True North

by S.M. Winter

do you mean?” He sat down directly in front of me.

  “Never mind,” I said quickly. “I need to see my nephews. I need to find them.”

  “Ok,” he said. “I’ll go with you.”

  The old insecurities began setting in. The horror of everything that I’d done over the last few days tore at me. My face flamed. I’d basically asked him to have sex with me. He’s seen me naked. I treated these kind people as if they were a means to an end for my sanity. What must they think of me? I needed to leave. Shutting down, I ran from the cave. From Alexandar. He called after me but I didn’t want him to follow. I did my best not to ask my element to work against itself but asked it to keep him from following me at the moment. Just enough to give me a head start.

  I wasn’t very athletic so I needed all the help I could get. When I felt the now familiar sweat on my back, I thanked the element and let it know I was fine now. This time I could feel the severing of energy. It was a physical pull, like slack on a rope. I could feel it around me now that I was looking for it. Instead of being anchored, I now had room to move. I ran as far as I could for as long as I could. The physical exertion had my skin damp again, but it was a different kind of sweat, born from work rather than pain. Exhausted, I sat under a tree. My lungs burned with the pressure from running. I gulped air, trying to calm myself. The pain in my muscles and lungs seemed so real. But how was that possible? How was all of this real? It couldn’t be. But what other explanation did I have?

  Maybe the problem wasn’t that this might be real, but that I wanted nothing more than for this to be reality. I wanted to be special. I wanted to be loved. I wanted friends who liked me for me. That’s why this couldn’t possibly be real. I wanted this too much and it was exactly what I needed to overcome my grief.

  “Of course it’s not real,” a hissing voice came from above me.

  Looking up I saw movement on one of the branches. It moved like a snake but as it came closer, wrapping its long sinewy body around the tree, I could see that it had patterns like a patchwork quilt, eyes that glowed bright blue and sharp, dagger looking teeth. Its tongue, as it flicked in and out, looked like a human’s split in two and extended.

  “Why would you think anyone could like you?” It hissed out a chuckle.

  I scrambled back from the tree as it attempted to wrap around my shoulder.

  “What are you?” I shuddered as it flicked its disgustingly out of place tongue at me between the sharp teeth.

  “I’m a friend who wants to tell you the truth,” it hissed.

  “A friend?” I scoffed.

  “Yesssss,” it said. “I’m just confirming what you already think. Why would he love you? It must be fake. It’s either staged or someone is attempting to undermine your credibility. Think of all your scholastic work, down the drain.”

  The true echo of my thoughts was unnerving.

  “I worked so hard,” I said as if in a trance.

  “You sacrificed so much to be more than you were,” it hissed hypnotically. “And now the universe wants to give you everything for nothing? Unlikely.”

  “Yes, unlikely,” I repeated. My head was fuzzy and its body looked so comfortable. The patchwork quilt slithered closer and wrapped around me, and squeezed me like a comforting hug.

  “No!” The trance was broken as the teeth grew larger, directly in front of my face.

  Alexandar jumped from the surrounding foliage and grabbed my ankle as I tumbled backward. I fell and swung from the edge of the world. I looked around me and screamed. There was nothing. No ground, no sky. It was a sea of clouds. As I swung upside down the snake-thing squeezed harder and opened its jaws again. A rock came zooming out of nowhere and hit the back of its neck, knocking it loose. The thing screamed a very human sounding scream and dropped away like fog in the night. I watched as it swirled downward toward the clouds.

  Alexandar struggled to pull me upward. My head hit dirt behind me as he attempted to swing me. I saw behind me that there was a giant mountain of dirt, as if someone had pulled this jungle forest up by its roots, just like a clump of grass.

  “A little help please?” Alexandar huffed.

  “Right,” I said. Using the current air around me, I thought about it changing direction just enough to help rather than hinder his attempted rescue.

  Suddenly, I was thrust upward and into Alexandar. We slid backward on the dirt with another oof.

  “Are you ok?” Alexandar asked quickly. He patted down my body as I lay on top of him, looking for breaks.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “Thank you.”

