“Oh gosh,” she said. “That feels… so good. I feel like I could go just like this. It’s already building.”
He started to move, slowly sliding back, and her nails gripped his back as if trying to keep him there.
“Trust me,” he said, sliding smoothly back in. She moaned as he settled deep inside her again, easier this time. A perfect fit. She writhed, moving her hips and encouraging him to go faster.
Her eyes were glazed with pleasure, her body eager. And now that his mate was fully into it, he could think about just how much this felt like heaven for him.
He’d never felt anything like it, and he knew he never would again.
Not just the physical sensation of being inside her, which was amazing and more pleasurable than he’d ever imagined, but the experience of looking into her eyes, feeling her hands on him, her body welcoming him, every part of her accepting him at her most vulnerable.
He’d always protect her.
He started to move again, and she wrapped her legs fully around him and started to thrust tentatively against him, getting bolder as he felt the tension in her body.
He bit the inside of his cheek as he felt the fire building inside him. He wouldn’t go like some teenager during his first time with his mate. Never.
He told himself to think of something unsexy, like cucumbers, but all that came to mind was Stacy running those sexy lips seductively over a cucumber. Lightning kept moving through him, and he bit down harder, focusing on her eyes, which were becoming more and more overwhelmed. Wider and wider, staring at him with almost fear, as if she didn’t know what to expect.
He played harder with his finger, circling and teasing and pressing and playing as their thrusting grew more frantic. He gave up on thinking of anything but her and just trusted his body to care more for his mate than himself.
After all, there was a deep well of affection in him that seemed to overflow where she was concerned. He did like people in general. He was a nice guy.
But his general care of the world was nothing compared to the searing, all-consuming love he felt for his mate.
Looking into her eyes, lush and dark, shaded by long lashes, he badly wanted to tell her.
Instead, he simply moved his finger over her center a final time, grinning as her body tightened in release. He felt her clench around him, and he immediately let himself go with her, waves of energy crashing through him as he called out her name, feeling her nails in his back again.
What would it be like when there was nothing between them? When she was fully his? He didn’t think he could comprehend anything that wonderful.
“Stacy,” he said hoarsely, pushing her hair back and kissing her face as her hands ran along his shoulders, her body still shuddering from orgasm. “I love you.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. She didn’t say it back, but just being there was enough. Listening to him with her body still warm and around him. She buried her head in his shoulder, and he didn’t know what to make of that, but he just held her there against him, treasuring the moment.
He’d told her how he felt. Now he just had to wait and see if she could one day feel the same.
She fell asleep in his arms, and he stayed awake for a long moment because he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.
12
Fire burned all around her, singeing the hairs on her arms as she ran through the trees. She wasn’t strong enough to shift, not pureblooded enough, and she couldn’t hear her parents over the sounds of screaming in the forest.
She flipped around at the sound of twigs snapping loudly behind her, stifling a scream as a man prowled out of the darkness, wearing a mask.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” he said, walking forward. He looked like he was young, just barely grown, but the menacing growl in his voice made her want to turn and run.
But she knew she was only twelve; he’d catch her for sure. She took a step forward and tripped over a branch, landing on her butt with a yelp.
“You’re a pretty little thing,” he said, coming closer as he scented the air. “Too bad you aren’t a pureblood or you could grow up right.”
She didn’t even care about his insult. She was too worried for her family. Where were her parents? The fire was blazing around them, and she could hear shouts, see shadows running through the forest, chased by other shadows. Some of them lions.
She didn’t know why this was happening now. It was supposed to be a happy day. The current royal family in power had come to visit, and she and the other kids had been wowed by the princes. Especially the girls, as all the young princes were handsome.
But they’d never had trouble in their village before. She knew there were fights on the island. She’d heard her parents talking about it. But she’d never known something as scary as this could happen. Not in a peaceful town like hers.
She heard a click and saw the man in front of her holding up a gun. She squeaked as she tried to scramble back. He aimed at her, and she’d never seen anything as scary in her life.
His dark hair flew in the wind that fanned the wildfire, and she let out a scream for help, one she knew might be the last of her life.
But just as he pulled back the hammer, she saw a golden blur, lit in shades of orange and red from the flames of the wildfire, come speeding out of the forest to knock the man over as a gunshot rang out through the forest.
She scrambled up, breathing heavily, readying herself to run, and then realized the lion who’d helped her was a smaller one. He was still struggling to pin down the man who’d attacked her, while he waved his gun.
She heard cursing and the name of the royal family. Had they brought this trouble here? She thought of her family. Were they all all right? The wildfire had broken out close to their house, and when her father had heard there were men in the forest, he’d been one of the first to volunteer.
She heard snarls and ripping as the man and the lion scuffled in the clearing. She loved her family, but if only she was able to shift, too. Then she’d be safer now, able to run faster.
She heard a shriek from the man on the ground, and then he was still. The lion looked at her with eyes that reflected the red all around them.
