by Lila Felix
Owen interrupted our goofiness, “Cindi, it’s so nice to finally meet you.”
Cindi ran over to him and hugged him around the middle and he smiled at me over her head. We both showed him the store and Cindi went on and on about me making changes when I take over. I hadn’t even told her that I wanted to take ownership and she assumed I was.
Eventually, Cindi threw us out but not before she hugged the life out of Owen again.
We got back into his Bronco and went to eat. Then we went to the movies. It was a romantic comedy but Owen never complained once. He even laughed at the goofy parts right along with me.
Before I knew it, it was time to go back home and get ready for our next bout. Owen stayed with me and drove me to the skating rink. We were up against a really rough team this week and it was our last bout of the season. I came out of the locker room and looked out at our opponents. Owen came up beside me with Amber and Dylan and they looked concerned.
“What?” I asked.
Owen spoke up first. “Nellie these girls, have you seen them? Two of them were fighting each other during warm ups and they’re on the same team. Please, please be careful.”
Amber and Dylan were having their own conversation and Owen began to whisper to me.
“What’s the protocol here? Can I kiss you in front of your team or does that make you look like a wuss? ‘Cause you look hot as hell in those little black shorts.”
“If you kissed me right now, I would almost guarantee that the whole room would be jealous of me. Single, married and otherwise they would all get a taste of the green monster.”
“Hmmm…” He stalled and acted aloof.
So I made up his mind for him. But then my skates had a mind of their own. In my greed my lips went one way and my skates went the other. He ended up having to catch me half way down. Then he lifted me the rest of the way so that my skates dangled and kissed me until I didn’t think I could stand up, much less skate.
I went to warm up and Amber was showing off as usual. Then the other team got on the rink and we gave each other a ‘what the hell?’ look. They were big girls, like weight lift a car, big girls. And before the bout even started one of them got in a fight with some girl who was just a spectator.
The bout started out fine and they were really kicking our asses. Then we tied up the score and that’s when things really started getting ugly. It was like we flipped a switch and the niceties were thrown out of the window, not that there are many niceties in roller derby, but still. Before I knew it half of the team was bleeding from one place or the other and everyone was bruised and battered. But we were tough and we tried like mad to get ahead. I saw Amber’s hand and she almost had pulled me through the pack when I felt a piercing, sharp pain in my side and I hit the floor still holding Amber’s hand. I heard whistles and people scrambling around me from all angles. Then Owen was above me and he was lifting up my shirt and then he cussed such a long string that it was almost funny.
I attempted to sit up but Owen’s hand gently kept me down. He talked to me for a few minutes and then backed away when the paramedics arrived. I kept my eyes locked on him for as long as I could and then I was loaded into an ambulance and taken away before I knew what was happening.
I heard sirens and smelled alcohol and plastic and metal.
“Where’s Owen?” I said to no one and everyone at the same time.
“That man of yours? Honey, he’s in the car right behind us. Don’t you worry.” The paramedic asked me all kinds of questions and made me talk almost all the way to the hospital.
We got to the hospital and after a bunch of jostling and wrangling I was in a room and there were x rays and blood samples and people shined flashlights in my eyes. Things were written down, charts were filled out. And after all of the commotion I heard one of them say,
“Ok, you can come in now. She’s stable. We’re waiting for the doctor to look at the x-rays and then he’ll come in. Are you the next of kin?”
I heard his voice and my hand reached out for him.
“No ma’am, I’m just her boyfriend. Her friend has called her parents. They should be here soon.”
Oh great. Who told them they could do that?
The nurse was apparently satisfied and I heard a door shut. And I know I should have more important things on my mind but all I could do was smile at the fact that Owen just called himself my boyfriend. My hand still flexed, opening and closing wishing that it was wrapped around his. Just then my prayers were answered. I heard a chair’s metal wheels screech and grind against the floor and then his hands enveloped my free one.
I looked over at him and tried to smile and then he brushed some of my hair out of my face and gave me this fake tight lipped smile like the ones I reserve for strangers.
“Hey, I’m ok. It’s gonna be fine.”
“I think I took some of your team out when I saw you go down. Your parents are on their way. I know you aren’t happy about it but Amber couldn’t find your insurance info so we had to. So, I don’t want to start any drama. Do you want me to leave before they get here?”
“No, I want you right here. I need you with me.”
“And I need you to be ok. What would I do if something happened to you?”
“I don’t want to think about it.” I whispered.
“Me neither. So…”
The door opened and I could smell her overpriced department store perfume before I heard or saw her. Then I heard a long sigh. Those sighs of hers meant so many things. You interrupted my country club tennis lessons. I can’t believe I have to be here. I hope no one sees my pink haired daughter. If she hadn’t gone ape shit, I’d never be here.
“Nellie Michelle, are you ok darling?” It poured out of her mouth like a combination of molasses and ghost peppers, both sticky sweet and mean as fire.
“Yes Mom, I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to come down here.” I tried to be polite so she’d go away.
