Lasting Attraction

by Ashley Beale

  "Yeah," I say. That is it. That is all I can say.

  "And I'm sorry for scaring you."

  I just smile softly and look down at my sweats, wrapping my arms around myself as I feel chills invade my skin. It’s over a hundred degrees outside but I feel ice cold right now. He steps closer until he is at the bed, then he kneels on it, grabbing at me. Reluctantly I allow him to pull me towards him until we're hugging one another. I immediately start sobbing on his shoulder and he holds me a little tighter.

  "I wasn't with her last night," he whispers.

  An awkward half sob, half laugh escapes me, which in returns causes him to chuckle. I miss that sound. I've ignored all his phone calls and attempts in Skype since I found out about the tape. I even started erasing his texts before reading them, and haven't opened a damn letter he has sent. Everything stopped about eight weeks ago, the same day I got a letter in the mail addressed to Cassie Danielson instead of Cassie McKnight. I got the hint.

  He pulls back and puts his hands on my cheeks, wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "We should have that talk, huh?"

  I nod my head and start to smile but it won't form on my lips. I can't, not yet.

  We adjust ourselves so I'm leaning against the headboard and he is sitting against my wall. We're only a few inches from one another but we may as well still be states apart. Again with the awkwardness while we stare at one another. Its just one of many hurdles between us. You can't jump a hurdle without prepping yourself. I've been doing that for weeks. Hell, for months. When you start running towards a hurdle, you can't start too slow or you won't make good time and may not jump over it right. So I'm not going to start slow. I'm just going for it.

  "How could you record a sex tape with Katie?"

  He flinches as if I just psychically slapped him. "I didn't record a sex tape," he says in a weak voice.

  "Um, that’s funny because people have seen it." I hope I don't throw up again. I have a few times since hearing about it.

  His eyes look away from me and stares off somewhere in the distance. Mine, however, cannot leave his face. He swallows hard and looks to be thinking about what to say. I'm in such a daze I'm a little startled when he actually starts to speak. "I was fucking pissed at you Cassie. Pissed!" His voice is rough, like he is both angry and saddened. "I'm not going to lie, she isn't the only bitch I've slept with. You cheated on me and I tried to look past it, I tried to work shit out with you, I tried to be your friend. You fucking hurt me though... a lot. And I know damn well I haven't been good to you. We're perfect together, but then again, we're not."

  He finally looks at me and I can see his jaw tightening as his teeth work their way back and forth. "I didn't know she had a damn video recorder on. I'm sorry that you found out, and I'm pissed that shit is all over the internet now, but I'm not sorry I fucked her."

  My tears thicken in my eyes but I remain silent. I deserve that.

  He continues after a few moments of silence. "You can hate me forever if you want to, and I'll understand, but I'll always love you and only you. I came back here to fight for you Cassie. To be yours. For you to be mine. I came back to make things right. I just don't know if I can anymore." His voice loses its power at the end of the sentence and my heart shatters just a little more.

  "Is it because of Pierce?" I whisper. I shouldn't even ask. I shouldn't even care. Knowing I shouldn't isn't stopping me though, because I do. I want to know why he won't fight for me anymore.

  He slides off the bed and turns to look at me, his eyes sad and his lips quivering just slightly. My heart rate accelerates once more as confusion invades me. He looks defeated, like he is completely giving up. I should be happy, right? I'm not though. Not at all.

  As he takes a few steps backwards, making his way towards the door entrance, he looks me directly in the eyes. "You don't do a good job of hiding things." He turns and leaves as I sit here and wonder just what he is talking about. I don't do a good job of hiding things? Hiding what?

  I slide out of bed and start to walk after him as it hits me hard. He found it. No!

  I don't care what Evan says, Kal is an idiot. Marie has emailed and called me a dozen times to tell me how frustrated she is and how he is just not getting the simple concept of answering the phone. Finally I make my way down to the main floor to see first-hand what the hell he is messing up this time. If not for my brother, I'd fire this guy right here, right now, but I owe my brother and he owes this guy, so I'll give him until the end of the week.

