by Ashley Beale
"Fuck off." I get out of the car and slam the door, once again. Of course, of all days, this has to be the one that we blow up at each other. I knew these past few weeks of pure bliss would be ruined in a matter of time. Damn hormones, and sleeping around, and love, and all this other bullshit. I'm done with it. I'm so damn sick and tired of it.
I take a few deep breaths before ordering my coffee, and with my stomach all in a mess, I keep it just at that. I sit down near a window and look out towards the car. Avery is talking on the phone and I can see him expressing his frustration with me. He looks downright pissed, and I really don't blame him, but I did try to apologize.
Knowing we both need a few moments, I just sit her and sip on my coffee. When I'm down to the last drops, I glance out towards the car again and see Avery just leaning back in the seat, relaxing and waiting. I feel guilty- yet again!
The second I slide into the passenger seat, he leans over and lays his lips on mine. "I'm sorry too," he says quickly. His green eyes bore into my own and I can't help the smile that comes to my face. God he is just so ridiculously handsome.
"It's a stressful day. I didn't mean to react the way I did."
"I know, I know. Let's go home and watch a movie and eat some food. I'm not sure what else I can handle before this damn ultrasound."
I have to agree with Avery completely.
The first part of the doctor’s appointment went about the same as normal. It was quick and to the point, just how I was hoping it would be. Now I lay here on a lounger and await the ultrasound technician to finish prepping everything. Pierce stands near my feet and Avery at my side. When the three of us walked in at the same time, the poor lady almost had a heart attack. I'm sure she sees similar things, but I'm sure half the guys that come in here don't look like Pierce and Avery do.
She doesn't ask much, just how I'm feeling and I've felt the baby kick yet, which sadly I haven't. According to my OB, it's pretty normal with the first pregnancy, but it scares me since a lot of people have been asking me the last three weeks now. Its another reason I've been incredibly nervous about this ultrasound. I want to make sure everything is alright with the baby, but if its not, I'm not sure I could handle it at this point.
I've had two other ultrasounds, but those were early on. Online research has made me terrified of any and everything.
I pull up my tank top when asked, and she squirts on the warm gunk, massaging it in with the wand. Just then a tiny blurb pops up on the screen and I can see what looks like the profile of an actual baby. It looked nothing like this before.
"Oh my God," I say immediately, reacting differently than I thought I would. I look over to Avery and then at Pierce. They're both just staring at the screen in amazement and the only thing I feel like doing is crying all of a sudden. I turn my attention back to the screen and watch as the technician presses buttons and zooms in in different places.
She explains the hands and arms, feet and legs, all the measurements, the head circumference, all that stuff I had no idea that even went on during an ultrasound. When she is finally done with everything, she looks over at me with a very content smile on her face. "Well, you certainly have yourself one very healthy baby. With the measurements, I'd say you're right on track, and the baby is fifteen ounces, which is a great weight. Do you have any questions?"
"Um, I don't think so?" I don't have much too even think about, I'm still absorbing all the information she just told me. I'm pretty sure in this moment, right here, its the first time I've felt like a mom. Wow, a mother. I'm going to be a mother. It just hit me out of the blue. Obviously I knew that before, but the realization of it never felt surreal until this moment right here.
"I do," Avery says from beside me. The lady looks up at him and asks what his question is the same time I turn my head to face him. "Can we find out if it's a boy or girl yet?"
"Please," Pierce adds in.
She laughs and looks at me. "Well, that is all up to mommy here."
"Yeah," I blurt out really fast. I was so mad at Aubrey for making me wait. I'm actually surprised I didn't ask the lady already, I've been anxiously waiting since I found out I was pregnant what I was going to be having.
"Well, it looks as though you are going to have yourself one very healthy, happy baby boy."
"A boy?" The tears break through and I close my eyes, basking in the moment. I kind of wish my mom were here with me to celebrate this moment. I want to hug someone, I want to hold them, but I'm almost too scared to do that with Avery, because I don't want Pierce to feel left out. Then if I hug Pierce too, I don't want to anger Avery. So instead I just lay here, allowing myself to soak in the news. I'm going to have myself a baby boy in a handful of months.
"Why don't you get yourself cleaned up while I do the same? I have some ultrasound pictures here for you, that you can keep, and then you'll be all set to go."
Once we leave the room, I give Pierce a hug anyways, although its a hug you'd give a teacher or something. It's awkward and quick, but I felt I owed it to him. I tell him I'll call him when I find out the results from the DNA testing, and he says his goodbyes. Avery and I let him leave before us, and the second he is out the door, Avery pulls me into him, giving me the biggest hug in the world.
"I cannot believe we're going to be having a baby boy. I'm so happy, Cassie, you have no idea." He kisses the top of my head.
Once we're back in the car and heading back to the apartment, I call Aubrey first, then my parent’s one at a time, to tell them the news, the same time Avery calls his family and friends. Everyone is thrilled about the news, as I knew they would be. Honestly, I wouldn't have cared if it were a boy or girl one bit, I was just happy to be having a healthy baby, but I feel as though having a boy just seemed right. Then again, the past few years have proven that I'm not exactly good with boys.