“Mmmm…well there’s nothing we can do about that now, can we? So what has the doctor said?”
Owen answered before I could.
“He hasn’t made it in yet Ma’am.”
“And you are?” She sounded like the queen from Snow White.
“I’m Owen, Nellie’s boyfriend, it’s very nice to meet you.”
“Well, that’s news to me.” And then she glared at him up and down, “I can certainly see why Nellie Michelle chose to keep you a secret.”
I turned to Owen who looked like he was ashamed of who he was next to me and I wasn’t going to take it for one more second.
“Do you see?” I pointed my question to Owen, “Do you see why I didn’t want you to meet them? This is how they are.”
“Really Nellie? You didn’t want him to meet us?”
“Mom, I will put up with you insulting me, but I will not put up with you insulting Owen. Did you bring the insurance card?”
“Of course, I gave it to the peon at the front desk.”
“Then you can leave.”
She scoffed and acted offended and then stormed out.
“Nellie, you didn’t have to do that. It’s your mom. Maybe she should…” He didn’t sound like himself.
“Owen, there’s no one I’d rather have here with me than you. Can—can you just hold my hand?”
He took my hand that he dropped during my mom’s tiny tirade between both of his strong warm ones and I closed my eyes at the sensation, letting it our over me. Just then the doctor walked in and said that my ribs were bruised but he didn’t think I had a concussion. He released me under instructions to rest the next day and take it easy for the next week.
I had to be pushed out in a wheelchair, which sucked, and Owen pulled up his car to take me home. He called Dylan and asked him to bring him some clothes to my apartment. I didn’t know what that meant but I knew that I wasn’t ready to be apart from him.
Tears rolled down my face as I thought about how my mom had treated him. It was one thing for her to treat me tha
t way. I was used to it after all. But for her to treat him, the guy who had told me this morning that he loved me, like dirt under her feet was intolerable.
“Are you in pain? I thought they gave you medicine that would last a while.” He was concerned.
“Yeah, no I’m not in pain.” I tried to clear my tears with the edge of my shirt.
“Then why are you crying?” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.
“I just hoped she would act different.” I whispered, ashamed.
26. Owen
I couldn’t stand to see her cry. It shattered me. I didn’t say a word because I needed to say something exactly right to soothe her and right then I couldn’t find the words.
We got back to her apartment and she walked through to her bedroom looking defeated. She showered and got directly into bed. I showered after her, not even asking permission. I walked out not knowing what was going to happen but also knowing that apart from her is somewhere I didn’t want to be. She was laying down with her back to me and I thought she was asleep already. I attempted to sneak out and go sleep on the couch against everything that was calling out to me.
“Don’t go.” She sounded like she was still crying and she had her hand stretched out behind her beckoning me. I got onto the other side of the bed facing her and took both of her hands in mine and moved in as close to her as I could without jostling her. I cleared my throat.
“Nellie, I don’t care what your mother thinks about me. The only people whose opinions I value are my family’s and yours. It would be nice for her to like me or even act like she can tolerate me, but it’s not necessary. I love you no matter what.”
She took a deep breath and slowly moved closer to me.
“They’re never going to approve of anything I do. Today when she said that it wasn’t aimed at you, it was aimed at me. She cuts me down every chance she gets. I’ve learned to take it when I have to but mostly just ignore it. But you didn’t deserve one ounce of it. But if we’re going to be together then we’re going to have to deal with it from time to time and I hate that for you.”
“We’ll just have to spend more time with my parents to counteract it. You haven’t met my brothers yet. They are a trip.” I joked.
She nodded her head in acceptance
“I’m cold.” She whispered and her body concurred with a shiver.
I put my arm under her head and grabbed the back of her thigh to move her even closer as gently as possible. Just hours ago I would’ve given anything to have my hand on her thigh but this was not sexy. This was making sure that if she was cold, I would warm her. If she was in pain, I would ease her. And if her heart ached, I would mend her. Somehow the things that I could do for her were just the things that she needed. She could’ve found them anywhere but she chose to seek them in me.
She woke in the middle of the night hurting and I gave her a dosage of the pills from the doctor and covered her ribs with ice. Minutes later one or both took effect and she fell back into a peaceful sleep. Morning came and she looked more like herself. She wasn’t as pale and could sit up without much trouble. Amber cooked breakfast for everyone. It was funny because Amber was so hot and cold when it came to Nellie. Just when you thought she had forgotten all about her, she’s there doing what she could to help.
I carried Nellie to the couch and watched everything from Master of Disguise to Paranormal Witness on TV. I sat on the floor in front of the couch and fell asleep while she played in my hair with my head lying back on the couch next to her. There was a knock at the door and Nellie asked who it was. But I already knew because I had made the call. I got up and opened the door to my mom and she had gone all out.
Nellie’s whole face lit up when she saw my mom at the door.
“Hi Sylvia! How are you?”
Mom knelt down in front of the couch after I took everything from her hands.
“I’m ok. But more importantly, how are you? What can I do for you?”
My mom was the absolute best in taking care of people. I knew that first hand.
