Plain Jane in the Spotlight

by Lucy Gordon

  ‘A little, but we don’t have to be sentimental. What’s done is done.’

  ‘That’s very good. I just hope you can go on feeling like that. Yearning and regret for what can’t be changed can waste your life. Now, I have to go; they’re beckoning me.’

  Left alone, she brooded. Travis’s remarks about the wisdom of not indulging in regrets made her remember his absence the night before. Was he already looking ahead to the day when she would be surplus to his requirements? She guessed he wouldn’t cruelly dump her. He would hand her gently into the arms of another suitor, thus preserving her feelings and her dignity.

  She supposed she ought to be grateful to him. She couldn’t imagine why she wasn’t.

  ‘Can I sit down?’

  Looking up, she saw Lee, smiling at her in a way that had once made her heart turn over.

  ‘Sure,’ she said.

  ‘I’ve been waiting for the chance, but I didn’t want to disturb you when you were with the great man.’

  ‘I tried to call you this morning but your phone was switched off.’

  ‘Yes, it still isn’t working properly,’ he said with an uneasy laugh.

  Suddenly she pitied him. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault that he was a coward. Not every man could be brave and generous like Travis.

  ‘Stop worrying,’ she said. ‘It was a false alarm.’

  ‘You mean you’re not-?’

  ‘No, I’m not. It’s over. Finito. Kaput. Nothing for you to worry about.’

  He beamed. ‘Oh, wow! That’s wonderful. Then everything’s all right.’

  ‘I suppose if you look at it one way, yes.’ It annoyed her that it didn’t seem to cross his mind that she might be disappointed. She wondered if anyone else’s feelings had ever crossed his mind in his entire life.

  ‘You’re quite sure, aren’t you?’ he asked anxiously. ‘There’s no chance of a mistake?’

  ‘No chance at all. Stop worrying.’

  His whole being was brilliant with joy. ‘This is so wonderful.’ He leaned forward, seized her face between his hands and planted a smacking kiss on her mouth. ‘Bless you for being a great girl!’

  He danced away. Charlene stared after him, confused. Where was the devastation she should be feeling? Where was the disappointed love?

  Love! said a scathing voice in her mind. Is that what you called it? More fool you!

  She’d longed to believe it was love, especially when she’d thought she was to have his child. But the bleak emptiness showed her a cruel truth. Her ‘love’ had been as much an illusion as his; a fantasy created by a lonely girl who yearned for a feeling of belonging.

  There was even an incredible sense of relief that nothing now tied her to this irresponsible boy. She was free. Alone, but free.

  ‘Charlene, for pity’s sake, what’s the matter?’

  Travis suddenly appeared in the seat beside her, seizing her, anxiously searching her face.

  ‘You look so strange,’ he said frantically. ‘I came back for a moment, and when I saw him kiss you I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But please, tell me you’re all right.’

  ‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said lightly. ‘He kissed me from relief, that’s all. He’s got what he wanted.’

  ‘What about what you want? Did he ever think of that?’ he demanded, unconsciously echoing her own thoughts.

  ‘That would only have confused him.’

  ‘Do you want me to punch him?’

  She shrugged. ‘Whatever for? Everyone’s happy.’

  ‘Are they? Are they?’ His eyes, fixed on hers, were angry and dark with meaning.

  She was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Vera, offering to take Charlene to see some more of the studio.

  ‘That sounds great,’ Charlene said cheerfully. ‘Let’s go.’

  Her mind seemed to have slipped into another dimension and she enjoyed the tour, especially the last part, where they crept into the rehearsal room just as Travis was confronting Lee in a scene.

  ‘It’s best to think a little before you speak,’ ‘Dr Harrison’ was saying. ‘Your patients will appreciate it.’

  ‘I do try,’ Lee was saying in character. ‘But things can get very difficult.’

  ‘Hey, what happened there?’ called Vince. ‘Travis, you’re supposed to simply stand there and look at him, not reach out as though you meant to hit him.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Travis said in a tight voice. ‘Something made me jump.’

