Loved You Always

by Natalina Reis

  My voice shook and so did my arms. “What if they come back before then?” I didn’t really want to hear the answer, but I had to ask. Reality was now beginning to sink in. “They’ll kill us.”

  “Did they leave you any food?” Nice of the officer to be concerned about our nutritional health, but weird time to ask that question. “If they left you food it means they expect not to come back for a while.”

  “They left a box of granola bars and water bottles. Not exactly a gourmet meal.” I laughed nervously, trying to make myself feel better.

  “We will get you out of there before they come back.” I liked that he seemed so sure of himself. “You and your boyfriend relax and we will be there before you know it.”

  “My boyfriend? Jem’s not my boyfriend.” Had they even contacted Dave? I heard Celia on the other end again. “What did you tell the cops about Jem and me?”

  “Nothing,” she said defensively. “He just assumed. How are you guys doing, anyway?”

  “Don’t change the subject. Where’s Dave?”

  “I tried to call him, but he never answered his phone.” Had she really tried? “I’ll try again after I get off here. Em…?” What now? That tone always promised trouble. “Marcy told me about Jem’s reaction to the potion. Why do you fight it if he’s the one you really love?”

  So that’s who Marcy was calling when I left the store. “I don’t want to talk about it. Find Dave and tell him what’s going on. I’m getting off now.” I hung up, furious at Celia and Marcy. And where in heaven’s name was Dave? Why wasn’t he answering his phone? And why were my legs and arms shaking so hard?

  “Are you okay?” Jem’s groggy voice reached my ears with the silkiness of a caress. His arm tight around me, he pulled me closer to him. “You’re trembling. Are you cold?” I had been running on adrenaline since I had first set eyes on the two thugs who kidnapped us. Not anymore. My whole body convulsed and ached. I was suddenly terrified. “Sweetie, we’re going to be okay.”

  Before I could do anything about it, Jem had turned me around to face him. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. Supporting his weight on one arm, Jem hovered over me, and the air became thick and hard to inhale. It was dark, but I could clearly see his amazing eyes glisten, as if they had a light of their own. Or maybe it was just my hyperactive imagination fueled by the yearning growing alarmingly fast within me. If he was going to say something, he thought better of it and silently drank me in. I must have done the same, for I was positively starting to feel the alcohol-like effects of his eyes on mine, his hand on my cheek, his thumb distractedly rubbing against the corner of my lips. Reality was losing definition as I dove deeper and deeper into Jem’s brilliant eyes.

  The phone vibrated against my breast once again, and I realized our faces had been moving toward each other like magnets. A moan of disappointment echoed through the dark room, and I wasn’t sure whether it had come from me or him. The phone now between the two of us, I made myself look away from his handsome face. “Hello,” I said after clearing my throat of the huge lump that had developed there. “Who’s this?” Jem hadn’t moved an inch.

  “It’s the police, Ms. Lambert.” Score for the cops! They may not be there rescuing us, but the phone call had almost certainly stopped something I would have regretted later. “I’m afraid we are having a lot of trouble locating you and your friend. I wanted to let you know you should prepare yourself for the possibility we may not get to you before the kidnappers return.”

  I sat up so quickly I bumped my head against Jem’s lip. He jumped out of the bed, covering his mouth and cursing.

  “Ouch!” I rubbed my forehead furiously. That was going to leave a mark. “What do you mean, prepare ourselves?”

  “Look around you. Find something heavy or sharp that you can use as a weapon. Just in case.” Who was he kidding? If the thugs had even suspected there was something in there we could use against them, they would have never untied us. “Something… creative, maybe.” Did he want us to paint something or carve a weapon out of the bed? Wait! The bed has decorative metal rods. If I can unscrew the headboard and remove the rods, we may just have an improvised weapon. “Do you see anything you could use?”

  “Yes, maybe. Thank you.” With the promise of another call as soon as he had any news, the police officer hung up. A little beeping sound came from my phone.

  “What’s that?” Jem asked, walking around to my side of the bed. He looked so sexy as he touched his lip with his fingers. Another inappropriate thought invaded my brain. I shook it off.

