“Nah, man. As long as you guys are happy, then I’m cool.” Drake slaps me on the back and gives me a proud smile, like he wants to give me relationship advice. Please, he’s been in a serious relationship for a minute.
“Well, it’s a little weird, but it’s cool as long as she’s okay and you’re okay. That’s all that matters to me,” Jake states then starts the hash brown sin the skillet.
I look over to Jeremy who’s standing quietly in the corner. He tips his head up and says, “It’s cool, Reggie.”
“I’m serious about this next part.” I look to Jake especially so he knows exactly how dead serious I am. “What’s going on with Darcie and I, it can’t leave this house. Things could get extremely bad if anyone outside our family knows. Especially Robert.” All their eyes lock with mine and the light-hearted air is replaced by the ever present dark cloud Robert Stein has brought to this family. “Until this shit with him is over, keep your mouth shut.”
“We all know the drill, Reggie,” Jeremy says.
The smile spread across my face is beaming, knowing how the boys were raised, and everything they’ve seen, they turned out to pretty exceptional young men. Raising the boys by myself at an early age in a shithole place like Sulfur Heights could have put all of us on a path of drugs, jail or worse, but they continue to impress me. As immature as they can act sometimes, each one of them has proven just how grown up they can be with their devotion to our family.
Darcie
I stand under the shower and soak up the surreal moment between Reggie and me. The warm water heats up my body as I caress my delicately tender skin with soap. I feel amazing. Despite the bruises, bite marks and lacerations, I’m on cloud nine and I may never come down. For the first time in my life, I’m feeling totally at peace with the direction of my life and it’s all because the truth is finally out.
Presley was right. All I needed to do was expose my true feelings for Reggie and he would do the same. How the hell she became Dr. Phil is beyond me, but I owe her a great, big thank you when I see her.
Thinking of Presley, I haven’t seen her since she drove off in a cab Friday night. It was her abrupt departure and the look of terror on her paled face that left me with an uneasy feeling, but Grady McGuire stole my attention at that moment and I never got to follow up on them. She seemed determined and strong one minute then, as soon as she received that text, Presley morphed back into the meek and scared girl she was when we met. I hope everything is okay. Her uncle probably found out she was hanging at a bar or with a bunch of orphan misfits and decided to ground her. Pompous douche bags tend to overreact when their precious children are friends with the white trash on the other side of the tracks.
I finish washing, dry and then dress. I snag my phone and shoot a quick text to Presley.
Hey Pres…Call me or come over when you can. I’ve got a lot to tell you.
Once my hair is secured in a bun on the top of my head and my teeth are brushed, I make my way back out to the kitchen, smelling the wonderful aroma filling the house. My stomach growls from ravenous hunger as I get a whiff of sausage frying in the skillet and pancakes browning on the griddle.
As promised, Reggie recruited the boys to step in and help with my requested meal. I’m secretly glad he did, as fine as Reggie is, he can’t cook worth shit. Jake and I, on the other hand, are the regular chefs in the Evans’ household. I can hear the kitchen nightmare as Jake and Reggie start arguing over how long the pancakes need to cook on one side. Drake mans the stove, cooking the sausage, hash browns and eggs. He’s sampling as much as he’s cooking when he snatches small pieces from the hot mound of yellow deliciousness.
“Reggie! You’re gonna burn those fucking cakes if you don’t turn them soon. Damn it! How the hell did we survive off your cooking for so long?” Jake swipes the spatula from his hand and flips the pancake over, saving it from being tossed in the trash.
“Fuck off, Jake.” He punches him on the shoulder. “You’re alive, aren’t you? I say you survived just fine,” Reggie rebuts, slightly wounded from Jake’s jab at his lack of cooking abilities.
Jake smacks Drake with the spatula. “Stop eating all the fucking eggs, dude. There won’t be any left for the rest of us.”
Rounding the corner, I make my way into the kitchen and smile at the wonderful foul-mouthed men in my life. My family.
