by Aya DeAniege
Sam reached out with his hand and placed a single finger on my chin, pulling my face back toward him. My attention seemed to shudder as I tried to focus on him. The images were disjointed like they were put together as an after thought.
He kissed me, tongue forcing its way into my mouth as I fumbled, struggling to figure out what was going on. My body felt like everything was moving around, oozing away even as it sucked back into my form.
Everything became a confused mess. It was too much for me to keep up with, I was being tugged down into the state of a dreamer barely lucid.
No longer in control of my own body, I moved as Sam moved. He pushed me against the cushions of the booth we sat in, writhing against me.
When I tried to push him away, he grabbed my hands and pinned me down.
My mouth opened to protest, but my voice was gone. No longer able to remove consent, I attempted to struggle, only to find that nothing seemed to want to move.
It was much like many frustrated nightmares before. I was caught in place, unable to escape as he did what he pleased to me.
Everything in me tried to get away, tried to fight back. Over and over, I tried to get something to work, but nothing would move.
In a startling moment, I shoved him away from me. He frowned down at me, seeming not to understand.
To make my point clear, I reached out and slapped him, then tried to scoot out from under him. He grabbed me and slammed me back against the booth, growling through gritted teeth.
“Off,” I gasped out, reaching up and aiming for his eyes with my nails. “Off!”
My fingers found purchase, scratching at his face and neck. Angry red welts appeared on his face. The welts began fizzing and sloughing off as I struggled harder to get away.
Kicking at his stomach, I managed to squirm away. I scooted across the booth as he snarled.
“Grace,” he growled like an animal.
For some reason, I moved back toward him.
I grabbed the drink off the table and held it close and carefully as I escaped once more. This time, I put the table between us. Glass still in my hands, I looked at Sam, then out across the club. I couldn’t escape if I had to keep the liquid in the glass.
I downed the drink, threw the glass at Sam for good measure to stop him for a moment longer, then bolted. I ran around the dance floor headed for where the door of the club was in reality.
Those on the dance floor began melting toward me, reaching with their long arms. I moved further away and pressed against the bar as I tried to get away. The club seemed to stretch on forever. Its end was no longer in sight.
Turning to look at the bar itself, I found it was changing, behind me it was morphing shape, becoming a worm. The bartender behind it had also changed. He was suddenly naked and red all over, like the devil of a Halloween costume. Horns were growing as I watched.
It was that dream moment where I looked over what I saw before me, what was behind me, then down at the floor, and just thought…
Nope, fuck this.
I bolted.
Things became a blur, I got turned around, or maybe it was just what it was. A dreamscape shifting before my eyes, but my mind not being able to keep up. Suddenly I wasn’t in the club anymore, I was running through a cave and Sam was directly behind me. I don’t know how I knew that he was there, but I knew.
Just as the exit of the cave came into sight, Sam tackled me to the ground. I still fought him, even as he pinned me down. Even as he bent, with his mangled face, and kissed me. I bit him for that, but he only bit me back. It was the strangest thing because I didn’t react in anger.
I moaned.
His fingers dug painfully into my wrists, his weight on top of me seemed to be simply too much. I couldn’t help but writhe under him, moaning against his lips. His tongue plundered my mouth, delving into my depths as he reached between us.
Sam dragged up my skirt, handling me roughly. His fingers thrust into me, then back out. The motion repeated itself, and each time was an agonizing delight.
Even as I continued to try to get away, I pressed down on his fingers, begging for more. My body went through those motions, rising and almost making it there, so close and yet so far away. I tried and tried to get over that edge, but nothing worked.
Just as that edge came up once more, almost there, taunting me with how near I was, I woke up.
Startled, I drew in a long breath and stared up at the ceiling in confusion.
I was confused because I couldn’t figure out where I was. The ceiling was unfamiliar, the bed didn’t feel right, and it was colder than normal. Not even the blankets felt right. I turned, groaning at the half-inflated air mattress that was far too soft.
Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and looked around wearily.
I was in Lilly’s office-slash-room. The one that she had designated as my new bedroom. I was by myself, the blankets tangled up around my legs. Sweat soaked my back and brow, as if a fever had come over me.
Slipping off the air mattress, I tiptoed to the door, not knowing what time it was.
Sam had been there when I had fallen asleep. I had no idea where he had gone. His clothing was gone, along with his phone. Even his shoes.
Walking into the living area, I found Lilly and Sam standing in the kitchen.
Sam’s back was to me. He was leaning on the kitchen counter in nothing more than his pants. His arms were folded, and there was a tension to the lines of his back. The rest of his clothing was sitting on a kitchen chair at the dining table.
Lilly was standing just beside him, her back to me and yet not quite at the same time. Her body was more of a three-quarter turn. She was facing away from me and didn’t see me. Her hands were moving as she spoke quietly.
Both seemed concerned, as if they were hashing out their problems while I slept. There was a distance between them, but they seemed to lean toward one another in a conspiratorial fashion.