The night is celebrated with lots and lots of sex, some ice cream, some pizza, and even more sex. I'm disappointed when we go to bed and there is no phone call from the lab, but they did say it could be a couple days, depending on how busy they were.
The next day Aubrey picks me up and we head out to go do some shopping. My mom mentioned something about making a registry, and although I don't know much about it, we head to a few stores to do just that. Once I'm at the first store, the lady at the counter explains everything and gives me a wand. Probably the best invention ever. Aubrey and I walk around the store and I get to scan everything I want for my son, and people can purchase it for me for the baby shower.
It's actually harder than I thought it would be. Find a crib I like, with a cute baby boy set that goes well with the crib, then all the matching decorations for the room. Then the other furniture like the glider chair, changing table, different brand of diapers. It's very overwhelming and I'm sure I'd have been in tears within five minutes if Aubrey wasn't walking me through the process.
In fact, a few times Dakota would coo at a certain item in such a way that I had to add it to the registry. It was like baby intuition. She just happened to know my baby would like that too.
"Have you thought of names yet?" Aubrey asks when we leave the store three hours later.
I look over at her, disgusting by the fact I have to think once again. Right now, my brain is fried learning all the new information I just did about babies and all the requirements.
"No. I haven't thought about a name at all actually. I've been waiting to find out who the father is, so we could agree on a name together. If she were a girl, she would have had the middle name Aubrey, but that is all I knew."
"Aw, you're so sweet. Now I feel guilty I didn't have your name incorporated into Dakota's."
"Stop it, I love her name."
Aubrey smiles over at me as she continues pushing the stroller. We decided to grab some lunch since its getting around that time, and in a place where Dakota can be fed too. "Have you thought about his last name at all?"
I look over at her and give her a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"I guess I didn't think about that. But... yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. Just didn't know if it'd be your last name or one of the guy's."
"One of the guy's," I say with an eye roll. "Man, I really am a slut."
"A pregnant slut that will most certainly be a milf," she says with a wink.
We get seated at an outdoor luncheon and each order a drink. While she situates Dakota, I feel my phone vibrate and pull it out of my pocket. Its a private number so I immediately shriek and hit the green button on my phone. "Hello?"
"Hello, is this Cassandra McKnight?"
"Yes, this is she."
"Ms. McKnight, this is Phyllis Guthurtt from Millis Labs, calling about your results for a paternity test."
"Yes, absolutely."
The pause has my heart rate accelerating. "The test results show that the biological father is..."
I can't believe I'm bringing Miah home to my family. It took me forever to bring Cassie home to meet everyone. It took over a year for me to introduce her to my parents. I guess it is different that Miah has met and worked with my father, and she has more of a head on her shoulders, but still, it seems way too soon.
The biggest difference is Miah asked to have dinner with my parents. Cassie did everything in her power not to meet them. She met my brother a couple dozen times, but not my parents. They liked her a lot, but I could tell they passed a lot of judgment on her, probably because of things my brother had said about her. Or the fact they knew we were on-again, off-again way too often.
They don't know that Miah and I have gotten anything close to serious, but honestly, I didn't even know. It just happened. After that day in the office, we went on our date, then another, and well, another. Eventually it became a routine thing, and although we haven't defined our relationship, I can feel it becoming more. I can't help the fact I still love Cassie and some nights I lay awake at night regretting ever letting her go, but I knew it was what had to be done.
If I wasn't sure before today, now I'm positive. Her and Avery, they just belong. It hurts fucking hell. I almost couldn't look at her today, especially with her tiny belly, knowing the chances of that growing baby could be mine.
So I'm not sure what this thing with Miah is, but I know that I'm willing to give a chance. She is here for me, I'm there for her, we work together, we're both closer in age, and its been great. That girl isn't very shy about telling me what she wants, when she wants, and how. Damn if I don't love that about her.
And no, I don't love her. Nor do I plan on falling any time in the near future. I'm just happy. Its something I sure feel as though I deserve, and damn it feels good. No drama, no ciaos, no confusion- just happiness.
I arrive in front of Miah's apartment and get out of the truck, just as she is making her way towards it. I pull her in for a hug and quick kiss on the mouth. "You sure about this?" I ask her.
She pushes at my shoulder with a faux insulted expression. "Are you saying you don't want me to meet your mother? Seeing as I've already met your brother and dad."
"Not saying that all."
She grins at me and walks towards the passenger side. I open the door for her and she climbs on up.
When I get into my side of the truck and start it up, she looks over at me and bites on that pouty lip of hers. "What do you have planned?" I ask.
"You just look a little stressed."
"I am," I admit.
"I can help with that." I lift a brow as she slides towards me to sit in the middle seat. "Just start the truck and drive," she orders. See, this girl drives me a crazy, but in the best fucking possible way.
I do as she says, cranking the engine and heading out towards to my parent's house. I get just out of the busy part of the city when Miah starts to pull her pants off. I look over at her like she is fucking crazy. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Trust me."
"I do trust you. I don't trust myself. Fuck, I'm going to crash if you get naked." I try to focus on the road but it’s hard. Yeah, pun intended.
