‘You’re joking? Nice one.’ She leapt forward and grabbed him, as much to stop his public shimmying as to congratulate him.
‘Can you believe? I didn’t think I had a sniff since I’ve got no experience, but they must have liked something about me eh?’
‘So what exactly is it you’ll be doing then? Is it related to your degree?’
‘That’s the best bit. It’s business management, which is what I got a 2:1 in last year. How fucking cool is that?’ He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up, and began swaying her around as he spoke.
‘Oh that’s brilliant. Well done my prince.’ She kissed him on the end of his nose, ‘Can I ask you a favour?’
‘Anything today sweetness.’
‘Could you put me down now please before I’m sick on you?’
‘Sorry. Right, can we do celebratory stuff now?’
‘Anything you like, now that you’re a member of the workforce.’
‘I’ll think of something novel,’ he assured her.
She took his hand and they walked into town at a more leisurely pace than they’d arrived. They ambled their way through the streets, not particularly going anywhere, when Jack suddenly changed direction and began to laugh.
‘Go on then, what now?’ She asked, prepared for anything now.
‘I remember once I was out with a couple of lads from uni and we passed a swimming baths.’
Katie looked at him, realising that, once again, she’d no idea where this was going.
‘We’d had a few drinks and we spotted this sign that said towel hire and costume for two pound fifty.’ He began to laugh at the recollection.
‘So?’
‘So we kicked off with all these mental suggestions for costumes, like Batman and that. Can you imagine paying your money and you go in the cubicle and come out dressed like Batman with your towel under your arm?’ Jack was giggling now, ‘Or a cowboy, with a horse and everything. Ha ha, for two and half quid.’ Jack was struggling to walk now, laughing hysterically.
She had to admit she saw the funny side and laughed with him, despite the scene he was making, ‘So is that the plan then?’
‘What?’ He gasped as his laughter faded.
‘Swimming? It’s a gorgeous day; we could go to that new fitness place, Withington something or other it’s called. They have a pool, bars, restaurants, the lot.’
‘Brilliant. Do they hire costumes?’
‘Probably not like you want you fool,’ she laughed leading him to a taxi rank, ‘We’ll go home and get ready, then go there for lunch and a swim. How does that grab you?’
‘Hot sunny day, you in a swimming cossy and alcohol. Hmmm, sounds alright to me.’ They climbed into a taxi and directed the driver to Jack’s house to collect his things first, both looking forward to spending the day with the other; any feelings Katie still had for Dave being pushed progressively further into the recesses of her mind.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Rhia picked up the remote control from the table in front of her and changed the channel. She’d been sprawled in front of the television since coming home from work, feeling tired and depressed. After sitting through a feeble episode of Coronation Street where nothing really happened, always the case when they were between big storylines, she’d started to watch a documentary on the same channel. Within minutes though, it became clear that it was a programme about babies and how they affected people’s lives. They were interviewing people who’d given up babies for adoption, people who were themselves adopted and, of course, people who’d been through abortions and the effects they had both physically and emotionally on those involved.
The programme began to make her feel very uncomfortable, the so-called experts seemed to be passing judgement on those who considered termination as an option. This angered Rhia as, when she’d made her appointment and gone to the hospital, she felt like she’d no other choice. The programme seemed to suggest that only people who didn’t care or were selfish could do such a thing, but she’d felt physically ill at the idea. Now she’d made her decision and she still felt awful and was still alone. Ben would have to be told sooner rather than later but last time had been a disaster. As soon as she’d mentioned Steve’s name, Ben had gone justifiably mad before throwing her out of the house. Since then, he simply hadn’t answered the telephone.
The programme makers appeared to have made up their minds that people who had abortions were evil and didn’t deserve children. After sitting through five minutes of moralising, she changed the channel when they started showing pictures of how a baby develops in the womb and at what point it can be considered to be alive. Not wanting to see this, and feeling guilty enough already, she channel hopped for something else to occupy her.