“Get on me,” he growled, walking forward. Not knowing what else to do, she did. He was small for a shifter lion, because they were giant, but he was still plenty big for her to ride on as a twelve-year-old.
She hung on tight to his half-formed mane, and he ran her back in the direction of the town. When he got to the edge of the forest, he set her down, and she saw her aunt and uncle waiting with a group of people, all calling into the trees. All looking singed.
Her aunt ran forward and grabbed her into her arms, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Oh, thank heavens,” she said, pushing Stacy’s hair back.
“Where are my parents?” Stacy sobbed, ignoring the lion as he slunk back into the forest. “Where are my mom and dad?”
Her uncle just looked down at her like he was caught in a crossfire and had no way to move.
She threw back her head and let out a scream. Somehow, she’d already known. The minute they disappeared into the forest. She turned and wanted to run back into the fire, but her uncle caught her around the waist, putting his hand over her hair and soothing her.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay.”
“It’s never going to be okay again,” she screamed. “Not ever again!” She sank to her knees, and her eyes caught sight of the lion disappearing back into the forest. “Why did this have to happen.?”
Her uncle sneered, bitterness written all over his face. “Pureblood lions. Competitors for the throne. At least quite a few of them could shift. The royals must have drawn them here. Then they left us for dead. They didn’t care what would happen. Thanks to men like your dad, who were willing to fight, we’ve mostly chased them off now.”
She clutched onto her uncle as rage burned inside her. Suddenly, the handsome, seemingly kind faces of the royal
s she’d met earlier that day made her feel nothing but hatred.
They were cowards. Men who felt nothing but the urge to rule over others and who didn’t care what happened to them.
She tightened her small hands as the lion who had helped her was swallowed by the smoke. Whoever that was, he’d had the goodness to at least help a child during the melee. It was more than she could say for the royals, who’d disappeared without a trace.
She put her face in her hands and wept for her life, which would never be the same after this terrible, fire-filled night.
Stacy sat up gasping, reached up, and felt the fresh tears on her cheeks as a result of the nightmare. It’d been so long since she had a nightmare like that. So long since she remembered. She’d left the island with its random violence and moved somewhere safe so she’d never have to feel that way again. And now the island had brought that violence back to her.
Was this the clear message she’d been hoping for? Was this the sign that she shouldn’t accept him after all?
She put her hand to her forehead and looked down at Beau, sound asleep beside her. She couldn’t resist reaching out to touch his hair. It wasn’t his fault he was part of all this. But she had no doubt that finally being intimate with him had triggered the nightmare. It was like her past, her parents were telling her not to betray them. Like it or not, his family and their carelessness had resulted in a lot of death that fateful summer night. There hadn’t again been a conflict like that for years. But it would only be a matter of time.
And if she stayed in Beau’s life, she’d be a part of that. Aligned with the people who ruled over others, supposedly for their own good, while leaving them alone to face their enemies. She really liked Beau. She was coming to care for him. But she just couldn’t let go of everything else. She just couldn’t let go of that night. Not if it was going to haunt her every time she got close.
She touched Beau’s shoulder, and he stirred but didn’t wake. She looked out the window to see the moonlight shining bright over the lands.
He had such a beautiful life. He’d be fine without her. Like she’d had to be fine without her parents.
Her heart ached. It would always ache with a hole that could never be filled. And how would they forgive her if she stayed with the person that caused that hole, no matter how charming he was? Perhaps if she turned him down, the oracle could choose another for him.
She wrapped her arms around her knees and let out a quiet sob, surprised when that seemed to wake him immediately. Like he was closely attuned to her. He sat up, rubbing groggy eyes, and gave her an odd glare, trying to figure out what was going on. When he realized she was crying, he quickly gathered her into his arms, holding her on his lap.
It felt so good there. With him, she hadn’t felt alone anymore. It was just messed up that it had to be him she was falling for. And that she couldn’t forget or forgive that night in the forest. She couldn’t align herself with a family that let others shed blood for their power. Maybe he wasn’t even aware just how dangerous they were in their thoughtlessness. He remembered the fight of the windless summer. Though oddly enough, the wind had kicked up during the wildfire, making everything worse.
But did he know what she’d lost? Did he know his family was partly responsible?
“I had a dream about the fight of the windless summer.”
His arms were tight around her, his hair falling over his eyes in the moonlight. His eyes were slightly lined from sleep, and he was quiet, just waiting for her to go on.
“I haven’t dreamed about it in a long time,” she said. “I’m a full-grown woman. I hate feeling like a helpless kid again.”
“I have a hard time believing you were helpless, even as a kid,” he said.
She shrugged weakly, not knowing what to say. There was no easy way to do this. “My parents died that night.”
He was quiet at that. Totally still. Then he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Are you, though?” she asked, looking up at him, trying to picture his handsome face in tandem with that horrifying moment. “Because it was because of you that it happened. Your family at least.”
