Witch Tricks

by Sibéal Pounder

  Tiga’s stomach flip-flopped.

  ‘Why am I here then?’ Fluffanora spat furiously.

  ‘Well, Tiga can never do things on her own, according to my sister, so we had to invite one of her friends. But which witch to choose!’

  The Points cackled madly.

  ‘We couldn’t have Peggy Pigwiggle,’ Idabelle said with a snigger. ‘She’s the Top Witch and the Top Witch could never come to something like this. Lizzy Beast would only break something – or us!’

  They cackled some more.

  ‘Felicity would have figured out something was up. Aggie Hoof is the most irritating witch alive. You never seem to see the twins Milly and Molly any more, and to be honest, I completely forgot about the other one,’ she said, clicking her fingers while searching for the name.

  ‘Patty Pigeon,’ Tiga said quietly.

  ‘PATTY PIGEON, OF COURSE!’ Idabelle said, making the others dissolve into cackles once more. ‘That just left you, Fluffanora. Brave, stubborn, curious. You were perfect. Tiga would never have come here without you saying it was a good idea.’

  Fluffanora scowled as Idabelle threw the jam jar lid on the fire. Melodie blew a bored bubble as the others clasped their hands excitedly.

  ‘If we can bring back the Ritzy Six, the Points will be unstoppable! We’ll be able to do anything we want,’ Idabelle roared.

  ‘Can I buy more spirit animals?’ Francesca Fignettle oozed, but Idabelle was in a giddy trance.

  Melodie McDamp blew another bubble and popped it with her finger. ‘I’m going to keep my job at the Mermaid Museum. I like the work, and the uniform.’

  Idabelle’s eyes were wide and fixed on the jam jar as she held it up. With a swift flick of the finger she sent Tiga somersaulting upwards and held her suspended above the flames.

  ‘PUT ME DOWN!’ Tiga cried.

  ‘Six original Points, one jam jar,’ Idabelle Bat hissed.

  ‘NO!’ Tiga and Fluffanora shouted in unison.

  Idabelle smirked and launched the jam jar into the air.

  ‘Burn you back to who you are.’

  It tumbled past Tiga’s nose and towards the fire. Tiga tried to grab it, but it was no good. Everything seemed like it was moving in slow motion. The Points were rising to their feet. Fluffanora’s mouth was sagging into a gloomy frown. Francesca Fignettle was ranting something about a spirit butterfly, but it came in long drowned-out groans and Tiga filtered it out.

  Then came the buzz. The shot of glitter! The –

  ‘Fran!’ Tiga cried, as Fran crashed into the jam jar. She balanced on the edge of the rim as it spun around and around, trying to get a grip, but she flipped backwards, her sparkly jumpsuit ripping as she went. Fran slipped into the jam. It landed with a hiss in the fire.

  ‘Fran!’ Tiga cried, racing over to fish the fairy out.

  There was an explosion of black smoke, followed by a strange squealing sound, as six pointy hats leapt from the flames with an assortment of witches attached to them. They were wearing twigs and leaves, fashioned into dresses.

  The cackling was unbearable.

  ‘We did it!’ Idabelle squealed, waving her hands madly and completely losing her composure for a second. She coughed and straightened herself up. Her eyes filled with delighted tears. ‘THEY’RE BACK.’

  ‘Well, you’ve made a real mess,’ Fluffanora said, shaking her head. ‘And if they think they’re going to get clothes from Brew’s to replace the twig-and-leaf dresses then YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN.’

  Idabelle stalked over and stretched out a hand. ‘I’m Idabelle, head of the Points.’

  Six, the tallest of the Ritzy Six, stepped forward and grinned. ‘Thank you, Points witch, but we are the leaders now.’ She turned towards Pearl Peak. ‘We must go home and get our magic.’

  ‘No!’ Idabelle demanded. ‘First you teach us your special powers and then we wreak havoc!’

  ‘Patience, little witch,’ said Five. ‘All the things we need are at the top of Pearl Peak.’

  And off they ran.

