“I’m going to get the first aid kit. I’ll be right back, okay?” She nods her head while wiping the back of her hand under her nose. Tears still streaking down her cheeks.
I walk to the kitchen and snag the first aid kit from under the counter. Jeremy is sitting at the table with a ghostly expression on his face. Crossing the kitchen, I put my hand on his shoulder and give it a light squeeze. I’m not sure if he’s remembering the night Darcie came into our house or the horror of the last several hours. Whatever it is, the memory is written all over his face. As I walk away he asks, “Why her, Reggie? Why do people always want to hurt her?”
I ponder his questions, but have no real answer for him. I respond honestly, “I don’t know, but she’s a fighter, Jeremy. She’ll get through this. It will just take some time.”
Jeremy’s face drops into his hands and his shoulders begin to shudder. The poker face is crumbling and he’s crying. “I keep seeing her lying in the snow, covered in blood. I want to kill him. If I see him, I’m going to kill him.”
“Yeah, I know, man. Don’t do anything stupid, he’ll get what’s coming to him,” I threaten, knowing if I lay my eyes on that puke again, he’s as good as dead. I will destroy him.
Jeremy’s voice is barely a whisper, “I keep thinking about what would have happened if we didn’t get to her. She would’ve been dead, I know that fucker wouldn’t have let her live.”
“You can’t think of that, Jeremy. Darcie’s here and she’s okay. I’ve got to check on her. Get some sleep. We’ll deal with all this later, once Drake gets home.”
I exit the kitchen. In Darcie’s room, I snag her pajama shorts and tank off her bed and make my way back into the bathroom. She’s removed the blanket and is sitting in the water, still wearing her panties. Her knees are pushed up against her chest with her arms secured tightly around her legs. I move forward and place the clothes next to the sink then sit on the toilet next to the bathtub, resting my elbows on my knees. I position my face away from where she’s sitting in the water, attempting to give her some privacy. Before I do, my eyes are drawn to the purple bruises and large cut across her back. To my relief, it’s finally stopped bleeding, and then I see the bite marks on her thighs. The blood rushes to my face as I clench my jaw, instantly enraged with the sight of her damaged body.
She squeezes soap onto a wash cloth and slowly starts to rub the fabric together, making foaming bubbles. The smell of vanilla releases into the air as she starts to wipe the cloth over the blood stained skin across her stomach. Her hand is trembling. It’s all she can do to hold herself together. The tremors in her hands are too intense and she can barely hold on to the towel.
“Here, I’ll help you.” I set the first aid kit on the floor and move to my knees, leaning over the edge of the tub. I gather her long black hair in my hand then sweep it over her right shoulder. As gentle as possible, I start to scrub the night from her. I bring the wash cloth to her back and lightly move it across her shoulders and down her spine, careful not to press against the six inch cut on her back. Darcie still winces as the soap sinks into her open wound, burning with every drop. The old, white scars are raised and prominent as they crisscross over her back. Some are small little cuts the size of a fingernail. Others are deep and jagged. I count five, round, cigar burns randomly placed across her back and now, she has another scar to add to the many already accumulated in her young life.
The one scar that bothers me the most comes into view. A round, quarter sized burn on the top of her left shoulder. The skin is soft, but rippled from its healing. I run the pad of my thumb over the mound as I wipe it clean with soap and release the breath I was holding.
“It was the first one.” She turns her head and meets my gaze. Her eyes a glistening green as she looks at me. “I was four. Robert was mad that I spilled my juice on the carpet and he decided to use my shoulder as his ashtray.”
It’s the first time she has openly talked about what happened between her and her stepfather. Now I know why that scar has always bothered me, it’s the first one in the line of ten years too many. I want to take it all away, but I know I can’t. The burning rage stews to its familiar boil in my veins when I think of Robert hurting her. She meets my gaze and recognizes the fury lit in my eyes, and then shakes her head no. The anger subsides as she removes my hand from her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Darcie.” I can’t think of anything else to say. There isn’t anything I could say to take her pain away.