Still far from convinced that her choice was the right one, Rhia thought about the pain she’d caused that now seemed so unnecessary. She’d hurt both Steve, the father of the child, as well as Ben, who so desperately wanted to be a father, and, as a result of all the lying and fighting; she’d ultimately hurt herself.
What had begun as a means of support through a bad patch in her relationship, had grown into an affair with someone who saw her as no more than someone to impress his friends with, she could imagine Steve whispering the details in various ears, reminding them not to say anything to Ben. Then, of course, she’d become pregnant, and there was no going back. Her affair became undeniable and Ben had been crushed. Even her own sister, initially on her side during the separation from Ben, said she felt ashamed to be related to Rhia.
She sat in front of the television, looking at the pictures but no longer watching whatever was on. She realised how selfish she’d been. Her only concern had been for herself. I was unhappy with Ben so I ran away. I was sleeping with Ben’s best mate and didn’t tell him. Then I got pregnant and all I’m worried about is how it will affect me.
Now it seemed like it might be too late, decisions had been made and she couldn’t blame Ben for never wanting to see her again. She was a disgrace and only now did she appreciate, and regret, what she’d done.
Her tactic of not ringing Ben hadn’t worked either. It was five days since she’d tried to contact him and it was tearing her apart. Frustrated, she decided to stop playing games and ring him a few more times. She’d no real idea what to say, perhaps apologise some more, try to make him see that she really was sorry and try to explain what had happened. If there was any chance that he might still be interested in what she had to say, it was worth trying.
* * * * * *
Ben heard the telephone ringing and his first reaction was to leap up from his chair and run to answer it. He hadn’t heard from Rhia for days and was reaching the point where he’d have to ring her, if only to confirm she was okay. He was still pissed off with her, and unable to see a way forward for them, but, in spite of how hurt he felt, he couldn’t help worrying about her.
He looked at the small screen on the telephone and recognised her number flashing on and off. He didn’t want to fight with her, but was scared that there was no other way. He couldn’t bring himself to lift the receiver and finally the ringing stopped. He was still looking at the phone when it began to ring again. This time, he took a deep breath and snatched the receiver to his ear, determined to be strong, to take the lead.
‘What?’ He demanded angrily.
‘Oh, hi Ben,’ Rhia was surprised to hear his voice, ‘I was just about to give up.’
‘I thought you already had. I assume you’ve been too busy elsewhere for the past few days to bother ringing me.’ He knew it was none of his business what she did, but he had to know she hadn’t been with Steve, that when she’d told him it meant nothing, that, at least, had been the truth.
‘I was hoping you might have rung me actually,’ she said, the disappointment evident in her voice.
‘Not bloody likely Rhia. I’ve done all the running I’m going to do with you. How’s lover boy then? Still a twat I assume?’
‘He rang me
and had a go at me since you ask. Said he’d seen you. It sounds like he might be moving; he’s been offered a transfer or something.’
‘Good, further away the better. Bastard!’
‘Alright,’ she said wearily, ‘Let’s not fight. Please.’
She sounded tired and Ben was finding it hard to maintain his anger toward her. It was far too easy to imagine wrapping his arms around her, kissing her lightly on the forehead and telling her it would be all right.
‘So what do you want then?’ His voice more gentle now.
‘I’m sorry,’ she started, and then before he had the chance to interrupt, ‘I know I’ve said it before and I know it’s not going to make everything alright, but I am.’ She stopped, unsure what else to say now that she had the chance, waiting for a response from him.
‘Fair enough you’re sorry. But we’ve had our turn Rhia. It would be the easiest thing in the world for me to pretend everything was roses, but we’d be fighting inside of a week.’
‘I know. I’m not expecting anything.’
‘So why bloody ring then?’ He was suddenly annoyed. He wanted her to want him so that he had the upper hand. So that he could keep pushing her away for what she’d done. If she was resigned to them not being a couple anymore then he’d nothing to use against her.
‘I don’t know. I just wanted to hear your voice, make sure you were okay.’
