Cake Love: All Things Payne

by Elizabeth Lynx

  I grab the helpless toy and bring it to my face.

  "Grrr! I'm doing it again. Please help me." I squeeze the unicorn tightly in my hands just as the sound of the door opens. Quickly I put down the stuffed animal and take a seat as if I wasn't just talking to a unicorn posing as a therapist.

  "Ah, Mr. Payne there you are. I was discussing David's progress with Ms. Blackburn in David's hospital room."

  They both come inside and the doctor sits at his desk as Tiffany and I sit across the desk from him. I reach over and entwine my fingers into hers. She gives me a sad smile. Shit, this isn't good.

  "So, will he wake up? You only specified a slight chance of him not waking after surgery. I don't understand what’s wrong?"

  I’m pissed. He is supposedly the best neurosurgeon in the world; now Tiffany's son won't wake from the surgery he had a few days ago. The surgery that would help improve verbal and physical function in his body. Maybe help the eleven year old boy walk for the first time. This is now all for nothing as he may be in a coma for the rest of his life.

  "There’s always a risk Mr. Payne. I know things seem bleak right now, but the brain is an amazing organ. It does what it needs to heal, sometimes better than any doctor can ever do. There is no doubt in my mind that David will wake from the coma. It may take days or weeks, maybe even months, but when he does I believe he will surprise all of us at how quickly things progress. I felt proud of the surgery I performed, and so I can honestly say it was a success, but his brain needs to heal and that is what it is doing. Just give it time."

  Tiffany is squeezing my hand and I look over to see her smiling through her tears. We have been through so much together. I feel like David is my son, even though he isn't.

  We met in this very hospital ten years ago, a few days before Christmas. I had been at the office holiday party getting shit faced as I did every year. Who am I kidding; I got drunk a lot back then. Maybe a little more than I should, but I was young, newly rich, and powerful. That was a very lethal combination for a twenty-four year old. My parents had called me and asked if I could pick my little sister up from her friend's house as they needed to attend a social function for the Mayor. My dad was a cool guy; he was an engineer who worked for the city. He liked to take things apart and find out what made them tick. My mom on the other hand, was the social climber. She worked her way up the political scene in the city, so the Mayor's event was huge to her.

  My dad loved me and my sister, Janice, like any dad should. He was more like a kid himself, while Mom was always yelling at us to keep it down. To her, we were accessories she broke out when she wanted to impress people. After that we were not to be heard from.

  So, when my twelve year old sister (as my dad said she was a surprise, though my mom called her an accident) phoned after fighting with her best friend and wanted to come home from a sleep over, guess who my parents turned to? I was in no shape to drive so I told them no.

  An hour later I was contacted by the police department to inform me my parents had been in a car accident. I ran to the hospital to be shuffled into a room with Tiffany. Her husband and one year old son had also been in that accident. The only person who lived was her son, David, but the doctors told her he had brain damage that affected the brain's communication to the muscles in his body, telling her he may never walk again.

  We helped each other through that time. I was at the hospital every day to check on David. I watched him grow into a very happy and determined child. I made sure he got the best treatment, the best wheelchairs, and an in-home nurse to help Tiffany. I never took no for an answer.

  You would think that would have curbed my drinking, but you would be wrong. It got worse, a lot worse. I was drunk just about every day after that. Then about two months later I was in a car accident, luckily it only involved a tree. It was bad and I had to spend several weeks in the hospital and physical therapy. The only thing that kept running through my mind was, what if that tree had been a car that held another family, I would have killed them. From that moment on I didn't drink. That's not totally true. Every year on the anniversary of their death I get drunk because I don't want to be reminded. I miss them so much, even my mom.

  So, as I sit here listening to all the treatments the doctor has planned and specialists David is to see when he wakes, I look at Tiffany and pray that the doctor is right. Not for me, fuck me. What do I matter in the grand scheme of things, but for Tiffany and her little brown eyed boy.

  We leave and head over to David's room. Hugging each other we stare down at him.

  "You need to get laid Henrik."

