Ask Me If I Care

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  “Thanks, Ares,” he said softly. “That meant the world to me.”

  I winked and handed Abilene over her backpack. “Now, before you’re bombarded with kiddos wanting to know what’s going on, I suggest y’all leave.”

  Boston winked at me, causing Hayes to pull me into his chest with his arm around my shoulders.

  “Y’all have a good one,” he said.

  Abilene gave a tiny wave.

  But for once, she didn’t look sad at all.

  She looked well and truly happy.

  All the while, Principal Bailey watched out of his clear office door as the reunion took place. Not one single smile graced his face.

  Chapter 13

  This is not dog hair. It’s canine confetti.

  -T-shirt

  Hayes

  “Where are we going?” I asked for what felt like the thirteenth time.

  Ares sighed. “It’s. A. Surprise.”

  She’d said that each time, but I decided that she was finally getting irritated.

  “But why won’t you tell me?” I asked.

  I was a man that liked to plan—no, needed to plan. I needed to know where I was going, what I was getting myself in to.

  Turning her head, she studied my face, finally realizing that what I was feeling wasn’t normal.

  “I’m going to a dog kennel to look at a dog,” she told me. “It’s about twenty minutes outside of Kilgore. Two sisters own the kennel. One trains the dogs, while the other does something that I haven’t figured out yet. Though, you know both of them, not necessarily well, but by association.”

  I frowned. “Who?”

  “The Dottirs. Actually, they’re Davidsdottirs, but they’re known as the Dottirs for short. Booth and Bourne’s twin love interests. Delanie and Dillan,” she answered.

  Understanding dawned.

  “Booth mentioned once about Delanie owning a kennel,” I admitted. “Though, the dog that they were talking about was a frou-frou dog, so I didn’t really think about their line of work after that. Are you getting a frou-frou dog?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m not getting a frou-frou dog.”

  She went silent after that, and I wasn’t sure if I’d offended her with my comment, or if she was still pissy with me over not having talked to her in so long.

  Probably both.

  “Ares,” I said softly. “I’m… I’m fucked up.”

  She looked at me, not saying a word.

  I kept my eyes on the road.

  “I’m not even going to pretend that I have it all together. Because I don’t,” I continued. “I obviously freak out over fucking fireworks. But that’s not all. I freak out over a lot of shit. Cars parked on the side of the road. When I was captured…let’s just say I’m now overly paranoid, even though I know that each person that I see probably isn’t someone out to take me prisoner and hold me there for months. But my mind can’t separate that out.”

  Still she didn’t say anything.

  “I don’t do crowds well. Sudden movements. The reason we had to sit in the back room the other day for our team dinner was partially because of me. I don’t do well out in the open. There are just too many possibilities,” I continued.

  Ares started to bite the corner of one cuticle.

  “It’s embarrassing as fuck, okay?” I said. “I… you witnessing that was so fucking embarrassing. I’m a broken, discarded man who’s trying to fight his way back but is having trouble integrating back into society. I’m getting there…just not fast.”

  Ares reached her hand across the center console and placed it on my forearm that was resting on top of my water bottle in between us.

  There she left it until she told me where to turn twenty minutes later.

  “Right there,” she said. “That one.”

  I turned, seeing the ‘Dottir Kennels’ sign at the gate.

  “They know we’re coming?” I asked quietly.

  She nodded. “They do.”

  “Good, ‘cause I’d hate to get shot for driving up into someone’s driveway,” I muttered.

  She snorted as I parked my truck, her eyes on the woman who was coming out of the house to see us.

  I couldn’t tell which sister it was, but the moment we were both out and standing in front of her, she said, “Delanie.”

  I chuckled. “Y’all really do look alike.”

  Delanie was Booth’s baby mama.

  That I knew for sure.

  “We do,” Delanie confirmed. “It helped that I cut my hair, though. Now she looks like me, but with longer hair.”

  Ares snickered. “I’d love to cut my hair, but…”

  “Don’t you dare ruin all that beautiful red hair,” Delanie ordered. “I swear, all Asa talks about when he sees you is wanting to watch Ariel after.”

  Ares snickered. “Where is Asa?”

  Delanie’s eyes warmed just a fraction of a bit more. “He’s with Booth and Bourne today. They’re going camping for the weekend.”

  “Oh, that sounds like fun!” Ares said. “We used to go camping a lot when we were younger. Those’re some of my favorite memories. It’s been a while, though. I’m not sure I could hack it now like I did then. I have to say, I’m fairly fond of my nightly showers.”

  Delanie’s eyes sparkled as she gestured for us to follow her inside.

  We did as she continued to speak about Booth, Dillan and her son.

  She suspiciously left out Bourne, but I could practically feel the itch right underneath the surface to mention him.

  “…he’s loving this camping thing. Each time he comes back, it’s like he already has the next outing planned,” Delanie continued.

  I looked around the house, noticing the random dogs laying on various pieces of furniture. There were at least five inside the house.

  In fact, one such dog, which definitely wasn’t a frou-frou dog at all, caught my attention from across the old farmhouse and I stilled.

