by Anna Hill
I noticed immediately that things looked a bit different than when I had come here last… The rug was no longer centered, and the couches had been moved—one of them was no longer up against the wall, and the other sat diagonally.
Which was weird because even though Resa didn’t exactly have a nice house (who did in this level of poverty?), I had gotten the impression that she kept her place tidy. Though her furniture was old, the house was neat and clean.
“Resa?” I called out. “It’s me, Annabelle.”
There was no answer.
“Maybe she’s asleep?” Lio volunteered.
But my intuition was going off. Something felt very, very wrong here.
“Wait here… I’ll go look for her,” I said, my heartbeat quickening in my chest.
“Resa?” I called as I walked down the hall. Again, no answer.
It was a small house, with only a few bedrooms. I opened the first door nervously, afraid I might walk into something horrific, but it was empty. Well, not empty, but it didn’t have Resa in it. It had more of her old-style furniture. A bed with this white silk canopy surrounding it. A small, floral chair in the corner of the room.
I shut the door quietly and continued down the hall, the old wood whistling at me with each step I took. “Resa?’ I asked again.
I opened the next door, even more anxious now because if she had been asleep, she would have surely heard me now that I was so close to the bedrooms and she’d have gotten up.
The next door I opened led to a bathroom with a claw foot tub and black and white checkered tiles. It was a large bathroom—it even had a second little door next to the porcelain white tub that likely led to the toilet.
I stepped into the bathroom to get to that door, feeling the nausea in my gut continue to rise with each step that I took. When my hand reached the doorknob, I paused this time. I knew… I just knew.
I was walking into something horrible.
When I ripped back the white door, there Resa was.
Lying in a bloody heap on the tile floor.
The nausea rose up from my stomach, and I felt my throat begin to burn. I jerked my body toward the sink and wretched into it.
I could feel the room spinning. This was all too familiar. The last time I’d seen a body in a pool of blood, it belonged to each of my parents.
I burst out into loud, unending sobs as Rhyion and Lio bounded down the hall, coming for my crying.
"What happened?” Lio asked, when he reached the bathroom.
“She’s dead,” I sobbed out loud. “Resa’s dead.”
"What?" Rhyion gasped.
“Robert must have… he must have gotten to her,” I said through tears. “He must have figured out that I visited somehow. Figured out she was helping me and killed her for it.”
Yet another death on my hands.
Lio pulled me into his arms, and I sobbed into his chest.
Did Robert do it like this on purpose? Did he kill her and leave her body in the exact same way my parents had been left, knowing that it was going to wreck me?
I normally felt so strong, so powerful, so in control of everything… And Robert had a way of coming into my world and somehow making me feel weak. Thanks to him, I was the same sobbing mess I was when I’d found my parents. I even felt faint like I did that day…
“This is my fault,” I cried. “He killed her because of me. I promised her that she was going to have a better life because she helped me… Now she’s dead.”
Lio ran his hands through my hair, and Rhyion came behind me and rubbed my back.
"This is not on you, Annabelle. This is on Robert. Don’t let him burden you. This is exactly what he wants,” Rhyion told me.
And I knew he was right. This was what Robert wanted. But still, I couldn’t help it. Because the deaths were weighing on me. I was just adding to my list.
And it might not just be Resa. Angelo might be another death that I would feel at fault for, and now I wouldn’t even be able to know. He could be dead too. And that was one death that I’d never be able to get over. Even if I saved everyone in Elderan…
This will all still weigh on me.
"I was going to help her…” I said as I wiped the tears off my cheeks.
“I am positive that she did not help you because you said you’d help her in return, Annabelle. She did it because you are the rightful queen and you are going to help everybody. I’m so sorry this is happening to you again, but you cannot take it upon yourself. You can’t control what Robert does.”
“No, but I could have taken her with me. I should have taken her with me! What was I thinking? I had no idea what Robert was capable of discovering, and yet I didn’t do anything to offer her protection. I did fail her. I’m not the leader that I pretend to be.”
“You are learning, Annabelle,” Lio said softly, as more tears began to roll down my face. “Do you understand that? A year ago, you were an orphaned girl who had no responsibility outside of being a waitress. Most witches who ended up queen were primed for leadership since they were toddlers. You didn’t even know you were a witch! You got none of that training! And even those queens entered into a peaceful reign with a country that was not in pieces. You are doing your absolute best. You will not be perfect. You have to give yourself room to not be perfect."
Rhyion turned his head to Lio. "She's right about one thing, though: we don’t know what Robert is capable of. He might know we’re here right now. So we have to go."
“Right," Lio agreed. “Should we search the house for any black magic she may have used?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll go do that now. You try and get her to calm down so she can take us home. I'll be just a few minutes." Rhyion left the room, and in seconds I could hear him opening, closing, and moving things around.
It felt wrong… tearing Resa’s house apart while she lay dead on the floor.
But I knew why Rhyion was doing it. We needed any magic we could get our hands on. I had to be practical about this…
Even if my heart was shattered.