  “The battery is dying.” His eyes widened and I noticed his lip was a little swollen. “Crap, sorry. Does it hurt?” I stood and crossed the space between us to examine his lip. I had to stand on my tiptoes, but I was able to confirm I had busted his lip. A trickle of blood rolled slowly down toward his chin. Using my finger I wiped it away.

  I shouldn’t have done that.

  The heat was back in force, and I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one feeling it. Jem had taken a step closer to me and my hands were caught between us, lying flat on his hard chest. “What are you doing?” Deep ocean eyes drowned me, and the panic I always felt around him dissipated as if by magic. All I could think of was his eyes, and all I could feel was the growing warmth enveloping me whole.

  “God, I missed you.” His voice, low and hoarse, caressed my ears. My legs buckled, and I held on to him as if my life depended on it.

  His swoonworthy lips descended on mine, and I got lost in the taste and scent of him. It had been a lifetime since our mouths had explored each other like that. Even then, I was the only one who had been fully conscious—considering he had been sleeping at the time. It was exactly like I remembered it. Better even, now that I knew Jem to be as into me as I was him. Shamelessly, I pulled him even closer, wrapping my arms around his waist and deepening the kiss. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—have any space between us. I had waited too long for this moment, and all that pent-up desire had suddenly exploded out of the deepest corners of my body and soul.

  With a stumble, Jem pushed me onto the bed. We fell on it with a big screeching of old wood against metal, me on top of him. “I think we may have broken the bed,” he whispered against my lips.

  Busy trying to pull his T-shirt over his head, I giggled absently. His glorious chest was now bare, and I felt my whole body turn to hot, thick liquid. I flattened my hands across the muscles of his torso and stopped for a moment, frozen by the overwhelming feelings taking control of me. His mumble reminded me that the T-shirt was still around his neck, covering his face, and I reached out to remove it completely. His beautiful, genuine smile hit me harder than if he had slapped me. What was I doing? I had a boyfriend. Whom I loved. Dearly.

  “You okay?” Jem asked, worry clouding his eyes.

  I jumped off him and walked a few steps away from the bed. “Hell no! I can’t do this.” I wasn’t sure whether I was speaking to Jem or myself.

  Bare-chested and obviously confused, Jem rose to a sitting position and threw me an inquiring glance. “What can’t you do?” Oh God. He was so gorgeous, and my mind went back to his lips and how they had tasted like ambrosia. I took two more steps away from him.

  “Put the shirt on, Jem.” Try as I may, I couldn’t take my eyes off him, a mess of blond curls and swollen lips. “I’m in a relationship. I must be mad. We must be mad.”

  He looked so forlorn I felt I needed to give him a hug. Instead, I turned my back on him and pulled out my phone. “But, Em—”

  “Jeremy Peter, here we are being held captive by God-knows-who—someone who will probably have us killed soon—and we’re all over each other like crazed rabbits.” The image of mating rabbits made me cringe, right as my phone beeped again in my hands. “Great! And now the battery is pretty much dead.”

  I half turned just in time to see Jem throwing himself back onto the bed and groaning. I stared at my phone, and then I remembered the new wireless charger Dave had
given me for my birthday. It was a flat contraption about the size of a cigarette pack that I could stuff pretty much anywhere and required only a tiny wire.

  “What are you doing?” Jem had retrieved his T-shirt and was now sitting on the edge of the bed, sliding it over his head. He watched me curiously as I raised my shirt and pulled out something from under the waist of my jeans. “What’s that?”

  “A charger.” No need for further explanation. I looked around for a flat surface to lay it down on, but finding none, I set it up on the floor with my phone on top.

  “You had a charger on you?” Jem sounded almost irritated, as if being prepared was a bad thing. “Is there anything else you have on you? Like maybe a key out of this damned place?”

  I actually stuck my tongue out at him, like I used to do when we were little and he pissed me off. God! How immature of me. This man could make me do things and behave in ways I wouldn’t dream of with anyone else. To his credit, I was so distracted by his presence I hadn’t had much time to think about our less-than-desirable situation.

