A Time to Surrender

by Sally John

  He had left Jenna in a good space. Unlike ever before, his sister was running on all cylinders. She felt absolutely no trepidation about getting Kevin home. Her biggest concern was how to handle his mother, who would visit from Indiana. She was a difficult personality even Nana avoided.

  Danny had flown to Melbourne, rented a car, driven to Torquay on the coast, purchased a surfboard, checked into a motel, and called Lexi. The only unmarked item on his agenda was to use the board. If Jenna was right, his wallow in self-pity had just swung into high gear. It was party time for the ego.

  With his mind he understood that he had bought into his grandparents’ faith with few questions asked. Christ was real to them; He was real to Danny. They talked to Him in an ongoing conversation; he talked to Him in an ongoing conversation. They went to church; he went to church. The whole world should follow suit.

  He’d always said the right words because he knew them, because he saw them work in Papa and Nana and in his own life. But his rational mind went into overdrive, especially—yeah, yeah, okay. Especially around the time Faith Simmons exited the scene. He needed to take the legalistic path, needed a way that provided an answer for everything and bypassed the heart.

  But he’d experienced heart connections with the almighty God. He had . . .

  As a tyke . . . Papa put him on a boogie board and told him in his booming voice to ride with the Holy One, the Creator of the wind and the seas, the One who put the curl in the wave just so, the perfect place for Danny to meld into the Father’s embrace.

  As a kid . . . his dad signed him up for surf camps.

  As a twelve-year-old . . . Nana slipped him money to buy his first board.

  As a thirteen-year-old . . . he entered his first surfing contest.

  As a seventeen-year-old . . . he floated on a glassy sea, mentally connecting the dots for a Web site design that led him into a career he cared for passionately.

  The connections always involved the surf and his grandfather’s words. Ride with the Holy One.

  The echo of Papa’s voice had faded. Just as well. Danny needed to hear another voice and meld again with Him. If there was a way back to his first love, it would happen on the water.

  Sixty-seven

  You all must be praying up a storm, right?” Skylar’s green eyes shone beneath her short auburn hair. “I mean, I’m surrounded by angels. The guards are polite and the inmates seem normal.” She laughed. “Normal to me, anyway, and you know how that goes.”

  Max chuckled with her and Claire smiled. The girl’s attitude amazed her to no end.

  “And you two. I can’t believe you flew up here for a twenty-minute visit through Plexiglas.” She touched the barrier between them as she spoke into the phone, their only audible connection.

  Claire winked. “Max owed me a trip to San Francisco.”

  He bumped her shoulder and spoke into the receiver they shared. “We would’ve come anyway.”

  Skylar’s smile was sad. Claire fumed to herself. Marlie and David Rockwell, residents of the city, had not yet visited their daughter. Their excuse? The narrow window of opportunity to make it to the jail did not work for them. They would be at her hearing, however.

  Skylar said, “Is Kevin on his way home?”

  They had spoken on the phone since Jenna’s arrival in Germany, so she already knew the specifics of Kevin’s injury.

  Max said, “Yes. They’re scheduled to arrive late tonight. We hope to see him Monday or Tuesday.”

  Claire added, “Jenna sounds upbeat. She’s officially on leave for the remainder of the school year to be with him. If it works out in the spring, she can sub in schools on the base. She’s already an expert on amputees.” Claire felt a jolt of disbelief whenever she said that word. “Kevin’s mother arrived. She’s staying at the hacienda.”

  Skylar chuckled. “Indio told me stories about the woman.”

  Max said, “All true. I had to make my mother promise to be on her best behavior.”

  “I can’t wait for Indio to try out her best behavior with my mom.” Skylar wrinkled her nose. “What about Danny?”

  Claire waited for Max to respond, but he nudged her to do it. “Danny’s in Australia, surfing.” She shrugged. “He talked to Lexi and said he’d keep us posted on his whereabouts but not to expect him home anytime soon. I’m sure Lexi held back some of their conversation. They’ve always done that.”