They weren’t trying to whisper, but they weren't loud either. I could make out some of what was being said, but it didn’t sound like English.
The pair of them were speaking in another language. Despite the tension in both their bodies, there was a familiar comfort between them. They were upset, but not with one another.
Jealousy flared in me.
I knew that it wasn’t about sex, it never would be with Lilly, but the two of them had been an item before.
They had a connection like few other couples I had met. It had been a connection which I had never had with anyone, and there Sam was, having it with my new roommate and my friend of a few months. I wanted to have that with someone. I wanted to be that something to another person, to have them be that thing for me.
Whatever Lilly said, Sam responded with a concerned tone, then looked over his shoulder, toward the door. He glanced at me and almost seemed to sigh.
“Your little spell clearly did not work,” he said to Lilly with a bite to his voice.
Sam pushed off the counter and walked around her as she glared at him. Her response was in that other language and had an edge to it of her own.
I had seen the look on her face on other women before. It was hard to describe the look, but anyone who had witnessed it would recognize it.
It was the look of a woman who had just been accused of doing a bad job but knew for a fact that there had been no flaw in her work. The expression had a bitter edge to it, an annoyed bite that made Sam scoff in response as he walked out of the kitchen area.
He crossed the living area and slipped an arm around my waist.
Behind him, Lilly left the kitchen and went straight for her room, closing the door hard behind her. It was my first night there and she was already upset.
Had it been me?
No, not because of something I had done, but because of what Sam had done.
If the boyfriend did something wrong, then I was at fault for that, I knew that much about relationships. I’d have to apologize to Lilly later for Sam’s behaviour.
/> “Why are you up?” he asked. “It’s the middle of the night, and you probably have school and four jobs to work tomorrow. You need sleep.”
“You weren’t there when I woke,” I said.
“Nightmare?” he asked.
His other arm slipped around me, pulling me closer as he smiled down at me. He bent and pecked the top of my head before he hugged me tightly.
“Why did you get up?” I asked.
Lilly left her room, marching in a determined fashion back to the kitchen. She looked like she had just remembered something and was going to do it come hell or high water.
“Lilly’s got warding all over,” he said, motioning to above my door, then around. “I wanted to know why. She’s warding against demons it seems. It’s also supposed to encourage long, comfortable sleep.”
“I did not have a comfortable sleep, and the mattress is almost empty. I was practically on the floor. And you weren’t there, and I got confused for a bit. I had to get up to clear my mind.”
Lilly appeared at Sam’s side with a tea mug.
“Here, some chamomile to help you sleep. I’ll go turn the fan of the mattress on to refill it. Bloody thing is brand new. It shouldn’t be losing air. You two wait here a moment, then go in. Oh, do you need condoms? I do keep some in the bathroom in case they’re needed.”
“They’ve finally invented a male birth control, I’m on it,” Sam said quickly.
“Safe sex isn’t just about pregnancy prevention,” Lilly said to Sam before she turned to me. “Did you dream of him again?”
“Dream of me?” Sam asked, sounding confused.
“Yes,” I said.
Sam stiffened. His whole body just tensed right up. He seemed to stare over my head for far too long before he looked down at me. There was something behind his look that was dark and dangerous.
“Might I ask the details of this dream?” he murmured.
“I might be willing to share the details,” I said. Then I shrugged and shook my head. “This time around was more like a nightmare. I ended up running away, and you jumped me.”
“Well, the only solution to that is pretty clear,” he said.
Lilly made a sound that was almost like a tsk, then walked into my room. I heard a motor turn on as Sam studied me. We watched each other, neither quite certain what we should do next.
The motor shut off and Lilly walked back out.
“I’ll call the local coven, see if we can’t get to the bottom of this,” she said. “In the meantime, you solve this anyway you can, and don’t leave her to go snooping into my wards again. If you’re nearby, a demon can’t exactly crawl his way in, now can he?”
“What’s that tone for?” Sam asked.
“My apartment has been demon free since ninety-three. This is all your fault. If there’s any pea soup vomit on my walls because of this, I’ll be using your face as a rag to clean it up.”
Sam watched as Lilly marched to her room and closed the door with a louder thump than was necessary. He continued to watch her door for another moment, then sighed loudly and looked at me.
“Don’t worry, she’s not mad at you, just at me,” he grumbled. “You’ll be fine.”
“Upset about demons?” I asked.
“They’re a real problem,” he said before he turned me, pulling me toward my bedroom.
We slipped into my room, and he gave me a gentle push toward the bed. I grumbled and crawled onto it. Sam settled beside me, then looked me over again.
“In this dream of yours, did I force myself onto you?”
“Sort of,” I said. “I wasn’t exactly complaining about the treatment though, which is throwing me off. I’ve never been into that kind of thing.”
He stood again, causing the bed to bounce. He moved around the bed, searching for something obviously. Stopping, he set his hands on his hips and frowned. His teeth gritted, and he turned to the closet.
