He tore at his hair with his hands, and she felt a sudden urge to go to him but held herself back.
“I’ve been completely open to you,” he said. “You never intended to be open to me, did you?”
“I just told you about my parents,” she said.
“To tell me why you can’t be with me. To tell me why you won’t give me a chance,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. He paced in front of the window in agitation.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
He eyed her warily. “Don’t worry about it. You hate the island anyway, right? After all, my family is the worst thing there. Who cares if we fall out of power? Who cares if we die?”
Where did that come from? Her heart ached again, a throbbing pain that wasn’t going to get better. The thought of leaving him was heartbreaking, especially in the state he was in.
He let out a long breath, coming back to himself again, though his voice was dull. “Just go,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Finish the challenge, and then you can move on and forget all the unpleasantness. I’m sorry for taking so much of your time.”
She opened the door and walked out into the empty foyer lit by sparkling moonlight, vacant and cold.
She was sad over how things had gone. Of all the reactions she’d expected, she hadn’t counted on that one. Perhaps he’d always been so patient, so easy with a smile for anyone who needed one, that she hadn’t realized there was a person with his own pains underneath.
She’d been selfish. She knew that. But so had he. And he would continue to be because that’s what royals did. They came into your life when it suited them and turned it upside down. It was no different than when he’d popped up to invite her to the concert and then bribe her to come to his mansion.
She really did care for him. She’d never forget their days together.
But it just wasn’t possible to have long-term happiness with someone who’d taken so much from her.
Sometime, someday, it would have to fail. As she walked up the stairs to her room, she had to wonder…
What was the oracle thinking?
13
The next day at breakfast was incredibly awkward. Stacy ate her toast and tried not to think about what was coming. First a challenge, which she saw as totally pointless, and then leaving Beau Hunt behind for good.
The latter was easier simply because he already seemed like he’d written her off. Just closed off his heart and stopped considering her. It felt oddly bleak and cold, like she hadn’t realized just how much she cared until it was cut off abruptly.
But there was nothing she could do about it now. The memories were still fresh in her mind. Being with him had awakened them, and they couldn’t go back in the dark.
And her parents would never forgive her. No matter how hot or how sweet Beau was.
If only that summer night hadn’t happened, she probably would have thought she was the luckiest girl in the world if the oracle had chosen her for Beau. He would have just been the handsome boy that visited her school with his family.
Instead, life had to go and get all complicated.
She sighed as she slumped over one hand, and he glanced over at her. When she looked over, he turned away, trying to look like he’d been paying any attention.
“So when is he set to arrive?” she asked.
“Anytime now,” he replied.
“Are you ready?” she asked because she didn’t know what else to say.
“As ready as I can be,” he said. At her concerned expression, he shook his head. He pulled a couple bobby pins out of one pocket and pinned his hair back in a somewhat comical style. “What I mean is I’m ready to fight. I’m not ready for all of this to be over, but I know it has to be.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
He looked over at her, and the resigned guise in his gorgeous blue eyes still took away her breath. “I mean there’s a lot you don’t know about me. Stuff you’ll never know. But that doesn’t matter because, as far as you’re concerned, you’ll never be happy with me.
“I guess I felt lucky that the person I was paired up with was also someone I really respected and enjoyed. But it wasn’t the same for you. So even if the country wants it, it doesn’t override the needs and wants of even one person. We all should get to choose who we’re with. So even if I would have still chosen you, if you can’t choose me without it bringing unhappiness, then that’s that. But I will miss you, Stacy.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” she said, feeling a hollow echo in her heart that emphasized how much she meant it. “I’m sorry if I was rough last night. It’s been a confusing week. But after the dream…”
He waved a hand. “I get it. It was only a matter of time. You never liked me anyway.”
“Now that’s a little self-pitying,” she muttered.
He shrugged. “It’s all on the table now. You’d never have even given me a chance without the money. And it makes sense. You think I’m the reason you lost your parents. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make you think terrible things.”
She just stared at him, unsure where he was going with this.
“And I deserve someone who wants to really get to know me,” he said.
“I did get to know you,” she argued. “I know you weren’t responsible for before. You were young, like me. But it doesn’t change that you’re still going along with your family. That you’re still aligned with them. One day, you will be responsible.”
“I’m responsible now,” he grated out, standing and rolling up the sleeves on the button-up shirt he was wearing in the cool spring air. “I’m always responsible. Even when I hate it.”
The doorbell rang, sounding through the house in a clear, singsong melody.
“Ah, and now I have to be responsible again,” he said. “And save your ass.” He looked her over. “Though, I admit I’d do this regardless of responsibility, given my feelings for you.”
A twinge of something that made her nervous moved through her. Was she making a mistake? Just one fight and then he was out of her life. According to him. Even if she tried to go against everything she believed in, she didn’t think he would let her.
She couldn’t go back and change the past, no matter how much she wanted to.