  I blink and turn my head to see her brown eyes looking up at me.

  "Where the hell did that come from?"

  "You were talking to that stuffed unicorn in Dr. Gerald's office again. You only talk to stuffed inanimate objects when you are sexually frustrated. Who is she?" Tiffany lets go and turns to face me.

  I squint my eyes at her not wanting to talk about it.

  "No one. Nothing. I mean, there is no one."

  "Suit yourself. I just thought you might want a woman's perspective on things."

  She walks over to a chair in the corner and pulls it to David's side. When I try to help I am swatted away.

  Tapping my foot, I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and start to pace.

  "Fine. It's my assistant, her name is Morgana. She just knows how to push my buttons that's all. She irritates me more than anything."

  That’s only half true. Yes, Morgana aggravates me more than any other woman I have ever known, but she also arouses me more than any woman I have ever known (that includes all of the cartoon women I fantasized about in my teens).

  Tiffany nods but keeps her gaze on David, watching the ventilator assist in his breathing. The lack of muscle control in his body also makes it hard for him to breathe, so he has always had a breathing machine.

  "Ah, I get it. Well, I hope you can keep her at a good distance so she doesn't bother you too much."

  But do I want her at a distance? No...yes...no...ugh!

  I proceed to enthrall her with my lavish tales of Morgana. Basically I explain about the fainting and her rumored plans to marry cake. Tiffany laughs but keeps her focus on David. Realizing she needs a break I suggest lunch.

  "It's lunch time why don't I take you to get something to eat? Get out of this fluorescent nightmare and into the fresh arctic Chicago air.”

  "Yes, God I am starving."

  She bends down to kiss David on the forehead.

  "Bye munchkin. Mama loves you. Uncle Henrik and I are going to get lunch. I'll be back later to read you a story. I brought lots of books with me." She stands and wipes a tear from her eye. She needs to get out of here. I wish she had some girlfriends that could take her out. After the accident all her friends drifted away, so we only have each other.

  As good looking as Tiffany is, I see her more like a sister than anything else. She tried something once about a year after the accident, but I was in no mood to date and I really didn't want our relationship destroyed. I feared if we would date and then break up I would never see her and David again. So, things are platonic, which works for me.

  I grab her arm and help her to the elevator. Once we are there I notice her stare off into the distance. That is never a good sign. I need to joke and snap her out of it.

  On our walk down the block in the howling wind I do my best Nicholas Cage impression quoting Raising Arizona and Jeff Bridges as the Dude. She finally cracks a smile when we reach the door to the diner. By the time we are taking off our coats at the table she is laughing hysterically. I admit I have been blessed with the funny. I was kind of the clown in college. Edgar Mimir, my best friend, was known as the Nordic Don Juan, and I was nicknamed the Goof. I was proud of the fact I could make people laugh. During the summer I would take classes at Second City for Improv, a secret passion of mine.

  Before I sit I look around for a waiter to get some menus when I spot her. Morgana is sit
ting in a booth a few tables away, with Evaleen and another blonde.

  "One second Tiffany. I see Morgana, my assistant."

  Like an unsuspecting redneck on a back-country road being pulled up into the alien ship, I too am drawn to Morgana. Her back is to me when I stop in front of her table.

  "Ms. Drake."

  I feel Tiffany put her hand on my arm but I gaze around the table and see Evaleen glaring at me. So, I give it right back to her.

  "Bechmann."

  "Payne," she spits back.

  I glance at the blonde who is swatting at Morgana.

  "Oh, uh hi Mr. Payne. This is my friend Aria. Aria, this is my boss, Mr. Payne."

  I reach out my hand to Aria and she grasps it, shaking wildly. When I try to pull away she won't let go. Finally with a bit of tugging, I manage to withdraw my hand.

  "Ladies this is Tiffany. She is..."

  Before I can finish Tiffany puts her hand out to Morgana and chimes in, “I’m Henrik’s girlfriend, and you must be Morgana. I have heard some interesting stories about you.”