“Do you sleepwalk?” he asked as he walked to the closet.
“No, why?” I asked in response.
He opened the closet, then quickly closed it again. I watched him make the motion and sat up, wondering what he had seen.
I climbed off the bed and walked to the closet.
He reached out to stop me but pulled his hand back at the last second. I frowned at him, then pulled open the closet.
My stuffed animals, the ones we had bought just that evening, were hanging from the closet rod.
By their necks.
I didn’t know where the belts wrapped around their necks had come from, but they were not fancy enough to be anything I had ever seen Lilly wear. She would have emptied the room for me.
I also slept rather lightly. Besides Sam leaving, I normally slept light enough that the skittering of something across my floor would have woken me.
“What the hell,” I said.
I reached into the closet and pulled down first one, then the other. Turning, I handed the animals to Sam, who held them against his chest. I then pulled the belts from the rod and dropped them in the back corner of the closet. Closing the closet, I took a moment to wonder.
Then I turned to Sam.
“Demons?” I asked.
His grip on the stuffed animals tightened slightly. Sam looked down at them, then back up at me.
“Would you believe I’m an angel of the Lord?” he asked.
“An angel of the Lord?” I demanded.
He gave a little shrug.
“Not certain if you’re crazy, or just cocky,” I said slowly.
Reaching out, I took the smaller stuffed animal from him and went to the air mattress. I climbed back on it and laid on my side as Sam slipped behind me, pressing right against my back. His arm wrapped around me, hugging me close. I could feel that stuffed animal between us, a boundary that separated our two bodies even as he tried to get closer.
“An angel of the Lord?” I asked, lifting my head.
“I am an arc angel,” he said.
“Huh,” I said, lowering my head.
“You aren’t going to ask me to prove it?” he asked.
“No. What’s that make my dream, then?”
“I suspect it is Baal reaching into the real world through your subconscious mind. He seems to be trying to get free of Hell.”
I should have run away screaming. I should have questioned more, maybe asked if he was seeing a therapist or something.
That didn’t seem like the right thing to do.
Lilly believed in magic and spells and demons. Somehow it just made sense that her ex that she was still hung up on also believed in demons. Might even believe that they were a part of that world. Some people had strange beliefs, which didn’t keep them from leading normal lives, running a successful business, or being really, really good in bed.
I viewed it sort of like snoring.
Except, instead of keeping me up by breathing, Sam happened to believe something that he didn’t bring up until I found my stuffed animals hung in the closet.
That sort of thing could escalate, however. He might have done it for attention. I slept more deeply around him, there would have been plenty of time for him to hang the toys and then exit the room.
Though, I still wasn’t certain where he had gotten the belts from.
The thought of that made me stiffen. That stuffed animal was still between us. There was a distance between us. I rolled toward him and we watched one another.
“Did you hang the stuffies in the closet?”
“No, are you crazy? Even a bad manipulator knows that you wait until they’re attached and only do it in response to something you dislike about their behaviour,” he said. “No, I didn’t do that. I thought maybe you sleepwalk and did it. You seemed to say that it was a tense sort of dream.”
“I don’t think I did it.”
“There’s been a great deal of change for you today. The move, the stuffed animals. All kinds of things. When people have such instability in their lives, it’s not uncommon for them to a
ct out, which can include bouts of sleepwalking where there hadn’t been before.”
“Oh, now a demon didn’t do it.”
“He can’t reach into the physical plane without possessing a member of the Heavenly Host. Unless there’s something you haven’t told me, that would be impossible. Oh, he definitely did something and has been messing with you, but not doing things in the real world.”
“Fun.”
“It’d be more fun if I saw fewer flies around,” he grumbled.
“You don’t sound like this is just a demon,” I said. “You sound like this is personal.”
“It is. Anything I own or want, Baal has to take for himself. Or ruin, or light on fire, or try to rape. Baal is a destructive force bent on breaking me. Normally he doesn’t bother those that I’ve set my sights on because there’s no point. That either makes you very special or means that he thinks he can win this time. A foolish notion, given his lack of a physical body.”
I made a little sound at the back of my throat. Sam sighed and watched me.
“Do you want to talk about your dream?”
“Not really. Hey, though. Lilly once told me something about a cup or glass or drink, being the representation of a person.”
“A chalice is, yes, but people all view chalices as different shapes,” Sam said. “What about it?”
“You’re serving a drink in your club now that I dreamed of before you started serving it.”
There was a roll of something through Sam’s body. He seemed to take in a sharp breath, then his eyes closed.
I had been a little surprised, when I had recognized the drink, that he hadn’t asked where I had seen it before. Especially after the bartender had told met hat it was a new drink, one that they hadn’t served yet. It had been created for a special anniversary party that was coming up.
“It was pulsing in time with the music and lit from the inside, but same colour and glass as you serve,” I said quietly.
“Did he drink of your chalice?”
“He did. I didn’t like that. I grabbed it and drank the drink and then threw the glass at him before I bolted.”