by Shyla Colt
“Y-yes.” She wanted to.
“Good.” He covered her mouth with his own. The mixture of her flavor combined with his was a delicacy she longed to taste again. “I hate this.” He growled. “I just found you, and I have to leave. The past six months have been a living hell. Then you come in like a brilliant ray of sunshine and dazzle me and shit.”
She snorted. “Dazzle you and shit?”
“Hey, those lines Dex delivers are written. I’m operating on the fly.”
Despite the fucked up situation, she smiled. He was adorable, and charming. Bastard. The upheaval he brought threw her off balance. Challenged the way she’d been living. Relationships had never been a blip on her radar, too much risk, and to be honest, she was selfish. Her goals and dreams were all she had to consider when she was flying solo. Walk away. The devil on her shoulder urged her to run for the hills before she got in any deeper. I’ve never been a coward. Jett offered a new puzzle to solve. A different path she’d never thought to travel. If she craved anything it was knowledge. Might as well admit I’m locked into the ride … for now.
“It was pretty in a very honest and slightly dorky way.”
“I had to pick a writer!” He mumbled as he stepped back. The playful expression on his face made her giggle. She could see Dex peeking out, but after almost ten seasons of playing him there had to be a bit of meeting in the middle. He walked over to the bed, picked up his duffle bag, and slipped it over his head. Clearing his throat he came to a halt a few feet away.
“So I know this is ass backward, but can I get your number?”
Her laughter rang out like a chime. The somberness was lifted.
“Yeah, tell me your number, and I’ll call you.” She slid her small purse down her shoulder, opened it, and pulled out her purse. They exchanged numbers.
“I’m going to go.” She nodded toward the door behind her.
“Can I walk you out?”
“I’d rather not be mobbed by fan girls.”
“Yeah, there is that.” He sighed. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“I prefer ‘see you laters’ myself.”
“Then I’ll see you later.”
Say something clever, and witty. You write!
“I guess so.” She grabbed the handle behind her and pulled down the lever. “I’m going to go before this becomes drawn out.”
“Yeah.” He nodded.
Pushing the door open she stepped out and closed the door behind her. The wistful expression he wore lingered in her mind.
Chapter Three
When he reached the hospital Jett’s eyes were red and itchy. His body and his heart felt heavy. They’d called an end to things to prevent this. Bile rose in the back of his throat as he tried to mentally prepare himself for what she’d look like. Hovering in front of the elevator doors on her floor his feet were glued to the floor as fear paralyzed him. An image of an emaciated zombie-like waif creature flashed in his head. Can I pretend to be unaffected by that? Should I? No. This ain’t the time to play nice or sugar-coat. I need to go in there kick her boney ass, and get to the bottom of what made her shut down. Why do this now?
Ready for war he started toward her room, steps sure, and his face set in stern expression. I didn’t let her go just to watch her wither away. He rounded the corner, purpose in every step he took. When he reached room 489 he knocked.
“Come in.” The familiar voice of the man would’ve been his-father-in-law called out. The hushed tone radiated worry. He turned the knob, pushed the door open a sliver, and poked his head in.
“Jett.” The stark expression of relief that passed over the white-haired man’s face broke his heart.
“Hey, Greg.” He looked at the tiny lump in the bed and sighed. Even with the blanket over her body he could see the damage she’d done. Her limbs were stick thin underneath the light blue blanket covering her body. “How is she?”
Greg shook his head. “Not good.”
“What happened?”
“She was doing fine the first four months or so, but then she started to struggle, and things went downhill.” He sighed. “Pam will be up soon. I sent her to get some lunch and take a breather.”
Jett nodded. “What triggered it?”
“I have no clue. Pam doesn’t either. We tried to get her to open up and talk. When that didn’t work we tried to get her to go to a therapist here.”
“She wouldn’t do it? What about Dr. Talons?”
“Shut her out, too.”
“Jesus.” Jett covered his mouth his hand. “How did she end up here?”
“We didn’t realize how dire the situation was. You know how good Lis is at hiding it. We went out for dinner, came home, and found her passed out on the floor in the kitchen.” His face paled. “Her pulse was too fast, and she was sluggish. Her speech was so slurred we feared she might have had a stroke, scared the hell out of me.”
Jett reached out, put his hand on Greg’s shoulder and squeezed. “If you think I can help I’ll try.”
“Thank you, Jett.”
“Anything for family. The fact that we didn’t make it down the aisle doesn’t change that.”
“That goes both ways, son.” Greg cleared his throat.
“Did you tell her I was coming?”
“No, we didn’t want to upset her.” Greg shook his head.
“Okay. How about you join Pam. Relax, and let me speak to her one-on-one.”
“That’s a good idea. I know she wouldn’t want an audience.”
And you wouldn’t want to hear what I have to say to Daddy’s little girl.
“We’ll take our time.”
“Good.”
When the door shut behind Greg, Jett strode over to sit in the dark blue chair beside her bed, placing his head in his hands.
