Lasting Attraction

by Ashley Beale

  A sob leaves her mouth and she hurries to cover it up. She nods her head quickly as the tears flow even heavier. She pulls her hand from her mouth and says, "Okay. I... I understand."

  "I'll love you forever, Cassandra."

  She hops off her stool and hugs me tight to her. "I'll love you forever, too. God I'll love you forever."

  We separate and walk towards the door together slowly. "Will you please tell me when we can do the paternity testing?"

  "I have an appointment in four weeks, and at that appointment I'll know the date. I'll let you know."

  I grab her cheeks in my hands and just stare at her. I cannot believe I just did that. I just said goodbye to Cassie, and that was the end of us. All this time together, the love we've share, it'll all be gone the second I walk out this door. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, you better let me know. And if Avery hurts you, so help me God, I will fucking murder him."

  "But Avery and I aren't-"

  "Stop wasting your time, Cassie. It'll never be anyone but Avery for you."

  I kiss her forehead and walk out the door before she can stop me. A few more tears fall from my eyes but I quickly wipe them and continue my tread to my truck. Once I hop in, I drive around for three hours until I'm running out of gas and I'm still nowhere. When I realize there is no way in hell I'll be able to sleep tonight, I drive to the gym and get all my frustrations out on a punching bag. I have a feeling I'll be visiting the gym a lot now.

  I thought the fucker wasn't supposed to show up until tomorrow. Fuck it. The little fantasy world I woke up in disappeared the second we pulled into the parking lot. I saw him leaning against his truck but I was hoping Cassie hadn't, but of course the second we climbed out of her car she didn't take a second glance in my direction.

  I arrive at Austin's just minutes later, not sure where else to go. I know I have to go to my mom's tonight for dinner, so I won't be here long, but I'm sure Cassie and Pierce need alone time. Fuck! Why would I even think about that shit? I just wish they'd break up once and for all.

  When Cassie told her mom about being pregnant, I saw the look she gave me. It was pride. She was glad I was the father. Except, reality came crashing down, proving it was just a little dream, because dammit I'm not the father. Or I could be. We don't know yet. And this shit is... well... its bullshit.

  Thankfully Austin is around today and I'm able to get my mind off that bullshit. I can't help checking my phone ever ten or twenty minutes to make sure I don't miss dinner at my mom's. I don't even want to see my mom, and I definitely don't want to see Cassie's dad, but I want to be there for her. I want to prove to her that I'm going to stick around this time.

  Two hours of playing Call of Duty, I tell Austin I'll see him later. I'm glad I can just go there and blow off steam, without having being asked about Cassie or my fighting or anything else in my life. We can laugh, joke, and I can focus my attention on something else. We make plans to play golf next weekend, just the two of us and no girls whatsoever. It'll be good to have guy time with Austin.

  When I arrive back to Cassie's apartment my first thought is how glad I am to see Pierce's truck gone. Then I think about the fact that since I'm here to stay now, I have absolutely no idea if I'm allowed to stay in that extra room or not. I may have to find a roommate or something, which sucks ass.

  I decide to ask Cassie after dinner. I'm not sure why, but I knock on the door when I get to outside her apartment. She opens the door and cocks her head to the side. "You don't have to knock, you know."

  "I guess I was just making sure you were alone."

  She snorts out a very unattractive laugh but its adorable on her. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."

  I pause right before I'm about to head down the hall. She just walks to the living room, plopping down on the couch and grabbing the remote to continue watching whatever show she has on now. "What did you say?" I ask.

  She looks over at me and lifts her brows. "I said you don't have to worry anymore."

  I walk until I'm in front of her and grab the remote out of her hand, pausing her damn Netflix shit. When I look back at her, its then I notice the bloodshot eyes and dry lips. She’s been crying and is usually pointless TV shows stop herself from overthinking. Fuck, how did I not notice this?