  No, not my girlfriend, Tiffany. You are not my girlfriend. Yes you are a girl and a friend, but not girlfriend. I glance at Tiffany who gives me a wink. Why are you winking Tiffany? What are you doing?

  In shock I glance back at Morgana who apparently has something in her eye because she is blinking uncontrollably. After a few moments she stops and gives the oddest grin. She grabs Tiffany's hand a shakes it.

  "Girlfriend! Well that is so great! Isn't that great you guys, and isn't she beautiful?" Morgana squeals. It's quite painful to listen to her voice, like glass might shatter any minute as she climbs the octave scale. Morgana hops to her feet and wraps her arms around Tiffany, knocking me back a step as she jumps up and down.

  Tiffany appears frightened, and I glance at Evaleen who is trying to cover a laugh. Aria appears pissed and is starting to scoot out of the booth.

  "Oh Tiffany, I mean it you are simply divine." Morgana stumbles back knocking into the table as Aria tries to tug her away.

  We all watch as a glass tips, spilling what looks like a chocolate milkshake all down Morgana's light blue jeans with the cherry somehow landing in her shoe. I glance up at Morgana who is still grinning. Aria finally gets out of the booth and pulls Morgana away.

  That was weird.

  Turning back I realize I am left with Evaleen and Tiffany. Evaleen ignores me and focuses her attention on Tiffany.

  "So, Tiffany how long have you two known each other?"

  "About ten years now, isn't that right Henrik?"

  My eyes are focused on the back hall that Morgana and Aria went down as I absentmindedly nod.

  "Ten years! Well that is a very long time to be dating someone. And he hasn't put a ring on it?"

  "Excuse me." I wave at the table and walk back to the bathrooms. Finding the women’s restroom I knock.

  "Ms. Drake, I need to speak with you."

  What am I doing? Henrik you know what you will do if you enter that room with her, why do this? You know what the unicorn said. Actually the unicorn didn't talk, I'm not that crazy.

  After a few moments Aria opens the door and points back at Morgana.

  "She's all yours. Oh, and my father is a lawyer. So, fuck with her and I will lawyer the crap out of all of this." She does some crazy moves with her arms around my body and then walks off. She's an odd person.

  I step inside and shut the door behind me.

  "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend? She might get jealous," Morgana points out with venom in her voice.

  Leaning back against the wall I run my fingers through my hair. She makes me do this constantly; I'm going to be bald in a year if she keeps frustrating the hell out of me.

  "Look Ms. Drake, my personal life isn’t any of your concern.”

  That sets her off big time. Her eyes go wide and she stands from the toilet putting her hands on her hips.

  "Really? Really? Really? Uh...really? Because last I checked you shoved your hand in my crotch not once but twice in the last month, so I'm thinking you having a girlfriend is my concern."

  I bang my head against the wall because what else can I do? She's right but I can't tell her the truth of why I am so close to Tiffany, why she is more than a friend. I have only known Morgana a month and she still is just my assistant.

  "Morgana it's just a bit more complicated than that. She isn't my girlfriend in that way. She's much more to me."

  That sounded better in my head.

  Morgana tilts her head and actually sneers at me.

  "Oh that makes it so much better! You are a real piece of work you know that? It must be nice living all rich; having one girl at home and another at work. There’s no one to say no to you and all of your desires. Now you even have one running your errands. Your life must be awesome. Awesome!"

  Oh yeah, I forgot I asked her to pick up my dry cleaning. To be fair I never would have asked her to do that, but with the David situation I didn't really have time to get it myself. It was a quick decision to ask her, and after I did it I felt a little weird.

  Morgana is attempting to push past me to leave. I have to try and explain this. I grab her hips and push her against the sink. God she smells wonderful, like flowers and chocolate. Her body is so soft. Jesus, I am hard already. Captain Cock you need to take a vacation for a while.

  I bring my head to her neck and trace it with little bites. I can't get close enough to her and press further. She moans sending shivers down my spine. My nose rises to her hair to inhale.

  "Morgana it's just not what you think it is. I have never even kissed Tiffany."