  His eyes were on me from all the way across the area.

  We were standing by the front door, and he was standing by the back, his eyes locked completely on me.

  I gave him a once-over, seeing the obvious deformities.

  He was missing an ear and an eye and had some obvious scarring near his jaw.

  And despite his fancy outward appearance—he had to be a poodle—he definitely wasn’t one that I would expect to be able to go up to and pet.

  I just hoped that Ares wasn’t expecting to get that one, because he didn’t look like the type to tolerate her.

  Not that Ares would be bad to him, but that she would try to love on him, and this guy really didn’t seem like the cuddling type.

  “And this is Trigger,” Delanie said as she guided us into the living room. “We’re gonna let him come to us, because he really dislikes being boxed in.”

  “Amen,” I muttered. “Me, too, buddy.”

  Ares shot me a swift smile that had my brows raising in question.

  She looked away as Delanie started to speak about Trigger.

  “Trigger’s had a lot of social interaction,” she continued. “In the beginning, Trigger was trained as a personal protection dog. So he has all of the basics down when it comes to that. When the owners realized that he didn’t really have the temperament to do what they were asking of him, they gave him to an ex-cop. The ex-cop trained him with narcotics, getting him to decipher different drug smells. But when he tried to work with him, Trigger was reluctant to perform. The ex-cop then gave him to a friend. Who gave him to another friend. Who then gave him to one other friend. The friend in turn abused him, which brought him to the shelter.”

  My heart immediately went out to the dog.

  Poor thing.

  But it sounded like he was a smart boy.

  Trigger got up off his rump and started forward, only for him to stop four steps in.

  He did this a couple of other times before he came to t
he part of the kitchen that separated it from the living room.

  As we spoke about him, I kept my eyes peripherally on the dog, wondering why I cared so much. Why I wanted the dog to come to me.

  But I couldn’t explain my reasoning, I just felt like it was important.

  “…when we got him, we got him healed up. At least physically. Emotionally, it’s a different story. He’s a good dog. The best, actually. He’s just very standoffish. When we started raising him as a PTSD service dog…” My head whipped around to Ares. Ares who was studiously doing her best to ignore me. “…we thought it would be a good fit for him and that ‘correct’ person. We were going to let him pick… and obviously he has.”

  My anxiety had ratcheted up so many notches that it took me a while to realize that Trigger was now at my side.

  Not looking at me. Hell, not even touching me.

  But there. He was sitting at my side, about six inches away from my leg, and staring at the door as if he expected something bad to come through it at any second.

  “He’s very good at assisting awake. He wakes Asa when he has nightmares,” Delanie continued. “When we go out, he stands in front of Asa and walks circles around him, creating a sort of buffer between people and him. Which is what you look for in a PTSD service dog. Because some men and women that suffer from PTSD actually have anxiety when it comes to being in crowded spaces.”

  A-fucking-men.

  “Then there was one time that Asa was having a tantrum at the supermarket. I mean, knockdown, drag-out tantrum right in the middle of an aisle. Trigger literally took a hold of his shirt and led him straight out of the supermarket. Allowed him to have his tantrum outside.” She shook her head. “Which is kind of what we’re looking for in trained PTSD service dogs. Ones that will lead and help an individual that’s having trouble.” She paused, her eyes coming to me. “We’ve worked with him on other individuals as well. He responds better to males than he does females.”

  I could feel my heart skyrocketing at the thought of this woman I barely knew knowing all the shit that was wrong with me, and the dog, sensing my anxiety, touched his cold, wet nose to my palm.

  That was it. Just one single touch.

  But it was enough.

  That’s when I realized that this dog wasn’t for Ares. Hell, this entire trip wasn’t for Ares. It was for me.

  I’d left her high and dry. I’d fucked her and then hadn’t talked to her in days. Then, I’d just dropped back into her life and insinuated myself in it as if I hadn’t spent all that time hiding.

  And no matter how pissed she was, she’d still spent some time looking into this—my problem—and helped find a solution.

  And, right then and there, I knew that Ares Downy was it for me and that I loved her. With my whole heart and soul.

  It was fast and intense, and I knew that I would never be the same ever again.

  Ares was just it for me. There would be no other person after her. She was my once in a lifetime kind of love. The one where the old man only lives because of his wife, and the moment she passes, he’s just there, existing but no longer living.

  The man who changes his whole entire world as long as his girl is happy.

  And I knew right then and there that I’d tear it apart as long as it made her smile.

  ***

  I knew that she was slightly freaking out as we got to her house later that night.

  Trigger was riding in the back seat, his eye out the open window, but not hanging out like a normal dog would.

  It was weird, and a little bit uplifting because I would think that a dog that had to deal with my shit had to be a bit more serious about life than a normal puppy.

  And, just to break the silence, I looked over at Ares as I pulled into the duplex subdivision I lived in, I spoke the first question on my mind.

  “Do you think that I have to have this dog groomed?”

  She snorted out a small laugh and nodded her head. “Unfortunately, yes. But I made sure that I found the groomer that he’d been going to since he was with the Dottir family. They’re not too far from here, actually. He’s a mobile groomer—which is why it matters. So he won’t freak out on some random dog groomer.”