  ‘WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!’ Idabelle cried, as the younger Points raced after the Ritzy Six. The fire went out with a pop, leaving Tiga, Fluffanora and Fran alone in the darkness.

  ‘Fran,’ Tiga whispered, fishing the jam jar out of the ashes and scooping Fran out from inside it. The tiny fairy coughed up an even tinier puff of smoke.

  ‘I remember the Ritzy Six,’ she said. ‘Bad, bad, ba–’

  She fainted in Tiga’s palm.

  Tiga placed Fran gently on the forest floor and leaned down to check she was breathing.

  Fluffanora flicked her finger and mumbled. ‘Back you go, one, two, three, in time you’ll still remember me.’

  Tiga looked at her, an eyebrow raised.

  ‘Rewind spell. She won’t remember the last three hours or so. Oh, stop looking at me like that, Tiga! You know we’ll have to fix this, and Fran would only try to stop us, or at the very least, get in the way. Or she’d do a newspaper interview and tell them about the Ritzy Six, and then the whole town would panic. No, we have to sort this. Before anyone finds out.’

  Fluffanora was right. Tiga reluctantly flicked her finger and Fran’s limp body went flying off through the forest.

  ‘I did a finger flick to put her back in her caravan,’ Tiga said. ‘She’ll be tucked up in bed when she wakes.’

  Fluffanora raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure …? You’re not … great at that spell.’

  ‘Positive,’ Tiga said with a nod.

  ‘Right.’ Fluffanora looked unconvinced. ‘Well, we need to tell Felicity. She’ll be able to help. Oh, I hate it when she’s right.’ She grabbed Tiga’s arm and dragged her back out of the forest.

  RITZY CITY POST

  A REVIEW OF FAIRY FIGHTZ

  The latest TV sensation to hit our spoons has witches all over Sinkville going crazy for Fairy Fightz ! The cast consists of three key members. Patricia the producer thinks more characters could be added if the show proves successful. Fan favourite Peanut is played by the fabulous Fran. Peanut wears a sparkly jumpsuit and drops glittery dust out of her trousers like a pro. She dominated in episode one, but Patricia the producer has hinted that things might not always be so rosy for the fairy star.

  Her arch-rivals are the terrifyingly named Flappy, and her sidekick Tiny Fists. Tiny Fists wears the best headgear in the show, though did no flying and had very few choreographed moves. She seems to rely on Flappy, whose wings are huge and whose moves are impressive.

  We sat down with Patricia in her plastic castle office in Brollywood and asked her some questions.

  Reporter: Who is your favourite character?

  Patricia the producer: Peanut.

  Reporter: Why?

  Patricia the producer: Because if I said anyone other than Fran’s character, she’d throw a strop and put the whole TV show at risk of being shut down. Her last strop involved her protesting outside the shop that sells pictures of famous Brollywood faces. She spotted they weren’t all of her and chained herself to the door, so no one could get in. She shouted ‘MY FACE OR NOTHING!’ for three whole days. I can still hear it echoing in my head.

  Reporter: What will happen to Cooking for Tiny People while Fran is filming Fairy Fightz?

  Patricia the producer: We thought about asking Crispy to stand in for her, but Crispy has taken over directing Fairy Fightz and is doing a wonderful job. Plus Fran threw a melon at me when I suggested Crispy could take over. There will be no new Cooking for Tiny People while Fran is filming Fairy Fightz, but … her new cookbook, Cooking for Tiny People: The Complete Microscopic Collection, will be available in all good Sinkville bookshops in the meantime.

  Reporter: And one more question. I’ve always wondered … why is your office a big plastic castle?

  Patricia the producer: We filmed a TV show a long time ago, when Fran was a young star. We called it Microscopic Princess in a Big Plastic Castle. People liked our twist on princesses – she was a fairy-sized architect. The series ended
when Fran demanded we change the castle material from plastic to gold. We just don’t have those kind of budgets.

  Reporter: And one more question. What’s your greatest achievement in your role as Patricia the producer, so far?

  Patricia the producer: Dealing with Fran after she won the award for Best and Only Fairy Film of the Year. She demanded that we train a cat to transport her to the set in the morning. But all cats hate her and I couldn’t find one willing to do it.

