Lust

by Leddy Harper

  She moved, leaning into me until she was sitting on my thighs with her legs on either side of mine and her arms around my neck. It was dark, but I could see her eyes clearly as she looked right into mine, showing more confidence than she had since waking me up. “You won’t hurt me, Cade. I know you won’t. I’ve already proven to you that I trust you, but let me prove it again.”

  I took her mouth with mine and ran my hands along the sides of her body, feeling the warm, silky skin beneath my palms. I was hard and straining between us, no longer fearing the unknown. She had a way of making me forget everything else around me.

  When my hands moved to the tops of her bare thighs, she froze and I pulled my lips away from hers. I knew it would take time until she would be able to go from start to finish without freezing up and when that time would come, I’d celebrate it. But until then, I’d have to harness my patience and play by her rules, pushing only when needed.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she admitted in a slightly humorous whisper.

  I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when I realized she hadn’t stilled out of fear but out of inexperience. I’d help with that. I leaned back against my pillows, keeping her sitting on my legs in front of me with my hands steady on her thighs. “Just go with it. Do what you feel is right. Don’t think too much about it Ivy, and let your instincts take over.”

  Her hands softly began to work their way from my stomach to my chest with her fingers fanned out as if she wanted to touch every inch of me. No one had ever touched me so gently before, and it wasn’t something I ever thought I’d like, but what she was doing to me had my insides rolling and my dick swelling. Chills broke out across my flesh and the nerve endings at the base of my spine began to burn, sending a searing hot pressure to my balls and the base of my dick. I knew I had told her to do what she felt was right, but if she kept up with the torture she was putting me through, I would have to take control and do what I felt was right.

  “Ivy,” I said on a groan as I tilted my pelvis up slightly. “If you keep doing that, we won’t make it to the sex part.”

  She leaned down, pulling her lips as close to my ear as she could, and whispered, “I can’t fuck you through your underwear. You’re good… but not that good.” She giggled as she repeated my words to her from the week before. It was sexy as hell.

  I grabbed a hold of her ass cheeks and pulled her naked body against mine, thrusting my covered cock into her bare pussy. Her nipples were hard pebbles pressing into my chest, begging to be bitten. But I wouldn’t do that to her, unless she wanted me to. This was her moment to heal me, and I had to let her do it; I just wouldn’t last on her timeline.

  “Then you’re either going to have to move or take them off yourself,” I challenged her.

  She moved in order for me to take my boxers off… much like I thought she would. In time, I knew I would have her pulling my boxers down with her teeth just before cupping my balls in her hand and licking the tip of my cock. I knew that if I gave her time, she would open up and do all of the things she wanted to. The fact that she came into my room naked with the intent of having sex with me proved that.

  I threw my boxers on the floor next to me, not caring where they landed, and laid back down and waited for her to come to me. I watched as she timidly moved back over me, situating herself with her legs on either side of my hips. She held herself up with her hands on my chest and stared at me, unmoving. For the first time in my life, I found myself in awe of a woman. I found myself concerned with her insecurity and didn’t feel the irritated feeling to correct it. Instead, I found the patient need to wait it out until she felt that she was confident enough.

  My fingers found their way to her heat, pressing into her to test her readiness. I urged her on with my fingers and it didn’t take long before she was soaking my fingers, riding my hand. I knew then that she was ready and pulled my hand away, positioned her over my hard dick, and waited for her to make the next move. I wouldn’t lower her on me no matter how much I wanted—needed—to. It would be so easy to grind her hips down on me but I fought the urge to do so. I was going to wait for her to make the decision and do it all on her own.

  Three breaths… that’s how long it took before she sank down on me, wrapping her warmth around me. Every single breath felt like an eternity. Slowly, she pushed all the way down until she had me filling her completely. The sounds that passed her lips, coupled with the tight grip her pussy had on my dick had me ready to come right then and there. I was a man that prided himself on his stamina, yet Ivy had a way of taking that away in a matter of seconds. Lasting five minutes would be a miracle when it came to satisfying her. She held the ability to completely unravel my composure.

  After a single heartbeat, she began to move on me. That’s how long it took her. It was rigid at first until I gripped her hips and helped her find her rhythm. It was slow and torturous, killing me with each long pull and then reviving me with each long push.

  She was too far away from me and I needed her closer so I laid a flat hand on her lower back and pulled her body into mine. She lost her pace for a moment and then found it again. The change in position pushed me deeper into her and I could tell she enjoyed it by the change in her breathing.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, pulling up a bit, and then looking me straight in the eyes as she rode me.

  I smiled and nodded. “I’d be even better if you talked to me.”

  I heard her giggle softly, feeling it reverberate off the inside of my chest. “I don’t know how to talk dirty, Cade. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing here.” She was whispering and sounded slightly out of breath. I was unsure if it was because of nerves or what we were doing. But it was too slow to have overexerted her, so I had to assume it was nerves or being turned on. “I can’t say to you what the girls in the books say. That would be too embarrassing.”