“Lis, what are you doing?” He breathed in and released the air he’d trapped in his lungs. A part of him would always love her, but what once existed between them, that was gone. Maybe it hadn’t been there for a while to be honest. They’d been trying to rebuild themselves, move past the lies she’d kept from him, the constant state of fear he’d lived in while on the road, and during long hours on the set. Somewhere along the line he’d become her caregiver and champion. The hero who rushed in, righted wrongs, and nursed her back to health. Things were never meant to be that one-sided. It wasn’t healthy. Not that he could see it when he was smack dab in the middle of the storm.
He peeled back the blanket and cringed. Knobby ridges and bulges stuck out over skin stretched too tight. One wrong move and the delicate bone would probably snap. Cautious he leaned over, touched her skin with his finger. She was cool to the touch, which meant her body had to struggle to keep warm because of the lack of body fat.
“Jett.” He tensed. Does she know I’m here? She mumbled a few more unintelligible words, and he tugged the blanket back up, not wanting to embarrass her.
“Lis.” Too afraid to shake her for fear of breaking brittle bones, he placed a gentle hand on her back. “Lis.”
“Mhmm?”
“It’s time to wake up.”
She rolled onto her side. Stunned he sat back in his chair. With eyes too big for her face, and cheekbones so stark they could cut, her face was skeletal and alien. Her eyelids fluttered open.
“Jett?” Unbridled joy broke across her face. Then she crashed. Her eyes filled with shame, and she ducked her head. Scraggly, straw thin hair tumbled about her face.
“Don’t do that, don’t hide from me.”
“I can’t believe they called you.”
“I wish they would’ve sooner. What’s going on?” Silence stretched between them. “You know how stubborn I am. You really want to play the waiting game, Melissa?”
The sound of her full name made her flinch. “What’s there to say?”
“Oh I don’t know … why you stopped eating.” His voice rose. “I don’t get it. I mean isn’t this what you left to avoid, or was that a safe way of getting out the door?”
“How can you think that!”
“Finally a response!”
“Why are you here if you’re just going to yell at me!” Tears ran down her face.
“Because someone needs to! I’m not going to tip toe around on eggshells. You owe me an explanation right now.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth!”
“Even after I left it kept happening. Only this time it was pity from all the speculation. That poor girl, I knew it wasn’t going to last, I mean look at her and look at him! I’m shocked he strung her along for this long, or maybe he hid it.” She mimicked high-pitched voices.
“Why do you care, Lis? You know what happened.”
“Because I did it all for nothing!”
His jaw dropped.
“What am I doing? Who am I? I throw away a ten year relationship over what? Other people’s bullshit. The closer it got to our wedding date the more worthless I felt. This was the one thing left in my life I could control.”
“That’s codependency. We talked about this. You can do it yourself. I’m backup, a support. The strength is inside you, always has been.”
“It doesn’t feel that way. When I’m not with you sometimes it’s like … I can’t even breathe.”
“Lis.” He took her hand between his and willed his warmth to transfer. “Honey, you have a long way to go.”
“Oh God! It’s too late, isn’t it?” She hiccupped. Her heart monitor spiked. “You found someone else. Someone prettier? Thinner?” Her breath came in panicked pants.
“Calm down, Lis.”
“Tell me the truth!” Her shrill voice hurt his eardrums.
“Why? So you can obsess over it? No.” He removed his hands. “You’re going to see a counselor and start eating, even if I have to cram it down your throat myself. I’ll stand by you every step of the way. But you don’t get to dig into my personal life. We can’t go back down that path. For ten years we tried, Lis, and it doesn’t work.”
“Jett—”
“No. We need to work on forming a new relationship, one that’s healthy and doesn’t damage either of us.”
She hiccupped.
“And for the record, Lis. She’s much bigger than you ever were, even at your heaviest. I told you that stuff doesn’t matter to me. It’s all about what’s on the inside. ”
“Oh.” The words seemed to calm her, though the hurt in her eyes remained. “Well that’s something.”
“It’s recent. Don’t think I wasn’t cut to the core when you left. I wanted to come after you, beg, plead, promise you everything under the sun.”
“So why didn’t you?” Her voice quivered.
“Because it’s not what you needed. It wasn’t what was best, and when you really love someone, isn’t that what you want?” He stroked her hair back from her face. “What did you think? That I didn’t really care?”
“A part of me wondered.”
“That night when you told me you were leaving your eyes were dead. I’d never seen you look like that before.” The memories tasted like bitter ash in his mouth. “That look haunted me for months. Every time I wanted to pick up the phone, catch a flight out, or text you I thought about it. It wasn’t easy by any means to stay away. But I wanted to give you your space. I guess I gave too much.”
She picked at the blanket. “So, you don’t hate me?”
“Lis, no.” he bent down, tucked a finger under her chin and made her look up. “Is that what you thought?”
Their gazes clashed. “I hate me. Why don’t you?” The self-loathing in her eyes skewered his soul.
“Because I see you for who you really are. You’re looking at yourself through a distorted set of peepers. We’re going to get you help. Do you trust me?”
“Always.”
“Then stick with the program they’re offering you. Go to the counselor and the nutritionalist. I won’t lie and say it’ll be easy. It’s going to be hell. You’ll be building from the ground up, but I’ll help you, and you need it.” He stilled her hand.
