The Forsaken (Echoes from the Past Book 4)

by Irina Shapiro

  “Sit yerself down and have some breakfast,” Joan said as she brushed flour off her hands. “Hugh’s already eaten. He’s outside chopping wood, the poor lad. ’Tis cold out there, and it snowed during the night. It takes some doing to get Hugh out of bed this early in the morning. Might he be angry about something?” she mused as she studied Kate’s impassive face, her eyes straying to the wet sheet steaming by the hearth.

  Kate accepted a cup of hot broth and a slice of bread and applied herself to her breakfast. She wasn’t about to take the bait.

  “Adam’s excited about Christmas,” Joan went on. “Hugh promised him a dagger this year, and a sword by the time he turns fourteen.”

  “What does an eight-year-old need with a dagger?” Kate asked.

  “’Tis not about need, but about rite of passage. Adam will be going to Stanwyck Hall come spring, and it’ll look good in front of the other lads if he has something of value, especially if it’s a weapon.”

  “I’ll miss him,” Kate said truthfully.

  “Aye, so will I, but ’tis the right time. Jed will be leaving us as well.”

  “What? Why?”

  “William promised him a parcel of land when he came of age and Hugh means to honor that promise. Jed needs to learn to farm it, so he’ll go live with one of the families on the estate. They can use the help, and Jed will get an education. And then he’ll be ready to wed.”

  “How will Alf manage without Jed?” Kate asked. Walter did much to help the old man, but if Stanwyck called Hugh to arms, Walter would go with him, and Alf would be left to manage on his own.

  “Oh, I expect Hugh will bring in a new lad.”

  “He should find someone to help you as well. It’s been nearly a year since Aileen died.”

  “He’s offered. I’m just not ready to train another lass, I suppose. Too much bother, if ye ask me. If they’re too young, they can’t handle much in the way of housework, and if they’re a bit older, they only have eyes for the lads and want a home and hearth of their own. I thought Aileen might stay a while, being damaged and all, but even those who’re deaf and dumb can’t keep their legs crossed.”

  Kate bristled at Joan’s spiteful comment, but said nothing. There was little point. She finished her meal and rose laboriously to her feet. She had mending to do, and wanted to take advantage of the bright morning light. Though she still saw well at a distance, she could no longer sew or embroider by candlelight. She dared not say anything to Hugh about her failing eyesight for fear of appearing even more useless than he already believed her to be.

  Kate had been at her mending for nearly two hours when she heard the frenzied barking of the dogs. She glanced out the window to see what all the fuss was about. A lone rider came trotting through the gate, his face endearingly familiar, even from a distance.

  Guy. Kate dropped the shirt she’d been working on and sprang to her feet. Her hip hurt even more after sitting for a prolonged period of time, but she had to welcome Guy home.

  She heard Hugh’s booming voice. “Nurse, you’d best prepare something grand for supper tonight. Our lad’s come home!” Whatever animosity he’d felt toward Guy had been replaced by relief at seeing his brother home and unharmed.

  Eleanor, who’d been working on the same piece of embroidery for the past two weeks, made no move to rise, but her eyes never left Kate’s face, watching with interest as Kate tried to hide her joy and rearrange her features into a semblance of bland indifference. “You must be glad Guy’s home. He will keep Hugh sufficiently distracted to give you some respite.”

  Kate wasn’t sure what Eleanor was implying, but decided not to ask for clarification. Eleanor was probably just trying to get a rise out of her.

  Kate limped from the room and stepped out into the snow-covered yard. Hugh was already there, clapping Guy on the shoulder and calling to Alf to see to Guy’s horse. Adam stood just behind Hugh, suddenly shy of his uncle, his eyes alight with excitement and curiosity.

  “Adam, Jesu, you’ve grown. I hardly recognized you. I’m glad I came home before you left us for good. When’s that to be, then?”

  “Just after Easter, Uncle Guy. I’m to enter the Earl of Stanwyck’s service.”

  “I envy you. Some of the happiest years of my life were when I was a page. The earl has several boys in his service at a time, so you’ll make friends and learn sword fighting and jousting.”

  “Uncle Hugh’s been teaching me.”

