True North

by S.M. Winter

logical reason to be hurt but my throat began to close and my eyes stung.

  “Don’t you want me?” I shuddered as tears leaked out against my will.

  “You don’t know how much,” the seriousness was back and I ached for the light hearted Alexandar I had just seen. “Answer the question.”

  “What question?” I swiped at my eyes.

  “Did you ever go partying?”

  “No,” I answered confused. “Of course not. I didn’t have time for frivolities while I was getting my Doctorate.”

  “Have you ever been with anyone before?”

  “No,” dread tickled the back of my throat. “Why?”

  “Let me finish,” he sighed. “Have you ever been on a date before?”

  “No,” I looked down at my hands in the water.

  “Before me,” he paused. “Had you ever been kissed?”

  “Not the way I wanted,” the tears leaked freely as shame overwhelmed me.

  “Look at me,” he walked closer.

  I refused to let him see the tears he’d caused, but he took my chin and forced me to look up anyway.

  “I want more than just a heavy make out session from this,” he told me. “I want to know you.”

  My heart stuttered in my chest at his words. No one had ever wanted to know me.

  “I want to take you on a date,” Alexandar smiled at me. “I want to court you. So stop making it so damn hard on me.”

  I let out a choked laugh and the tears ran free as he gently kissed me. Then he picked me up and took me out of the pool to dry off. I wasn’t sure how to respond to what I’d just been told. Court me? I’d never been courted. I’d always been the weird girl who was too smart. Boys had flirted with me when they wanted something. There had even been a boy who’d kissed me sloppily. That hadn’t ended well when I asked him about his kissing technique. I’d only wanted to learn, but he didn’t see it that way.

  I leaned my head on his shoulder as set me down. The scent from his skin was intoxicating. Because of the water currently smelled like freshly mowed grass after a rainstorm.

  “What do I smell like?” I asked him.

  He set me down and handed me a towel as he chuckled.

  “Right now?” He asked and I nodded as I dried off. “A spring breeze blowing through a field of dandelions.”

  “Dandelions?” I smiled. “What do they smell like?”

  “Exactly like you,” he leaned in and kissed me lightly.

  I frowned as something niggled at my memory then was gone again. Then my thoughts turned to the reason I’d come to find him.

  “You know,” I began as we walked out of the cavern. “Chauncy and Valerie think we can end the Void.”

  “Really?” Alexandar laughed. “How is that?”

  “If we destroy all its agents it should take on a human form to pass on information,” I said.

  “It does that?” He wondered.

  “That is the current working theory,” I nodded. “Obviously we will need to test it.”

  He stopped and I realized my mistake.

  “We have to kill all of the Agents for that to happen,” he stated hollowly.

  “Yes,” I said. “She’s not your sister anymore.”

  “How do you know that?” He said. “She spared our lives last time.”

  “And in the same breath threatened to kill us the next time she saw us,” I lifted my brows at him.

  “She’s probably bluffing,” he started moving again and pushed past me.

  The air of easy camaraderie was gone and I sighed.

  “But what if she’s not?” I asked. “Would you test it with our lives?”

  “No,” he slowed.

  “We will take this one step at a time,” I told him. “Besides, I still need to learn how to fight.”

  “True,” he said, tongue in cheek. “And that could take some time.”

  I punched him while he laughed.

  The next few days were rigorous. Strength training, endurance training and lastly mental fortitude. The day would always start with Alexandar meeting me at the door of my room, both hands behind his back.

  “Pick a hand,” he would say.

  Each day I would pick the same hand and each day there was nothing in it. He would laugh and ask why I didn’t pick the other hand.

  “Perseverance,” I would reply. “Why is there nothing in your hand?”