“And you won’t leave me?”
“No, I won’t.”
“O-okay.”
“Yes?” he held his breath.
“Yes.”
“First step is always the hardest.”
“Yeah.”
He stayed at the hotel for a bit longer before calling it a day. Being at the home he’d once shared with Lis would be too creepy, so he opted to stay with his younger brother. As he drove home from the hospital he was eager to talk to Kansas. He could use some light humor after all the heavy. Plus, he needed to get to know his mystery woman more in order to sweep her off her feet properly. Unlike the brisk character out of tune with his emotions on the show he was a bit of romantic. His Dad taught him there was nothing more manly then showing your woman how much you loved her.
When he pulled up in the drive he was grateful his brother’s black sedan was missing. He parked, hurried inside the house to his guest room, stripped down and took a quick shower. Dressed in a pair of blue boxers he collapsed onto the bed, and grabbed his cell phone off the nightstand and dialed.
“Well aren’t you prompt, handsome.”
“I try. Are you still at the Con?”
“Yeah. Had to act normal.”
“You didn’t tell your friend?” He frowned.
“No, I wasn’t sure if I should or not.”
“Why? Is she some kind of a nutcase?” He grimaced, picturing a crazed friend begging her for every last detail of their night together.
Kansas laughed. “Yes, but not in that sense. She’s a harmless hippie, I promise. She owns her own new age shop, sells books about chakras and auras, that kind of thing. ”
“Oh. So what’s the problem?” His brow furrowed.
“You trying to put a label on me?”
“I like knowing where I stand.”
“Me, too … dating?”
“Yes … exclusively.” The thought of anyone putting their hands on Kansas made him want to maim.
“All right, we’ll try it. Though starting off long distance…”
“I can swing it if you can.”
“Oooh, a challenge?”
“If you want it to be.” Whatever will get you to agree, sweetheart.
“You keep appealing to the writer in me.”
“As long as I appeal.”
“You sound tired. How’s the emergency situation?”
“I’m exhausted. Better, but it’s nowhere near solved.” He paused. It isn’t really my story to tell completely, but in many ways it is.
“Jett? You still there?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking. I know you’re wondering what’s going on, and I want to be totally honest with you.”
“Okay.” She sounded guarded.
“Lis … she’s got anorexia. She’s in the hospital right now. They have her hooked up to an IV and a feeding tube. I think this is the worst I’ve ever seen her, and that’s saying a lot.”
“Oh my God! Jett.” She gasped.
“It’s the reason why we broke off our engagement. She couldn’t handle being in the public eye. She’d been refusing treatment and not opening up to her parents or her friends, so they called me. I was always the one who got her in gear when the lows hit.”
“Is she going to be okay?” The compassion in Kansas’s voice told him plenty about her.
“Yeah, I think so. We have a lot of things to work out. There was major co-dependency going on. I just wanted to help her so bad I think I overstepped my boundaries, and now we have to undo bad behavior. That’s why I came here. We made this mess together, and that’s how it needs to be cleaned up.”
“Okay, seriously, you’re amazing. The two of you aren’t even together, and you’re going to help her through it?” The almost snide tone took him by surprise.
“Of course, I mean we were together for ten years.”
“And you’re modest. Oh, Paranormal boy, I think I may keep
you.”
“I didn’t realize I was on the chopping block.” He snickered.
“Hmm, I’m selective, and trust must be earned not given.”
“Must be the reporter in you.”
“That and the fact that men can be a little too fly by night. Ladies, too, for that matter.”
“Well at least you’re fair about it.” He chuckled. “Be still, my southern soul, I think I found my country queen.”
“Ease up there, Mr. Walker, you’re moving at light speed.”
“I love it when you talk nerdy to me.”
Her laughter rang out in peels. “You do know this conversation is ridiculous, right?”
“I needed a little bit of that after my day.”
“I bet, you poor thing. You want Kansas to come over and kiss it better?”
“Do I get to choose the spot?” He lowered his voice.
“Dirty.”
“You love it.”
“Hmmm.”
He smiled at her coyness. She was an incredible mixture of class, humor, sexiness, and intelligence. Please let her stay exactly like this. Let this be the one. I’m not getting any younger, and watching my friends settle down, marry, and have babies is starting to kill me a little inside. Sure, he’d always wanted to be an actor, but even more he wanted to be a husband and a father. He never imagined he’d be pushing mid-thirties and have neither accomplished. I spent too long hanging my hopes on Lis.
“How was your day?” he asked, ready to veer on to a different train of thought.
“Fun, more fan girl screaming. They missed you by the way.”
“Yeah, I feel bad about it, but you know, family first.”
“You think of her … Lis as your family?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I mean we grew up together, a few streets apart.”
“Are you sure there aren’t any romantic feelings lingering between the two?”
“No, that ship sailed a little longer ago then I’d like to admit.” He sighed. How could he explain to her what he didn’t understand himself?
“That’s good enough for me right now. I don’t want you to go swimming back into the deep waters I just dragged you away from with my scintillating conversation and dazzling wit.”
“Modesty is one of your best qualities.” His voice was dry.