I finish washing her and help her out of the tub. The remnants of Grady’s torment are spinning like a tornado as the crimson water sinks down the drain. Beads of water run down her body when I drape the towel over her shoulders, wrapping her tightly. I guide Darcie into her bedroom and allow her to change into clean panties and put on her shorts while I face the wall, giving her privacy. I know it’s dumb, considering I just helped her bathe, but the gesture just felt appropriate. She climbs onto her bed and lies on her side. The naked skin of her back is now clean; however, it’s an angry red and bruised.
Unscrewing the cap from the tube of ointment, I squeeze a dime size amount onto my finger and lightly rub it onto her fresh wound. I pull the wrapper off the butterfly strips and place six adhesive strips over her cut. She winces slightly from the touch, but otherwise, stays still. Darcie rolls carefully onto her back. Her arms cover her breasts and then I see. The delicate skin on her lower abdomen is covered in bite marks. Several of them are scabbed over from where Grady’s teeth had sunk into her flesh.
“Jesus, Darcie.” My eyes snap to her in shock and the anger ignites once again. What kind of sick fuck would do this? My hands are trembling from rage and I can’t think of anything except squeezing the life out of that prick.
“Stop, Reggie. Please…just stop. I know what you’re thinking, but please, just…don’t. For me, please?” Her eyes are pleading. Her voice is a whisper.
“I don’t know if I can, Darcie.” I push to my feet and attempt to shake the boiling anger from my body, stalking back and forth in her bedroom, wearing a hole in her carpet from my pacing. “For you, Darcie, I won’t hunt him down, but if I see that bastard on the street. God help me because I will kill him.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I can’t lose you to the system, Reggie. I’m not sure how I’d survive.”
I expel a big breath and sit back down next to her, continuing to spread more ointment on the bite wounds over her stomach and thighs.
It feels like I’ve been transported back in time to three years ago; cleaning and caring for open wounds. At fourteen, Darcie was so frail and small that a strong wind could have broken her in half, but behind her big, green eyes, she possessed a fighter’s strength.
We’ve done a three hundred sixty degree turn from the first time we met. Doing this very thing, except Darcie is three years older, no longer a child. She’s a woman, a woman I’ve fallen madly in love with, but like everything else in my life, it comes with a price. I’m finding it impossible to keep my anger under control once again while I’m tending her injuries. Fucking Robert Stein. He’s another jackass I could kill. Unfortunately, he’s holding the cards that could take Darcie from me.
While I’m pointing fingers at the cowards responsible for hurting Darcie physically and emotionally, I need to turn and point one at myself. I’m to blame for what’s happened as much as Grady is. When I swept Darcie into my arms the night she came into my life, I vowed to her I would always protect her, and here she lays, emotionally broken, bruised and bloody.
“All done,” I say as I toss the wrappers into the trash can and hand over her shirt.
I turn and face the wall again while she pulls the tank over her chest. The sun is beaming through the window and glows across her skin. She’s so beautiful. I’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours and my eyes are heavy with exhaustion from the stress. I feel like I’ve aged thirty years in a matter of hours. Darcie’s eyes mirror mine; tired, stressed and scared.
As I
cover her up, she looks up at me with pleading eyes. “I’m afraid to close my eyes. I’m afraid the monster of my past and now the one of my present will be there. Waiting to haunt me…attack me.”
I run the back of my hand down her bruised face and lean forward, placing a kiss to her tender cheek. “Nothing’s going to happen to you, Darcie. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I will never forgive myself for what’s happened to you. I should have killed that bastard when I had the chance.”
She says nothing, but shakes her head no. She doesn’t want to hear me apologize, but I will always be sorry I wasn’t there to protect her. Some knight in shining armor I turned out to be.