  "What did he do? You know I'll find him and I will kick his god damn ass." I start to walk towards the door again when she yells at me to stop. I turn back and look at her confused. "What? You need to tell me what that prick did!"

  "Nothing you haven't done, Avery. Nothing I haven't done. Who cares! You and I are not together, stay out of my business. Pierce and I broke up, we've decided we're not good together, and that is that. I was planning on leaving him anyways, I just hadn't expected this shit to hurt quite this much!"

  She grabs a pillow, hugs it to her chest and bites down on her bottom lip while looking away from me. "Oh." I don't know what else to say. I want to tell her I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm fucking thrilled. I hate that she hurts, but finally. Finally Pierce is out of the damn picture.

  "Are we still going to dinner together?"

  She looks back over to me and nods her head. "Yeah, I want to finish this episode first."

  I walk over and sit next to her on the couch, putting my arm over her shoulder and pulling her into me. We finish this girly show of hers, that I'll never admit I actually somewhat enjoy watching, then she goes into her bedroom to get ready for dinner.

  On the ride over, I look over to see her leaning her head against the passenger side window, quiet and lost in thought. I really do hate that she is hurting. I lay my hand on her leg and continue watching the road in front of me. The only time my hand leaves her leg is when I pull into her dad's house. It’s weird coming here, knowing my mom know lives here too. I don't think this is something I can get used to.

  We all sit at the table and their new house maid delivers us a pretty delicious meal. No matter how great the food is, the awkwardness at the table makes this a horrible dinner. Once we're done eating, we go into the remodeled family room, which I can tell irritates Cassie, and we all sit down in different chairs. I sit close to Cassie but I don't hold her like I did at her mom's.

  "So you're really done fighting?" My mom asks, not too impressed at all. Of course she isn't impressed, its money down the drain.

  "Yup," I give her a curt answer.

  "You do know you're ruining your future, right?"

  "I got a job with Mason at the garage."

  She clears her throat and plays with her pearl necklace, probably embarrassed to have a son working in a garage. She was always a great mom, hell I'm sure she still is, but she used to be proud of me, used to support any of my choices, now she acts too good for me. She had a damn affair with her best friend’s husband, she doesn't have the right to think she is better than me. I don't say as much though, I just let her know by my actions I don't care what she thinks of me anymore.

  She turns her attention to Cassie without saying more to me. "How are you Cassie? How is Pierce? You two still doing well?"

  Cassie gives her a closed lip smile. She loathes my mom, and I don't blame her. I don't think she is all too crazy about her dad still either, but since we didn't exactly talk the last three months, I'm not sure if they've gotten closer or not. "We broke up, and I'm not doing the best but not because of that."

  "Oh?" My mom actually seems concerned, wow.

  Cassie's dad interrupts though. "What is the matter, Cassandra? What happened?"

  She rolls her eyes. "I'm knocked up and I don't know who the father is. I'm exhausted and need to get home to eat junk food and watching mindless television." She stands and walks towards the exit, but her dad slams his fist down on the table, jumping both Cassie and myself. Hell, I think he just jumped himself with that loud thump.

  Cassie twirls around and I stand up, almost as if that'll protect her. Protect her from what? I have no idea. I just feel the need to. "What a damn minute. What did you just say?"
Her father stands and points his finger in her direction. "Do not just tell me you're knocked up and leave!"

  "You know, I'd learn to respect you if you weren't still with her!" She points her finger towards my mom. "I just don't want to be in this house with her, in the room you never spent time in, but mom and I did. I try so damn hard every time I'm here to connect with you dad, but I just can't. I'm sorry! But yes, you're going to be a grandpa."

  "Avery, do you know anything about this?" Her dad turns to me and asks, ignoring his daughter. I don't know the exact reason Cassie just blew up the way she did, but I'm sure it doesn't help matters any that he just asked me about his own child, who is standing in front of him. The whole situation just got twice as awkward and really, all I want to do is leave.