  I nodded my head as I pulled into my driveway, and when I got out, instead of going to Ares’ side, he came to mine.

  I watched with amusement as he jumped out and sat obediently at my feet. As if he realized that I was the one who needed him more.

  Grinning, I closed the door and looked up just as Ares rounded the hood of the truck.

  But her eyes weren’t on me. They were on the neighborhood as a whole.

  “What’s up?” I asked softly.

  She turned those beautiful eyes to me.

  “I’m thinking that this is a really nice neighborhood,” she murmured. “I like it a lot.”

  My smile was soft as I looked at her.

  “Can I have a hug?” I asked.

  Her face softened. “I never said you couldn’t.”

  Then she walked into my embrace, feeling like everything I ever wanted was there in those two arms.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked into her hair.

  “Are you asking me if I’m hungry for food, or if I’m hungry for your cock? Because both are a yes, but only one of them is more pressing at the moment,” she mentioned.

  There was a moment of stunned silence as I tried to understand the words that had just come out of her mouth.

  And when I finally did, my cock went from ‘soon, buddy’ to ‘right the fuck now.’

  “Ares,” I groaned as I started to walk her into the house backward.

  “But you need to get Trigger settled,” she said as her back hit the closed front door. “And allow him to get familiar with his surroundings.”

  I opened the door with quick hands, throwing it open and letting it bounce off the plastic plate on the wall behind it.

  The dog walked right in, found the first comfortable spot to lay on—which happened to be the couch—and collapsed onto it with a groan.

  “I’m thinking the dog is fine,” I said.

  Then I kissed her.

  I’d barely gotten the door shut before I had her back in my arms.

  Her mouth was on mine as I walked us into the bedroom.

  I groaned as her tongue touched mine, licking hesitantly over mine as if she was afraid to kiss me.

  The entire act was as adorable as it was carnal, and it made my dick harder to know that she was still shy when it came to me.

  Though, we’d only had sex once, and that time had been a hasty thing on the side of the road where the entire goal was to get off fast. Not spend time learning each other’s bodies.

  Her hands framed my face, and I pulled back so I could see her.

  “I never intended to do this today,” I said. “I wanted to make you realize that I was with you for more than this.”

  She rolled her eyes and let my face go, trusting me to hold her up as she slowly took her t-shirt and bra off.

  She was still in her school clothes, so it took her a while to unbutton the shirt that had no less than a million tiny buttons.

  The moment that her breasts were freed, though, I spaced out for a couple of seconds as I stared at her.

  “I want nothing more than to lick and suck on these all day long.”

  She snickered as she wiggled.

  Getting what she wanted, I put her down on her feet and watched as the next thing to go was her tight ass pants.

  She tossed them unceremoniously to the floor and then stood there in her panties and nothing else as she looked at me expectantly.

  I slowly started to strip out of my clothes, starting with my boots and socks, followed shortly by my shirt.

  When I stood there in only jeans, I gestured for her to come closer.

  She smiled and reached for my belt, doing the rest herself.

  Her hands were shaking, whether in ne
rves or because she was excited, I didn’t know.

  But I didn’t stop her to ask.

  She took my belt off, completely removing it from my belt loops before tossing it to the floor next to her own clothes.

  The next thing to go was the button.

  “These are tight,” she murmured as she finally got the button loose.

  “They’re an older pair. I’ve gained a bit of muscle mass back since I’ve been home. All my old stuff doesn’t fit anymore,” I admitted. “I had them in my truck. Changed into them at the station after our SWAT weekly meeting.”

  Her eyes flicked up to mine.

  “What do you do at those?” she wondered, slowly rolling down the zipper.

  The sound of the zipper moving over the teeth was incredibly loud in the silent bedroom, making my belly tighten.

  Anticipation was coursing through my veins at the speed of light, making my movements feel jerky and my hands clench on air.

  When the zipper met the bottom, she slowly started to work my pants over my hips.

  “I…” I swallowed to clear my throat. “It’s a mandatory weekly meeting. We go every week. Talk about who needs to do what training hour-wise. Because that shit is monitored by the state.” She got my pants down over my erection, giving me a feeling of relief from the downward angle it was awkwardly pinned at.

  “Seems boring,” she admitted. “Like you could’ve done a thousand other things, and they could’ve sent that to you in an email.”

  I chuckled and stepped out of my pants, agreeing with her wholeheartedly. But, sadly, the weekly meetings were mandatory and they were something that we had to do in accordance with state laws.

  She didn’t help me out of my underwear, though.

  Instead, she backed up while hooking her thumbs into her own underwear, and walking backward until her knees hit the bed.

  When she was as far as she could go, she stripped the underwear off, pushing them down her legs, then sat back onto the bed and curled her pointed finger at me.

  “Come here,” she whispered.

  My dick jumped in my underwear, knowing without a doubt that she was about to put my cock into her mouth.

  I grabbed my jeans up and pulled my wallet out, stripping the condom from inside before tossing it back down on the floor.