  “Good,” he said, his face changing from worry to rage in the blink of an eye. “Because I’m going to beat you senseless.”

  He pushed up and took me with him. Pulling my arm we moved away from the edge of the world. I looked back wistfully, wishing I could study it.

  “Where are we?” I asked. “I just thought we were underground somewhere.”

  “Our Sanctuary,” he said.

  “It’s a floating island?” I asked.

  “In a way,” he said.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, pulling back slightly.

  “You need a crash course in how to defend yourself,” he said then looked back for a moment. “And I’m going to give it to you.”

  He was swearing in a language I didn’t understand, a long unbroken stream of muttered curses. The tone and tenor lent to the idea that they were swears with the way they spat out of his mouth. Occasionally he would look back at me and ask me a question in that same language as if I were going to answer. When I didn’t the swearing would start again.

  Alexandar pulled me toward the hatch. As we neared it I wondered how he expected to climb the ladder while keeping hold of my hand. My question was answered when he opened the hatch one handed then proceeded to pick me up and jump down the hole. I didn’t even have time to scream - immediately we came into contact with solid ground. After he secured the hatch we lowered like an elevator until we hit the bottom. The ground at the bottom was completely unbroken, as if there hadn’t been a little earthen elevator just seconds ago. Without pause Alexandar continued on his quest. Still cursing, though it seemed like he was losing steam, we walked a short time before entering a bedroom.

  After closing and locking the door he finally freed my hand and continued to pace. He ran his hand through his hair, making it even more disheveled. The loose curls began to poke out at odd angles and it made me smile to watch him trying to reign in his frustration.

  “What?” Alexandar halted abruptly and stared at me.

  “Um...” I tried to hide my smile, but failed miserably.

  “You think this is funny?” He asked, walking toward until his face was right next to mine. “You think that this is a joke?”

  “No,” I sobered. “I was just wondering if maybe your element should have been fire, since your temper seems hard for you to control.”

  “Well,” he said losing his bite. “It’s not. Do you know what could have happened up there? You don’t do you. Do you even think it’s real?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  That seemed to make him pause.

  “You do?” He asked.

  “Yes,” I huffed out a breath. “I’ve accepted my situation. But that means I need to find my nephews, they could be in danger.”

  “Ok, then,” he said, then seemed to hesitate. “Is it because we....”

  “No. The deciding factor was that... thing. It was trying so hard to convince me that this wasn’t real. If I were in a delusion because I needed a mental break, why would an enemy tell me my experiences were false? In reality I would trust no one but my sister telling me something wasn’t real,” I told him. “That snake thing telling me that all my worst fears were real, was what tipped the scales for me.”

  “Well,” Alexandar seemed slightly disappointed.

  “I apologize for my convoluted explanation,” I shrugged. “It is difficult to explain my thought process.”

  If I
still believed I was delusional I would have told him our kiss had been a tipping point for me and that I’d never felt like this before with anyone because I was inexperienced. But I knew it was all real now so the old doubts began cramming themselves in. I cleared my throat and shifted awkwardly.

  “Once you’ve mastered protecting yourself, then we can go see your nephews,” he said.

  “Mhmm,” I said absently.

  I knew that my focus should be on my nephews, but I was having trouble concentrating at his nearness. I wished longingly for the strength to tell him how I felt. I could see myself slipping back into the mousey shell and I loathed it. How was I supposed to act now? I had other people’s feelings to consider. I just really wanted to tell him how attractive his messy hair was, how much I wanted to fix it and run my own hands through it. How much I wanted to kiss him. The fear I would feel at his inevitable rejection when he found someone else better, prettier, and more confident than me.

  I looked up from my own musings to see him studying me.

  “What?” I demanded more forcefully than I’d meant. I was just so frustrated at myself.

  “Why are you angry?” Alexandar’s brows drew together.

  “I’m not angry,” I huffed. Crossing my arms I noticed a smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

  “What’s funny?” I wanted to know. His obvious amusement at the situation was pushing my buttons and I didn’t like being laughed at.

  “Nothing,” he coughed trying to cover his laughter. “Nothing.”

  “There seems to be something tickling your