  Cats

  Tiga and Fluffanora raced back to Linden House and didn’t stop until they reached the door. Tiga gripped the handle tightly and panted, as Fluffanora collapsed in a heap.

  The door creaked open.

  ‘What’s happened now?’ Felicity Bat groaned.

  ‘Why did you go?’ Felicity Bat spat. ‘WHY?’

  ‘Curiosity?’ Fluffanora said.

  ‘And before you say it, Felicity, we know – curiosity killed the cat,’ Tiga added.

  There was a hissing sound and then a sharp crack as a large clump of cats fell through the ceiling and landed at Tiga’s feet. They looked up at her.

  ‘Why are there cats falling through the roof?’ Tiga asked.

  One of them licked her boot.

  ‘You just did a spell,’ Felicity Bat said impatiently.

  ‘What, “curiosity killed the cat”?!’ Tiga cried as another clump of cats fell on her. ‘That’s just a saying. People above the pipes say it all the time.’

  ‘Well down here,’ Felicity Bat said, ‘it’s a spell.’

  Fluffanora leaned closer to Tiga. ‘It saves unwanted cats. You know, strays and things. If you want to help some cats, you say it.’

  ‘THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!’ Tiga cried.

  ‘Well, what do you expect from a Catcat family spell?’ Felicity Bat said. ‘Did Catriona not tell you about it at the Points gathering? She’s always boasting about her family’s spells.’

  ‘She didn’t go into detail, although Idabelle mentioned the one about turning witches into cats … just not the … ceiling cat one,’ Tiga said.

  Felicity put her head in her hands and let out a muffled scream.

  ‘I think she finds us frustrating,’ Fluffanora said with a smile.

  Felicity Bat went black in the eyes and flew towards Tiga. ‘I find her frustrating,’ she seethed, prodding Tiga with her finger. ‘She barely knows any spells. She doesn’t take my warnings about my sister seriously. SHE ALWAYS CAUSES TROUBLE.’

  ‘I barely know any spells either,’ Fluffanora said, flicking her finger and making a notebook appear. It had FLUFFANORA’S SPELL LIST written in perfect green ink on the front. She flicked through and looked up. ‘But I did know that curiosity killed the –’

  ‘DON’T SAY IT!’ Felicity Bat screamed.

  Fluffanora closed her notebook slowly and tucked it into her pocket.

  ‘She’s right,’ Tiga said, slumping on the sofa. ‘I hardly know any spells. I don’t even write the ones I do know in a notebook. They’d barely fill a page!’

  ‘You’re good at being my best friend, though!’ Peggy said as she came cantering into the room and halted in the middle of them. ‘Wait … why so serious? What did I miss? And whose are these cats?’ She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘Or are they here to complain about something?’

  ‘Tiga’s messed everything up again,’ Felicity Bat said as she floated slowly towards the door. ‘I have my own problems to deal with, I can’t spend my life sorting out yours.’

  ‘But the cats?’ Peggy pressed. ‘Why the cats?’

  ‘Tiga did a spell,’ Felicity Bat said faintly. ‘And this time I’m not helping them – THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN.’

  ‘Technically we’re far from alone,’ Fluffanora said, lifting up two of the cats.

  Felicity Bat rolled her eyes as she floated out of the room, and with the flick of a finger, slammed the door.

  ‘NO!’ Tiga cried. ‘We didn’t even get to tell her about the return of the Ritzy Six.’

  ‘She’s too angry, Tiga. We’ll have to fix this one ourselves,’ Fluffanora said.

  Peggy’s mouth was hanging open and the cat in her arms was licking her glasses. ‘The Ritzy Six? Not the Ritzy Six?’

  Tiga nodded gravely. ‘I tried to tell Felicity, but she was furious we’d even gone to the Points meeting, and then the cats fell from the ceiling and, well …’

  ‘I’ve read about the Ritzy Six,’ Peggy said.

  ‘Well, you’ll probably get to meet them soon,’ Fluffanora said. ‘Idabelle brought them back – at the Points meeting. We saw it all.’