  Max said, “The bottom line is he needs time alone to sort through whatever. Jenna says he’s either having a late adolescent identity crisis or an early midlife crisis.”

  “Max.” Claire admonished with her tone. He and Jenna could strip an oak clean of its leaves by the force of their sarcasm.

  Skylar said, “He’s hurting. But he’ll be okay. He’s got you two for parents.”

  Max chuckled. “You really don’t have to make points with us, Skylar. We’ll come visit again.”

  “I’m serious. He has healthy roots in you and Ben and Indio. You’ve learned the balance of holding close and letting go.”

  Claire still wondered about that. She supposed she had a better grip on it than Skylar’s parents, who never held their youngest close. Or Kevin’s mother, who held her son too close because his father had left the family.

  Max said, “Is the lawyer working out?”

  “Hector is great. He’s got Law and Order written all over him. Thank you again.”

  “You’re welcome. Where do things stand?”

  “The plea bargain negotiations are almost done. The FBI inter viewed me. I have information they need to convict Fin and some others.” She blew out a breath. “In exchange they’ll reduce my sentence.”

  “To what?” Max asked.

  She shrugged. “Depends on the judge.”

  “If it’s not enough, we’ll appeal—”

  “Max.” Skylar smiled. “Chill. It’s in God’s hands. It’s only by His grace I don’t have to serve the maximum sentence. I am just so happy I get to plead guilty.”

  Max shook his head. “You are nuttier than a fruitcake.”

  She laughed. “Be serious now for a minute. I have a question. There’s a chance they could send me to a federal center near Los Angeles.”

  Claire gasped. “Skylar, you’d be close to us! We can come visit!”

  Tears glistened in Skylar’s eyes.

  Max said, “What’s the question?”

  It took her a moment to respond. “Claire answered it. I was hoping it was all right if we asked for that. Visitors can come on weekends and actually sit in a room together. Hugs are even allowed. I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to come or anything, but . . .” Her voice trailed off.

  Claire dug in her pocket for a tissue.

  Max said, “Skylar, you know us better by now, right? You know we love you.”

  She nodded. “It’s unconditional, isn’t it?”

  “Yep,” he said. “Totally.”

  Sixty-eight

  Seated beside her attorney Hector, aka Perry Mason, listening to the swish of the judge’s robes and muffled coughs of spectators behind her, Skylar could have sworn she was on a movie set. The scent of old polished wood reminded her, however, that the situation was for real.

  Her parents had opted to visit her the previous evening and skip today’s high-profile public hearing. No big deal.

  She sighed to herself. Yes, it was a big deal. Hector had told her it was a big deal. Claire and Max had told her with their expressive eyes that it was a big deal. Her heart told her that it was a big deal.

  God, are You here?

  She slowed her breathing and imagined Jesus standing behind them, one forearm on Hector’s shoulder, the other on hers, speaking softly about how He had everything under control.

  The big deal lay not so much in her mom and dad’s absence, but in her recognition that they had indeed hurt her beyond measure most of her life.

  At the jail last night they had been allowed to sit with her for a short while. Their hugs had been st
iff, their teasing silly, their sage advice even sillier.

  “Annie,” her dad said, “you got a good one. Hector Laredo has a solid reputation. You’re cooperating with the FBI, right?”

  “Completely.”

  “That’s the sensible thing to do. You understand why we can’t be here tomorrow? I do a lot of work with the city.”

  She had nodded. “Maybe I can change my last name before things get started. Again. Officially this time.”

  “It’s already in the papers.” That was her mother’s astute observation.

  Talk about a disconnect. Their conversation never made it beyond that level of skimming the surface. But then why should it after all these years?

  Skylar began to see them as two hurting souls. They had aged. The years of alcohol abuse and pot smoking had caught up to them. A sadness settled into her heart. Indio would probably clap with glee and tell her she might as well start praying for her parents now. It was going to happen eventually.

  She didn’t. Not yet. Maybe after the hearing.

  In the courtroom now she strained her ears to hear what Jesus was saying. Maybe that He loved her?

