Some Guys Have All the Luck

by Deborah Cooke

  She didn’t expect him to agree, but she didn’t expect him to retreat either.

  Reid turned his back on her, surveyed the room as if he wasn’t sure where he was, then strode to the bathroom. Cassie heard the water running, and followed him with curiosity.

  To her surprise, he’d tugged on a T-shirt and briefs and was brushing his teeth. He was arming himself again, putting barriers between them, and trying to shut her out with his body language.

  Cassie understood.

  “You can’t do that,” he said and his voice was a little bit higher than usual.

  “But I already fell in love with you,” she said, leaning in the doorway to watch him.

  He looked to be panicking.

  He certainly appeared to be resolute.

  He’d learn that Cassie could be just as determined.

  “No,” he said firmly, finished brushing his teeth and shoved a hand through his hair. He picked up the jeans he’d left hanging over the rack and marched back into the main room of the suite. He brushed past her, agitation coming off him in waves, but didn’t pause for a kiss or a caress.

  Cassie turned to watch him and pulled on her kimono.

  He tugged on his shoes without bothering with socks, claimed his jacket and gave her an intent look. “I have to go out.”

  “Anywhere in particular?”

  “Anywhere but here.”

  “We’re going to have a hard time talking if you leave.”

  He gave her a hot look. “We aren’t going to talk about this.”

  With that, he was gone, leaving Cassie alone in the suite.

  She could have followed him, but she respected that she’d shaken his assumptions. She hoped he’d be back. He had left his luggage and the keys to the Lincoln. She debated her choices for a moment, then decided to give Reid the time alone he apparently wanted.

  She ran a bath for herself, soaked in it until she was yawning, then went to bed.

  She didn’t shoot the dead bolt, because she had to believe that Reid would return.

  As the hours slipped by, she started to wonder.

  Wouldn’t he?

  Reid charged through the hotel lobby and into the street, then stood there unseeing for a moment, looking up and down the street.

  I love you.

  Cassie couldn’t have said anything more terrifying.

  It had been too tempting to reply in kind.

  But love was a lie, a short-term illusion that got people into situations they couldn’t later escape. Love didn’t last. Love deceived and tricked, even when the lover didn’t intend any such thing. Love was untrustworthy.

  Even if he thought Cassie wasn’t.

  Reid had been burned before and he knew better than to follow his heart again. It didn’t help that his feelings for Shannon had been nothing in comparison to his need to be with Cassie. He couldn’t take the chance of believing in the fiction of happily-ever-after. If that really did occur, it happened to other people, not people like him.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and started to walk. His father would have had a drink and a part of Reid itched for a shot of something stronger than wine. A double. Or a triple. But he knew where that path led and he wasn’t going to follow it.

  He would not be his father’s son.

  He thought of his anger at what Cassie had experienced and his desire in that moment to injure Ryan. Maybe kill him. Could his reaction to Cassie turn him into his father?

  It was a horrible prospect.

  Reid walked. He’d known Cassie was dangerous from the first, but he hadn’t realized just how dangerous. She had the ability to convince him to yearn for what he couldn’t have, just because his wanting it would make her happy.

  He’d never make her happy.

  She’d never be satisfied in Montrose River and he knew that town would always be a part of his life. He had to think that regular separations could only weaken a relationship over time. In a moment like this, when he felt besieged and devoid of options, he wanted nothing more than to wander around the Shop ’n Save in the dark. It was home. It was a sanctuary, a place where his dreams were quantifiable and achievable.

  Where they were small.

  Where he was safe.

  Reid realized that he’d often thought of Marty as standing outside of life, just observing, instead of participating. Hadn’t he done the same thing? He was well aware that he’d talked more about himself at dinner than he had in his whole life put together.

  To please Cassie.

  He’d challenged Chase Stewart and given Lisa a job she hadn’t been sure she wanted. He’d always tried to help the community and make it a better place, but now his interactions were becoming personal.

  It had been Cassie’s truth that had sent him to Chase.

  She was changing him.

  That was terrifying.

  Reid often thought of Marty as choosing not to live, as a man who opted for safety instead of adventure, as a man who had taken refuge in the back of a grocery store instead of taking on even a small town.

  Had he done the same thing? Had he been hiding in Montrose River?

  He felt the rhythm and energy of the city around him and wasn’t sure he could live there. He feared that he’d disappear in a big city. He couldn’t challenge preconceptions about his character when people didn’t have any, didn’t know of him and didn’t care.

  He never ever wanted to be the person who disappointed Cassie or let her down.

  He should stop this madness now, before the deal was changed.

  Because it might be her heart that would end up broken, not his own.

  Reid knew that would be a thousand times worse.

  He also knew it wouldn’t be simple to convince Cassie of his view, at least not with words. Not with his own arguments.

  He pivoted and looked back toward the hotel, unable to distinguish the lights of its windows from all the others. Marty could tell her the truth.

  It was time to pass along The Book and let it do what Marty had perhaps always suspected it would do.