‘Bugger off. You wanted to make yourself feel better. You’re not bothered about me.’ Ben’s anger was giving way to distress, and he found himself becoming upset.
‘Right, fine.’ She lost her patience. ‘You know where I am if you want to talk.’ She was trying to sound dismissive, but felt as if she’d wasted an opportunity to score some points with him.
‘Unlikely. Bye.’ He put down the telephone and banged the ball of his hand against the wall.
The conversation had begun with some promise, neither of them wanting to fight, but equally unsure what to say to avoid confrontation. Therefore, the exchange had ended as they’d both suspected it must, with argument and each trying to convince the other that they didn’t care.
Sighing heavily at yet another unwanted altercation with the man she loved, Rhia decided that the only way she was going to be able to say everything she felt about what she’d done, her feelings towards Ben, and their situation as a whole, was to write him a letter. At least that way, she could put her thoughts into words without interruptions or argument from him and, hopefully, he might take more notice of her if he took the time to think about what she was saying without having to actually speak to her. She also realised that, after seeing him face-to-face, and talking by telephone, she’d nothing to lose.
Since she rarely wrote letters by hand, she had to ask her sister if there was any notepaper in the house. Then, after taking paper and pen to her room, she positioned herself on the end of her bed, much like a teenager writing a letter to a friend or lover, and began to pour out her heart in the hope that this, finally, might get Ben to change his mind.
Having had a shower to try and calm himself down after speaking to Rhia, Ben was making himself a cup of tea, still only wrapped in a towel, when the telephone began to ring again. Immediately his heart picked up speed and he was in two minds about whether to take the phone off the hook for the rest of the evening. He looked at the number on the screen and smiled with relief.
‘Hello Em, what’s up?’
‘Nothing. I was at a loose end and wondered if I could persuade you to accompany a gorgeous single girl to the cinema this evening.’
‘Yeah,’ he answered, smiling, ‘Who’s the girl?’
‘Me you cheeky sod. I’ve been fancying the new George Clooney film and it won’t be on much longer.’
‘Who else is going?’ He kicked himself, realising that it sounded like he wanted it to be just the two of them.
‘Nobody, that’s why I’m ringing you, everyone else is doing something.’
‘Thanks very much mate. What time’s it start then?’
They made the arrangements and then Ben hurried upstairs to get dressed, glad at having a distraction for the night, to keep his mind away from Rhia. Half an hour later, he was heading out of the front door, stopping for a second to turn on the answering machine, hoping fleetingly that there might be a positive message waiting for him when he came home.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Katie was on her way to Jen’s flat for a girl’s night in. It was the day after Jack had announced that he’d successfully found a job, and they’d spent a wonderful day together, swimming and drinking in the glorious sunshine. They’d returned home to Katie’s flat, exhausted and both with red faces where they’d caught the sun. That evening they’d shared a shower to rid themselves of the smell of chlorine and gone to bed early, curling up together like two spoons as they drifted off to sleep.
Katie arrived at Jen’s, having stopped at an off-licence on the way to pick up a bottle of wine and a big bar of chocolate for them to work their way through. Jen was pleased to see Katie without Jack, not because she didn’t like him, she actually felt that Jack was perfect for her friend and was pleased that she was happy, but because Katie was always distracted when she was with him. She’d be chatting away but her attention would keep wandering back to Jack, and they were unable to have the same depth of female chat as when they were alone.
The evening had come about because Jack had managed to drag himself home for an early night before he started his new position the following day. Therefore, Katie had found herself with an unexpected free night which she was more than happy to spend catching up with her best mate.
‘Hi,’ Jen said in an elongated fashion, opening the door.
‘Alright,’ Katie responded, handing over the plastic bag containing the wine, ‘Nice bottle of red I thought.’
‘Lovely,’ Jen said, taking the bottle to the kitchen to get some glasses.
Katie sat down in her usual chair, not needing to be invited. She made herself comfortable and flicked through a handy magazine while she waited for Jen to return with the drinks.
