“Yep, okay,” Caleb was saying. “Bye.” And immediately the phone rang again. “Hello? Hi, Aubrey. No, we haven’t heard. Lauren and I are here— Wait a minute. It’s call waiting. Hello? Hi, Rebecca, I’ve got Aubrey on the other line—”
The movie must have gotten out, she thought, or everyone remembered to turn back on their phones. The security system chimed a notice that the garage door was opening and sure enough, there was Danielle, closing and locking the door behind her.
“Hi,” Danielle whispered, so her voice wouldn’t carry down the hallway. “The kids are in bed?”
“Fast asleep. How’s your husband?”
Danielle’s face crumpled. Tears filled her eyes. “He’s fine. They think it was only a reaction from a new medicine. No internal bleeding. No stroke. No blood clot. No crisis. He’s stable and he’s still coming home in a week.”
Lauren thought of that kind man and how he’d looked in the wedding picture, proud and glad to be married to Danielle. “You must be so relieved.”
“Yes. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him. He’s my everything.”
She’d never understood what that meant, but she could see it in Danielle’s eyes, how she placed her hand over her heart as if she couldn’t hold in all her love for her husband. Lauren blinked away tears, too. “I’ve heard how you’ve stayed at Jonas’s side through all of this.”
“How could I leave him? He should have died from his wounds—every doctor who’s seen him has said so—but he held on to life and I know why. For our life together, for our kids. How could I leave him to face the pain and fear he must be going through alone?”
Now, that’s love. Lauren’s throat ached and she could only nod in understanding.
Danielle swiped at her eyes. “Look at me, falling apart now that the crisis is over. Well, thank you for coming. All’s well, so if you want to head home—”
“Not until I make sure you’re all right.” There was no way that Danielle looked all right. She had bruised shadows beneath her eyes as if she hadn’t slept a night through in a long, long time. She seemed suspended by her bones, by her hope and faith. She was a lovely woman, with a loving heart. She needed a little TLC. Lauren offered the only thing she could. “I can get you a cup of hot tea. Maybe something to eat? I’m a fair cook.”
“No, you don’t have to—”
“I want to. Why don’t you go check on the kids and I’ll have your tea ready when you get back. What’s your favorite comfort food?”
“Grilled cheese.”
“You got it.”
When Lauren entered the kitchen, Caleb was still on the phone, with Dorrie this time. He rolled his eyes as he assured Lauren’s stepmother that all was well and that Danielle was home.
“Jonas is fine,” Lauren said, so Caleb could relay the message. She found a small frying pan in one of the lower cabinets and then went in search of butter, cheese and bread. By the time she had the sandwich made and heating on the stove, the lock was turning in the front door. There was Spence, standing in the entryway, studying her with a hard frown.
“Would you like a sandwich, too?” she asked.
“No.” His frown softened the smallest amount. He closed the door and pocketed his ring of keys. “Dani’s okay?”
“She said Jonas is fine now.”
Relief carved into his hard face and the intensity of it was surprising, given his gruff exterior. Maybe she could understand why. She remembered the teenage boy in the photograph on the carriage house’s wall. Their mother had probably treated him the way she’d treated her. After awhile it was safer, it hurt less, to put up shields to keep everyone away.
I don’t want to live that way any longer. She wanted a full life, to live with her heart in a way that mattered.
The night was dark and a half moon hung low in a cloudy sky when the truck turned the final corner in Gran’s driveway. The main house and the shadowed carriage house came into view.
In the passenger seat, Lauren struggled with the regret that not only was the date over, but so was her time here in Montana. She was leaving tomorrow afternoon. She hadn’t let herself think of it, but the truth loomed like the bleak sky overhead. She wasn’t sure what to say as Caleb pulled to a stop at the far side of the garage. As soon as she opened the truck door, silence stretched like a reverent hush. She would miss this quiet. This land. The people here. And, especially, Caleb.
Would he miss her the same way? She unbuckled the belt, and by the time she was free, he was at her side to help her from the seat. It was a long step to make in a dress, and she liked his courtesy. She liked—loved—everything about him.
“A pretty unusual first date.” He closed the door quietly. “But it was nice, all in all.”
“I agree. I’m glad Spence came by. I didn’t feel right just leaving Danielle alone until Dorrie got there.”
“She’s been through a tough time. It’s heartening to see that, sometimes, things turn out all right in the end. Jonas will be coming home soon. That’s a happy ending.”
“I’m glad for them.” Everyone, Dad and Dorrie included, had called. Dorrie was coming to spend the night, just in case there were any further—although unexpected—emergencies.
Lauren matched Caleb’s slow pace along the back of the garage, thinking of family. Thinking that she’d like a happy ending of her own. How was that going to happen? She had her internship to return to—it was too great of an opportunity to give up. She had classes starting and an entire life in another state. What she needed was to know how Caleb felt. What he really wanted.
They’d reached the gate and in the companionable silence, Caleb opened it for her. The horses in the field didn’t bother to come close. Tasha and Leo nickered a low-toned greeting and went back to their drowsing. Malia stopped trying to pick at the new gate latch and appeared completely innocent of any wrongdoing.
