by Aya DeAniege
“Now, you have a comfort item,” I said. “When was the last time you had one of those?”
“Never,” Grace said, then set her mouth on the back of the bear’s head.
“Never?”
She shook her head.
“All my clothing was hand-me-downs. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for what I got, I knew it could have been a hell of a lot worse, but no one’s giving up toys in the homes.”
“But, birthdays and Christmases.”
“Underwear, socks, school supplies, and I was happy for it,” she said.
“These people got paid to pay for things for you, and none of them bothered to buy things that a normal child would have?”
Grace shrugged.
“I was fed, I was clothed, I was educated and unmolested. I just wasn’t pampered. I didn’t go to prom. I didn’t walk down the aisle for my graduation or party, oh well.”
“You can say what you like about it not mattering to you, but you’re hugging those stuffed animals pretty tightly.”
“Just because I didn’t get it, doesn’t mean I didn’t pretend to be a princess, or wish I had those things. I just know that the people who raised me did the best they could with what they had. They don’t pay you a lot to take on a child, because then, you know, it’d be the only reason why. I guess.”
“You can tell me about what you want,” I said.
I turned my attention to the window and watched the buildings flow by. As I watched the shop fronts turn to apartment buildings, I sighed out quietly.
“Even if that means that we can’t be lovers because you think there are going to be some sexual strings attached, fine, but I can’t stand seeing someone working hard and getting nowhere because the system is fucking them over.”
It was a gamble, and I knew it was. Saying that to her, offering an out. You never offered them an out, because if a demon had even a shred of attachment to her, they would take that out and run with it. Get as far away as possible. When I turned back to Grace, she was watching me with her big, brown eyes. She blinked several times, then shrugged.
That was her go-to response, and it meant something, but I didn’t know her well enough yet to say what it meant. I had a nagging suspicion that she shrugged when she found herself in a position which she couldn’t respond to properly in an emotional fashion. Either she had suppressed the emotion over time or had been taught an unhealthy response to it, which she was trying to hide from me.
I was one of the few people she could have any reaction to, including full on attacking me, and I’d understand. I had seen it all before. I knew it wasn’t how she’d want to react. I wouldn’t take offense to being slapped across the face, only to have her break down into tears and run away, arms swinging awkwardly in the air.
That had been Mary, not Lillith. She had been relieved that I had found a way to save her, but she hadn’t known how to express her gratitude in a healthy manner.
Sulking would no doubt follow, and I didn’t feel comfortable just allowing her to go to Lilly in the state that she might have been in.
The change in her voice over the phone, and her mention of having a fly infestation worried me a great deal. She hadn’t gone running at the first opportunity, but Baal was not the type to give himself away that easily. He was smarter than the average demon, more clever in all that he did.
We pulled to a stop outside Lilly’s building.
“I don’t want to not…” Grace said, picking at the heads of her new companions.
She wouldn’t meet my eyes, and I got that. I understood that there was a lot of emotion that she was struggling with right then. I watched her in silence and tried not to sigh out or seem like I was pushing her. Instead, I reached out and set my hand gently on her leg. When she turned to look at me finally, I couldn’t help but smile.
Her eyes were big and wide open. There was an innocence there, a clarity of mind.
Grace was free of any demonic influence. There she was, just her with nothing else forcing her hand.
“Let’s head upstairs so Lilly can kick my ass.”
“Why would she do that?” Grace asked.
“You’ll have to come up to find out,” I murmured, then slipped out of the vehicle.
A moment of awkwardness followed as I stood on the sidewalk with the car door open. It was long enough that I wondered if Grace would refuse to come out at all.
When she finally did, she didn’t even look at me, just headed for the door of the building.
I slipped my hands into my pockets and followed after her, nodding curly at the doorman as he held the door open for me.
I reached the elevator as the doors began to close, having to turn sideways to make it in. The ride up was silent. Grace just stood there, holding her stuffed animals. I stayed as still as I could, watching the floors of the building counted out on the screen above the door.
When the doors opened again, Grace went first, and I followed after. At Lilly’s door, she entered and closed the door behind her.
Growling through gritted teeth, I stood just outside the door, scowling at it. I knew that Grace hadn’t meant anything by it, but that didn’t keep me from being crabby about it.
Lilly opened her door and peered at me as she sipped her tea. One of her eyebrows arched upward. I saw the curve of her lips upward behind that cup. I remained silent as the mug lowered and she swallowed.
“So… you broke my Grace?”
“She’s not your Grace, she’s my Grace,” I said sternly.
Lilly smiled at me and pushed the door open wider.
“I cleaned out as much of the office as I could in the last hour, and put an air mattress in there. There’s a couple of blankets. That’s where she headed. I’m going out.”
“With the tea?” I asked.
“It needs to be walked, or it gets cranky,” she said with a little shake of her head as she walked away, sipping her tea.
I entered the apartment and headed straight to office Lilly had mentioned.
For me, it was simple to tell the difference between the doors of Lilly’s home. Despite all the years, she still lived very similar to how she had before. Mint still hung in the air around her door. Above it was the symbol of protection, though it had branched outward, into a warding and a mixing of dream state reality.
