by Lucy Gordon
‘I was out of bed,’ she stammered. ‘I stubbed my toe.’
‘Can I come in?’
‘No,’ she cried quickly. ‘Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight.’ He sounded reluctant, but at last she heard him move away.
She lay there, breathing hard, trying to pull herself together, but with no success. Where was calm, sensible Charlie when she was needed? Nowhere to be found.
But she was strong. She wouldn’t give in to her sudden fierce awareness of him as a man. That was her problem, not his, and he mustn’t be allowed to suspect. She closed her eyes, trying to banish him.
Yet he was stubborn and awkward, lingering on the edge of her consciousness, demanding entry to remind her once more how her heart was eagerly opening to him, reproaching her for not feeling it before.
‘No,’ she cried desperately. ‘You mustn’t- I mustn’t- No, please!’’
‘Charlie!’
‘No-no-’
‘Charlie-wake up!’
She could feel his hands, grasping her firmly until she opened her eyes and realised that Travis had come into the room. He was sitting on the bed, holding her shoulders and giving her a gentle shake.
‘Wake up,’ he said. ‘Charlie, please wake up.’
‘Oh-yes-yes-’
‘Are you awake now?’
‘Yes,’ she choked.
‘My poor dear. Such a terrible nightmare you must have had. You sounded in agony.’
‘You could hear me?’ she cried, aghast. Whatever had she said? What had she revealed?
‘I could hear you in my room, through two closed doors. I know you sent me away before but I couldn’t leave you to suffer alone like that. I heard you call, “I mustn’t-no, please”. What’s so terrible that you mustn’t do it? Come on, you can tell me. I’m your brother, remember?’
That was the one thing he would never be again, she thought desperately. He was a man, with all a man’s attractions. She’d deluded herself about this before, but never again.
Now he was lying down on the bed, his arms about her in a hug that devastated her with its hint of things she might yearn for but could never claim. The blankets were between them and she clung to that thought for safety, because she so desperately wished that they weren’t. Even so, she could feel the shape of his body, its warmth and power, its promise of delight for a woman he had chosen.
But she was not that woman. He hadn’t chosen her. He’d turned to her in despair.
‘What was the dream about?’ he whispered.
‘I’m…not sure. It was so vague-’
‘But you sounded scared. You were pleading. Who were you pleading with?’
I was pleading with myself not to fall in love with you, pleading for strength and common sense to save me from what I want so much.
‘Nobody,’ she said. ‘Nothing.’
‘You’re lying. Why? What is it that you can’t tell me?’
I can never tell you anything again.
‘I can’t remember,’ she forced herself to say. ‘It’s over now. I can go back to sleep.’
‘You want me to go?’
‘You’ve got a long day tomorrow,’ she said with an attempt at brightness. ‘You must think of that.’
‘I see. All right, I’ll go.’
There was a faintly forlorn note in his voice, almost as though he felt snubbed. But she barely heard it through her own feeling of rejection. She waited until he’d gone, then rolled over and curled up in a ball, as though trying to shut out the whole world. She stayed like that, wide awake and fretting, for the rest of the night.
CHAPTER NINE
NEXT morning she told him about Lee and Penny’s engagement.
‘Oh, Charlie, I’m sorry. Was it very painful for you?’
‘Not at all. Over and done with.’
‘The one I’m sorry for is Penny,’ he mused. ‘Her contract has just been renewed for next season’s show. So far, his hasn’t. But with her to fight his corner-’ He shrugged.
‘Let’s hope things work out well for them both,’ she said.
It was strange to recall how this would once have broken her heart, but that was before her new awareness of Travis as a man. While it was only his kind friendship that had touched her it had been easy to keep a sense of proportion. But since she’d seen him nearly naked everything had been different.
‘What is it?’ he asked suddenly.
‘What’s what?’
‘That look on your face, as though you’d discovered a secret joke. What have I said that’s funny?’
‘Nothing. It’s not you that’s funny. It’s me.’