‘So is he well pleased about the job then?’ Jen asked re-appearing with the open bottle of wine and a pair of glasses.
‘Too right he is. He’s been temping for ages so it’s about time he got something a bit more permanent.’
‘Brilliant. So he’s having an early night tonight eh? How will you cope?’ Jen asked sarcastically.
‘I’ll ring him later for phone sex,’ Katie joked. ‘Anyway, what’s happening with you and men at the moment?’
‘Hmm, fuck all really. I’ve been rushed off me feet at work lately so I’ve not had the energy to go out.’
‘Are you sure? What about that bloke you bought the pink number for? I bet he enjoyed himself that night.’
‘Norm you mean?’
‘Norm! Hang on a minute; didn’t you go out with him the other week?’
Jen kicked herself for being caught out so easily. ‘Erm, no I don’t think so.’
Katie sat up and grinned. ‘You did. Jen, you sly cow. You’re seeing Normy.’
‘Oh, I’ve only been out with him a few times. He’s nice. But there’s nothing to it.’
‘So you’re still seeing other people then?’
‘Well….’
‘I knew it. After all you’ve said about being a single girl as well. Well, he must be impressive to have kept you interested.’
‘I’m not seeing him and that’s it. He’s okay for now but I’m a very demanding girl.’ Jen emphasised the very and re-filled her glass with wine.
‘So you’re still dead against sticking with someone for longer than a couple of shags then?’ Katie questioned seriously. ‘Even if you really liked him?’
‘You know me and the concept of trust mate, it doesn’t happen. After what my mum had to put up with from my lying shit of a dad. Put me off a bit.’ Jen was glad to get away from talking about Norm. It made her uncomfortable because she did really like him b
ut wasn’t ready to admit it to her friends yet in case it all went horribly wrong.
‘Not everyone’s like that though Jen. Look at Jack.’
‘Yeah, but then look at Dave,’ Jen responded, shooting her friend a knowing look. ‘For every half decent bloke there are ten who’ll fuck you about the first chance they get. My mum worked her arse off to look after me and my sister, while my dad was off with anything that would lay still long enough. Every time she let him off he did it again.’ Jen sounded bitter and took a long drink.
‘I know, I know,’ Katie soothed, not wanting to upset her friend, ‘But do you think by fucking and chucking every man you meet, it’ll make you feel any better?’
‘Why not? They get all they’re after and I get to fuck them about. Free meals, nights out in some superb hotels and then I just tell them to sod off when I’ve had my fun.’
‘Mmm, maybe. I just think it’s nice to have someone to share stuff with. Fair enough, blokes like Dave make it hard, but you’ve got to give them a chance. If I worked like you, then I wouldn’t have Jack.’
‘True. I have to admit, he is nice. Seems mad keen on you too. I’m pleased for you, really. But I can’t let myself take the chance.’
‘Not even for Normy?’ Katie teased.
‘Fuck off!’
Jen sounded annoyed, and Katie could sense the evening coming to a premature end if they didn’t change topics. Thinking quickly, she suggested they go out for a late meal, knowing they could always eat plenty when they’d been drinking. Jen agreed and they decided to go to Barca, a local café bar in Catalan Square that they’d both tried before and enjoyed. Since it was a mild night, they decided to walk to the restaurant, taking their coats in case the weather turned cooler later on.
On the way, they discussed relationships further and Katie made a few more gentle attempts to persuade Jen that there were countless benefits to being part of a couple. Despite her obvious reluctance, which Jen felt was based on sound reasoning due to the infidelity endured by her mother; she had to admit that she’d like someone to be there for her, someone other than Katie and her other friends. Although she enjoyed the conquest of meeting men and using them for sex before casually discarding them, the idea of having a friendship with a man, or a relationship that wasn’t purely based on sex, appealed to her. However, she felt unable to open herself up to the potential abuse that such closeness and trust could bring with it. Her mother’s experience and the bad relationships she’d seen her friends have, were enough to persuade her that she was in the right.
Playground Cool Page 17