  He would just laugh and our day would begin. It was an odd but comforting routine. My muscles began to firm and my body became hard where it used to be soft. I wondered at the little dips and ridges that were taking shape. Once a week we would visit the boys, who always stood in stoic silence. Tad was usually the one to break and give me a hug and chatter on about his classes and the other children. Thomas would just nod or shake his head when spoken to. The only time he would make eye contact with me was when we were leaving and there were times that I wish it were otherwise. As soon as I would stand to leave or begin to say my goodbyes, his eyes locked on mine. There was a type of horrified betrayal locked within them, a kindling rage simmering before true ignition. His eyes would not leave mine until I closed the door behind me and I felt like I could breathe again. Every stare was a screaming accusation, telling me I was an awful person for leaving him there. Then one day he refused to see me.

  Miss Wolfe said that he was fine and healthy but it was in his best interest to discontinue visiting. I didn’t know what to say. I still visited like clockwork, hoping he would come around. Every time I walked in, though I was happy that Tad would run and greet me, I wondered what Thomas was doing and how he was.

  As soon as I left after every visit I would remember that I had meant to ask about the financial aid I’d received for college. Then it was back to training. I was happy that there was little time to dwell on the situation. Finally, a day came that was different.

  “Pick one,” Alexandar said.

  I picked his other hand. I was annoyed enough with this game to pick something else. When he opened his hand he smiled at my confused frown. His hand was empty.

  “You’re ready,” he said, then abruptly turned and left.

  “Wait,” I hurried after him. “What am I ready for?”

  “Something new,” he chuckled.

  When we entered the training room he didn’t wait until I got to the mat before attacking.

  “Keep up your guard,” he yelled at me, it had become a familiar anthem. “They won’t let you rest and now neither will I.”

  His punch came at my face quickly, which I dodged, but then his legs swept out and my feet were knocked from under me. I hit the ground hard and missed the mat. My backside ached but there was no time to think. Alexandar came in quickly from above and I just narrowly rolled out of the way before his fit hit the ground. To my horror the ground caved where he punched. He was using his element.

  “That’s not fair,” my heart was beating in my throat. “You still haven’t taught me how to fight with my element yet.”

  “Figure it out,” was all he said before coming after me again.

  I watched him as he moved. He seemed to use small things around him to give his punches, kicks, and even his movements, just a bit more of a boost. As I retreated he launched himself toward me. The very ground aided his movements; a push here, a brake there. It made them more fluid and solid at the same time. I’d watched a ballet once that had similar fluidity, though I doubted he would appreciate the comparison. By the time I’d finished the thought, I was back on my feet and he was hurdling toward me.

  I threw up a wall of air just to give me a second but he blew through it, knocking me to the ground where he kneeled on my stomach painfully. I’d never seen him so focused before. His fist came flying at my face then whooshed to a stop, blowing the hair back from my face with the near impact. The tip of my nose was brushing his knuckle.

  “You need to be ready,” he huffed and stood up. “They won’t stop.”

  “What’s going on?” I struggle
d to my feet. “What’s happened?”

  “We got word that the Agents attempted to get to the Warren,” he stretched his neck. “The boys are safe and the warren has moved, but this is a first.”

  “Do you think they followed us somehow?” My mind was reeling.

  “It’s a possibility,” he nodded. “So we need to find out how they’re following us. Plug the leak, so to speak.”

  “We may need to spend time in those tunnels,” I agreed. “We could try and draw them out.”

  “Hmm,” Alexandar’s brows furrowed as he thought it over. I could tell a plan was forming.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked.

  “A work in progress,” he smiled. “Now tell me what you learned.”

  We worked for the rest of the day. I found practical applications for my element while I was fighting. Ways that took little to no energy and boosted my movements. It was rocky going at first. There was a time I fell on my face, attempting to aid a jump. I gave myself just a little too much push and tripped over my own feet. Alexandar had laughed a long time before we got started again. My heart had done backflips. Even though that laughter had been at my expense it was a heart stopping experience and I loved every minute of it.

  It helped that after he laughed he would hug me. Not an arm around the shoulder hug but a full body squeeze that had my head spinning. It told me that there was no negative intent with his laughter, just a shared experience and reassurance. I had experienced enough taunting laughter in my life to see the difference clearly, and it meant the world.

  After we were done for the day I wondered when he would start courting me. It had been a few weeks since the conversation in the hot springs. Every day that