  “Then don’t. Say anything you want. Do anything you want. There is no wrong way, Ivy… only what feels right.” I grabbed the back of her head and took her mouth roughly with mine for a moment. “I don’t want you to give me things you’ve read about. I only want you to give me what you feel.”

  Her already slow movements slowed even more as she pushed away slightly and looked at me with a serious expression. “Okay. If you want to hear me talk dirty using my own words, then here it goes.” She took a deep breath as if readying herself for something shocking. “No one has ever looked at me the way you do. No one has ever heard me the way you do. And no one has ever touched me the way you do.” She stopped moving completely and lowered her head again, bringing her lips just close enough to brush them against mine. I literally breathed in her next words and they quickly became part of me. “So own me, Cade.”

  My head lifted off the pillow as I kissed her forcefully, flipping her over at the same time. I never took my lips from hers nor did I remove my dick from her warmth. But I stayed still, unmoving inside of her. I finally pulled my mouth away as I supported myself over her body and looked down at her. She was absolute fucking perfection—my perfection. Our heavy breaths lingered between us as we lay still, silent, and observant.

  “Is that what you want?” I asked, giving her one more chance to change her mind.

  She nodded shyly but kept her eyes focused on mine intently.

  I turned my head and sucked her neck hard, making sure to leave a mark that would remind her of this moment every time she looked in the mirror for days. I needed to mark her—brand her—as mine. If she wanted me to own her, I would own the fuck out of her. My lips moved down her neck, scraping her collarbone along the way and growing harder with every gasp and moan she released into the quiet air around us. I gave one hard thrust, burying myself in her deep. Even when I was as far into her as I could get, I continued to push, further and further in some sort of desperation I had never felt before.

  I began to move further down her body and slowly pulled out of her, regretting it immediately once the hiss escap
ed her lips. My mouth found her hardened nipple and I teased it first with my tongue, making sure she felt it clear to her toes. The moment she began to writhe beneath me, I pinched it between my teeth, earning a gasping scream from Ivy. I smiled and moved over to the other side, making sure she’d feel me everywhere in the morning.

  “Please…” she began to bed softly, as if too embarrassed to ask any louder but unable to stay silent. “Please, Cade.”

  “What do you want?” I needed to hear her say it. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Own me.” It was said with a mixture of pleading, desperation, and want. And that was all I needed to hear. It was more than I needed to hear.

  I sat back on my haunches and grabbed her hipbones roughly, flipping her over to her stomach, and quickly settling back between her legs. I flattened my chest to her back, pressing her into the mattress as I pushed one arm beneath her stomach to gain some leverage. In one quick thrust, her heat enveloped me again. She must have liked this position because she couldn’t keep quiet, letting out soft whimpers and moans, panting and fisting the pillow next to her.

  I reached my other arm under her armpit and across her body, grabbing the back of her turned head. I threaded her hair through my fingers, pulling it tight so that she had to look at me over her shoulder. With my face in front of hers, I began to nibble on her ear, coercing more eager noises from her. I couldn’t get enough of her as I pounded roughly and archaically into her. It was as if I couldn’t get deep enough, couldn’t get close enough to her.

  The harder I fucked her, the more the bed creaked beneath us. At first, I was able to block it out with the noises Ivy was making, but then she grew quieter and the creaking became louder. Without realizing it, my movement started to slow some, and then slow more until it was just long, hard thrusts.

  Ivy’s hand gripped my burning bicep hard. Her nails dug into my skin, bringing my attention to it. I stopped completely and waited for her to say something, but she never did. That was when I realized the overly tight grip I had in her hair. I had been yanking on it, forcing her head to twist in an odd and painful position. I immediately released my hold on her and pulled away, taking my body completely away from hers. I moved to the side of the bed and sat facing away from her, cradling my head in my hands. All I could hear was the sound of her harsh and panicked breathing. Her frantic pants consumed me and filled me with dread.

  When she didn’t move, I looked back at her. That was all I needed. One look at her and everything changed. My self-loathing immediately turned into concern for her. The ringing in my ears began to dissipate, causing the voices to evaporate. The selfish fear that had consumed me turned into a fear unlike any I had felt before. I dreaded that she was hurt or scared, and all I wanted to do was fix it. I wanted to take it all away and never let her feel that way again.

  I reached out and grabbed her hand. “Ivy, come here.” I tugged on her hand, pulling her closer.

  She didn’t move beyond the stretch of her arm.

  Without pause, I turned and took hold of her waist and pulled her up. I spun her around until she was sitting on my lap, straddling my thighs. I couldn’t decipher what she was feeling. She was looking at me instead of averting her eyes but there was too much space between our bodies and she didn’t seem too eager about getting closer. I was about to say something when she finally spoke, silencing the words on my tongue.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head, sure I had heard her wrong. “What?”

  “I wasn’t able to make it go away for you.”

  Awe over her selflessness filled me. “It’s gone… You did that. I’m okay. But what about you; are you okay?”

  The room was dark and I would have given anything to see her face right then. I needed to see her eyes to know what she was feeling. Everything about her was a contradiction from the way she sat on me to the words that came from her mouth. I desperately needed clarity.