It was the kind of magic that I expected of a woman of her calibre. She had changed but in a growing sort of fashion rather than a complete alteration.
The office had fresh paint over the door. Into it had been embossed the symbol to protect against all warding and demonic possession. It filled the space above the door and had begun to trail down the sides.
Lilly had either been planning it for a long time, or she was a great deal faster than she had once been.
I slipped into the room and almost closed the door behind me, but didn’t entirely.
At the door, I stepped out of my shoes, placing them right there. There had been a time or two in the past when some creature had crawled into my shoes to hide from Lilly’s magic, I preferred to keep them close to keep from getting bitten by something born of Hell.
Grace watched me as I slipped my belt off and set that by my shoes along with my phone and wallet. With nothing in my pockets, I sat on the edge of the air mattress and looked over at Grace.
“I get the stuff from your pockets, but why the belt?” she asked.
I slipped out of my jacket and set it on the floor by the mattress, then laid down and lifted my arm. Grace shifted toward me, laying against my side with a little sound. Her leg moved up my legs, hooking over my body.
“Because if I didn’t, you might get the belt in an uncomfortable place,” I murmured, bending to kiss the top of her head.
Grace sat up and watched me for a moment. Her eyes flowed over my face and then focused on my eyes once more. I watched as she seemed to weigh a decision. Whatever her decision, her chin lowered to my chest, sitting just above my tattoo as her eyes closed and she let out
a little, happy sound.
I forced myself to relax, staring up at the ceiling.
“Fuck it,” I heard her say.
Which gave me a puzzled moment. That was all I had.
And then Grace rose up and captured my lips with hers. It was a clumsy slip of a thing, unbalanced and a little wetter than I preferred as her tongue thrust sloppily into my mouth. I lay there and allowed it to happen, wondering what she was doing and what I should be doing in response.
Of course, I knew what I could do, but I didn’t know what she wanted me to do. A confident woman was fantastic, but normally I knew they were confident from the first meeting. I could tell what they wanted and how they wanted it by everything that they did.
Grace adjusted, climbing on top of me. Her hips ground against me, imitating what was on her mind.
The heat of her brushing against me, pushing and rubbing like that, made me bite my lip. I reached up and slipped my hands over her hips, rubbing up and down as she bent and kissed me once more.
This time, the electricity crackled across my tongue. A tingling began in my mouth, setting fire to my loins. The warmth spread all over, yet it was edged with a cold crackle. Thunder was riding along my nerves underneath it all, a raging storm that could only be calmed by her tender flesh quivering under mine.
I rolled us, pinning Grace against the air mattress with my body. It was my turn to thrust, rubbing against her in need. My hands slipped between us, tugging at her clothing.
The kiss broke off for a moment, but only because she pulled away to grab her shirt and slip it over her head. I tossed it to the side. And then we kissed again, my hands on her sides, fingers tracing across her stomach and down her hips.
Pulling back, I tried to keep the growl from my voice, but only barely restraining the animalistic snarl that threatened to rumble out of my mouth.
“Take the rest off,” I snarled.
She moved immediately to obey. As she stripped off her clothing, I sat back and watched it happen. I enjoyed the way her flesh was revealed, inch by inch. She flushed when she realized that I was watching her, little goosebumps appearing on her arms. There was a shuddering to her sides that flowed down her legs and gave her toes a little curl. Watching the way her toes moved, I couldn’t help but wonder what she had been thinking about.
Had it been me?
At that moment, had she slipped into a fantasy of my… slipping into her?
“Aren’t you going to strip?” she asked.
I grabbed her leg and pushed it to the side, then grabbed the other when she tried to bring it forward, to close her legs to me. Pushing gently, making certain not to use too much force, I moved her back and against the mattress.
Then I lowered myself.
I did not attempt to make eye contact because only a few women appreciated that. While I was feeling bold, and I wanted to see every blush and lip bite as I had my way with her, I wanted her to enjoy it.
Completely free of any outside force, I wanted to see what she could do, what she wanted, and how she’d take to whatever pleasure I felt like gifting her.
She had not removed her underwear, but that wasn’t a problem for me. I brought my face level to her white cotton underwear. I breathed in her scent, and it turned me on, I couldn’t recall the last time the scent of a woman sent such a tremble of desire through me. I pressed my lips against her, swallowing several times.
I moved my lips like we were kissing. I used a strength that I had perfected to manipulate her flesh. A woman did not need direct contact. She needed a rhythmic pressure that was not too hard and not too soft. She needed heat and an understanding of how her body worked and moved. When Grace moved, so did I. No matter how much she writhed, I followed her along, giving absolutely no ground, no chance to catch her breath or recover.
Until that first all consuming shudder.
The moment I felt it, I pulled away. I’m almost certain that I left a trail of cold in my wake. I reached out and trailed my fingers down the side of her throat, then her sides as the next shudder one came over her.
As Grace tumbled over that to which I had driven her, I simply sat back and watched. I knew the act of it would leave a raw ache in its wake, a need that wouldn’t be sated then.