  Not wanting to sit next to him, I ended up sitting cross-legged on the floor. The concrete was uncomfortable and cold, but it beat the awkwardness of feeling Jem’s body next to me. It was very late and I was sleepy, but going back to that bed was not an option. Not while my ex-best friend was in it.

  Jem had lain back down, his arms crossed behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles. “Are you going to tell me why? The real reason why you’re fighting this—fighting us?”

  I snapped my head up and gave him another look of death. “I told you why. I have a great boyfriend whom I very much would like to keep. You, on the other hand, have not been part of my life for a very long time.” Ouch! I’m sure that stung a bit, but so be it. He didn’t seem to be getting the idea at all.

  With a flinch, Jem shook his head. “But you don’t love him.”

  What? Where did he get that idea? Well, we had just almost…. Still. It had been a moment of weakness during a trying time for both of us. It did not mean anything. “I do love Dave.” I was outraged by his assumption. “He is a wonderful man and we have been dating now for almost two years.”

  “If you’ve been dating that long and you love him so much, why haven’t you given him a key to your place yet?” Bang! Right in the kisser.

  “It… just never… seem—it never seemed to be the right time. Not because I don’t love him.” I was whining, and that was so unlike me. I hate you, Jem. Only, of course, I didn’t.

  Jem was silent for a few moments, studying me. “Okay, maybe you love him a little,” he finally said, turning on his side and supporting his head on his bent arm. “But I know you have loved me for a long time, Emily Rose. You loved me since we were in college. I know you have.”

  How did he know? “You are so full of shit, Jeremy Peter. You are pulling at straws, and you know it.” I hoped my face didn’t betray me, for my heart had started racing again, and my cheeks felt hotter than hot.

  His eyes softened. “That day in your room when you thought I had fallen asleep….” My heart thumped like an angry bunny’s. “I had fallen asleep for a little while, but I woke up to find you kissing me. Remember that?”

  How could I forget my one moment of true insanity? “You were awake?” My feeble response came out so quietly I couldn’t be sure he had heard it.

  He nodded. “I was so surprised by it I decided to see where it would go. You had never shown any indication you felt like that.” His eyes were burning holes into my soul. “And you know what? I found out I liked the feeling of your lips on mine. I found out that I wanted so much more….”

  I swallowed bile. Torn between being embarrassed and being annoyed, I couldn’t find the words to express any of my feelings. I sat on the cold floor, staring at the shadowy figure of my ex-best friend, and wishing things were so very different.

  “Then it hit me. What if things didn’t go well between us? After all, I didn’t exactly have a good record when it came to relationships. What if I messed up things with you, as well? I would’ve lost my best friend. I didn’t think I could handle that.” He sighed, sat up, and slid his long legs out of the bed. Even in the semidarkness of the room I could see the glint of his perfect sapphire eyes. “I couldn’t risk losing you. So I pretended I was dreaming about the flavor of the month.”

  What did I say to that? How should I have responded? I was so confused. So I went on the attack. “So you decided to move to another country and totally cut communications with me? Sorry, but that doesn’t sound like the actions of someone who does not want to lose a friend. It sounds like someone who couldn’t care less.”

  Gripping a fistful of his T-shirt over his heart, Jem bit down on his lower lip. “Don’t you get it, Em?” His voice came out tainted by pain, and I squirmed. “I left because I was in love with you. I couldn’t handle being around you and not being able to kiss you. I couldn’t sleep at night. My dates lasted but a few hours, and—in spite of what you may think—I did not have a slew of girlfriends waiting for me in my bed.” I watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Shit, Em. I went away so I could save you and me from heartbreak.”

  We were silent for a while, both staring into each other’s eyes. The air around us seemed to crackle with electricity.

  “That was the most stupid thing you could have done. How would that save me from heartbreak? I’ve been hurting for five long years, Jem. How is that better than us dating and failing?” I realized I had just given out too much information, and I bit my tongue to prevent myself from revealing any more. “How did you ever think moving to Europe and spending the next five years with no communication would help us in any way?” I was livid that he thought I was stupid enough to believe this ridiculous reasoning.