“Stay with me. Please. I can’t be alone. Not now.” She turns back the covers and slides to the other side of the bed. Unable to tell her no, I yank my shirt over my head, kick off my boots and slide my jeans off. I get into bed next to her and pull her into me. Her skin is warm as she rolls to her side, pushing her back into my chest. I envelope Darcie in my arms and release a silent breath of relief because she is here, she is safe and most importantly, she is alive.
I place a faint kiss to the scar on her shoulder and securely tighten my grip around her body. “I love you, Darcie,” I whisper before she falls asleep.
“I know you do, Reggie.” Moments later there’s deep breathing, she’s out.
Darcie
The sun is lowering, down past the trees, as the day moves into night. I’ve been in a coma-like sleep for the last fourteen hours, exhausted from the events of yesterday. Grady never haunted my dreams, that I can remember, and I know it’s because Reggie was in my bed, protecting me in his arms. I haven’t felt so terrified in my life, not since the night I was finally rescued from Robert.
Grady’s eyes were telling. They told me he was going to take the last thing that was truly mine…my innocence…then, my life. His eyes betrayed him as he tore the clothes from my body. I knew once he was done raping me, I would be dead. Monsters tend to harbor the same cold look in their eyes. Located just behind the colored irises, lies a creature of pure evil and hate. They lurk in the shadows of their intentions, waiting for the right time to strike and then, they take the soul of their prey. It’s exactly what Grady is, a monster hidden behind movie star good looks, a dazzling smile and a perfect body.
The emptiness of my bed restores the loneliness in my heart. Since the traumatic events of yesterday, what version of Reggie will I encounter? Will it be my best friend, protector and the man who stole my heart? Or will it be the man I made him become; cold, distant and detached. I’m afraid to leave my bed, to leave the heartfelt moments we shared only hours before. I want to see the man who declared his love for me just as I drifted off to sleep. Not the jerk I have created.
I roll onto my back and pain instantly registers. The jagged cut down the middle of my back is screaming with agony. It feels like someone doused gasoline on my skin and lit a match. I push myself up with my elbows, taking note of the soreness on my abdomen, shoulders and leg muscles. Pure adrenaline had fueled my fight against Grady, helping break free of his grasp, and now the tender ache in my body is going to be my reminder.
I look over to the place that was occupied by Reggie; the pillow is still dented from his head. I pick it up and hold the softness to my face, inhaling deeply. The faint smell of cologne and him linger there. A wave of peace washes over me as I take in the scent of salvation. When I pull the pillow away from my face, a note falls onto my lap. The folded piece of paper was ripped from the binder in my notebook and scrolled with his script. I flip the paper over and over in my hands, willing myself to read it. What will it say? Will it be a Dear John letter? Will it be a declaration of love? Maybe my eviction notice? My stomach is doing summersaults as I contemplate opening the note. To my surprise, it is none of that.
I went to pick up Drake from the hospital. We’re waiting for you in the kitchen when you’re ready to get up.
Love ~ R.
A smile stretches across my face. So far, he is the old Reggie, but my heart sinks when I’m reminded of what happened to Drake. Grady knocked him out cold when he tried to intervene. I hope he’s okay. Guilt washes over me as I realize this is the first time I’ve thought of him.
This motivates my legs to swing over the edge of my bed and my feet to take a step forward. Slowly, I walk toward the door and pull it open. Every muscle in my body is sore and sluggish as I plod down the hallway. Voices from the kitchen flood the hall, filling my heart with love and appreciation. I need to see the boys…the men who saved my life. I need to tell them thank you. I need to tell them how sorry I am for all the problems I cause. I need to hold each one of them in my arms and give them all the love they’ve given me.
Chapter 27
Reggie
The winter air is brisk against my face as I plod down the back steps. Pulling the keys from my pocket, I fire the Camaro to life, crank the heat on high and wait for the car to warm up.
