I gave him a dirty look and he smiled back at me in that familiar devious way he had.
The remaining people from inside the limo had backed up behind us and I was starting to feel decidedly naked.
“Well, maybe your boss will let you chat with Josh through the door then?”
She looked Jake up and down, raising one of her eyebrows, then winked at me.
“Maybe,” I said.
She finally let my hand drop and turned to walk inside. “You coming, Josh?”
“Nah,” he said. “You go do your thing. I’m going to hang here.”
“Have fun,” she said.
I’d resumed my stance beside the door and Jake mirrored me on the other side.
Brown took up his own stance right next to me, looking very much the part of security.
After Angel Moran’s entourage had filed into the building Brown grabbed me around the waist, lifted me and twirled around.
“Put me down!” I yelled.
He’d caught me off guard and I almost reacted badly, but after one spin I was smiling again.
“I missed you,” I said.
He set me down and pointed toward Jake.
“What the hell are you doing working for these assholes? No offense, Jake.”
Brown briefly glanced Jake’s direction when he said this.
Jake had moved from his post and was closing the distance hesitantly. If I had objected too much to Brown’s rough play, I’m sure Jake would have stepped in. He gave me a questioning look and I nodded back to make sure he knew everything was okay.
“Seriously, Alex. Why the hell are you doing security work for Mesa?”
“It’s a job.”
“We’ve got plenty of work for you. Come home.”
“Home?” I laughed and shook my head.
“Yes, Alex. Home.” Brown snubbed my dismissal.
I regained my position near the door. “This conversation is not going to happen here.”
“The hell it ain’t. This is the first time I’ve seen you since you left. I don’t give a shit who’s around, I don’t care what’s said. You’ve been M.I.A. for months. Don’t you think we deserved some kind of explanation? Cuz, I think we did. You can’t drop a bombshell, like you did, without some explanation.”
“I didn’t drop anything. Not a damn thing. I left because—”
“Okay. It wasn’t you, it was Red. So what. It is what it is and I want to know more.”
“Tough shit.”
“I deserve it, Blue deserves it, Green deserves it, but most of all, Black deserves it. White won’t open his mouth, but you better.”
“I told you. I’m not having this conversation here.”
“And I told you I don’t care what you want. Not any more. You left us all out in the cold and it pisses me off. If we don’t talk now, when? When? When I stumble across you at some other worthless Mesa job?”
Jake had moved to my side.
“Brown, even though I’d love to know what happened at White and Associates, she is working and I can’t allow you to badger my employee.”
“Shut up, Jake!” Brown and I said in unison.
“I had to leave. Red was acting like— I don’t know what the hell he was thinking. He should have come to me or White first instead of having a company meeting. Have you given any of this any real thought? I suspect you haven’t. Imagine the powers that be knew what Red knows. What do you think would happen? I left to keep him safe.”
I watched the realization hit him.
“Red is a jackass, but he’s not a threat.”
“You go tell him you saw me and talked me into coming back. See how he reacts, then come find me at one of my worthless jobs. If you can tell me he’s going to back down from the whole Ms. Grey’s a traitor attitude, then maybe you and I will have something to talk about.” I was shaking and on the verge of bawling. I unclenched my fists and took a few deep breaths.
“You don’t know how much I want to come back and pretend that this never happened,” I continued. “But Red isn’t the only one who feels betrayed. He had Green following me around, spying on me. Green was a willing participant. Trust me, Josh. You are all better off without me and I’m better off being outside a company full of men who will never give me their full trust and partners who won’t return the loyalty they expect from me.”
“I still miss you,” Brown said after a long pause.
“You have no idea how much I miss you.” I hastily wiped a tear from my eye. “Now go have some fun with your lady.”
“I’m sorry, Alex. You’re right. I’d never thought about it from that direction. I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
Brown set his jaw and walked into the building.
“Alex? You okay?” Jake asked.
I smiled. “I’m fine, Jake. Just tying up loose ends really sucks, you know?”
“What the hell happened over there?”
“I did some secret side jobs. Red found out and thought it was his place to let all my partners know.”
“They didn’t want you working outside the company. Posner doesn’t like that, either.”
He nodded his head as if he truly understood now. Something about his tone made me want him to know he still had no idea.
“White set up the jobs and encouraged me to take them. Red called me out on it and White didn’t back me.” I shrugged. “Those men have been partners since before White and Associates. I don’t know why I expected White to fight for me. I’m just— an add on.”
Jake didn’t say another word. I held my chin a little higher reminding myself I’d done nothing wrong. Nothing. And, nothing I did would make me one of the guys. I was done trying to fit in.
A few seconds later, Brown stepped out the door with his phone to his ear.
“I’m on my way,” he said into the receiver. “Alex. I’ve got to go. Something came up. You might want to call White. But, I want you to know, you can call me anytime, for anything at all. Even if it’s just someone to fight with. I’ll never forget our sparring sessions.” He waggled his eyebrows as he elbowed me in the arm.