  She glanced at the profile of the solid man beside her . . . at the wise-looking, silver-haired woman judge . . . at the federal prosecutor’s smooth face . . . at the FBI agent’s teddy-bear appearance . . .

  She most definitely was not on a movie set. Too much kindness pervaded the place. Too much tilted in her favor.

  Mercy. Yes, that’s what it was. Mercy, sweet and thick as molasses, protecting her soul. No matter what they all decided was her future, nothing could take that away.

  Sixty-nine

  The day they buried Uncle BJ’s remains in the military cemetery in Pt. Loma, Jenna attended the memorial service by herself. As much progress as her strong husband had made in five weeks, the long day and rough terrain would have been too much for Kevin.

  Except for Skylar, he had caught up with the family. Erik took Rosie to meet him; Lexi took Nathan; Papa and Indio took Tuyen. He’d always loved the Beaumonts and thought the new additions perfect. He seemed more than ever able to receive the love they poured onto him. His first visit from the hospital would be the hacienda. Her mother already promised to cook his favorite meal.

  A clear, blue December sky and a tangible sense of release mitigated the sadness of the occasion. The Navy did their whole bit with the missing man flyover for a fallen pilot.

  Tuyen stood proudly and received the flag that had draped the coffin. Papa had one arm around his Vietnamese granddaughter and one around Nana. Max and Claire cried through it all. Beth Russell was there with her husband, who seemed like a really nice guy. Danny was still in Australia. Lexi and Erik were there with Nathan and Rosie, both all but members of the Beaumont family. Skylar, of course, couldn’t come, but Lexi had been to see her, and she’d sent her prayers.

  Everyone was talking about prayers.

  After the ceremony people lingered. It was a beautiful setting overlooking San Diego Bay and the downtown area. Jenna had driven herself in order to return to Kevin as soon as possible, but she needed a private moment with Beth Russell, the enigma who had tried to tell her how to make it.

  They walked along the narrow road.

  “Jenna, dear heart.” Like before, the petite woman oozed compassion. “Tell me how you’re doing.”

  “Better than the last time we talked.”

  Beth’s eyebrows rose. “Despite all that’s happened.” It was a statement, not a question. “Then God has been drawing you to Himself.”

  “He has.” Jenna shut her eyes briefly. Publicly recognizing God’s hand in her life felt less and less awkward the more she did it. Still, though, she had to fight down brief attacks of embarrassment. “I have a friend, Amber, who helps me see how God works in my life. Kevin and I have a counselor who is a believer. Kevin, like me, was always more on the independent side.”

  “You had a nodding acquaintance with faith?”

  “Exactly. Interesting how a trauma can kick-start you in a whole different direction.”

  “I believe God lets us walk paths that are best suited to our own personalities. He knows what will sharpen our hearing to better hear Him.”

  “He’s given us hearing aids, too, then.” Thank You, Lord, for that. “We’ve been through . . . Beth, I didn’t do it your way. I failed miserably. I-I cheated on Kevin.”

  Wordlessly, Beth took her hand and held it as they continued strolling.

  “I confessed it to Kevin.” The horror and pain of that moment haunted her.

  “How is he?”

  “Okay. The counselor wasn’t sure of the timing. How much more could my poor husband take after losing a limb? But our marriage is a major part of our learning to live in Kevin’s new reality. It had to come out. He cried. He’s angry. That’s lessening slowly. He’s struggling to understand forgiveness. He has moments of wanting to beat up the guy. He’s had extra sessions with the counselor. But he loves me. I don’t know why, but he does. He refuses to quit on us.”

  Beth squeezed her hand. “He won’t quit. You won’t quit. And God won’t quit. You’ll get through it.”

  Jenna nodded.

  “Have you forgiven him?”

  “For-for what?”

  “For leaving you vulnerable. For getting injured.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

  “You will now. Trust God to give you the strength to let it all go. Do you remember the sycamore tree in your grandparents’ courtyard? The one with the black streak and the new growth?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have been scorched, but the new growth has already sprouted. May I come meet your Kevin before I leave town?”