  I could always have Cassie or someone fill in for him if I end up firing him after Marie leaves. She needs to go, and she has been nothing but perfect as secretaries go, she deserves to start her new career soon.

  When I walk up to the desk, Kal is too busy paying attention to the broad in front of him instead of the blinking red lights on the phone. I point to the phone and use my stern voice. "You going to answer the phones or flirt all day?" I stand tall, allowing myself to intimidate him. His eyes widen before grabbing the phone and pressing on the first red button.

  The female with short dark hair, light eyes, and a flirty smile looks over at me and widens her lips. With a few steps in my direction and the click of her heals, she puts out a hand for me to shake. Being a business man, I shake the lady's hand, especially since she is wearing a tailored dress suit. I can assume she works for a well-paid facility. "Mr. Danielson, I presume?"

  "That would be correct, Ms.?"

  "Braxton." Her eyes flicker over to Kal. Ah, right, my brother did say Kal was gay, so I guess it makes sense he wasn't flirting. Its most likely a sister, possibly a cousin, but now that I look at her, they're most certainly related.

  "Nice to meet you Ms. Braxton, I'm Pierce, Kal's new boss. I don't mind a quick conversation, but he is new today and has a lot to learn through the week. I'd really appreciate it if you could leave him to his work."

  "It's no problem at all. I'm actually here to see you, but I was talking to him for a quick moment before I made my way up."

  "May I ask why you're here to see me?"

  She loves back over to Kal before glancing at me again. "Business, Mr. Danielson. If you don't mind, could I please steal a few moments?"

  I wave my hand in the direction of the elevator. "I'll be right there." She walks in the direction as I make my way towards Marie and Kal. When he places the phone down and scribbles a few things on a notepad, he looks up to me, fear in his eyes. "Don't pull my strings." I give him a stern look before turning around and walking towards the elevator as well. If he thinks his sister or cousin can get in here to meet with me because of him, I'll be damned. I'm letting her up because I happen to have a free spot in my schedule, but I hate when people use connections to meet with me. I'm too busy for that shit. You call, schedule an appointment, and I'll meet with you when available. No way do I ever let people into my office for the sake of knowing someone at the front desk. Family and Cassie, are my two exceptions.

  Well, until now that is, I guess.

  "Ms. Braxton, please have a seat," I tell her, pointing to the available chair across from my desk, as I take my own seat. "Why do I have the pleasure of meeting you today?"

  "Please, call me Miah," she says with a smile. "I help run Mumford and Braxton Corporation, I'm sure you've heard of it."

  "Yes, they're a great company. Great competition," I admit. They're based out of Seattle, so they aren't a local competition, and that helps me respect the company even more.

  She nods and her smile spreads. "Yes, that is true. That is part of the reason why I'm here. I'd like our companies to merge."

  I immediately dismiss the idea. "No, that isn't going to happen. We're doing great as is, and I'd really rather not have any major changes. It could ruin our company completely."

  "I get why you're concerned," she says. I can sense she isn't worried about it at all. "I brought all the paperwork for you to look over. If all goes as planned, we could both grow our companies into so much more. You have your re
sources, we have ours, and together, we can combine them. We're in different locations, so that helps too. We can market further, have better finances. Just please look at the charts and tell me your thoughts again. You don't have to decide today, but I'd really like you to think on it."

  I look over the paperwork she hands me, and it all seems like a great plan but I'm still not sure. The numbers look great, but it'll be great if everything goes the way she has decided it should go. What if something happens and I lose this business my dad has worked so hard to grow? "I'll need to talk with my father and brother, since we make all decisions together. I'll get back to you when I find out."

  "Of course, Mr. Danielson." She stands up and bends a little towards me over the desk, putting her hand out for me to shake. I can't help the feeling that she is flirting with me, or at least attempting to. She is a looker, that much is for damn sure, but I don't give her the benefit of knowing that.

  I stand up and accept her hand. "Thank you. Can I have your number so I can call you later? I can’t promise when it'll be, but I'll attempt to have it done by the end of the week. I'll call my father when you leave."