She unzips my pants, and pulls down on them, causing me to lift my ass up so she can get them down to my knees, along with my boxers. Shit, is she about to? Oh, yes, she is.
Miah maneuvers herself so that she is straddling my lap, her head resting on my shoulder so I can still see out the window. Its hard to keep my hands gripped on the wheel, but I manage, even when Miah lowers her wet, heated sex onto my hardened cock. Fuck if this doesn't feel good already. She slides up and down on my shaft, slowly and delicately, but the way we're positioned and the fact I have to concentrate on my speed and on the road, it feels fucking incredible. I don't think I've ever felt something so powerful before.
She continues to ride me that way until she starts coming, and I can no longer concentrate on the road. I whip the truck to the right and park it on the curb, then I quickly grab onto Miah's hips and slam her body up and down on my shaft, quickly coming deep inside her.
"Fuck," I say the second realization hits. "Fuck!" I yell louder. I don't want to scare Miah, or piss her off, but how can I be so fucking stupid? I know how, because I screwed Cassie for so long without a condom, that's how. "Please dear God, tell me you're on birth control."
She stops resting her slumped body against mine and faces me straight on. "I can't have kids, Pierce."
"Wait, what? Why not?"
She looks out the window and looks to be chewing on her inner lip. After a few second of a pause, she faces me again and smiles. "I just can't. I don't know why. I still take it, to regulate my periods, but I was told at seventeen I'd never be able to have kids. I never understood it, but I never questioned it much either. Its why I push so hard at my job, to fill a void or something along those lines." She pulls off me and sits down in the middle seat, grabbing at her underwear and pants to get them on.
After I get my put back on and I bring the truck back onto the road, I reach over and grab her hand. "I'm sorry to hear that, Miah." I'm not sure what else I can say in this situation.
She looks over at me, and I can sense her smiling. "Its okay, I've learned to live with it."
"You shouldn't have to though."
"Yeah, I know," she whispers.
We continue the drive to my parents’ house with the music lowered and no talking. Just as we're about to pull in the driveway, I look in Miah's direction. "None of your kinkery here." I wink as she bashfully grins.
Once we're inside my parent's house, I introduce Miah to my mother, who immediately asks a million and one questions. She still is reluctant on any girl, apparently, and I'm assuming its because the relationship I had with Cassie really did a number on me. In fact, my relationship before her did as well. I fucking suck at them!
My father doesn't seem to give two shits either way about my relationship- or non-relationship- with Miah. He is polite and curt with everything he says and does. It really doesn't bother me at all, and it doesn't seem to bother Miah. Evan is extremely nice and pleasing, but I think a lot of that has to do with his new found relationship with Miah's brother. Oh, how that still has an odd feeling, but I don't think I've seen my brother so happy, besides when he had children, so I'm still very happy for him.
We eat a dinner together, where everyone gets along and conversation flows fine. Nothing is asked of yesterday, and I don't think I could be more thankful right now. After dinner, Miah offers to help my mother with the dishes, which I think wins her many bonus points.
Evan and I end up outside on the back deck. Dad decided to turn in early, which really doesn't bother the rest of us. Ever since Evan came out of the closet, he has been a little distant. He didn't discourage him or disown him, or anything like that, but he hasn't exactly been the most supporting father. I think Evan understands it, I even do, too, but I can still feel the hurt radiating off my brother over the situation.
Either way, we ignore our
issues and talk sports for a little while. Something I don't get to stay caught up on as much as I'd like anymore. Miah comes out when she is does with the dishes and sits in the chair next to me. The three of us get lost in a long conversation over nothing, and its a night I've needed in such a long ass time.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and when I pull it out, I look down to see Cassie's name on the caller ID, as well as a notification indicating I had missed calls. I hadn't even noticed them. I stand up and excuse myself while answering the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, its me," her voice sounds so soft, and almost hurt.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, not liking the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach.
"Oh. Did you not receive a call before this? I thought I gave enough time."
I'm confused, I think. "What is going on Cassie? Is everything okay?" I repeat.
I can hear her small sigh and I instantly realize that she is calling about the paternity test. It actually hurts my heart. This feeling in the pit of my stomach, I already know its telling me that the baby is not mine. We're not together, and we're both moving on, so this shouldn't hurt this much? Should it? Why do I feel like I want to fucking slam my fist into something then? Damn this shit.
"The lab called earlier with the results. I thought they would have contacted you. That is why I was waiting. Anyways, do you want to hear it from me or from them?"
"Well, you're on the phone, you might as well say it." I already know the damn answer anyways, I want to say but don't.
She starts to mumble, and although her words are directed towards me, I think she is saying everything more to herself. "I knew I should have done this in person. We should talk. I know its weird, and I'm sorry it is, but shit. I wasn't expecting this, Pierce." Her voice grows louder as her thoughts are obviously a little cleared. "You're the biological father."
"Yeah, I- wait, what? What did you just say?"
"I said you're the father," she nearly whispers, as if she is ashamed.
Fuck, I'm... I'm thrilled! "I am?"