  I need to grab her ass. Her butt was made for many things, most of which involve my hand. I reach back but she pushes me off her. Scooting away she opens the door and turns back to look at me.

  "This is not okay," she states waving her hand at us before walking away.

  Fuck!

  This is all Captain Cock’s fault. When he takes over my brain always decides to take a nap. Well no more!

  I sit on the toilet seat and point to my crotch.

  "Captain Cock this has been your last warning. I am very mad at you for screwing up my life and Morgana's life with your ludicrous schemes."

  Sighing I look up to see a woman staring at me in the doorway with her three year old daughter at her side.

  "This is the ladies room," she states what I already know.

  Getting up I adjust my top and shimmy past her. She shields her child from me and I make my way back to the table. Once I am there I notice everyone is gone except for Tiffany. Looking down at our table I see several plates of half eaten food. Was I gone that long that she was able to order food?

  "Where did that food come from?" I point as I slide across from her into my seat.

  She is chewing on a cheese stick.

  "This is from Evaleen, Aria, and Morgana's table. They didn't stick around to eat it so I figured, hey free food."

  I frown at her.

  "Ugh. They could have sneezed on all this. I have enough money to buy us lunch; we don't need to eat cold leftover food from someone else's table."

  Tiffany is a great person and wonderful mother, but she comes from nothing. Her mom raised her and struggled to put food on the table. Tiffany was nineteen when her mom died of a heart attack. Despite Tiffany having a successful online graphic design business and the money I help her with to take care of David, she still feels like she can't waste food.

  "You like her don't you?" Tiffany grabs a curly fry.

  "Yes, but she’s my assistant as you know."

  She nods.

  "Love is a funny thing Henrik. There is never a right time or place, it just appears when you need it most."

  I shake my head.

  "I never said I was in love with Morgana."

  She just laughs and shakes her head. I flag down the waitress and order food that I hope hasn't been pre-eaten.

  Chapter 9

  Payne's Rule Three: It's best
not to date women, no complications

  PRESENT DAY - AIRPLANE BOUND FOR LONDON...FIRST CLASS

  Of course she is seated right next to me. Why wouldn't she be. My nostrils are overwhelmed with recycled air and her gorgeous scent. Looking around at the navy leather seats in first class I notice most people sleeping, yet having Morgana right next to me keeps me wide awake. I try to focus on the small screen on the back of the headrest in front of me projecting an episode of 30 Rock, but her snores keep distracting me. I want to lean in and rest my head on her shoulder, maybe cup a boob or two, but I can't. Not just because we are in public surrounded by co-workers, but also due to the fact I messed this all up.

  Look, I know walking away from her all the times we fooled around in the past was a dick move. To my defense she looks so damn hot all the time. It's as if this woman doesn't know how to not look sexy. I'm picturing her in a potato sac right now and I have a semi. I know, stop shouting at me! My cock has a problem. Maybe there is an anonymous meeting for dicks that Captain Cock can attend. I don't think sex addicts anonymous is right because he only seems to want Morgana. He mainly fantasizes about her vagina, and sometimes her mouth.

  I will let you all in on a little secret, when Morgana got fired a few months ago from Mimir when Evaleen walked in on us about to have sex, I missed her. After Morgana told me she lied so I wouldn't get fired it shocked the hell out of me. No one has ever done that for me before. That is when whatever this was between us changed and I knew there was no going back.

  When Edgar Mimir called me the following Wednesday to come back to work and I walked into the office to find the smile of a woman I didn't recognize at Morgana's desk, I became irked. My lack of effort to get her back bothered me. I had never been in that situation before, where I had made the mistake and someone else stood up for me. It scared me that she was having that kind of impact on my emotions.

  So, when I finally did something to get her back to Mimir, I wanted to keep a respectful distance. Her job is important to her, and I had to make sure I didn't get in the way. The past few weeks have been a challenge for me to remain professional. Captain Cock isn't happy, but he takes it out on my hand at night so he doesn't have it that bad.