No, it would drive her deeper into the need, because as she orgasmed, there was nothing to back up that feeling, to make her feel like it was anything more than a wet dream.
Grace’s bodily shake turned to a tremble. She began to calm down, and that was when I reached. I took hold of her underwear and stripped it off, tossing it to the side. Grace made a little sound of protest.
That was when I slipped off the air mattress. I watched her watch me undress. Her half-closed eyes holding little understanding. She didn't know what I had planned for her.
Which was fine by me.
After stripping off my clothing, I slipped back to Grace, pinning her hot body with my own.
I had been hard since the moment she began stripping, but I was used to putting off my own needs for those of my wards. Then, though, was different. This thing we did had nothing to do with anything else I had been doing for centuries.
I was hard, and I had a need. A need to possess the woman beneath me, to be buried inside of her and hear her moan out my name. I wanted to hear that, to just…
The mere idea of it was almost too much for me to handle.
“Beg me to,” I whispered to her.
“Please,” she begged, then bit her bottom lip as she reached around me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Please, more.”
I spread her legs once more. There was no resistance. Grace made another little sound as I pressed close.
While I had wanted to hear the words, I also wanted to take my sweet time. I slipped into her, then out again, enjoying the feeling of it. I did that several more times, just for the idea of it. Of how I could do such a thing.
“Sam,” she moaned, legs wrapping around me.
At her rumbled complaint, I thrust into her, feeling her tense around me. I had to lower my head to her shoulder, trying desperately not to do something I might regret. I wanted to live in that moment and feel it all. I had to take a moment to center myself.
That next thrust was almost too much.
It simply wouldn’t work if that continued, but I couldn’t help it. Every clench of her muscles, every tremble to her skin. The flush, pink blush that was creeping through her face and outward. It was all just too much. I kept myself as close as I could while I thrust again. I tried desperately to hold on, but I couldn’t.
The idea of it overwhelmed me.
In the end, I have no idea how long I lasted. I was caught off guard by all that was Grace. I couldn’t help myself. It had never happened like that before, and when I say that, I meant it. Never before had a woman caught me off guard. I had tumbled over my own feet, as one might say.
I ended up panting against Grace’s shoulder, worried what she thought of me for such a pathetic performance.
When I pulled away, I expected many things.
What I didn’t expect was the sleepy little smile and her curling against my side.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly before she might criticize me for something.
“For what?”
“That was bad.”
“Bad? I was bad?” she asked, suddenly sitting up.
“What, no, you where… Way too good, that’s why I was bad. I wasn’t expecting that.”
Grace frowned at me. For a long moment, we stared at one another. Then she made an annoyed sound, and that frown deepened.
“Sam, if that was bad for you, I can’t tell the difference between your bad and good,” she said with a shake of her head. “You thought that was bad? Bad enough for an apology?”
Suddenly, I was embarrassed. I looked away. When I did, Grace set her hand on my jaw and pulled my face back toward her. She seemed to grimace at me.
“Whatever women you’ve been with, have apparently been way too ent
itled. Men get on, they grunt, and they get off.”
“Isn’t that what I did?” I asked.
“Technically, but before you did that,” Grace trailed off and grinned at me. “I’d agree to a poke and hump for that.”
“What’s a poke and … oh,” I said as the idea came over me.
She nodded, then shrugged.
“Maybe I’m just easy.”
“To please,” I added. “You’re easy to please. I guess. I’d just, I mean.”
“Quit apologizing,” she said sternly. “And, can you, you know, maybe do that again? Not right now, but in an hour. After I’ve napped?”
I dreamed of Sam again. We were in his club, sitting in that booth and his arm was around me. His other hand was sitting on my leg, slipped up under my skirt but still resting just above the knee. I could feel the heat of it, of his body pressed against mine.
His cologne sent a tingle through me as I turned my face toward him, breathing it in without meaning to.
I didn’t think you could smell things in dreams.
But there it was, Sam’s cologne bringing up the memories from nights previous. The feel of him against me sent a liquid heat curling through my belly and slowly spreading outward. My fingers tingled as I reached out and picked my drink off the table.
The blue light within the drink seemed to throb with the loud music of the club. I looked over the drink, to the mass of silhouettes that were supposed to be the dancers on the floor. Their arms were pulled upward, almost like taffy, like they were trying their best to touch the ceiling. With the drink at my lips, I hesitated. I turned to Sam and saw a flash of something.
“Not thirsty?” he asked.
He sat forward, taking the glass from me and sipping from it himself. As he sipped, I felt an exhaustion come over me. As if everything I was drained away when he drank from my glass.
Lilly had said something about a chalice being a symbol for the body. Which made that cup my body and the blue drink that seemed to throb in time with the music, my being.
Sam was literally drinking my being, consuming me as I watched. That was why I felt sudden exhaustion setting in, despite being asleep.
I reached out and took the glass back from him, turning and setting it back on the table, where it belonged. It didn’t feel right to me, to sip from my glass. It just sat there as I stared across the table at the dance floor.