  Cassie awakened alone and naked in the king-sized bed. The sheets were smooth and cool and the room was in shadows. There was no sign of Reid.

  It was five in the morning.

  Hadn’t he come back yet?

  She got up with concern and tugged on her kimono, then peeked into the main room of the suite. To her relief, he was sitting in the darkness, his feet up on the coffee table as he stared out over the city. He didn’t seem to be aware of her, but she suspected he was.

  He certainly wasn’t in a hurry to acknowledge her. She had the sense that he was closed to the world, or maybe just to her. Hadn’t anyone ever admitted to loving him? The possibility outraged her, and then it saddened her because it was probably the truth.

  “So, you don’t actually sleep,” she said softly, not wanting to surprise him.

  Reid’s gaze slid to her and she knew he’d been aware of her all along. “No lie.”

  “I thought maybe an exaggeration.”

  “Not much of one.” His words were clipped, not inviting her to continue their conversation, but Cassie would be damned if she’d abandon the discussion. She was fighting for everything she wanted, and he’d understand that before he refused.

  It was clear that Reid wasn’t going to make it easy.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” she said when he remained silent.

  He was still staring out the windows, his expression pensive and she wondered if he would even reply.

  Then he did, his voice low. “I was thinking of my mom.”

  Cassie would take that as encouragement. “Doreen, wasn’t it?” She took a few steps into the room and he didn’t bolt or move away.

  Reid nodded. “Doreen,” he agreed softly.

  “I barely remember her.” She could envision a pretty woman with dark hair, but thought of her as being shy or reclusive. She couldn’t remember ever seeing her up close, much less talking to her.

 
Of course, they had lived outside of town. She wasn’t sure Doreen had known how to drive a car. She doubted they’d had a second car. Few families had in those days.

  “She always wanted to come to California.” Reid fell silent again and Cassie realized this was more than he’d ever told her about himself or his family.

  “Tell me about her?” she asked, perching on the arm of the closest chair.

  “Not much to tell.” His tone wasn’t that encouraging but he moved to one side of the big chair, making enough space for Cassie.

  She took that as an invitation and went to sit with him, tucking up her legs so she was halfway in his lap. The weight of his arm landed across her shoulders, pulling her closer, and she put her cheek on his shoulder. This was better. She liked when she could put her hand on his chest and feel his heartbeat.

  He still didn’t look at her, though, and she wondered if he was indifferent—or couldn’t resist having her close.

  “She was beautiful, by all accounts,” he said then. “I thought so, too.”

  “Well, she was your mom,” she said, trying to tease him a little.

  “Mm hmm.”

  “And your dad? Did he think she was beautiful?”

  “I’ve no idea.” His tone was hard then and Cassie pulled back a little to look at him. Reid’s throat worked but he wouldn’t meet her gaze, even though he had to know that she was studying him. “You must have heard the stories.”

  “I never listened to stories.”

  “That makes you the polar opposite of your uncle Marty.”

  “And another person who doesn’t trust gossip, just like you.” She was trying to show that they had common ground, but Reid didn’t seem to notice her words.

  “He used to keep this book, a kind of compilation of what he knew about every person in town.”

  “You’re kidding me.”

  He shook his head. “Every Saturday night, he’d stay at the store, updating it in longhand.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “No one did. But that’s why he was there to catch me.”

  Cassie felt her eyes narrow. “Catch you what?”

  Reid raised his brows. “Trying to steal from him. He caught me in the act and challenged me—he had this rifle. It’s still in the store—and I knew my father would kill me if I got caught stealing cigarettes for him, even though he’d sent me to do just that.” He paused. “I guess he didn’t know about Marty’s book either.”

  Cassie was horrified. “Your father sent you to steal?”

  “He sent me to get cigarettes, but wouldn’t give me any money. He told me not to come home without them.” Reid met her gaze. “So, technically, he didn’t order me to steal, but he didn’t leave me with any other options. I was only fourteen.”

  “Or else what?” Cassie was indignant on Reid’s behalf.

  Reid sighed and stroked her shoulder. “Or else he’d do to me what he did to her.”

  There was something ominous in his voice, something that tempered her curiosity. She waited, but he didn’t continue.

  “What did he do to her, Reid?” she finally whispered.

  He shook his head. “She loved him, you know, but it wasn’t good enough.”

  Cassie had a bad feeling then. “What happened to your mom?”

  He shook his head again and his throat worked. She watched a tear slip from his lashes. “He hit me first then made me watch,” he admitted, his voice husky.

  “Made you watch what?” Cassie touched his hand when he didn’t answer. “Reid, what did he do to her?”

  “You, of all people, can guess, Cassie.”

  She was horrified, both for his mother and for him. “Reid...”

  He cleared his throat and eased away from her. “I brought it for you, because I think someone in your family should have it.” He got up and crossed the room, crouching down beside his messenger bag.

  Cassie straightened in her seat, curious but uncertain. “Brought what?”

  “Marty’s book.” Reid pulled a big binder out of his bag, then returned to offer it to her. “Promise not to hold it against me.”