He tilted his head, his arms slowly releasing. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean,” she said. “If it wasn’t for your family, that night wouldn’t have happened.”
His expression went dark. “Wait. So you’re mad at my family for what happened that night?” He shook his head. “Not the others?”
“You drew them in,” she said. “And then you weren’t there to deal with the consequences.”
“Hm.” He appeared uncharacteristically cold. “You’ve got it all figured out then, do you? Remember it all perfectly?”
“I remember blood and fire. Screaming. And a life that was ruined after that night.”
“Your life isn’t ruined,” he said. “You’re here, aren’t you? You have friends that love you, a good life.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Wait, so you blame me for killing your parents, yet you’ve still tried to date me?” He was incredulous, but it did nothing to stop the numbness she felt about the whole situation.
“I told you I was wary. I told you I didn’t think it would work. Something about being with you made me forget at first. Made me think things could work. Until my dream tonight. Until I remembered the connection of it all. I knew I felt bitter about that summer and about your family, but I didn’t remember what my uncle had said. About it being your fault.”
He folded his arms and sat apart from her. “And that’s it? You’re going to just take that as law and not even ask me what I think? What I saw happen?”
“You weren’t even there,” she said.
He frowned. “I’m a little tired of you making assumptions about me. It hurts, considering how hard I’ve tried to win you. How open I’ve been about showing you my life. But really, you don’t trust me at all, do you? Have you really been getting to know me at all?”
She blinked.
His lip curled. “Or is it just attraction that made you take me inside you last night. Are you secretly just as into Beau Hunt, sexy rock star, as every other woman? My bad for thinking you were different.”
She slapped him, and his eyes flashed, but he stayed deadly still.
She climbed out of his bed, and he didn’t try to stop her.
“If you had these reservations, why did we go that far?” he asked, shaking his head.
“I told you I wasn’t sure,” she replied, her hand on the doorknob. If only he could be from another family. Or just be less thoughtless. If only things were different. But she’d been stupid for agreeing to this at all.
“I just… If you really thought I was that kind of monster, that I’d done so much wrong to you, I wish you’d just stuck with your no,” he said, his handsome face twisted cruelly. “At least then you would have fucked up a whole country, but you wouldn’t have fucked up my heart.”
That stabbed at her because deep down, she knew it was true. This wasn’t fair to him, going along with it, falling for him, and letting him fall for her. Letting them both head for mating if she really was this sure they couldn’t work.
But she’d tried to make it work. She just wasn’t strong enough to fight the past. Deep inside, she was still a scared, twelve-year-old girl who didn’t want to fall for the royals and then get betrayed and lose everything because of them again.
“I should go,” she said. “Don’t worry about the donation.”
He got up with a huff and went to the desk, opening it sharply. She flinched at the crack of wood as he slammed a checkbook down on the table.
All of his easy charm was gone. He scribbled a signature and then tossed a check at her. It fluttered to the ground and landed between them.
“Aren’t you being a little immature about this?” she asked as she bent to pick it up.
He stared at her, aghast. So handsome even when he was angry. His body looked bigger when he was tense an
d upset and his arms were folded tightly. “What do you expect me to be? I went to sleep after the happiest moment of my life. After telling you I loved you. And I wake up to you telling me I’m a monster. That I’m convicted without a trial and you’re leaving. That I never had a chance to convince you otherwise, ever. I guess I just hate that you let me fall in love with you.”
“Oh, come on,” she said wryly. “You thought you were in love the moment you saw me.”
“More fool me,” he said flatly, leaning against the window.
It hurt that he couldn’t be more understanding. That he couldn’t comfort her about that night or tell her it was all right. But apparently, he had his own demons, and they were coming out as well.
“I wouldn’t leave until after the challenge tomorrow,” he said. “It’s not safe.” His lip curled. “But don’t worry. I won’t bother you after it’s done. You’ll be free to go back to your life, and I’ll… figure out something.”
She frowned, not knowing what to say.
“You know, no one in my life has ever really tried to get to know me,” he said. “I never thought it was lonely before. I just knew I was meant for a different life than others. But now, having you look at me like that, I think it’s horrible.”
“You weren’t the one who lost her parents. You weren’t the one nearly dying in a fire,” she said. “You were somewhere else, warm in bed.”
“Have you never listened when I’ve told you my feelings on royalty?” he asked. “That leadership comes with responsibility to protect those around you, even at great cost?”
Something in her tingled nervously at that, but she brushed it off. She could still almost smell smoke in her nostrils. She could still hear the echoing screams.
“You think I don’t know what it’s like to be lonely? You took my family,” she said.
He folded his arms tighter. “What do you want me to do about it? What exactly were you expecting to happen by telling me? You’ve already made up your mind about it. You want me to put my arms around you and tell you it’s fine that you’ve completely misunderstood me?”
King of Rock (Lions of Pride Island Book 1) Page 10