‘So tell me.’
‘No…no, I can’t,’ she insisted.
‘All right, I don’t want to pry. By the way, I’m sorry about last night.’
‘But what is there to be sorry about?’
‘Getting all miserable and emotional. I went too far. You do know you’ve got nothing to fear from me, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she said with a touch of sadness. ‘I do know.’
‘I promised you that when you moved in here-’ he gave a self-conscious laugh ‘-when I more or less forced you to move in.’
‘You didn’t force me.’
‘Manipulated you, then. I seized the chance to make you do what suited me. I’m good at that, I’m afraid, and I don’t blame you if you don’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust me. I’m a bad character. But you know that.’
‘Travis, there’s no need for this, honestly.’
‘All right, I’ll shut up in a minute. I talk too much as well.’
That was true. If she hadn’t been distracted by her own nerves she might have noticed that he was gabbling like a man holding on for dear life.
‘You’re probably planning to make a run for it,’ he went on, ‘but there’s no need. I give you my word. Don’t leave me, Charlie.’
‘I won’t leave. I know you can’t manage without your big sister.’
‘Funny how you always say big sister, although I’m older than you.’
‘No, you’re not. Compared to me, you’re about five years old.’
He gave a rueful grin. ‘I guess that’s true. What would I do without you to keep me on the straight and narrow?’
‘You’d pick someone else from the crowds who’d apply.’
‘But there aren’t crowds because nobody else knows that much about me. I’d never let them. Only you.’
‘Well, be careful how many of your dark secrets you tell me. When this is over I’ll probably blackmail you.’
They both laughed, but then he said, ‘Why should it be over? Why can’t we stay in touch for the rest of our lives? You’re the best friend I ever had, and I’m not going to let my best friend go.’
Best friend. Once the words would have pleased her. Now they were like the crack of doom.
The phone rang. He answered it and a moment later she heard him cry, ‘Yes!’ in a voice full of delight. ‘That’s wonderful! I don’t know what took you so long-yes, yes, all right. Of course I’m coming. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Give Cassie my love.’
He hung up, seized Charlene and waltzed her around the room.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked, laughing.
‘That was my brother, Marcel.’
‘The one who made a mess of his proposal and she went back to modelling?’
‘That’s the one. But he’s got her back. You remember that picture we saw, and you said she must be making a lot of money? Well, she was, enough to invest in his business. Then she marched in, told him she was a fellow shareholder.’
‘So he had to treat her as an equal instead of walking all over her,’ Charlene said. ‘Excellent.’
‘Somehow they’ve managed to get it together, and they’re marrying in Paris next month. It’ll be a big celebration. We’ll have a great time, and you can meet my family.’
‘Am I invited?’
‘Are you-? Listen, everyone’s crazy to meet you. I
wouldn’t dare go without you. Hang it! Who’s that?’ The phone had rung again. ‘Yes? Hi, Joe. Yes, I’m on my way-glad you’re pleased-well, I guess we could do some more-wait, she’s here. I’ll ask her.’
He turned to Charlene. ‘It’s Joe. He’s pleased with the story so far, but he wants to “direct strategy” as he puts it. Can you come into the studio with me this morning?’
‘Sure.’
‘Joe, we’re on our way.’
Joe cornered them as soon as they arrived and swept them down to the studio canteen. By now Charlene was used to being surveyed, and wasn’t offended by the way he looked her up and down, then nodded.
‘Yup. Going well.’
‘Thank you,’ she said ironically.
‘No, really, you’re doing a fantastic job.’
‘What about me?’ Travis demanded comically.
‘Oh, sure, you too.’
Travis put his arm around Charlene’s shoulder, hugging her and saying, ‘You see how it is. Now you’re here nobody notices me any more. I could get insulted.’
‘Yeah, right.’ She aimed a shadow punch at him. He delighted her in this jokey mood.