  “He’s a quick study,” Hugh said, placing his hand on Adam’s shoulder and smiling down at the boy. “He really makes me work. My reflexes are not what they used to be.”

  Adam’s already pink cheeks reddened with pleasure. “I still have much to learn,” he mumbled.

  “That you do, but I’ve no doubt the earl will be very pleased with your progress,” Hugh replied kindly.

  Kate remained in the shadowed doorway and rested her head against the cool stone of the archway, not wishing to interrupt. From where she was standing, Guy and Hugh looked like the most devoted of brothers, and Hugh bore no resemblance to the angry, violent man he’d become.

  She took a deep breath and stepped out of the shadows before Guy could see her skulking. Smiling in welcome, she walked toward him. He’d changed. She noticed that right away. His face was leaner, the stubble shadowing his cheeks making him appear older and harder, and his stance more assured, more aggressive. When their eyes met, Kate noticed the greatest change of all. Gone were the innocence and vulnerability, replaced by awareness and skepticism.

  Guy smiled and held out his hand to her, but his smile slipped as his gaze roamed over her. “Kate, I’m glad to see you looking so well,” he said.

  She knew she didn’t look well, and he must have noticed her fear of greeting him too eagerly, her swollen wrist, and her pained gait. She must have looked haggard, pale and downtrodden, but she thanked Guy all the same and withdrew her hand from his before Hugh could make more of the gesture than it was. “It’s wonderful to have you home, especially in time for Christmas.”

  “I timed my arrival.” Guy’s boyish smile lit up his eyes and reminded Kate of the young man she’d met several years ago. “The Earl of Warwick was kind enough to release me from his service a month early. He had no immediate need of me and thought I might enjoy spending Christmas with my family.”

  “That’s very considerate of him,” Kate replied, surprised. She’d never met Warwick, but the tales she’d heard, even from her own father, always painted the man as calculating and driven, not sentimental.

  “He’s a surprising man. He can be ruthless, single-minded, and unforgiving. But he’s also loyal to those he loves, keenly aware of his men’s needs, and devoted to his family.”

  “And what of this business of the king’s marriage?” Hugh asked as he led the way into the house. “I hear Warwick is incensed.”

  Kate trailed after the men, eager to hear what Guy had to say. Her life had been so monotonous this past year that news of the court was not to be missed.

  “I’ll tell you all about that later. I could use a wash, and I’m famished,” Guy declared. “I spent the night at a tiny inn about three hours south of here, and the only thing the landlord could offer me by way of breakfast was some congealed gruel and watered-down ale.”

  “I’ll have Nurse bring you some hot water and then you can join us for dinner. I hope you’re not too good for the likes of us now, having supped at Westminster Palace and rubbed shoulders with the king,” Hugh joked as he patted Guy on the shoulder once again. He looked genuinely happy, an emotion so rare in Hugh that Kate barely recognized it.

  “I only saw the king from a distance,” Guy replied as he began to ascend the stairs.

  “And his queen?” Hugh called after him. “I heard she’s a rare beauty.”

  “Aye, she is that.” Guy looked like he wanted to say more, but changed his mind and made his way up to his chamber.

  Chapter 56

  Kate used her uninjured hand to carry the
pitcher of hot water to Guy’s bedchamber. Joan had much to do in the kitchen, so Kate had offered to bring up the water as an excuse to get Guy to herself for a few minutes. She found him sitting by the cold hearth, his boots tossed carelessly aside and his cloak and doublet on the coffer seat beneath the window. He looked tired and drawn, and held his right arm against his side as if it pained him.

  “It gets stiff from the cold,” he explained.

  “How are your headaches?” Kate asked quietly as she set the pitcher down on the stand.

  “Still there. They’re quite severe at times, especially when it’s stormy outside,” Guy replied. “I wasn’t much use to Warwick. He was glad to see the back of me. There’s only so much guard duty one can perform.”

  “I’m sure he valued your service.”

  “Warwick was duty-bound to retain me for a period of one year. He needs all the support he can muster in the north, and the Earl of Stanwyck is a valuable ally who can raise a good-sized army when called upon. Warwick took me on as a favor to him, nothing more.”