“Smells pretty good in here, boys, and it’s breakfast for supper, my favorite.” I move to the kitchen and wrap my arms around Reggie’s waist, pressing my chest to his back. He counters as he turns around, enveloping me into his chest. Instantly, I relax as I’m comforted by his strong arms and I become intoxicated by his scent.
Jake turns from the griddle with a plate full of pancakes in one hand and the spatula in the other. “Okay, Jeremy and I will need to find a new place to live if all I’m going to see is this lovey-dovey shit. It’s already enough that I have to watch this douche fondle Presley all the time, now you guys,” he snaps, motioning with his spatula toward Reggie and me. “Because my gag reflex can take only so much before I start puking all over the place.”
“Speak for yourself, Jake. I would rather watch them do that than watch you ram your tongue down some random slut’s mouth while banging her in my backseat,” Jeremy says as he walks through the back door, stomping his feet on the rug, getting snow off his boots.
Laughter erupts from everyone. I buckle over, holding my sides as the pain fills my abdomen from the bout of laughter. I stand up straight and take deep breaths, trying to restore my breathing to normal at the same time as I’m wiping the tears from my eyes. God, I love this. These boys are crazy and I love it.
“Fuck off, Jeremy. I will admit, I’m a little disappointed in you, Darcie,” Jake says, looking over at me. My face instantly drops, knowing I’ve done so much to cause Jake to be disappointed in me. My heart starts to beat rapidly and I can feel the guilt building inside me. “You, of all people, were not supposed to turn into a mushy, love sick wuss, remember? You were supposed to be my partner in crime, making fun of people like him,” he says, pointing to Drake. “Now you’re one of them…it’s just sad.”
My lips turn up in a smile as I look at Jake who seems truly upset about this. “Jake, maybe it’s time for you to stop bagging the skanks and find someone worthwhile. What’s between Reggie and me has been real for a long time. It just took longer for me to figure out what it meant. I’m not going to change. I will always be the feisty bitch you love and will join you in mocking anytime. Actually, I’m a little disappointed you think I will desert you like that.”
He claps me on the back and we embrace in a manly type hug before I grab a plate from the cupboard and load it up with food. The boys follow suit and we sit in the living room, devouring every morsel on our plate while we watch Step Brothers for the forty-seventh time this month.
I look around the room and feel like the luckiest girl in the world, it makes me smile.
Chapter 28
Darcie
The week passes unbelievably fast while I recover from the weekend’s terror. Reggie insists I stay home and relax before going back to school. Secretly, I am incredibly glad he did. Not only do we get a lot of one on one time together, but the bruise on my face has time to change into a gross greenish brown color, which is much easier to cover up with makeup than the dark purple color it used to be. Reggie spends every night in my bed when he comes home from the bar. He brushes my bare stomach with his hands occasionally, but we don’t do much more than that besides the kissing. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be with him, but I know it’s incredibly hard for me to keep myself under control. The gravitational pull between our bodies drives us crazy because we both want to wait awhile before we have sex, but we can’t seem to keep our hands or lips off each other.
The following Monday is shaping up to be like any other Monday. Snow is lightly falling outside as the temperature drops to cold enough to freeze your blood as soon as you step outside. Reggie is in the kitch
en making a pot of coffee, ready to start his day as I round the corner with my coat and school bag. I honestly don’t know how he does it. Coming home from the bar at three in the morning and back up at seven to see us off to school. I know I couldn’t function on four hours of sleep every night, but Reggie says he’s just used to it. I would be the biggest bitch to everyone. My cranky ass needs at least nine hours of sleep to function like a normal, happy person.
I give him a quick kiss goodbye and trudge down the back stairs, getting into the Challenger. Reggie had a pretty serious talk with the boys about our relationship. I, of course, wasn’t there to hear the discussion, or put my two cents in, but from what he’s told me, they are not to mention us together at all. Until I’m out of school, Reggie and I can’t be a couple outside of our house. This makes me glad it’s winter because I normally hibernate in my bedroom or in front of the living room TV. I hate being outside when it’s cold.