  “Really? I would love for him to meet you.”

  Beth smiled. “I like to meet people I’ve been praying for.”

  Prayers again.

  Jenna didn’t want to consider where she’d be without them.

  Seventy

  Indio set her teacup on the table beside her rocker with a decided thump. “We’ve got BJ home, and Kevin. Now we need to get Danny and Skylar back.”

  Claire sipped her tea and gazed out the window at the rain. Christmas was in six days. She had turned down guest requests to spend the holidays at the Hideaway. Not this year, she had told them. She wanted it quiet for her son-in-law, who’d been injured in the war. And besides that, she thought to herself, she was doing a little gathering. Danny and Skylar had used up all her surrendering energies for the year. She was reserving enough guest rooms for everyone to have a place to sleep overnight, including Rosie’s father.

  She sighed. “Indio, I was doing just fine until you said that. I miss Danny and Skylar something awful. But there’s no way Skylar can leave prison. I haven’t even prayed for Danny’s return because he needs this time away. I can give that to him. Just let me enjoy the ones who will be here.”

  Indio chuckled. “Hit a nerve, did I?”

  “Yes, I guess you did. Why does that make you giddy?”

  Indio laughed out loud. “Because it means God is at work!”

  Claire rolled her eyes. “Let’s just slow it down for a bit, shall we?”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Listen, I’ve been praying since Thanksgiving about our couples. I asked God to bring Danny home for Christmas, to shorten Skylar’s stay, and to give Jenna and Kevin a baby. Did you know they can have babies? That Kevin is, you know, functioning in that way?”

  “You asked?”

  “Didn’t you?”

  Claire gaped at her mother-in-law.

  “And I prayed oodles of blessings on the other couples. They’re all just so right for each other. Even that odd boy Hawk with Tuyen.”

  “Amen. Can I get you some more tea or anything?”

  “You’re changing the subject, dear. Now, pay attention. If God wants to send an earthquake to the detention center and break Skylar out of it, He will.”

>   “Indio! You didn’t ask Him to—”

  “No, not specifically. I’m only thinking of what He could do. If He wants to upset the entire penal system so the paperwork releases her this week, He will.”

  “Skylar is adamant about serving her time.”

  Indio swatted the air. “She has a thing or two to learn about grace. The point is, are you with me?”

  “In believing God can do anything? Sure.” Whatever. Just hit the brakes and end this crazy ride.

  “Good.” Indio rocked, an expression of smugness on her face. “Let’s just sit here and expect God to do something.”

  “Close enough to hitting the brakes,” Claire muttered to herself and went over to the oven to check on a batch of cookies. When the phone rang she froze, the cookie sheet in her hand.

  Indio clapped. “That didn’t take long.”

  Claire set down the pan and picked up the phone, surprised at a twinge of anxiety. The caller ID read Private.

  “Hello?”

  “Mom, it’s me.” Danny.

  Claire pulled out the desk chair and sank onto it. “Hi!” A giggle started somewhere deep in her chest. She held it in.

  “Surprise! I’m in L.A.”

  She grinned. “No way.”

  “Yeah. I’ll be there late tomorrow night. I’m staying over here so I can . . . so I can visit Skylar tomorrow. They have Sunday visiting hours, don’t they?”

  “Yes, yes they do. That’s great, Danny. I’m glad to hear that.” They chatted for a few minutes about mundane things. Claire said a silent prayer of thanks that Skylar had already—in faith—put Danny’s name on her approved visitors list.

  She told her son good-bye and turned to Indio.

  Her mother-in-law laughed and clapped her hands again. “All you had to do was ask Him.”

  Seventy-one

  The security rigmarole at the prison far surpassed any airport’s.

  Understandable, Danny thought, but it threw him for a loop. What was he getting himself into besides the room for visitors?

  At first glance, he didn’t quite recognize Skylar. Because the woman’s vibes struck him as familiar, though, he took a second look.