I smiled and gave him a little push back.
“Seriously now,” he put his phone in his back pocket and took me by the shoulders. “I don’t want to lose you. Even if we can’t work in the same company, for now, I will always be here for you.” He kissed my forehead. It was tender and quick. Then, he pulled me into an embrace.
I fought hard to keep my emotions in check. When he pulled away, his gaze was intense.
“Always,” he said. He walked briskly away and called back just before he was out of earshot. “Oh, and you really should call White.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jake left me alone with my thoughts until the concert started. I stood there wondering why Brown told me to call White. Was there trouble, or was he just trying to get me to call White? I had White’s phone in my back pocket. I took it out to make sure it was on. If he needed me, he could call.
The music started. My initial excitement about seeing Angel in concert again had faded and hadn’t found its way back to me.
“Did you want to switch out with a couple guys inside so you can see the show?”
“No. Thanks,” I said.
Conversation ceased again. Nobody tried to cross the rope line and the crowd thinned. After what seemed like an eternity, the show was finally over.
I could hear the fans clamoring for more and heard the encore. When there was no sound but cheering fans, our radios crackled with an unfamiliar voice.
“Miss Moran is leaving now.”
Being so close to Jake with my radio caused some feedback, so I shut mine off.
Jake spoke into the radio, but I didn’t hear what he said.
The crowd was almost nonexistent by this time, but I readied myself when the limo pulled up to the curb.
The doors opened and her entourage filed out and started filling the limo. Angel was almost the last person out. S
he was followed by two of her personal guard.
She stopped beside me and took my hand in hers.
“I just want to say how much of a treat it was to meet you, Ms. Grey. Josh adores you and you should try to keep in better touch with him.”
I didn’t know what to say in return, so I nodded and smiled.
Though I’d never fit into their clique, I did have a special relationship with each of the men. Brown had become the brother I never had and treated me like a sister. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy.
Angel Moran’s grip remained strong and she held my gaze like a pro. I felt the tears trying to well up. I’d spent the night keeping my emotions in check. I couldn’t let go, yet.
“Miss Moran.” Thankfully, one of her guards interrupted us. “We need to get you into the car now.”
She nodded, gave my hand a squeeze and moved toward the limo.
As soon as the limo drove off Jake asked, “You wanna get outta here? I can have Joe wrap things up here.”
“Sure.”
He called Joe on the radio and left me alone at the door while he retrieved his car.
When he pulled up, I slid into the passenger seat of his Charger.
“What do you want to do?”
“You can just drop me off at my hotel. I should get some sleep.”
“Come on, Alex. I haven’t seen you for an entire week. I want to know what you’ve been up to. You can’t shut me out the way you did the colors.”
That was a slap in the face.
“Pull over, Jake.”
“What?”
“Pull over.” My hand was on the door handle and shaking.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean—”
“Just let me out.”
His voice deflated. “I’ll take you to your hotel. Which one is it?” he asked.
“I’ll find my own way, thanks. Now pull the damn car over.” My voice shook. “I don’t want you to know where I’m staying. Just PULL OVER.”
My anger at Jake’s words diminished with his apology, but the energy hadn’t dispersed. It had morphed into despair. I didn’t think I could hold onto my emotions much longer. Where the hell was Penumbra’s calm when I needed it?
“Alex. I just wanted to catch up. I’m sorry. Please, just tell me which hotel. I won’t say another word.”
I shook my head and muttered the hotel under my breath, then spent the ride watching out the side window.
He was true to his word until we pulled into the hotel parking lot. He asked if he could come up as I stepped out of the car.
“Suit yourself.”
I got out and walked into the hotel without glancing back. He better keep up. I wouldn’t wait and I wouldn’t go looking for him if he couldn’t find my room.
He managed and remained quiet as we rode the elevator up to my room.
His presence was reassuring. If he hadn’t been at my side I probably would have already broken down. Even though it was his fault I’d gotten all worked up in the first place, I was thankful he’d come with me.
He followed me into the room and I went directly to my bathroom. I might have been glad he was there, but I wasn’t ready to tell him that.
I killed time by taking a hot shower. Hot water has a tendency to relax me. I could hear the television and assumed he’d made himself comfortable.
I dreaded leaving the bathroom, so I dried and dressed slowly.
Please, don’t talk.
I opened the bathroom door with that coursing through my mind.
Jake was leaning back on my bed, flipping through the channels on my television.
I climbed up onto the bed next to him. He only flipped channels a couple more times before he decided on a movie.
I woke up to a quiet and dark room. I tried to remember how the movie ended, but must have fallen asleep almost immediately because I couldn’t remember more than ten minutes of the show.
I turned my head to look at the clock, but it wasn’t there. I squinted and realized I could see the faint red glow of the clock behind Jake’s form beside me.
“Hi,” he said.
My stomach churned. “Hi. What are you still doing here?”