We pull into the parking lot and go our separate ways. I’ve been going to Mrs. Jenkins office at least once a week since I vowed to get out of Sulfur Heights, but things have changed and I need to know my options. I’m not going anywhere without Reggie and he can’t exactly leave so my plans must change. The closest college I applied to is the University of Michigan and it’s a two hour drive from our house. Maybe I will change majors. I’m pretty good with numbers. I could get a business or accounting degree and help Reggie with the bar.
I pull open the heavy wooden door to Mrs. Jenkins’ office. The room smells like a cinnamon stick, and it’s a little cluttered with boxes, piles of random crap, and papers stuffed in every corner. She is sitting behind her old, metal desk, tapping away on her keyboard when I enter. Mrs. Jenkins is a stout woman in her fifties, who’s stuck in 1980’s fashion. She is always wearing something with shoulder pads and wearing an obnoxious color of pink, purple or green. Her gray hair is typically fastened behind her head in a large, metal clip with her bangs teased four inches up off her head.
She looks at me over her reading glasses and I smile. “Hi, Mrs. J, if I decided on a different major will that affect my scholarship?”
“No. It’s a basic scholarship you receive when your grade point average is consistently high throughout your high school career. It doesn’t hinge on your major. Why?”
“Well, I think I want to stay in Sulfur Heights, but I still want to go to school. I was thinking of getting an accounting degree or maybe business. Do I have to decide that when I sign up for classes?”
“No, you can be undecided and start with your general education credits, but why the change, Darcie? A month ago it was all you could do to get out of here and now you don’t want to leave.”
“Well, I just don’t want to leave my friends or family. I was just having a bad month and being impulsive. Do you think I could take online classes from University of Michigan and still utilize my scholarship?”
“Yes, I’m sure that can be arranged. Are you sure this is what you want?” she asks with a look of concern on her face.
Reggie’s face floods into the forefront of my mind and I smile as big as my mouth will allow. “Hell yeah, Mrs. J.”
“Okay then, once they accept you, which I have no doubt they will, we will need to schedule some time to help you register and get your stuff in order.”
I stand from the chair and head toward the door. “Thanks!”
Lunch comes quickly and I am glad for that. I join the boys at our usual table, but take note that the newest person of our crew is missing. She hasn’t returned my text message from over a week ago and hasn’t come to the house, either. Frankly, I’m a little irritated with Presley.
“Drake, where the hell has Presley been?” I ask with a little aggravation in my voice.
“She’s got mono and has to stay out of school. Why? Have you heard from her?”
“No, that’s why I’m asking. I texted her like a week ago and she hasn’t texted me back.”
“She text me last Sunday, telling me she had mono, but I haven’t heard from her since. I was going to have Jeremy take me to her house after school to make sure she’s okay.”
We all sit around the table, eating our lunch and talking about nothing in particular. The bell sounds and the students scatter to start the last half of their day. I manage to make it through with no incidents, but there were a couple of times I wanted to lay Vanessa flat and snatch that sneer off her skanky ass face. This year is going to suck if I have to keep dodging her like this.
When we get home from school, Reggie is gone; maybe he’s helping Gavin at the bar. I’m a little sad I didn’t get to tell him goodbye, but I will see him once he comes home and the thought of me in his arms makes me smile. Walking down the hall to my room, I pass by Reggie’s office. Ever since the attempted break-in last year, this door is shut and locked because he doesn’t want anyone in his business. I am surprised he’s left it open.
He brings such joy to my heart that I want to do the same for him. I decide to do something incredibly cheesy and a little out of character for me and leave him a little love note. This way, he can think of me when he’s in here, slaving away, balancing books and paying bills.
The office is allegiance to his former fighting career and the passion he has for the MMA circuit. There are promotion posters hung on the walls of his favorite fights, some including him. The pictures scattered all over the walls are of him, fighting in the ring, taking on his opponent. He’s sporting the lethal glare I’ve only seen a couple of times since I’ve known him.