I took several deep breaths. Rhyion was also right, I needed to stop the tears to focus on bringing us back home. I just needed to achieve a few minutes of calm to do that.
I had to put Resa out of my head.
But I was finding that impossible. She was lying only a few feet away from me, her death on my hands. And I was just going to leave her body on the floor here, as if she meant nothing.
There was a time where bodies were not just found lying in people’s houses. They were hidden or buried, even by those few people who committed murder. They would usually do anything to hide their crime. They knew if they didn’t, they’d be more easily discovered, and murder was always punishable by death.
Now, Robert left bodies in their homes because he knew he was above the law. He knew he could kill my parents and never be discovered. He could harm anyone he wanted. He would never be thrown in jail, never prosecuted with death. He was invincible.
The operative word being was.
My despair quickly turned to hot anger as I thought about the way he disrespected Resa’s body.
But I wouldn’t do that.
Rhyion returned quickly. “I see nothing. I’m sure that Robert’s minions did a very thorough sweep and got everything, knowing we’d be back here.”
“Okay, then let’s go,” Lio said quickly.
“Wait,” I said as I pulled away from him.
He pulled my arms back. “Annabelle, there’s no time. We can’t wait.”
I jerked away from him. “There’s time! There’s time to give Resa what she deserves! No, not what she deserves… what she deserves is to be alive. But I want to do the only thing I can do in her death, and that’s take care of her body!”
I remembered the old quilt I’d seen on her couch, and I quickly transmuted it into my hands.
I walked farther into the bathroom where she laid, and though she was hard to look at, with a flick of my hand, I lifted her off
the ground. With another flick, I moved the blanket toward her, wrapping it around her body in mid-air, effortlessly.
“Rhyion, grab her,” I instructed. She was completely wrapped in the blanket, even her face was not visible.
As he went to grab the hovering body, we heard a crack at the door. And then a voice.
“They’re in the bathroom! Go!”
We’d been found.
Lio’s eyes widened. I quickly motioned for him to come to me, and he ran reaching for my hand. I grabbed his and Rhyion’s. He had Resa’s body tucked under one arm, and his other hand was in mine.
Just as I heard footsteps bounding down the hall, I transported us back to the island, right outside the house.
We were all breathing heavily after landing. Rhyion gently put Resa’s body down on the dirt floor as he caught his breath.
“Evidently, Robert is much better at tracking us,” I said. “The first time Angelo and I were at Resa’s house, we were there for a while and nobody showed up.”
Rhyion shook his head. “No, I doubt he could possibly get there that quickly by tracking you. Much more likely, he had used a spell that would watch the house particularly, knowing we’d come back to it. He probably had men stationed nearby, ready to arrive at a moment’s notice.”
“Right… makes sense,” Lio commented.
I was still skeptical. “Why don’t you think he could get there that fast by tracking us?”
“Because teleporting blurs the lines of time and location quite a bit. It would be a good hour before any tracking spell I know of would locate you. When you teleport, you’re moving across space and time in a very weird way. Any tracking spell clocks you at many locations until you stay at your destination for a while.”
“Alright,” I said in a monotone voice.
Lio put his hand on my back. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I said bluntly. “Of course I’m not okay. I’ve yet again caused the loss of life for another person, and I’m no closer to finding Angelo. Nothing about this day has been alright, not even remotely.”
Lio tried to pull me closer, but I stepped back.
“Just… not now, please.”
He frowned. “Annabelle, please don't start pushing us away again. It took so long for you to let us in.”
I sighed. “Some things, Lio, there are just no comfort for… okay? I’m reliving my parents’ death all over again. Though last time, I just ended up in a hospital without the people who I loved most in this world. This time, I still don’t have them, but I also don’t have one of my soulmates, and I’m stuck with the responsibility of saving the damn world.”
Lio and Rhyion both remained silent. There was really nothing you could say to that because I was right. How could they comfort me? I was reliving the worst moment of my life, but with a lot more stress happening in my world.
“Do guys have a shovel?” I asked bluntly.
They looked at each other in confusion. “Why would you need one?” Rhyion asked.
“To bury Resa,” I said, again, in a blunt and monotone voice.
“But… you could create a hole yourself.”
I shook my head. “No. I don't want to use magic to do this. I want to use my own sweat and tears. She deserves that. She deserves a proper, traditional burial.”
Lio nodded solemnly. “I’ll go get you one.”
Rhyion carried the body out into the forest for me until I found an area of brush that wasn’t blocked by trees or bushes. Lio brought me a shovel, and I immediately got to work.
Lio brought extra shovels for Rhyion and him, but I turned them away, told them to go back to the house and said I had to this myself. I didn’t want help. I had caused this death, and I was the only one who should atone for it.
No, not the only one…
There was still Robert.
It took hours. I’d never done a lot of manual labor, but especially not since I’d become a witch. I spent most of my time using magic and making my life easier, not doing extra work.
By the time the hole was deep enough, I was covered in sweat and dirt. I could feel every part of my arms were slick with moisture.