‘Can we be serious?’ Joe demanded. ‘I know the press are in pursuit but we need to stage something where we’re in control. I’ve arranged a theatre attendance for you so that they can see you entering the box, standing there for all to see. And I think a couple of shopping expeditions. Travis, you should buy her some jewellery so that’ll start them speculating.’
‘Do we want them to speculate?’ Charlene asked. ‘What happens when it comes to nothing?’
‘Who says it comes to nothing?’ Joe asked.
‘That’s enough,’ Travis said firmly. ‘Don’t go too far. Charlene’s helping us out of the goodness of her heart.’
‘And she’ll gain. You can give her a lot of jewellery, all paid for by the studio, and if you eventually quarrel and she chucks it back at you, I’ll make sure it’s returned to her quietly.’
‘Oh, we quarrel and I chuck it back at him?’ she said hilariously.
‘Yeah, but be careful how you do that. Don’t hit his face. The studio has a lot of money invested in that face.’
‘Fine, I’ll just punch him in the stomach.’
‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’ Travis asked wildly.
‘I don’t know how I’m keeping a straight face,’ she told him.
‘Yeah, it’s got its funny side,’ Joe conceded with a grin, ‘but it’s serious too. I shouldn’t be telling you this quite so soon but-’ he lowered his voice ‘-it’s just possible that the series will be turned into a film.’
They both stared at him, dumbstruck.
‘A film?’ Travis whispered.
‘Right. And you’re the leading candidate for the part.’
‘He should be the only candidate,’ Charlene said indignantly. ‘He made it what it is.’
‘And that’s why we’re backing him all the way,’ Joe said. ‘But Alaric Lanley is interested.’
The other two drew sharp breaths. Lanley was a major film star.
‘If he wants it they’ll give it to him,’ Travis said.
‘Not necessarily. Like Charlene says, it’s you that’s associated with the part, and that’s worth money. Have you ever met Alaric, by the way?’
‘Yes, once at a party,’ Travis said. ‘I thought he seemed a nice guy.’
‘Well, don’t let anyone hear you say that,’ Joe said, scandalised. ‘You’re enemies. This is a fight to the death. Give a few interviews saying he’ll steal your role at his peril. Nothing specific. Just some vague showbizzy threats.’
‘Forget it,’ Travis said at once.
‘Look-’
‘I said forget it. Excuse me.’ He leaned sideways to attract the attention of a waitress.
While he was talking to her, Joe growled to Charlene, ‘What can you do with this guy? There are things he just doesn’t understand.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed, ‘being nasty is something he definitely doesn’t understand. Kicking people in the teeth, treating them badly because they’ve treated him badly. Don’t try to change it. It makes him what he is.’
He gave her a look of appreciation. ‘Guess you’re right. Fine,’ he resumed as Travis turned back to them, ‘we’ve got to do some urgent PR work to keep you in front of the public at all times.
‘It helps that we’ve got this big story about the two of you. So far it’s been great. People have seen you in the street, in restaurants. But now we need to direct the public to what we want them to see.’
Charlene knew a moment’s doubt. This almost military planning wasn’t what she had agreed to. But then she saw Travis watching her uneasily, and knew that she had no choice. This was his big chance, and she’d promised to be here for him.
‘Are you up for it?’ Joe asked.
‘Yes,’ she said firmly.
‘Yes,’ Travis said, giving her a look of gratitude.
‘Great. Then let’s make plans.’
‘What about a beach party?’ Travis said. ‘We gather on Venice Beach, swim, romp, dance around.’
‘Great!’ Joe exclaimed. ‘I’ll set it up and let you know.’
So that was that, Travis thought, mentally reclining with a sense of satisfaction. What he knew of Charlene’s body came from sensations. He desperately needed to see the whole of her and marry the feelings up with visions. He’d been racking his brain for a way, and now one had been presented to him. A beach. Charlene in a bathing costume, everything laid out for his delighted inspection.
He knew a faint twinge of guilt. To trick her into displaying her body wasn’t the act of a gentleman.