I move over to his desk and sit in the plush, black leather chair. His laptop is open, budget sheets and bills organized in certain folders sitting on his desk. There are two framed pictures on his desk. The first one is his prized autograph photo of Randy Couture, the man who inspired him to get into MMA, and a picture of the five of us taken this past summer right before Jeremy’s last drag race. This makes me smile. Jeremy’s friend got a crazy idea to have the boys line up shoulder to shoulder, then lift me over their heads like they were going to toss me. I put on my best model pose, lying on my side across their hands with my head propped up by my hand. They almost dropped me twice, but I was caught by Reggie both times. It was one of the funniest moments we’ve had. I will never forget it.
Opening the center drawer, I look for a pen and scroll my note on the yellow sticky note. However, before I close the drawer, a ledger tucked in the back gets my attention. Normally, I would never snoop in his business, but the name written on the outside instantly captures my attention. My hands are shaking as the blood rushes out of my body. I grab the book from the drawer, placing it on the desk. My thumb automatically starts to dig into the scar on the inside of my left wrist as I contemplate opening the book.
Do I really want to know what this is about? Can I emotionally handle what I might find on these pages? The questions are mounting in my head, but curiosity gets the better of me. I flip through pages and find figures dating back to one year after I was saved. It could only mean one thing and the thought kills me inside.
He’s receiving money from my stepfather. He’s made some kind of arrangement with him and now Robert is paying him to keep me. The most current entry dates are just before Grady and I started to see each other. What the hell? How could he do this to me? I feel overcome with rage and betrayal as the total on the bottom of the page answers my question. Reggie has received almost fifty thousand dollars from him, the man who ruined my life for ten years. I look at the picture of the five of us and chuck it across the room. The glass splinters and shatters as it tumbles onto the carpet. My weakness is starting to ooze from my eyes, so I make my way to the bedroom and allow it to purge from my body.
I slam the door so hard, it makes the bedroom windows rattle. The hot tears are streaming down my cheeks as deceit stabs at my heart. My fists are clamped hard at my side when I stomp over to my MP3 player and blast Three Days Grace. As “I Hate Everything About You” blares from the speakers, I let the deep guitar riffs mirr
or the rage building in my body. I swipe the back of my hand across my cheeks, wetting my skin.
I can’t hold it in anymore. I open my mouth and the most heart-wrenching sound exits my body. It’s the sound of a shattering heart; falling to pieces from the pain, anger and deepest, unnerving betrayal. My throat burns, but I let the emotions escape from my body. The pillow from my bed muffles the sounds, but does nothing to ease the pain in my heart. I don’t understand? If Reggie loved me so much, how could he do this to me?
Yes, I have kept the details of what happened in that house in the dark, but it doesn’t give Reggie the right to keep this from me or even take that man’s money. Reggie of all people knows how terrified I am of him. Robert Stein is evil at its purest. He is the one and only person I wish dead, and Reggie has been taking money from him for the last two years. If that was not enough, the exorbitant amount of money he’s taken is not measly; almost fifty thousand dollars. Around here, that is a hard working man’s yearly salary. No fucking wonder Reggie wants for nothing. He can afford to drop money; restoring classic cars and giving the boys whatever they want because all he needs to do is go to his sugar daddy and get paid.
God, how I love this man and the pain growing inside my chest is much more excruciating than the rejection my heart’s received in the past. I’ve completely opened my heart to him, given him my soul and this is how he treats it?
My body is tired and my knees buckle from the exhaustion. I collapse to the floor as the pain starts pouring from my eyes again. Saturated in tears and aching from betrayal, I drag my weary body across the floor and climb into my chair. Oblivious to any other pain, I dig my thumbnail into the tender scar on my wrist. The wound still has faint tenderness from the nylon rope Grady used to restrain me, but I welcome any feeling other than the hurt ripping me apart.
My lungs finally allow me to release a normal breath as my sobs turn into whimpers. Now that the rage is starting to subside, all that is left inside of me are the hollow pits of a broken heart. That is exactly how he has left me feeling, too, hollow.
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