Caleb chuckled softly. “That mare. She does that just to get my dander up.”
“She’s just sweet on you.” Lauren was not only talking about the mare.
“Maybe I’m a little smitten with her, too.”
The way he said it was casual but Lauren’s heart stalled. Every bit of her soul wanted to believe he was talking about his feelings for her, but that would be getting ahead of herself. How did she hold back her dreams? She hesitated on the front steps of the romantic little house and, surrounded by the innocent scent of roses and sweet Montana winds she could imagine a happy future with Caleb in it. The kind of marriage Gran talked about. Did he see that future, too?
He broke the silence between them, leaning closer, an enigmatic grin on his lips. “Well, I guess this is it.”
“I guess so.” She found herself leaning toward him just a little.
“Tomorrow’s your last day here.”
“Part of a day,” she corrected. “I leave by afternoon. I have a long way to drive if I want to be home Sunday evening, to get ready for my week.”
It was hard to tell what he thought of that. “You must be eager to get back.”
“Not so much. I didn’t expect to find so many reasons to stay.”
He didn’t answer. He towered over her, crowned by the infinite blackness of the sky. She felt small and vulnerable. She didn’t know why he wasn’t saying anything. Her hands started to tremble. A single wish filled her heart, the wish for one sweet kiss from him. It would be her first. She waited breathlessly, holding back every other dream and wish. Did he feel this way, too?
“I guess this is good-night.” He didn’t move away.
Maybe he did feel this, too. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, long enough to gather her courage. She did her best to open her heart and let down every shield. There was no more distance, no more fear, just her revealed, vulnerable heart.
Kiss me, Caleb. Please, she wished. Just one kiss, so I know you feel this way, too.
He didn’t come closer, but he didn’t move away. His throat worked, as if he was debating what to do or what to say. “How about you and I meet up tomorrow before you leave? I’ll saddle up the horses and we’ll go on a little run.”
He took a step back, breaking her hopes.
And her heart. Riding? He was speaking about riding horses. Her mind stayed stuck in neutral and spun. She cleared her throat. Not a single word slid into her mind. All she could feel was heartbreak sinking to her toes. “Sure. Wait. I don’t know. Tomorrow might be kind of busy. I still haven’t packed.”
“Right. Okay. Sure.” He took another step back, shrugging those wide, dependable shoulders of his as if not seeing her again was no biggie. Not at all. “We’ll just take it as it comes, okay? I at least want to make sure I see you one more time. T-to say goodbye.”
Goodbye, huh? Disappointment left her gasping, but something worse. Something more painful and devastating than she’d ever felt before. Her love for him didn’t fade, sadly, as she watched him take another step away.
So, he wasn’t in love with her. She blinked hard and lifted a trembling hand in an attempt at a wave.
He didn’t look back. The garden gate clicked shut. He became a distinct shadow in the dark and then merged with it. She could not make him out in the thick inky blackness.
I can’t believe this. She put her hand to her face. Shock left her numb and she stood there as the hot wind puffed over her, rattling the rose canes.
An electronic tune rang from inside the little purse, and she nearly dropped it. She pulled out Aubrey’s phone with wooden fingers. “Hello?”
“Hi there,” came a cheerful voice. “It’s Aubrey. I wanted to know how the date turned out.”
Lauren pressed her hand to her face. What was she going to say? It was great, but he didn’t kiss me?
“—I had a few things to clean up in my studio and since it was late I decided to stay over in my room in Gran’s house. I can see Caleb’s truck pulling away from my window. That’s how I know you’re home. So, how was it?”
Lauren looked at her feet. Surely that was where her heart was, puddled there on the floor. “It was nice. The dinner was great. Caleb was very much a gentleman. He’s a good friend.”
Friend. Just friends, after all.
“He’s a great guy, but you didn’t have the entire evening alone together. While we love you more for running to Danielle’s aid, it wasn’t fair. You two need a do-over date.”
Pain rippled through her. Poor Aubrey had no idea what she was saying or the hurt she was causing. Lauren cleared her throat, hoping her heartache wouldn’t show. “There’s no time. Tomorrow’s my last day here.”
“Yeah, we don’t want to think about that.”
There was a beep. Was that another call coming in? Before she could say anything, Aubrey cut in. “I bet that’s Rebecca or Ava. Before I hang up, do you like chocolate ripple or mint chocolate chip?”
“You mean I have to pick?”
“Both, then. Great.” The line clicked, and then the second call rang in. “Hi, it’s Rebecca. I just met Caleb’s truck in the driveway, heading home. The date’s over?”
“It is. Thank you for the help. I managed to make it home with shoes unscathed. In fact, I’m going to take them off right now.”
“No worries. I’ll be there in a few moments. Don’t let Ava start eating without me.”
There was a click and Lauren didn’t get the chance to react. She’d be here in a few moments? What did that mean?
She had time to open the door and flip on the lights before Aubrey showed up, with Ava in tow, carrying two huge containers of ice cream and a big grocery bag. The twins were nearly dressed identically in pink printed pajamas and fuzzy open-toed slippers.