‘Are you all right with this?’ he asked her anxiously. ‘I know you said yes to help me, but I wouldn’t want to force you into anything.’
A picture swam into Charlene’s vision: Travis as she’d seen him last night, naked but for the tiny trunks, just as he would be again on the beach.
‘I think I can just about endure it,’ she said.
* * *
Joe pursued his plans determinedly, announcing that their theatre seats had been booked for the following night.
‘What’s the show?’ Travis asked.
‘Um…hang on, I’ll check.’
He scanned a newspaper, prompting Travis to ask in an appalled tone, ‘You booked the play without knowing what it was?’
‘It’s a great theatre with a huge box where everyone will see you. What does the play matter? Here we are. Seek the Nightmare.’
They both jumped at the sound of the play that was notorious for being learned and mysterious.
‘It was a big success in the West End of London,’ Joe said. ‘Charlene saw it there and loved it.’
‘I did not,’ she said indignantly. ‘Not my sort of thing at all.’
‘You loved it,’ Joe said firmly. ‘And Travis is taking you to it here as a special treat.’
‘I’m glad you told me,’ Travis said in a faint voice. ‘I don’t have to pretend to like it, do I?’
‘You’ll have to decide whether you’re the gallant chevalier enduring it for the sake of his lady, or the dark-browed intellectual sunk in thought,’ Joe told him.
Travis gave him a look. Charlene covered her quivering lips.
‘And during the interval,’ Joe continued, gathering his things, ‘remember to talk. The press love that because they can imagine what you’re saying, and write the script for themselves. “Has he asked her yet?” That kind of thing. All right, I’m off.’
He left them before either could speculate about what ‘asking her’ might mean.
On the night they wore evening clothes. Around her neck Charlene sported a diamond necklace, bought by the studio and glamorous enough to inspire questions. She didn’t care. The actress in her was enjoying the game. And on her wrist she wore a bracelet, given to her by Travis with the words, ‘I bought you a gift a few days ago but things have been so hectic I didn’t give
it until now.’
He reckoned that explanation would have to do, since he could hardly tell the truth, that it was a replacement for the one he’d had to give Susie to cover his embarrassment.
At the theatre they were applauded in the foyer and again when they made their entrance into the box. The play was officially ‘intellectual’, a dark, soul-searching work that made Charlene want to laugh derisively at its self-indulgence. But Joe was delighted with the reports he’d received from his spy in the stalls.
‘You looked great and you talked to each other, so people could see you interacting,’ he whooped.
‘It’s as well they couldn’t hear the conversation.’ She chuckled when they were alone.
‘Yes, me threatening to leave if it got any more boring, and you promising to wake me up when it was over. That would have given Joe a heart attack.’
‘Never mind. He won’t find out. We’re a team.’
‘Yes,’ he murmured, holding her hand. ‘We are.’
* * *
The arrangements for the party on Venice Beach had been made with detailed precision.
‘It’s a day out for everyone,’ Joe had explained. ‘The whole cast, crew, director, we all decided to treat ourselves to a rest day, and the press just happened to find out. They’ll be watching you two, walking, swimming, eating-whatever.’
‘Are you sure you’re all right with this?’ Travis asked her again as they got ready to leave in the morning. ‘You had an odd look on your face when Joe was describing it.’
‘I was only worried in case I couldn’t measure up.’
‘You’ll measure up. You’re going to be wonderful, because you always are.’
Charlene spoke seriously. ‘I hope I’m everything you want me to be, because I know how much this matters to you. I saw the look on your face too, only it wasn’t a funny look. This was a man full of excitement because he could see the big chance coming up. But he was also just a little afraid in case he couldn’t make the most of it.’
‘How well you understand me.’ Travis sighed. ‘All the shields and defences that fool other people-you just see right through them as though they weren’t there.’ He took both her hands in his and kissed each one lightly. ‘With anyone else that would scare me, but with you I know it’s all right.’ He added wryly, ‘You only got one thing wrong.’