I did use magic to place her in the hole because if I didn’t, I’d have to roughly throw her body into it, and that didn’t feel respectful either. So I floated her inside gently, and then took a moment before I began to cover her back up with the dirt.
“Resa, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I’m so sorry I did not foresee that Robert would be after you. I know that I failed you. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I wanted nothing more than to make your life easy when I was on the throne… I’m so sorry I won’t be able to do that. Thank you for your help, thank you for the information you gave me. I promise, it will not be in vain.”
I wished I could say more… She deserved a real funeral. With people saying how good of a person she was, and sharing details about how she lived her life.
But I didn’t know any of that. I wasn’t at liberty to say. I only knew what she did for me…
And what she did for me will likely save the whole country.
One thing I’d make sure of was that the world would know her name. That the history books would know her name.
I took a deep breath and then began shoveling dirt back into the hole. This part did not take nearly as long, but I was still exhausted by the end of it.
I slammed my shovel and my feet down after the hole was entirely covered. I flattened the dirt, making sure it was completely unnoticeable in its surroundings.
I found a large, smooth rock and put it over where her body lay. Using my finger, I very carefully entered her name onto the rock with fire. It etched “Resa” into the stone, and I wiped away the excess ash.
One day, when I knew her full name or more about her, I’d get her a real headstone.
I went for a quick bath in the lake after, drenching my hair and my body into the cold water, rubbing the dirt off of me.
It felt like I was washing away more than the physical dirt, though. Because even after the dirt disappeared, I still had the urge to rub at my skin, making myself red with the agitation. I felt like I needed to rub away the trauma of the day, the overwhelming feeling of sin that plagued my body.
There was so much I wanted to clean besides dirt.
But I couldn’t. There was no way to wash away trauma, hard as I may try.
I left my dirty clothes on the ground next to the lake and teleported my naked body home, landing in Angelo’s bedroom with a very large thump. I threw on one of his large t-shirts and climbed into the empty bed.
Lio and Rhyion heard me and came into the room.
“Annabelle, we need to talk,” Rhyion began.
I sighed. “Can’t it wait?”
“No, it can’t. I’m sorry. It’s a quick question, though,” Rhyion continued as Lio hovered behind him.
“Go ahead, then.”
“Earlier today, you said you weren’t going to go to Jacob unless we found Angelo. Obviously we couldn’t find him, so... do you plan to confront Jacob on the fifteenth still? It’s only a week away, so we need to know and to prepare.”
I looked at them both seriously. “Yes. Whether Angelo comes back or not, we are going to meet Jacob. If we don’t, Resa will have died for nothing. If we don’t, Robert may get away with everything, as Jacob will continue to protect him. I won’t allow that to happen.”
It would be a lot harder to fight without Angelo by my side, but I absolutely had to do it.
I would destroy Jacob.
And then I’d annihilate Robert.
9
I stood outside on the porch of our cabin. I wore a black tank top and my long, patterned black and yellow maxi skirt was lifting in the breeze.
I tried to take in that breeze, tried to allow it to bring me calm. But nothing truly could. All the energy I used to get from the earth around me didn’t seem to have as great effect on me now that Angelo was gone.
It was hard to
believe there was ever a time where I actually doubted that he, Rhyion, and Lio were fated to me. I didn’t believe in fate. It didn’t sound real to me.
I didn’t doubt it now. He was part of my destiny. I knew that because being without him was like being without a piece of my soul. I was so damn overwhelmed with every moment that he was gone.
But what did that mean… destiny? I was thinking about that a lot lately.
I had been assuming that when the boys told me they were my destiny and I was theirs, that meant there would be a happily ever after. Destiny is always romanticized, after all. But it’s not necessarily a romantic thing, isn’t it?
It doesn’t have to mean happily ever after. Your destiny is your fate and your fate might not be sweet, might not be happy. It could be full of trauma and terror. Some people die unhappy, that is their fate.
So to think Angelo was my destiny… it did not comfort me. It made me think maybe his destiny was saving me. Maybe his destiny was making me fall in love with him… and then only getting a short taste of him before he left me forever.
It was depressing, but frankly, I’d been depressed since Resa’s death. And each day only got harder.
Today was the day we’d be leaving to see Jacob, but I didn’t train this week. I couldn’t be bothered. It sounded like so much work… And I felt incapable of doing anything.
It was a burden just to go to him now.
Still, I was positive that I could do it regardless. I was lightyears stronger than Jacob, and in all the time I spent captured, I never saw Jacob use magic. I had a feeling Robert kept pretty much all the magic to himself. He seemed greedy like that… only allowing Jacob to use it for necessary things… like transporting himself to me and capturing me.
Robert would probably be far greedier now that his stores of magic were limited. And if Resa was right, Robert wouldn’t be here. Just me and Jacob.
The only relief I got was in the thought of getting to end him.
I could feel my long, brown hair start to move as the breeze got harder. It whipped against my face, and I tucked it behind my ear as I waited for the boys to come outside.
They’d been walking on eggshells around me, and I couldn’t blame them. I knew I seemed like a completely different person… I felt like a completely different person.