Big Mike called this morning informing me Drake is would be released this afternoon from the hospital. Thankfully, he was not seriously injured and will just come home with a nasty bruise. I spoke to him earlier and he seemed off, though. I’m sure he feels like crap after being slugged in the side of the head, but his voice was broken from something else. Drake has always been more sensitive to situations like this and I make a mental note to discuss this with him later.
As I point the car in the direction of the hospital, I notice the fresh blanket of snow covering every surface. The sky is gray and it feels like another snowfall is on the horizon. My tires spin against the concrete, trying to gain traction as I make my way down the street.
The drive to the hospital gives me time to reflect on the last twelve hours and it leaves me baffled at how someone’s life can change in an instant. We were all affected by Grady, but no one more than Darcie, and it makes me blind with rage knowing I could have prevented it all. There were so many occasions I could have stopped her from seeing him, but I didn’t.
As soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew he would end up damaging her. I sensed what kind of person Grady could be the moment I spoke to him at the last drag race. He was manipulating and his intentions were calculated as he brainwashed Darcie into thinking he was Prince Charming. I just assumed he would cheat on her—because I know there’s no way she was giving it up that soon—and her heart would be broken, but what actually happened was a million times worse. I had no fucking idea what kind of pain he would inflict on her. I hate myself for not interceding sooner. I should have never let her relationship with Grady get that far. He hurt her because he was mad at me and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
Last night, when I closed my eyes to sleep, it was Darcie’s mangled body that came into the forefront of my mind. The long cut down her back, bruises covering her body and the bite marks littered across her porcelain skin. How can someone do that to another person?
I couldn’t let her go all night. I needed to know she was safe and secure in my arms. I just held her tighter. When she rolled over, Darcie nuzzled her face into my chest and I don’t think she moved all night. I was grateful she didn’t have any nightmares and her mind was at peace after everything that had happened. The sight of her injuries made my stomach churn, and I am sick with anger, guilt and disappointment. All my festering emotions are pointed directly at me.
I pull up to the hospital and find a decent place to park. The snow is starting to fall again and I hope the discharge process doesn’t take too long because I would rather not leave my car stranded in the parking lot. As much as I love my Camaro, it sucks to drive in the snow.
After riding the elevator to the third floor, I make my way down the hall to Drake’s room. The floor is busy with nurses scurrying back and forth between patient rooms and the smell of antiseptic is everywhere. I round the corner and see Drake sitting on the edge of the bed. He is dressed and waiting for me to come pick him up. The side of his face is purplish-blue and sw
ollen from its bruise.
When I make my way through the door, he stands and I give him a tight hug. I know he’s hurting—inside and out—more so than the rest of us. He just needs to go home and see Darcie to know everything will be okay.
Drake has been exposed to so much violence in his young life. He was left with our family at the age of three and had the unfortunate experience of my mother raising him. Initially, when he came to live with us, I felt sorry for him. Our home life was anything except picture perfect and most of the time my mother left him, along with the rest of us, alone to fend for ourselves. Once I got a little older, though, I started caring for my brothers as our mom was slowly slipping further into her addiction. Then I realized, Drake was lucky to be left with us. Abandoned by his own parents he could have been left in the street to die or put into foster care. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Often times, he’s the voice of reason between Jake and Jeremy and has the biggest heart of any kid I know.
The nurse passes me the discharge forms and I sign my name on every piece of paper then we make our way toward the elevator. He doesn’t say much as we descend to the ground floor, but I know a lot is weighing on his mind.
Drake and I are heading back from the hospital and I’m glad to see he is doing okay. Grady punched him directly in the temple, causing him to be instantly knocked out cold. I need to start working with Drake, getting him prepared to defend himself so something like this never happens again. I spent a lot of time working with Jeremy and Jake, teaching them how to fight, but when Darcie came into the picture, she needed the knowledge more than Drake. He was always with his brothers and I never had to worry about them, they would always protect him, but last night was confirmation, I fucked up yet again.
Scarred Love Page 16