  “Surely, a loyal man, even if not as proficient with a sword as some, is still better than two skilled fighters with divided loyalties.”

  “I suppose, but it’s a bitter truth to swallow that you’re no longer as useful as you once believed yourself to be. I can still fight for my liege, but I’m not strong enough to survive a prolonged battle.”

  “Oh, Guy,” Kate breathed. She thought Guy had learned to see his own worth in Warwick’s service, but the swagger she’d seen earlier was nothing more than defiance and a refusal to allow Hugh to guess at his insecurities. Guy was still a valuable asset to his lord, but it seemed his confidence had been undermined by his injury and his faith in himself would not be restored unless he distinguished himself in battle or died trying.

  “Enough about me. I’ve missed you, Kate.” Guy crossed the room and stood close to her. Too close. She took an involuntary step back, earning a rueful smile from Guy. “How have things been at home?”

  “The same.” Kate shrugged. “Nothing much changes around here.” She didn’t mean to sound ungrateful or displeased with her life, but there was an edge of bitterness to her voice. Guy’s gaze slid down to her waist, and then back up again, making her cringe with shame. She shook her head. “I’m not with child. Hugh is angry, Guy. He blames me.”

  “I’m sorry, Kate. I know how much Hugh wanted children. It might still happen,” he added, but his optimism rang false.

  “I don’t hold out much hope. Not anymore. Hugh believes me to be barren, and now that he doesn’t stand a chance of inheriting my father’s fortune, he sees me as nothing more than a hindrance to his plans for the future. If I were to die, he’d be free to marry again, and believe me, he wouldn’t tarry.”

  She was grateful that Guy didn’t insult her by arguing that she was wrong and Hugh loved her and would mourn her. She’d always been able to talk frankly to him, and he did the same in return. Being able to speak openly, even if only for a few minutes, reminded her once again how emotionally isolated she’d become and how desperately she longed for a sympathetic ear.

  “I must be going. Hugh will wonder what I’m doing up here,” Kate said. She poured the hot water into a basin and motioned toward it. “You’d better wash up before the water grows cold. I’ll see you downstairs. The food is simple, but it’s plentiful, and you look half-starved,” she joked. The only part of Guy that looked hungry were his eyes, which were fixed on her as if he were trying to memorize her every expression.

  “Not a day went by when I didn’t think of you,” he said. He didn’t come closer or demand a response. He was simply stating a fact.

  Kate bowed her head. She wanted to tell him how much she missed him and how happy she was that he was back, but taking such a liberty would lead to more truths and more revelations, so she nodded in acknowledgement and fled Guy’s chamber before he could see the tears quivering on her lashes.

  By the time he came down a half hour later, Kate was calm and composed. She sat at the table with her hands folded demurely in her lap as Hugh said grace. He was in such high spirits that he’d invited Joan, Alf, Jed, and Walter to share their meal, and treated them as honored guests rather than individuals he’d bullied for years and rarely thanked for their service.

  “A toast to my brother’s homecoming,” Hugh exclaimed as he raised his goblet in Guy’s direction. “I’m so happy to see you, brother.”

  “And I you,” Guy said, his gaze on Kate.

  Chapter 57

  Kate left Guy in the company of Eleanor, Hugh, and Walter after dinner and retired to her bedchamber. Her head throbbed as if someone had used it as a war drum and her belly twisted with menstrual cramps. She could barely move her wrist and her hip was bruised and stiff. She undressed down to her chemise, climbed into bed, and pulled the furs up to her chin, grateful for their warmth and the deep silence of the chamber.

  She closed her eyes. Seeing Guy had brought her immeasurable joy, but also deep pain. She’d never fallen in love with Hugh, but she’d tried to be an obedient wife. This morning, Kate had realized with startling clarity that she hated the man. She’d been naïve when she allowed Father Phillip to convince her that Hugh was an honorable man and she should be a devoted wife to him despite her reservations.

  Looking back after nearly four years of marriage, Kate now saw clearly how Hugh had manipulated events in order to gain her family’s connections and fortune. She wondered how different things might have been had Hugh been the one wounded at Towton rather than Guy. But then, Guy would never have taken advantage of the situation as Hugh had. Guy would have escorted Kate home, thanked her for her help, and ridden out of her life.