  I clear my throat and look back to Cassie, who is pleading with those hazel eyes for me to follow her. I look back at her dad. "I'm sorry, its not up to me to tell you about your daughter. But with all due respect, I do believe you need to take some time out of your schedule to talk with her one on one. Pay attention to her life and the things going on in it."

  Without so much as a glance in my mom's direction, I walk to Cassie, grab her hand, and walk with her out of the house. When we get in the car, I look to her and ask what that was about. She looks down, almost as if she was embarrassed by her outburst.

  "That room is the only room my mom designed, and its the only room completely changed. There was our family portrait over the mantel, and now its a picture of your mom and my dad. I only saw one picture of me, and it was my senior picture over by the piano. Not even one of my dad and I. Plus, my dad never went into that room, ever, and now he is sitting in there comfortably. I'm sorry if it sounds childish, but it really bothered me a lot."

  "It's not childish, angel. I understand completely. You just kind of took me by surprise in there, and I think you surprised everyone else too."

  "Good," she mutters with her arms crossed, not looking in my direction.

  I let her have her little fit. After all, she is pregnant, and I do remember that Aubrey was much worse than what Cassie seems to be.

  I make a pit stop at the store and tell Cassie to hold on. She sits patiently in the car while I run in and grab two things of ice cream, some chocolate bars, and a bag of chips. When I get to the register, I buy a few scratch tickets and have him put everything in a paper bag.

  She never questions what I buy, and when we get back to the apartment, I tell her to go get pj's on. I set up our little junk feast, grabbing soda from the fridge, placing it all on the floor in the living room. I run to my room, strip out of my jeans and my shirt, then sliding into a pair of gym shorts. I grab my comforter and two pillows off the bed and meet Cassie as she is coming out of the bathroom.

  "I think I'm going to go to bed," she says, rubbing her eyes.

  "Oh." I pause and she looks down at my pillows and comforter in confusion. "I just was hoping to have a movie night with you."

  She looks up to me surprisingly. "Really?"

  "Um, yeah?" I say as more of a question.

  She grins largely. "Avery, you have no idea how much this means to me." My heart rate picks up momentarily between seeing her smile and hearing her being so excited by my simple gesture.

  We sit on the floor and eat over half of what I bought, laughing and talking and actually enjoying each other's company completely. I give her the scratch tickets and she actually giggles in delight, happy over something so funny. She ends up winning two dollars, out of the twenty I spent, but I'm happy for her.

  Once we're both full and exhausted, we lay together on the floor and become engrossed with the movie playing on the television. Before I know it, Cassie's arm is thrown over my chest and she is cuddled up next to me, breathing heavily while she sleeps. I watch her for a while before I'm also succumbed to sleep as well.

  Each day passing since saying goodbye to Pierce has gotten easier. I have had Sara Evan's, A Little Bit Stronger on replay, because it gives me this unique power of moving on and being okay with what happened. I have only spoken to him once since we split up four weeks ago, and that was about two weeks ago. He actually showed up with a box of my stuff that was left at his apartment and I gave him his stuff that was left here. We had an awkward "catch up" conversation that lasted about three minutes before he left, and that was that.

  Avery still lives with me, and a few times we've cuddled and hugged, even kissed more than a handful times, but the second it gets a little steamy between the two of us, I back off and stop it from going any further. I'm proud of myself for having the willpower, because I am desperately wanting more of him. I want to know that if we do end up together, its not because of the sexual chemistry. I want it because we actually love each other. We're testing each other’s limits, but in a different way. We're living together, and getting along well.

  He tells me day in and day out, no matter what the outcome of the paternity test is, that he wants to be with me and only me. That part he has done well with proving, even though there will always be that little bit of self-doubt.

  Aubrey and I have started getting a little closer again, which has been the best thing to happen to me in the past few weeks. Not that we were arguing or anything like that, we just distanced each other. Now that I think of it, I think it may have had to do more with me being with Pierce than with her being a new mom and wife, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, we've set aside Tuesdays for us, no matter what, and we try to talk each day. It's nice to have my best friend back in my daily life rather than weekly.