  "I'd love to leave my number with you." She grabs a paper and pen, scribbling down her name and number on it. "Until I see you again." She turns on her heels and leaves the room.

  I call my father immediately after and talk to him about. He then adds Evan into the conversation, and three of us talk about wanting to make it happen. It happens a lot faster than I expected it to. My dad didn't even care about seeing the numbers, he just went by what I told him and asked me to set up a meeting.

  For some odd reason I get a nervous feeling about calling Miah, but I do and we get everything set up. Now I just need to go tell Cassie that I'm going to have to leave for a few days for Seattle. I hope she doesn't get too upset with me.

  "Get me another drink," I tell the bartender, waving a fifty at him.

  He slides me a whiskey on the rocks the same time he pulls the bill out of my hand. I slush the amber liquid around for a moment, reminding myself of my father. His choice liquor, especially when he is feeling like shit. Well, we're two fucking peas in a pod.

  I mumble out a cheers before throwing the burning hot liquid down my throat. I suck in a breath through my teeth as I slam the almost empty glass down onto the bar top. The chair next to me slides out and I turn to face Katie. I want to rip her throat out but I stop myself.

  "Hey tiger," she says, while running her claws down my arm. I clench my teeth together while gripping a little harder onto my tumbler. This bitch has no idea how bad I want to knock her fucking teeth down her throat.

  "Let’s get straight to the damn point. How much is it going to cost to get the damn video off the internet?"

  "Well, what’s the point?" She shrugs her purse off her shoulder and puts her fingers up to call the bartender back over. She gets all cozied up next to me and it pisses me off even more. Well, what’s the point? Fuck off!

  "The point is I didn't exactly want my cock and balls on the fucking internet, especially in association with you."

  The bartender chokes on nothing when he pauses in front of us, hearing my words. I ignore that fact while I burn my eyes into Katie. She orders some prissy fruity drink before twisting to face me again, her lips smirking in a vicious way. "It's been uploaded on a lot of sites, Avery, and not just by me. It spread like wildfire. Everyone has already seen it. Its nothing now, no one cares. Plus, one day you'll be famous, and I'll be known."

  "As a dirty whore."

  "Your point?" She takes a sip of the drink placed in front of her and she points at me with a wink to the bartender, indicating that I'm paying for it.

  "Fuck no, I ain't paying for that shit."

  She rolls her eyes while digging into her purse, then she slides a ten to the guy who doesn't seem too impressed by Katie. I don't blame him. Fucking money hungry mooch.

  "Like I was saying," she continues, "your point? I don't care what people think of me, the fact of the matter is, they'll be thinking of me. I'll be remembered. I'll be talked about. And with a future career as a model and hopefully actress, I need that kind of publicity. You'll be famous, so it'll make everything better. Therefore, nothing you pay me will make a difference, I'm not taking shit down."

  Just as she is taking the final sips of her drink through the straw, I pour the rest of my whiskey into her cup and I storm off. I hear her mutter a few curse words under her breath and laughter erupt from the seats on either side of where we were sitting. Obviously people were listening in and agree that she is a rueful bitch.

  I dial Austin's number but after several rings it goes to voicemail. Next I try Mason and its the same thing. Last, I call my dad. Fuck. Everyone is busy. Its middle of the day during a work week, of course they're all busy! I'll just head back to Cassie's place. She is probably gone by now, and if she isn't, I'm sure as shit she'll be hiding out from me. She is good at keeping people away when she wants to.

  Once I'm parked, of course next to Cassie's car, I slide off the bike and make my way in. I can only fucking hope she is with Aubrey or someone but I'm sure I have no such luck. I wiggle the knob and its unlocked so I enter the place. I either need to get shit straightened out with her and get a key, or I need to pack my shit up and head to my dad’s. I won't bother with it right now though, instead I head to my room.

  I lay down and drum my fingers, whistling out a tune I've been working on. I'm almost finished with it but now I'm thinking its all for nothing. A crash stops me mid verse and I listen with more focus. I hear her feminine voice yell out a curse. There is music playing softly in her room and it makes me wonder if she even knows I'm here.