“I’ll get the bowls.” Ava made herself at home in the kitchen. “It’s pajama party time.”
Aubrey set a carton of strawberry milk on the counter and went in search of enough glasses. “Lauren, do you want to change before we start?”
“It’s tradition.” Ava tried to wrestle open the lid of the ice cream container and ripped it. “We did this for all our dates when we were teenagers. You’ve missed out, so we wanted to give you the total family experience.”
How could something go so wrong and be terribly right all in the same evening?
Thank you for this wonderful family, her heart seemed to whisper.
“Rebecca’s here. Quick! Go change,” Ava urged.
“But don’t change too much,” Aubrey added sweetly. “We like you just the way you are.”
How fun was this? Lauren tucked her hurt away, set her chin and crossed the room. Luckily, she had a perfect set of purple pj’s that would fit right in with the sisterly spirit. She went into the bedroom to find them.
Chapter Fifteen
Memories. They were all around her. Lauren straightened from the carriage house’s kitchen floor with the dustpan in hand. Why, on this last day here, when she was hours away from leaving, did she remember? She could see before they left in the family’s sedan, feel the day’s heat and grit in the air as she played in her sandbox in the backyard. Mom was yelling in that high, nervous voice, angry at Spence, something about how he was always wrong.
Lauren only remembered staring hard at the sand fisted in her hand and feeling like she had that sand inside her, so she couldn’t breathe. Everyone was crying, one of her sisters, it had to be one of the twins, had knelt down beside her and rubbed comforting circles against her back while Mom was yelling. She wasn’t happy, she was meant for better things.
Like always, Lauren thought as she emptied the dustpan into the garbage can. She could remember being so afraid by Mom’s yelling and being yanked out of the sandbox by one arm. The girls were crying “No, Mom, no,” and Mom was saying she’d had enough, that she was wasting her life.
I don’t want to remember this. Grimly, she tied up the garbage bag neatly and lifted it from the can. She carried it to the front door, set it on the porch to take to the garbage on her next trip to the house. She let the sweet, rose-scented breeze wash over her. Maybe it could wash away some of the agony.
It wasn’t only her childhood that hurt, but the present, too. She was heading for California. She was leaving behind the people she loved more than anything. At one time they had been her security, her comfort, her happiness and everything she’d ever known. As the leaves of the trees rustled and Tasha lifted her head from grazing to call out a nicker in her direction, Lauren was tugged back one more time. Being grabbed roughly around the middle, as Mom tended to do when she was upset, and shoved into the backseat. The door slammed; Mom was good at being unkind when she was in a mood. Lauren saw the suitcase on the seat beside her and started to shake. Outside in the yard the girls were crying. Spence had tried to stop Mom from leaving.
This is how I felt, Lauren realized. This was why she could never look back. In a few moments, her family would be here to send her off. She would have to say goodbye to them. She would have to watch them grow smaller in her rearview mirror until they were gone from her sight.
It’s not the same as last time, she told herself rationally as she eased onto the top step. I’ll see them again. We can talk on the phone. I’m coming back for birthdays and holidays. Dad and Dorrie will be visiting in a few weeks. So why was she feeling this way? It wasn’t logical. It didn’t make any sense.
Caleb was the reason why. The last time she’d felt this way, she’d been that small child, leaving love behind. That’s what was the same. Love. Didn’t that prove she cared for Caleb more than she thought? How could this be a passing thing, if her love for him was that strong?
She’d found the one man she felt she could t
ruly trust. Her respect and opinion of him was sky-high. He was her true love, but she was not his. Why was a foolish part of her wishing that maybe one day, she could be? That maybe this could still work out, even with all the reasons why it couldn’t?
She shook her head. There she was, getting ahead of herself again. Didn’t she have things to do? She grabbed the borrowed laundry basket from the couch and spotted the gray cowboy hat Caleb had lent her. It sat in a fall of sunlight through the window, like a sign.
But a sign saying what?
That this doesn’t have to be over, she realized as she swept the Stetson off the couch. Maybe all she and Caleb needed was more time together. Maybe there was still hope. The way he’d looked at her, the way he’d seemed to want to kiss her last night.
There was a spring in her step when she snatched the garbage bag on the porch. She padded through the garden, feeling hope lift her up. Images of Caleb filled her mind, of the first time she saw him on the porch. Of him calming the runaway horses like a Western legend. Of how he’d looked at her on their date—with respect and, she hoped, with affection, with love.
She rounded the back side of the house, where the detached triple garage sat in the shade of the house and trees. She set the laundry basket, with Caleb’s Stetson inside it, on the back steps. She heard low voices, their words carrying on the breeze.
“I put you in a bad spot, Caleb—”
She recognized Spence’s voice, and while she shouldn’t be listening in, she couldn’t seem to make her feet turn her around. Caleb was here? Had he come to see her? Had he been thinking about these things, too?
Turn around, Lauren, she said to herself, or at least say something. A horrible sense of foreboding burrowed into her stomach. She opened her mouth to call out, but Caleb was already answering Spence. It was too late.
Sweet Home Montana (The McKaslin Clan) Page 16