  Today is my last appointment before I find out the sex and the father of my child. Avery has been working with Mason in a garage, and although he has only been there three weeks, he took a half day today just so he could attend the appointment with me. It makes my heart swell every time he treats my baby like it's his. I hate referring to my baby as an it, but I hate fetus even more. I've heard others give their babies nicknames, but to me, I just can't. I've thought of names, but none are exactly unisex, or set in stone, so I haven't called he or she any of those. So sadly for now, its my baby or it.

  While waiting on Avery to come home, I decide to make some English muffin pizzas, loaded with sliced pickles. I make a root beer float as well, then sit down at the bar with my delicious food. Just as I'm finishing up, Avery comes in looking like the most scrumptious grease monkey there could ever possibly be. There is something about seeing him in that blue jumpsuit and having grease smeared all over his face and hands. It makes between my legs wet just at one glance. So I look away.

  "Just gotta shower," he says as he walks past. He grabs the last bite of my English muffin and tosses into his mouth without another word.

  Of course I just laugh at him and shake my head. After I rinse my sink in the dish and finish off the last of my float, I put my sandals on and wait patiently.

  "Cassie!" Avery yells from the bathroom.

  With a sigh, because I'm almost too content to move, I stand up and make my way towards the bathroom. I open the door just a little. "Yes?"

  "I forgot a damn washcloth. Can you get me one?"

  I grab a washcloth from the vanity drawer and toss it over the top of the curtain. "There you go."

  As I'm walking out the door, he catches my attention. "Hey Cass?"

  I pause with my hand on the door handle. "Yes, Avery?"

  He chuckles softly. "Want to come wash the hard to reach places?"

  I roll my eyes even though he can't see me, then I walk out, closing the door behind me without so much as a word. I can hear him laughing in the bathroom and I can't help the ridiculous grin on my face. Or the fact that was the most tempting thing I've had to walk away from in days. I'm in dire need of some new batteries.

  Avery is all smiles today and he almost seems to have an extra skip in his step. When we get into the car, his knee bounces as he sings along to Darius Rucker. Seriously, this guy in all his masculinity- tattoos, grease and scars- and he loves to sing country music.
Of course he has his flaws, but its no wonder I look past them all and just melt into the perfection that is Avery Manning.

  When the song ends, he looks over at me without any embarrassment for his sexy dorkiness. "What has you all hyped up?" I ask.

  His eyes roam my body for a quick moment before he looks at the road again. "What? I can't be happy?"

  "Of course you can. I love when you're happy. I'm just curious what has you extra... peppy."

  "Peppy?" he questions with a laugh. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

  Of course when those words leave his mouth, I instantly worry. Could he have finally gotten some piece of ass elsewhere since I haven't given it up? Is he talking to someone? Is he going to start fighting again? Ugh, of course everything negative comes rushing to the forefront of my mind.

  "Hey," he says softly, grabbing my attention again. I look over at him but I'm unable to smile like I was just seconds ago. His hand moves from the shifter to my leg and he rubs it before giving it a light slap. "Cheer up beautiful. Don't over analyze. I'm just happy, so smile."

  I roll my eyes and turn up the music on the radio instead of arguing, then the two of us sing along to The Band Perry until we pull into the parking lot of the OB-GYN's.

  Avery actually comes to the back room with me and holds my hand during most of the visit with my doctor. He even asks a few questions, including the embarrassing one, "When will her sex drive kick up?" Both Avery and the doctor laughed about it as my face turned a few shades of pink. He claimed he was kidding but I got the underlining meaning. Instead of being annoying about the situation, I just let it slide and continued on with the actual questions I did have.

  Near the end, he goes over what will happen in exactly four weeks from now for the paternity testing. Just the thought of it, even being a month away, has me feeling depressed and nauseous.