  She cupped my face in her hands and brought our mouths together, whispering on my lips. “I’m fine, Cade. I just wish I could make this go away for you. I wish I could help you the way you’ve helped me. That’s all I want to do.” She sounded as if she were on the verge of tears and it felt like a knife in my chest, sending piercing pain throughout my torso until I couldn’t breathe.

  “Then fix me,” I said as I grabbed her ass in my hands and lifted her until she was pressing down onto me again. “Fucking fix me, Ivy.”

  She was fully seated on me and I could feel her walls convulse around my throbbing dick. It was as if our bodies were ready but our heads were not. I could feel her need for me drip down my balls, but she wouldn’t move, and I didn’t want to force her to. I would wait until her body won out.

  “I don’t know… I—” She hesitated and took a breath. “I can’t talk dirty like you want me to. I can’t scream and make those porn star noises you like. I can’t be on top and make this sexy for you. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t want you to look at me and wonder why you’re doing this. I may read about this stuff but I’ve never done it before.”

  “This is your book, Ivy. This is your scene—your character. Show me how Ivy Jaymes would fuck her therapist. Show me how she would ride Caden Morgan’s dick. Read the scene to me. And when you come, come the way Ivy Jaymes would. Not the way I want you to, but the way you would if you were alone. I don’t need anything else… I only need you.”

  “But you like—”

  I interrupted her, “I like you, Ivy. I’ll like anything you give me. And when the time is right, I will fuck you like the men in your books do, and you’ll love it so much you won’t be able to help but to scream my name and claw my back. But that doesn’t matter right now because this is your story to tell. So tell it. Tell me the story of how you became the only woman to ever own me.”

  I was completely contradicting everything I’ve ever felt or believed. Everything I said to her earlier on the couch became a lie. I thought intimate, passionate sex was only for people that desperately needed to feel loved by someone else in order to feel anything for themselves. But as Ivy slowly and erotically grinded on me, I realized that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I believed love to be nothing but a name given to a temporary feeling that could change in a matter of minutes. But as she pulled her body closer, pressing her skin against mine, and our heavy breaths mixed between us, I found that love was more than that. It was more than a feeling. It wasn’t something you simply felt; it consumed all of you and gave you a reason to take that next breath. And although it could be temporary, if you fought for it, love would always win. Ivy fought for me, and I would fight for her. I would never stop fighting for her.

  Her lips were next to my ear, blowing hot air into it in short, frenzied breaths. Her walls began to clench, squeezing me, holding on for dear life and I knew she was about to let go. Her body began to go taught, no longer moving to the same rhythm as before so I dug my fingertips into her hips, feeling her bones beneath them, and helped her ride it out. I was on the edge, straining to hold on. I needed to wait for her to fall. I hadn’t given her any instructions on what to do other than come the way she wanted to. I hadn’t told her what to say or how to act, and I needed to watch it before I gave in.

  A deep sigh left her, landing on my neck as her orgasm hit her. I thought that was it; I thought that was the true way Ivy reacted to release. But then her head shifted and I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder followed by heat. That was when I realized she was biting me, sinking her teeth into me, and marking me, the same way I had marked her. She was showing her ownership over me and I couldn’t hold on any longer.

  I took her hips and slammed her against me, pulling back quickly and then doing it again. Two thrusts and I was coming with the intensity of a pubescent boy receiving his first hand-job. It ran through me, setting my skin on fire and making my eyes roll to the back of my head. I had never felt anything as intense as that before in my life, and I became an instant addict, needing i
t again before the high was even over with.

  A smile curled my lips up as I placed soft kisses on her neck. I felt like a boy winning his first trophy in soccer. In one night, I learned what love was, I found the missing half of me that I never knew was missing, managed to have sex on a bed without hearing blood-curdling screams in my head. Ivy did more than fix me because when you fix something, you can still see where it was broken to begin with. Instead, she remade me from scratch. She built me back up when I had never even known I had fallen and made me stronger.

  She improved me.

  She completed me.

  She fucking owned me.

  “Hold on, Ivy. I’m about to get up,” I said as I flipped her over, keeping myself inside of her. I hadn’t realized until it was over that I wasn’t wearing a condom, nor had I pulled out. But instead of fear filling me, an overwhelming sense of security blanketed me. I knew that no matter what we had just done, it was meant to be. Something that beautiful and intoxicating between two people could never result in something terrible.

  I pulled out slowly, trying to avoid making more of a mess. Her eyes widened, sparkling with fear in the white moonlight that was cast across her face. I saw the panic first, and then the confusion. I didn’t want to focus on that because I didn’t want it to persuade me to feel the same. I didn’t want to be fearful or confused. I wanted to stay in the contented bubble we had created together. I just needed her there with me.

  “I’m going to get a washcloth; don’t move,” I said calmly before leaving her to grab something to clean her up with.

  When I came back, she was still in the same position. She hadn’t moved an inch. And then I placed the cool washcloth against her, causing her to jump back. I stood between her legs and cleaned her off gently, keeping my calm composure. I then wiped myself off and threw the cloth into the laundry basket by the door.