“For what it’s worth, Beau, I do appreciate who you are as a person. You’re a wonderful lover and friend and good to everyone around you. Everything you showed me was amazing. And I’m sorry I judged you before. I’m sorry it all worked out like this.”
He just nodded, his blond hair bouncing as he walked inside toward the front door. She ran to catch up with him and tugged on his sleeve.
Close to him like that, she was too aware of just how big he was.
His eyes were patient as whispered down at her. “What is it?”
“If you could do something for me,” she said. “Don’t make it too violent. I hate to see you that way, over me. And be careful.”
He put a hand over hers, gave it a little squeeze, and then nodded and opened the door.
Three men stood on the porch, one in the middle who was slightly in front of the others and two men that looked like his lackeys.
Rick Forrester. She’d recognized him when Beau had said the name when the challenge had first come. At least she knew the family name as one who’d been trying to challenge Beau’s family for some time.
“Beau,” Rick said. He had shoulder-length black hair and tanned skin, with silky green eyes. But when he looked her over, she felt nothing but disgust. “Ah, the oracle pick. Unexpectedly low-blooded, don’t you think?” he asked Beau.
Beau put an arm protectively around her. “If you think so, you’re welcome to withdraw your challenge before I gut you.”
Rick’s eyes widened, and he tilted his head. Then he put up one long finger, wagging it. “Tch, tch,” he said. “Not what I expected from a prince. Lowly threats.”
“You insult my mate again and I’ll show you how low I can get.”
The men on either side of Rick cracked their knuckles, but Rick held up a hand, signaling them to stop. “Fair enough. Shall we go out back for the challenge?”
When Beau nodded, Rick strode into the house like he owned it, and his lackeys followed.
For someone who was letting her go, Beau sure had slipped easily back into calling her his mate and standing up for her like they were still together.
She looked over to see him checking his bobby pins. “I didn’t know you wore those.”
“I want my hair back, just in case.”
“What about when you shift?”
“They’ll fall off. But until then, if he makes any sketchy moves, my hair won’t be in the way. After all, it is a little better for winning over ladies than it is for fighting.”
She put her hands on his shirtsleeves, pulling him back. “Are you really going to be okay? You’re a rock star. Not a fighter.”
“Are you saying I can’t fight for you?” he asked.
“I’m saying you don’t have to. After all, I’m letting you down.”
He snorted. “I wish you could just understand me. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes and hurt people sometimes. But I’m not a monster. And I don’t shirk my duty when it comes to protecting someone.” His eyes grew serious. “No matter the cost to me.”
She bit her lip. She did understand him. His need to protect and do the right thing. It was one of the things she loved about him.
Loved.
Her jaw dropped as he strode forward to the backyard where the challenge would take place.
Did she love him? Could that happen in only a few days? She felt her heart pounding hard as she walked out onto the veranda that overlooked where the men would be fighting.
Based on the way she felt her whole world would collapse if he was hurt, she thought maybe she did.
One of the lackeys called the start of the fight, and in the privacy of the backyard, with no one but her watching from only twenty feet away, the two men shifted.
The fight had begun.
14
Stacy gripped the marble railing in front of her as the two giant lions paced. It was easy to tell who was who. Beau’s lion was larger, more golden, with flashes of light golds throughout. He was beautiful… and somehow familiar. She didn’t know how, though…
Rick’s lion was a dark toffee color with streaks of black, like his hair. His posture was menacing, where Beau looked merely bored and impatient.
Clearly, he didn’t think the other man posed any challenge. Or maybe it was a bluff. Nonetheless, she hoped he’d be careful.
Rick laughed as he paced around Beau, who stayed still, tracking him with his eyes. “Not in the mood to fight?” he asked. “The bloodlust is already running in my veins. Aren’t you a lion?”
“I don’t feel any bloodlust,” Beau said, his lion mouth twisting. “Just minor disgust.”
“Not even when I’m threatening your mate?”
“Make that major disgust,” Beau corrected. “Hatred, even. But I’m not going to relish hurting you.”
“That’s what your family’s all about, isn’t it?” Rick said, sneering. “Gentle protectors, watching out for the weak and helpless, never telling them what you’re doing. Isn’t that right?”
Beau frowned.
“I mean, does anyone even know your dad’s dead? Your mom, too?” He threw back his head and laughed, and Stacy gasped, clutching the rail. Was that true?
“Your mate looks shocked,” Rick said as Beau went deadly still. “Still doing what you want and keeping the common people out of the loop?”
“My mate isn’t common,” he said. “The only thing common is assholes like you who think they run the earth when they aren’t fit to stand on it.”
Rick snarled and curled into an attack pose, digging his claws into the grass. “Show me.”
“I want different rules,” Beau said. “Not to the death. Just ‘til one yields to the other.”
Rick laughed. “I don’t agree. You leave me living, and I’ll challenge you again and again. When did you become such a pussy?”
Beau cocked his head. “When I was born a lion.”