“You were having bad dreams. I thought I’d stay until you settled down or woke up.”
“I’m fine, Jake.”
Nervousness ate at me and I could feel myself shaking. I’d fallen asleep next to Jake before, but had never been confronted with him in a dark room.
I felt him moving on the bed, then felt his hand move my hair away from my face. My breath became shallow and my libido kicked into overdrive.
He must have realized this because he leaned in closer and kissed me gently. I let him kiss me once, then I kissed him back. The kisses became more and more intense as we lay there until we were both clawing to get our shirts off.
The heat of his body against mine was adding to my passion until he reached behind me to unhook my bra. A flashback of White doing the same came crashing in on me. I tried to push those thoughts away, but White’s phone vibrated in my back pocket. Brown’s voice entered into the equation. “You might want to call White.” I was instantly sobered from my sex-drunk state.
I pushed away.
“Jake. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
I rolled to the edge of the bed and leaned over to search for our shirts in the dark, trying to ignore the vibrating in my back pocket.
“What’s wrong?”
He slid up behind me and caressed my shoulders.
I still ached to be touched. Just not by him. Not with White in my back pocket.
“I don’t think I’m ready, yet.”
The phone vibrated again.
“I told you to ditch that damn phone.”
I handed him his shirt, then pulled my own over my head.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“I really hate White,” he said. “You going to answer it?”
“No. But, it killed the mood,” I said.
I took the phone from my back pocket and put it into the top drawer of the nightstand.
“Just shut it off.”
He reached for me again and I pulled away.
“You better get home. I’ll call you in a couple days.”
Jake followed me to the door.
“You going to be okay?”
“Yes, Jake. I’m fine. You don’t need to treat me like a child,” I said.
He nodded and his eyes flitted to the nightstand as the phone vibrated again.
“You should just talk to him. Get it over with and then maybe you can throw that damn phone away,” he said.
I had every intention of answering the phone, but that was my business, not his. I was worried something was wrong. Brown’s words kept leaking into my thoughts.
“I might. I’ll talk to you soon. Promise,” I said.
Jake stood outside my door still holding his shirt in his hands. I shut the door and watched through the peephole. He threw his shirt on and stared at the door for a few seconds. Finally, he stalked off.
I went to my nightstand, pulled out the phone, and dialed White.
“Alex?” he answered.
His voice was tired and drawn.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“I’ve got some bad news. Will—”
He took in a long shaky breath.
“I got a call a few hours ago. Will’s plane went down. He’s gone.”
My heart broke and I lost all ability to speak for a moment.
Will was gone? White’s little brother. The man I seriously considered over White when White was still available to me. The tears streamed down my face.
“You aren’t alone, are you?” I asked.
“I kicked the guys out a while ago,” he said.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hung up and packed my stuff.
The cab pulled up outside of White and Associates fifteen minutes later.
The night guard greeted me as I walked in. “Ms. Grey. Good to
see you.”
“Good to see you, Phil. I’m here to see White.” I headed toward the elevator.
“I was told to give you your keys when you came back.”
He’d rushed to catch up with me and held out the keys to my apartment.
I almost refused, but took them instead.
“White’s expecting you at his apartment.”
“Thanks, Phil,” I said.
I got into the elevator and pushed the button for the eighth floor, White’s apartment.
As the elevator rose, so did my anxiety. If I could get past the seventh floor, where the office was, I could see White without having to talk to any of my partners.
My luck didn’t hold and the elevator slowed, then stopped on the seventh floor. I pushed buttons repeatedly, but the doors still opened.
Red and Black hesitated before getting into the car.
“Grey,” Red greeted me. “I take it you heard?”
I ignored him. I was seething inside. His expression and tone were contrite, but I couldn’t find any civil words in my vocabulary.
“If you’re going to see White, we’ll go up to my apartment,” Black said.
I looked him in the eyes. They were full of sorrow. I’d expected that, but I’d also expected a bit of condemnation. There was none.
I nodded and got off on the eighth floor alone.
I knocked lightly on White’s door.
He looked drained. “Thanks for coming. I know how you connected with Will.” He eyeballed my two duffle bags.
“Sorry. I’ve been living out of these bags and just take them most everywhere I go,” I lied. I wasn’t sure why I had brought everything. It seemed like the thing to do.
He nodded and walked into his kitchen.
I followed and took a seat right next to him. I was sick with tension. “What can I do?”
His shrug was barely noticeable and he shook his head miserably.
We sat in the same positions for at least an hour before he put his head onto the counter.
“He was my little brother.”
I stood from my chair and went to his side. He lifted his head from the counter and we clutched each other as we cried.
I never expected this much misery from him, ever. Though I was suffering from my own feelings of loss and despair, I cried for White more than I did for Will. The realization of this made me feel horrible. My heart ached at the loss of Will, but it shattered inside my chest at White’s anguish.
Fragments of Grey [Book Five of The Alexis Stanton Chronicles] Page 12