  ‘OK, do it again,’ Vince called. ‘Travis, remember you’re full of warm feeling and generosity.’

  ‘Yeah, right!’

  ‘Let’s leave them to it,’ Vera murmured, and they slipped away.

  Charlene recalled Travis saying he rarely lost his temper and found it hard to cope when he did. But surely he hadn’t lost his temper with Lee?

  Yet the look on his face had surprised her, and possibly everyone else in the room. Anger coming out of nowhere.

  At the end of the day she went out to wait for him in the car. There were nods and salutations from the others who were leaving, always with an edge of curiosity and respect.

  I could get used to this, she thought. OK, so it’s all a con, but who says I can’t enjoy a con while it lasts?

  After a few minutes Travis joined her and they relaxed in the back together.

  ‘Do you ever have to drive yourself?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m not allowed to drive myself,’ he said, grinning. ‘The bosses say they want me free to think of nothing but my “art”. The truth is that I’m not a brilliant driver and they’re terrified I’ll have an accident that will reflect badly on the show.’

  As the car pulled away, Charlene saw Lee watching her from a distance. He waved and quickly stepped back into the shadows. She glanced at Travis, wondering if he’d noticed, but he was looking the other way.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THEY got out a few blocks from his home, and went to dine in a small restaurant.

  As they relaxed over the main course, Charlene said, ‘We need to talk about money. You give me too much.’

  ‘You deserve every penny. I want you to take more and equip yourself with more clothes.’

  ‘Then I’ll buy them myself.’

  ‘At LA prices? No way.’

  ‘I mean it. I’m your useful piece of stage equipment, not your kept woman. This is an arrangement of equals or it’s nothing.’

  ‘Equals?’ He looked comically alarmed. ‘I don’t do equals.’

  ‘You’ve never heard of women’s lib?’

  ‘I’ve heard of it but I try to ignore it. I don’t know! My girlfriend paying for herself. Whatever is the world coming to? Well, at least you have to accept this.’

  From his pocket he produced a small jewel box. Inside she found the pearl earrings that he’d left behind on the first night.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ he said.

  ‘And the press thinks you’re the great romantic,’ she teased.

  He fixed the earrings for her. She had to admit they were beautiful. He thought so too, from the way he was smiling.

  They strolled home, yawning, for it was very late. As they got into the elevator a middle-aged man appeared, hurrying. Travis held the doors open for him, calling, ‘It’s all right, Sam, I’ve got it.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said the man. He smiled and nodded at Charlene.

  ‘Charlene, this is my friend, Sam Barton. He and his wife live on the floor below us.’

  ‘And you don’t have to tell me who this is,’ Sam said, shaking her hand. ‘You’re the talk of LA.’

  The three of them exchanged pleasantries until the elevator stopped, and Sam bid them goodnight, departing with a curious look at Charlene.

  ‘Nice guy,’ Travis said as they finished the journey. ‘We must have him and his wife to supper. You’ll like Rita.’

  ‘Are they in the business?’ Charlene asked. She had fallen easily into the habit of referring to the entertainment world as ‘the
business’ as though there was no other. In Los Angeles it was easy to believe that was true.

  ‘In a way. He works in one of the studios, on the financial side. She used to be a model and a dancer.’

  In her own room she prepared for bed, then went to stand by the window and look down on the gleaming city. Just below, she could see the garden, and Travis, sitting there. He was leaning back against a tree, his eyes closed, his lips moving.

  It would be fascinating, she thought, to be a bird in the nearby bush, and hear what he was saying. But she doubted she would ever understand him. Today he’d puzzled her afresh-calm, agitated, unpredictable, but never less than the kind man she valued so dearly.

  She drew the curtain and stepped back.

  Down below, Travis opened his eyes, glancing up to the top of the building. Again he murmured the words that had struck a nerve.

  ‘“Useful piece of stage equipment.” Well, I’ve been warned.’