Stacy fought back a snort as Rick narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Enough. You’ve gone soft. You fight how you like, and I’ll fight how I like.” He lunged at Beau, who merely swiped him to the side with a heavy paw, sending Rick rolling.
Rick looked up angrily. “You didn’t use claws. Don’t mock me.”
“Oh, my bad. I forgot I needed them with a weakass like you,” Beau said.
Stacy hadn’t known what Beau would be like in a challenge, but this made a lot of sense. His lazy, sardonic responses only made her love him more.
Damn, what was she going to do?
Rick made a couple other lame attempts to engage Beau, and all ended in Beau evading and knocking him down as if he were simply enjoying playing with him. Maybe he was. Or maybe he was trying to be less violent, like she’d asked him to.
Either way, her heart swelled with pride that she’d even had a chance at making this man hers.
She even loved the shape of his lion. Something about it made her feel safe. She had no idea why.
“All right,” Rick said. “I don’t know how else to make you serious. You can play around all you want, but when I get tired of this and end you because you don’t take out your claws, you should know what I plan to do to your mate.”
“Don’t say it,” Beau snarled, his eyes flicking in her direction.
“I’m going to fuck her,” Rick said. “Not in a nice way. Make her scream. Not in a good way. Take everything you love about her and crush it. Show her the puny human she is and enjoy crushing the life out of her. Make her feel her own weakness as she—”
He wasn’t able to finish his gross threat because Beau lunged forward with a roar and knocked the other lion to the ground. She could tell from his sounds that he was in a near killing fury, and she heard Rick howl beneath him as they rolled over the grass, striking at each other with fearsome claws.
Rick got free for a moment and stood on his back legs to slash at Beau, but Beau was taller and caught Rick across the face with a mighty slash that sent the other lion flying. Then Beau was on him in an instant, pinning the now transformed man to the ground and holding him down with a snarl.
And that was too familiar. Suddenly, the image of Beau in front of her overlapped with the young lion she’d seen before. The one who’d saved her in the burning forest. If she just imagined a fully grown mane and a much bigger, more powerful body, she could see it. And it shocked her down to her toes.
She saw Beau raise his massive claws over the helpless man and jumped over the railing to run toward him. She made a little oof sound as she hit the grass and rolled and then stumbled as she stood, but she managed to draw his attention with her actions.
“Stacy,” he said. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t do it,” she pleaded. “You don’t have to do it.”
He looked at her bleakly and then down at Rick, who was shaking, covering his face, and basically sobbing for mercy.
“You can make him promise. He won’t try it again. He knows you can kill him.”
Beau let out a rough breath, still uncertain.
Her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest. Beau was her childhood hero. She didn’t understand how that was possible. Her whole world had just turned upside down. But she did know one thing for sure.
“I don’t want you to kill for me. Not again.”
He slowly transformed out of his lion as the lackeys ran forward to cover Rick and pick him up. Beau walked over to his shirt and pants and pulled them on, very quiet as he did so.
When Rick’s minions had taken him away, after his verbal promise never to try anything again, Beau gave her a tentative look.
“So you finally remember,” he said.
“I always remembered,” she said. “I just didn’t know it was
you. Not until I saw your lion. Ready to kill. For me.”
“Now you know,” he said. “I’m actually super violent when it comes to someone in trouble. Or someone threatening you. I’m not this perfect, good guy. I’m an animal inside, too.”
She nodded. “But you held back.”
“I’m trying,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “But yeah.” He reached in his back pocket of his half-buttoned slacks and handed her a crumpled envelope. He frowned at it. “I guess this got messed up when I shifted. Anyway, that’s for you. It explains everything. I mean, I guess nothing changes for you.”
“What if it does change things for me?” she asked. “What if it changes everything?”
“Then you know where to find me,” he said. “But you were right when you said it would be hard with my family. Things are never easy, despite what others seem to think. I’d never wish that life on you. Not when you don’t think it’s worth it.”
“I…” She didn’t know what to say. Her head was spinning.
He let out a sigh. “Anyway, it’s been a blast. I don’t think anyone should bother you when word gets out about Rick. I’m sorry I couldn’t win you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t save your parents. We failed in a big way that night. But that’s all in the note. And after reading it, I’m sure you’ll be even more glad that we said good-bye.” He put a hand in his pocket. “Well, I’m going to head out and stay somewhere else tonight. Give you time to pack. You can leave when you want.”
“You don’t have to go,” she said, holding the envelope.
“It’s too painful for me to stay,” he said. “Not when I know you aren’t going to be mine.”
She wanted to tell him to wait, that if he just gave her a freaking minute, maybe everything could be different. But she could tell he was stuck in his head, wouldn’t listen to anything she said.
She had no choice but to let him go. And once she read his letter and let things calm down, she could figure out what she wanted to do where her handsome lion was concerned.
“Take care,” he said. “I’ll let Stan know you’re staying and to keep an eye out.”
King of Rock (Lions of Pride Island Book 1) Page 11