  Not sure what to do, I continue to lay here and wonder what is going on in there. What she is doing and if she just dropped something or if she intentionally broke something. Is she that upset? She is either unfocused or pissed, but either way I know the reason behind it. Its the same reason I'm both unfocused and pissed.

  Of course when it comes to her I can’t resist, so I stand up and make my way towards the hall. I listen outside her door for a moment and I can hear talking. Or singing? I press my ear a little closer to the door and its obvious she is talking. She is arguing. With herself. I can't help the smile on my lips because it is way too funny. She is muttering to herself about how pissed she is, how many mistakes she’s made, how to make things right.

  After what has probably been ten minutes I knock on her door. I know she hears me because her voice immediately cuts out. I slowly open her door and lean against the threshold as she stays paused in the middle of the floor. Her room is disastrous. Clothes are thrown all over the place, pictures tossed all over her bed, paper ripped up here and there. Her face is streaked in tears, and both her cheeks and neck are blotchy.

  I walk towards her as she shakes in place and I wrap her in my arms. "Its okay Cassie. I don't hate you."

  "I hate myself," she mutters.

  I didn't realize it'd hurt to breath just by having her so damn close to me yet so fucking far from me.

  I almost can't help the tears welling in my eyes. She is obviously hurting a lot, and stressed, and scared. I look towards the bed and realize the paper that is ripped up is all the letters I sent her while gone. I wonder if she read them before now or if this is the first time. The pictures are mostly of us but I do spot two of her and Pierce together. She has a shoe box filled with random things, half of them still in the box, some laying on her bed, others on the floor next to the bed. She is in full stress mode.

  "This can't be healthy..."

  She cuts me off. "Its fine."

  "Okay," I whisper. Shit. I thought I was going to stay away from her, at least right now. I can't. I want to help her, to protect her. I want to be everything she needs. But its very obvious I'm the last thing she needs right now. In fact, I should probably leave her alone. I just, I just can't.

  I try to coo her as she shakes within my arms. After a few minutes I pull us
both towards the hallway. She doesn't fight me off, which surprises me. When we get into my room, I lay her down on my bed and kneel down next to the bed, running my hand down her arm. She turns her head to face me with pleading eyes. "Don't tell anyone, please."

  "I won't, but don't you think you should?"

  She slowly closes her eyes and starts to chew on the dry skin of her bottom lip. "I did." Her voice is soft and I almost missed what she said.

  "Oh. I guess I just assumed."

  Her eyes open and they're filled with water. "Well not really. You're the only one that knows. But its someone. Right?" Her lips quiver and tears start to fall on the blanket under her head. I run my finger under them and watch the terrified beauty lying before me.

  I ignore her question and decide to be the friend she so obviously needs right now. "How far along are you?"

  "I don't know, a few weeks... months. I think maybe in my second trimester already."

  Instinctively I run my hand over her stomach, under the oversized tee-shirt she has on, and I can feel the smallest hard lump in its place. "Have you not been to the doctors?"

  She shakes her head no. Her hand comes up to pull my hand away but I don't let her. No, instead I place her hand under mine and I make her take notice. I don't know much about pregnancies, but she is way too small to be as far along as she thinks she is. She also should have been to a doctor by now.

  "I'll go with you," I tell her.

  Her eyes widen and she softly gasps. "Avery, I don't expect you to go with me. This isn't-"

  "I know," I tell her. "I know, Cassie. But I do love you and I want to be here for you, anyway I can." I can't help the emotion inside me right now. I've lost her as my future, but I'll always have her as a friend. I guess being her friend is better than nothing. Its a sad, cruel reality, but I'll take it. Hell, I deserve it.

  I wake up just after four in the afternoon. I stare at the blinking red dots between the four and the zero on the alarm clock while I think about my life. All the shit I've been through. All the shit I've done. When I came to college, I came to get good grades, a great degree, go to some parties, make friends, and yes, to sleep around a little. I never wanted to fall in love. And I sure as hell never wanted to get knocked up.