  * * *

  They settled into a comfortable pattern, treating each other with the cheerful friendliness of siblings. At her suggestion, he began calling her Charlie.

  ‘She’s the real me, sensible and practical. Charlene is the fantasy version.’

  He nodded. ‘Very clever.’

  He had to be away for a few days, shooting outdoor scenes. Every night he called to ask how she was, and she reassured him. Neither of them ever mentioned Lee.

  She was glad of a few free days free. It gave her some time alone, which she felt she needed. Now everything about her had changed. Heads turned in the street, people nudged as she went past. If she’d needed confirmation of Travis’s fame, she was getting it.

  Now some of it seemed to have rubbed off on her. Cameras appeared, voices called, ‘Look this way.’ She obliged, careful to look pleasant, but always escaped quickly.

  ‘And they keep asking me to give them a quote,’ she told him. ‘I don’t, of course, but they’re getting pressing.’

  ‘I’m sorry you’re having a hard time.’

  ‘I didn’t say I was having a hard time.’ She laughed. ‘It’s got its funny side, but I don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing.’

  ‘We’ll sort it out, I promise. We need to arrange things so that they come out the way we want. I’ll be home soon. I had hoped it might be tonight, but there’s been a big delay. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  In fact the delay was cleared up sooner than expected, and he managed to make it home at three in the morning. The apartment was dark and he entered quietly.

  But as he crossed the hall he heard a burst of laughter from Charlene’s room. He wondered what could make a woman shriek with laughter at this hour, and didn’t like any of the answers he came up with.

  The gentlemanly thing might have been to creep away, without asking questions about something that was none of his business. But he wasn’t feeling like a gentleman. If that was Lee, and he had a horrible feeling that it was, then the silly girl must be protected.

  Then came her voice again.

  ‘Oh, come on, you can’t do that. No, really, you mustn’t. Behave yourself!’

  Travis didn’t hesitate. In a flash he had the door open, seeking Charlene and whoever she was entertaining. But then he stopped on the threshold, taken aback by what met his eyes.

  She was alone in the room, sitting at the dressing table, talking into a cellphone. She glanced up at him, and said, ‘Travis has just walked in.’ She looked up at him. ‘It’s my grandparents.’

  ‘Your-?’

  ‘I told you about them. They called me from Nairobi and I’ve been telling them all about you. Hello-Emma, yes, he’s still here. You can talk to him.’ She handed him the phone.

  Even far away in Nairobi they had heard the news from Los Angeles and wanted to thank him for befriending her. Charlene switched the phone onto ‘hands free’ so that she could hear their voices and join in, and they all spent a very jolly ten minutes.

  Afterwards he sat on the edge of the bed, trying to pull himself together.

  ‘You look absolutely knocked out,’ she said sympathetically. ‘Can I get you something?’

  ‘No, I’ll go straight to bed, thank you. I just need to get some sleep and…goodnight.’

  He got out, fast.

  * * *

  Over breakfast next morning he said, ‘You really scared me last night, telling someone to stop what they were doing. I thought a man had broken in.’

  ‘No, it was just Frank and Emma. It’s incredible, at their age they’re such a pair of clowns.’

  ‘Yes, they sounded like good fun,’ he agreed. ‘I’ll hope to meet them some day. When are they coming back?’

  ‘Not for six weeks.’

  ‘But you’re not in a rush to leave me, are you?’

  ‘No, I like it here, if it’s all right with you.’

  ‘It’s a deal then.’

  They shook hands and spent the rest of the meal making domestic arrangements. Travis had a cleaner who came in three times a week, but apart from that he managed for himself. When it came to food, he either ate on the way home, arranged a takeout or made himself a basic snack. Charlene made a list of his favourite meals, studied it and set herself to practise seriously.

  ‘You’re a great cook,’ he said a week later. ‘You get better every day.’

  ‘I do my best.’

  ‘Then congratulations. It’s a fantastic best.’

  ‘And there’s something else.’ She took out a large envelope, filled with pieces of paper. ‘I found this by accident. It just fell out and I had to gather up the papers from the floor.’

