Please?”

  “Wild horses doing a clog dance couldn’t stop me.”

  She stood up to say goodbye to me, and a quick peck on the cheek turned into something much, much hotter. I barely heard Sheila’s embarrassed cough, but then Clare was pushing me away.

  “I’ll see you later,” she whispered.

  I didn’t think any paps were watching the house, but I went out through the backdoor just in case.

  Mum was standing at the sink. Yeah, and smoking a cigarette! Busted!

  I tapped on the door and she jumped. I couldn’t help laughing as I saw her stub the butt out and wave her hands around, trying to dispel the smoke. Believe me when I say that doesn’t work – I tried that shit when I was 15 and I didn’t get away with it then.