“I’m fine. Owen has taken such amazing care of me. Really.”
“I’m sure he has.” Then she got closer and whispered something in Nellie’s ear and Nellie simply nodded. What was with my parents whispering things in her ear?
“I made you my famous chicken soup and some food for the bottomless pit too.”
“Thank you so much.” They hugged and my mom said she needed to get back to the restaurant. She hugged me as well and left.
“What did she whisper in your ear,” I asked her.
“Oh no, I’m the best secret keeper ever.”
“Oh, I thought you were the best kisser ever. My mistake.”
She laughed, “No, I hold that title too. So how many other girls have I beat out, huh?”
The room grew silent and she realized where joking had turned serious immediately.
“Owen, I’m so sorry. I was just kidding. I don’t care at all. I didn’t mean to pry.”
I knelt down in front of her and laid the right side of my face on her chest facing her. I thought she was on the verge of crying so I needed to fix this quick. She reached out and ran her fingers through my hair.
“Nellie, you didn’t say anything wrong. And I will tell you all of it one day. But that time of my life is something that I’m ashamed of. So to answer your question, I kissed a good number of girls. I made out with a good number of girls. I’ve only had sex with one girl and I wish I never had. She betrayed me in the worst way and I’ll never forget it. If I could take it back and all of those other girls too, I would. I would’ve waited for you. But I can’t.” Those last words barely came out.
“Hey, I don’t care about your past. I really was just kidding. All I care about is you and me. Ok? But thank you for trusting me with that. I love you so much and nothing you say is going to change that.”
27. Nellie
Just what I didn’t want to do. In fact, the only thing I made sure not to do. I forced information out of him and I felt like crap for it. Lying here with his head on my chest, I could feel the breath on my neck as he laid his confession before me. I felt the smallest twinge of hurt and jealousy to think that he had been so intimate with other girls but I tried not to show it. He loved me now and that’s what counted.
He stayed there relaxing after his admittance for a long time. His eyes were closed.
“Owen.” I whispered. I didn’t want this moment to end badly.
“Yeah?” I could feel his jaw move against my chest as he spoke.
“Kiss me.” I said as firmly as I could.
His head popped up and he gave me a look that I interpreted as relief.
“Even after…” Did he really think I couldn’t want to kiss him again?
“Of course.”
He grabbed my face fiercely but softly and our mouths and locked in harmony. He kissed me like he may never kiss me again. I heard a moan and suddenly he pulled back abruptly ending my pleasure.
“What?” I asked.
“I totally made you moan.” I laughed as he kept his hands on my face. It was my moan that I heard.
“Ugh, I’m so embarrassed.” I turned my face into the couch and groaned.
“Oh no don’t you hide from me.” I turned slowly and it took me a while to meet his eyes.
“That told me so much. And you never have to be embarrassed about any of that in front of me. You can tell me anything. Ok?”
“OK. There’s something very important that I want to tell you.”
“What?” he said. He totally believed that I was serious.
“I’m hungry.” He cracked up and told me to sit tight but I wanted to get up and sit at the table like a normal person.
He kissed me on the lips quickly and said “Come on tough girl, let’s get to the table.”
With Owen’s help I recovered completely over the next two weeks. He stayed with me when I wanted him to and during the last week he started going home at night. My bed
didn’t feel the same anymore.
The next Friday night we were finally going to go somewhere together. Owen told me in class to pack for the whole weekend and I had never been so nervous and excited at the same time. He also told me to pack swim suits. As in swim suit plural. I didn’t know what he had planned but the thought of Owen in swim trunks with a view of those piercings, whatever they were, almost had me running out of class to pack.
I got home after class and I realized that the only swim suits I owned were old and funky. So I texted Amber and she and I went to the mall to shop. Thank goodness they still had some swim suits and lucky me, since it was fall, they were on clearance. I picked up four since they were so cheap. I also got some more flip flops. Because a girl could never ever have enough flip flops.
I rushed back home and furiously packed. I heard my phone.
O: Are you ready? I’m on my way. If not, I can wait.
N: I will be ready by the time you get here.
I wore my jean skirt with a white fitted shirt and some of my new flip flops. He mentioned that we would be travelling, so I wanted to be comfortable. I sprayed myself one last time with my coconut and ginger body spray and threw it in my bag. I heard a knock and went to answer the door.
When I opened it his mouth dropped open and I know this boy knew what I looked like. I took a quick peek in the mirror that hung to the side of the door and didn’t see any zits or boogers.
“What’s the matter with you?” I asked while I giggled.
“Damn, you just look so good.” He came into the doorway and kissed me quickly.
“Ok,” he rubbed his hands together “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, let me grab my bag.” I turned around but his hands stopped me by tugging on my waist.
“Oh no, my girl doesn’t carry her own bag.”
He went into my bedroom and grabbed my duffel and my purse and handed my purse to me.
“Anything else?” He looked so excited. He was like a kid going to Legoland.
“Nope, that’s it.”
We went down and he approached a big black SUV.