  She huddled deeper into the covers, pulling her legs up against her belly to staunch the ache. Her heart had soared at the sight of Guy, and her spirits had lifted just knowing he was well and safe, but the chasm between them was as unbreachable as ever. If he chose to remain at the castle, hiding her feelings for him would prove difficult, especially under the watchful gazes of Eleanor and Joan. She had to be twice as careful and maintain a constant guard where Guy was concerned.

  After a restorative nap, Kate came down for supper. She was physically better, but the pall of misery hadn’t lifted and she tried to keep her eyes from sliding to Guy as she took a seat at the table. Hugh was jubilant. He’d received a message from Stanwyck Hall inviting them to come an hour earlier for the annual Christmas celebration. Kate suspected the invitation had been issued as soon as Guy’s squire, lent to him by the earl, returned to Stanwyck Hall and reported Guy de Rosel’s return. The earl would wish to hear all the latest news and enjoy court gossip before the rest of his guests arrived. Current information wasn’t easy to come by, isolated as they were so far up north, and Guy’s account of what was happening in the capital wasn’t to be missed.

  “Will there be minstrels and mummers?” Adam asked for the tenth time. This would be his first time attending a Christmas celebration with the adults.

  “Yes, Adam, there will be minstrels and mummers,” Hugh replied happily. “And the earl plies his guests with rare delicacies and fine wine.”

  “What about bear baiting? I’d like to see that.”

  “Adam, I don’t think bear baiting is an appropriate activity on the day we celebrate the birth of our Lord,” Eleanor admonished him.

  “And minstrels are?” he demanded.

  “Christ’s birth is a joyous occasion, to be celebrated with music and feasting. Bear baiting is a sport, bloody and common, not at all the kind of pastime our Lord would have approved of.”

  “Did they have bear baiting in his day?” Adam asked, earning himself a reproachful look from his mother. Hugh looked amused.

  “I daresay, Our Savior, who was kind and gentle, would not have approved of the torture of any creature,” Eleanor replied to Adam sternly.

  “Well put, Eleanor,” Hugh said with nod of agreement. “No bear baiting, Adam, but I think the dice mi
ght come out later in the evening.”

  “Gambling on the day of the Lord’s birth is a vice,” Eleanor cried.

  “So it is, my dear. So it is. Adam, you can’t play.”

  “And you?” Eleanor demanded, turning to Hugh.

  “I think the Lord will forgive me,” he replied, putting an end to Eleanor’s righteous indignation with a severe look. She could lecture Adam, but she had to keep her own counsel where Hugh was concerned. He was the head of the family, and she was there on his sufferance, even if her son was the rightful heir to the estate.

  “Will there be many people?” Adam inquired, seemingly oblivious to the tension he’d created between Hugh and his mother.

  “Nigh on fifty, I’d say,” Hugh replied. “What do you think, Guy? He’s had that many in the past.”

  “Sounds right,” Guy replied. He seemed distracted.

  “Eleanor, have you a gown to wear?” Hugh asked, his question surprisingly intimate. Men didn’t ask such things of ladies they weren’t married to, especially in front of others.

  Eleanor blushed and nodded. “I have the green damask trimmed with sable. It’s most appropriate for Christmas.”

  Guy turned to Kate as though expecting her to tell them what she planned to wear, but Kate remained mute for a moment. She had several gowns, but there was one she hadn’t yet worn. It was of deep blue velvet, trimmed with the pelt of a red fox. The fiery color of the fur brought out the auburn highlights in her hair, and the deep blue accented her eyes and pale skin. The gown was the finest thing she owned, and suddenly she couldn’t wait to wear it, just to see the admiration in Guy’s eyes.

  “I have just the thing,” Kate finally said. She felt a telltale flush creeping up her cheeks and thought that Hugh would see right through her, but he barely glanced in her direction. His attention seemed focused on Eleanor this evening. She did look lovely, in a gown of deep brown velvet. Her creamy breasts swelled above the bodice and her fair hair, uncovered since she was at home and in the presence of family, glowed in the candlelight. She was still a beautiful woman, one who’d be even lovelier if she had the love of a good man.