  He raked his hair with his hand in a move I knew all too well. “I was a dumb, stupid kid. I thought if I moved away for a few months, whatever feelings we had for each other would sort themselves out, and our friendship would remain intact.” His voice trembled a little. “God, Em. We were always together, in each other’s houses…. Shit, we even shared a bed sometimes. I thought a little distance would allow us to see clearer, figure things out.”

  “It was five years, Jem. Five freaking long years.” I was yelling.

  In a swift move, he jumped from the edge of the bed to come and kneel before me, his hands holding my arms. “Tina told me the whole thing would blow over soon.” It sounded like a plea. “She told me the prosecution had other witnesses lined up, all the evidence they needed. As soon as the case was taken to court it would be over, she told me. Then both Tina and I would be free to live our lives again as we pleased. I thought I was going to be away for two, three months tops.”

  I digested what he’d told me, his hands burning the skin of my arms. His mere proximity made me vibrate with yearning. “What did you expect, Jem?” I finally said. “Did you think I was going to wait for you for years without knowing whether you were alive or dead? I moved on. I had to. I couldn’t just sit at home and pine for someone I had no reason to believe cared enough for me.”

  His hands tightened around my forearms. “Of course I cared,” he protested, his eyes seeking mine. “I was your best friend. We had been together since we were kids. How could you doubt I cared?”

  Angry, I pulled away from him, freeing myself from his touch. “How could I not? You left me without even saying good-bye. Did I mention the five years of total radio silence? Did you really expect me to wait for you?”

  He hung his head, chin and eyes dropped to his chest. “No, I suppose not.” Even when I was angry at him, I wanted to hug and comfort him. “I just hoped….”

  Making a decision, I stood up, grabbed my phone and charger, and walked toward the bed. “No point in dwelling on this. I love Dave and I am not giving him up because you suddenly materialized in my life again.” I made sure to stress the word love to see him flinch. I was not disappointed. “There are men who wish us harm and they may come at any tim
e. We should focus on trying to save our skins. Can you help me try to unscrew some of these metal rods from the bed?”

  After a moment of hesitation, Jem stood up and joined me by the bed. It was going to be a long night ahead, so we might as well spend it working on a solution for our dire situation. Those rods may very well be our only hope for survival.

  ***

  The phone woke me up. I grabbed it instinctively, still groggy from sleep. “Yes?”

  “Are you okay, Em?” The familiar voice of my sister soothed my aching heart.

  “So far, we’re still alive,” I joked, blinking my eyes open. Morning had dawned, and the room was no longer immersed in darkness. I was lying on top of the bed, but where was Jem? I frantically scanned the area and found him stretched out on the cold floor a few feet away from the bed.

  “Don’t even joke about it.” My usually irreverent sister sounded somber and anxious. “The police are still trying to pinpoint your location. With all the technology available nowadays, you would think they’d have found you by now.”

  “Relax, sis. We’re both okay,” I assured her, and realized I was assuring myself as well. “They haven’t come back yet.”

  “I talked to Marcy, and she’s concocting some spell to help the police find you.” Of course, she was. In spite of everything, I smiled. Probably some smelly potion that would drive the detectives up the walls. “She’s pretty certain she can do it.”

  “I probably should get off, Celia.” I didn’t want to add to her anxiety, and to be honest, knowing the little witch was up to her tricks made me that much more anxious. “In case the cops call.”

  We said our good-byes, Celia’s voice betraying a little sob, and I hung up. I was still lying on top of the bed, turned on my side. Jem still slept, his handsome features twisted into a frown. He was having bad dreams. Was he dreaming about the danger we were in or our personal issues? I knew I should be preparing for the inevitable. Those guys would be coming back at any time, and we should be ready. However, I couldn’t move. I didn’t want this moment to end. Watching Jem sleep gave me a sense of peace and satisfaction I hadn’t felt in a very long while. Weird how I had never felt like that with Dave. In fact, I couldn’t remember a single instance when I had watched him sleep. Any time he stayed over, I always went straight to sleep after our lovemaking. In the morning, I was always out of bed and running to get coffee before I even looked at him. Why was that?