  He groaned. ‘They’re receipts I’m supposed to send to my accountant. I’m afraid I let them get into a mess.’

  ‘I can see that. And where you’ve made notes and done sums-well, never mind. I’ve been through, trying to put them in some sort of order.’

  She handed him the list she’d made, and his face brightened.

  ‘Hey, they actually make sense. I could send this to my accountant without a load of apologies. That’s great!’

  ‘So you don’t mind? You don’t feel I violated your privacy?’

  ‘Charlie, you can violate my privacy any time you like,’ he said fervently. ‘In fact there are several things-’

  In a short time she was privy to all his financial details, including investments. His accountant was a big name but there were a hundred smaller matters that Travis needed to get organised before sending them to him. And among his many talents efficiency and good order found no place.

  With delight he dumped everything on Charlene. Now she had access to all his computer accounts, including passwords, enabling her to access his bank account every morning. This she did, several times raising queries, one of which averted a minor disaster.

  Travis rewarded her with a glittering gold pendant, but what really pleased her was his look of joy and relief, and his exclamation, ‘However did I manage without you?’

  ‘Your own private bank clerk!’ She chuckled.

  ‘Bank clerk,’ he said softly. ‘Is that what you call it?’

  Both his eyes and his voice told her that he called it something entirely different. But just what that something might be he wasn’t ready to say.

  Charlene enjoyed life in Beachwood Canyon. Despite its glamorous location, it closely resembled a village, with a coffee shop, a market and a number of little boutiques where people could meet casually. She saw several faces that she recognised, famous actors and musicians. At first she was tempted to stare, then realised that she too was being stared at.

  ‘How are you coping?’ asked an elderly man who came to sit beside her in a coffee shop. After a moment she recognised him as a once famous star, known for his dynamic sexiness, but now in his eighties.

  ‘It is you, isn’t it?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, it’s me. I’m flattered to be remembered.’

  ‘I saw you on television in…you know, the film that nearly won you the Best Actor award.�
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  ‘The operative word being “nearly”. In those days they were practically the only awards. These days there’s a whole host of them, especially for TV shows. The TopGo Television Drama Awards are coming up soon and they say your guy’s going to scoop every prize going. There’s five categories he can be nominated for and the big money says he’ll win every one. You two will have a great time at the award ceremony.’

  ‘If I’m still here.’

  ‘Sure you’ll be here. Everyone says he’s crazy about you. Are you saying he isn’t?’

  ‘I’m saying it’s private.’ She chuckled.

  ‘Good for you. If I hadn’t given so many interviews about things that should have stayed private I’d still be married to my second wife, or perhaps my third.’

  They settled into a happy discussion, after which Charlene finished the day with a visit to a boutique that was as fashionable as anything to be found in the city. By now she was a little short of time, but she had her eye on a pair of stretch jeans.

  ‘The size looks about right for me,’ she said. ‘You close in five minutes, don’t you? I’ll take them.’

  Back in the apartment, she pulled on the jeans and considered herself thoughtfully.

  They’re just a little tighter than I thought, she mused. Too tight? Yes? No? If my rear was bigger I could be accused of flaunting it, but I’m so skinny I can get away with it.

  But ‘skinny’ wasn’t the right word, she knew. While not voluptuous, her behind was nicely shaped, elegantly curved.

  She found a floaty chiffon blouse that hung loosely down over the revealing trousers, concealing her rear from general sight.

  From the front door came the sound of a knock and a cry, ‘Is anyone there?’

  ‘Coming,’ she called.

  Outside, she found a middle-aged woman with a tall, lithe figure.

  ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘I’m Rita Barton, your neighbour from the next floor down. I came to return something I borrowed from Travis.’

  She had a bright, cheerful face and Charlene instinctively liked her.

  ‘Come in,’ she said.

  She realised that this was the woman whose husband they had met in the elevator. She’d been a model and a dancer, and although she was no longer young her movements were still graceful.