  “I don’t understand. Hold what against you?”

  “Anything you learn from reading it.”

  “Have you read it?”

  “Only a bit,” Reid said and Cassie believed him. “Only after you confided in me.”

  So, he’d read whatever was there about her.

  “People can tell me their secrets themselves. I don’t like gossip and I don’t want to pry. I don’t even want to watch and listen and figure it out for myself, like Marty did.”

  Cassie still didn’t take the book. “Won’t you tell me your secrets yourself?”

  Reid shook his head again. “I don’t know how, Cassie.”

  “You seem to be doing all right.”

  “Don’t be fooled.” He looked down at the binder. “This is as close as I can get.”

  Even this wasn’t easy for him, she saw. “You don’t know that Marty got everything right.”

  “Marty was dead on the money on the things I checked. I’m pretty sure he got the rest right. He was reliable like that.”

  Cassie understood. He’d read the parts about himself and his family.

  Reid offered the book again and his expression was so bleak that Cassie took it from him. Then he swallowed and turned away. “I’m going to go swim some laps,” he said, his voice hoarse.

  Cassie stood up, clutching the book. “Reid.”

  He stopped but didn’t turn around.

  “Why didn’t your mom ever visit California?”

  “She never had the chance,” he said. His eyes seemed large and dark. “We were ready to go. She’d saved money and we’d packed. We were just waiting for our chance.” He grimaced. “And then he figured it out.” His gaze rose to hers. “He hurt me first, and she came back for me. She would have made it if she’d just left and kept going.”

  “But she loved you. She couldn’t just leave you.”

  “And she died for it,” he concluded savagely. “Loving me is a bad idea, Cassie.”

  “But I do...”

  “And you should stop while you can.”

  “Reid!”

  “Don’t you understand? She loved him. He destroyed her. You say you love me and when you told me about Ryan, I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.” He jabbed a finger at his own chest. “I will always be my father’s son. I will not risk you.”

  He went to the door, moving quickly so she couldn’t catch up with him, then left the suite. Cassie heard the emergency door at the end of the hall, then his footsteps racing down the stairs. She held the book against her chest and stared at the closed door, wondering at Reid’s reaction.

  He expected her to read it.

  He was sharing his secrets the only way he knew how. She had to respect that.

  She also suspected that he did love her, and that he was protecting her from himself. She didn’t agree with that, but she needed to know more before she could argue with him about it.

  Cassie returned to the chair he’d abandoned, turned on the light, and opened the binder. She was amazed by the number of entries and the detail, and knew it would take her ages to read and digest it all. The entries were organized alphabetically by surname, so it was easy to find Doreen Reid.

  It was a lot less easy to read what Marty had recorded about that woman’s life.

  In fact, even the short summary of facts made Cassie cry.

  Fourteen

  Reid expected Cassie to leave the suite.

  He fully anticipated that he’d get back to the room and find her bags packed and her gone. She could probably stay with one of the other partners. Maybe he should change his flight and leave sooner than planned.

  That would be reneging on their deal, though, and he wasn’t going to do that. He’d promised to go to the wedding with her. Somehow, he had to keep his promise.

  Maybe giving her the book so soon had been a really bad i
dea. Reid didn’t know. He was in unfamiliar territory, plus he felt more agitated than he ever had before. Usually, his path was clear, his choices obvious and logical, but on this morning, he felt cornered by a chaotic tangle of possibilities.

  He didn’t like any of them, which wasn’t reassuring.

  He wanted to keep his word, but the wedding was days away. He felt too raw to just smile and carry on as if nothing had happened.

  He couldn’t accept the love Cassie offered either. That would just ruin them both.

  For the first time since his mom died, Reid didn’t know what to do.

  He swam laps until he ached, and then he swam some more. He swam until the sun came up and illuminated the pool room and he kept swimming. He swam as other people came and went, and still he swam laps. He’d lost count of them, and he had no idea when he’d come down to the pool. When he finally climbed out of the water, it was after nine.

  He knew Cassie would have gone to F5W for her class.

  He wouldn’t think about letting her down.

  Reid grabbed a towel and his gear, then headed for the elevator. He could smell the breakfasts that had been delivered by room service and his stomach growled in complaint. The elevator made a soft ring before the doors opened on the top floor, and he strode toward the room.

  Would she have changed the code on the keys? No, not Cassie. He’d paid for the suite and she wasn’t a bitch. But Reid felt a second of doubt after inserting his key before the light flashed green, to his relief. He opened the door, certain the suite would be empty, and Cassie turned from the window to face him. She was on her phone.

  Marty’s binder was on the coffee table.

  Open.

  Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying.

  That was his fault.

  “I’ll be there by noon,” she said. “My jetlag is bad this time and I overslept.” She rolled her eyes as someone responded. “Very funny, Kyle. See you in a couple of hours.”

  Reid had closed the door and stood there uncertainly. “I was sure you’d be gone.”

  “Because I found out that your father was an abusive drunk and that he probably killed your mother but never got caught?”

  Reid winced. “No probably about it.”