  Peggy scooped up a cat and held it tightly. ‘Did they say anything when they came back? Maybe they’re nice now?’

  ‘I don’t think they are,’ Tiga said. ‘They raced off to Pearl Peak – they said everything they needed to be all powerful and wreak havoc was there.’

  ‘I remember,’ Peggy said, pacing the room. ‘The Ritzy Six locked their powerful magic in their home before they were caught. The only way to stop them is to get there before them.’

  ‘Oh!’ Tiga said, breathing a sigh of relief. ‘Well, that’s not impossible, is it? We can stop them! I mean, I can see Pearl Peak from the window here. It’s just a mountain. I’m really good at climbing. We can get to the top in no time. Let’s go!’

  Fluffanora grabbed the side of the sofa to steady herself.

  ‘You can’t just climb Pearl Peak, Tiga,’ Peggy said. ‘It might look like a spindly mountain, but it’s a whole other world, with its own rules.’

  Peggy clapped her hands and a black sled landed with a thud in the middle of the room.

  ‘What are we supposed to do with that?’ Fluffanora asked.

  ‘Well, there’s snow up there,’ Peggy replied, herding the cats and attaching them to the sled in neat rows. ‘So you might need a cat-drawn sled.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Tiga said with a gulp as she watched the mist swirl around the tip of Pearl Peak. ‘We need all the help we can get.’

  ‘And I’m coming too,’ Peggy said, nestling into the sled and grabbing the reins. The cats arched their backs, ready to run. ‘Because the sled is mine, the cats will only respond if I’m driving.’

  ‘And three is better,’ Fluffanora said in a whisper as she eyed the mountain. ‘The more of us that go up, the more likely it is that one of us will reach the top …’

  To Pearl Peak!

  ‘Pearl Peak proper?’ came Mavis’s voice from behind her jam stall. ‘I know a bit about it, yes. There’s Pearl Peak New Town, where Aggie Hoof and Felicity Bat live. And then you have Pearl Peak Old Town. That part is in the mountain, where the most evil witches lived. No one’s been there in years! I believe it’s magic-protected. You’d be mad to go. MAD!’ She popped up from behind the stall and spotted Peggy crouched in the cat sled, with Tiga and Fluffanora trying to assemble the cats in a neat row.

  Peggy smiled meekly.

  ‘OH NO!’ Mavis shouted, throwing her hands in the air and toppling her perfect pyramid of jam jars. Tiga sidestepped as they smashed at her feet. ‘The sled … YOU’RE NOT GOING UP PEARL PEAK, ARE YOU?’

  Peggy blinked and swallowed awkwardly. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘We need to fix a … um … thing,’ Tiga said. She didn’t want to tell Mavis anything. If she noticed her not-so-carefully-guarded Ritzy Six jam jar was missing, then she’d alert everyone and the whole town would panic.

  Mavis clutched her heart. ‘I can’t let you go alone.’ She tried to step out from behind the stall but got her legs tangled and landed at Fluffanora’s feet in a neat little knot.

  Fluffanora picked a pot of jam off the stall and scooped out a big spoonful. ‘Something makes me think we’d be better off without you, Mavis. But we could do with some of your delicious jam to keep us going.’

  Mavis sprang to her feet and began loading jar after jar into the cart. ‘TAKE IT ALL! OH, IF IT’LL HELP, TAKE IT ALL!’

  When they got to Pearl Peak, witches in their black mansions peeked out o
f the windows, watching their every move.

  ‘What are they staring at?’ Fluffanora scoffed as she scooped out a big handful of jam and shoved it in her mouth.

  ‘CHAAAAAAAARGE!’ Peggy cried as the cats reluctantly slinked forward.

  Tiga looked from Peggy to Fluffanora and back again.

  ‘I suppose it’s not every day they see the Top Witch riding a sled pulled by snail-paced cats and bellowing CHARGE.’

  ‘CHAAAAARGE!’ Peggy cried optimistically, again. One of the cats sat down and started licking its tail.

  ‘We’ll get to the top in no time,’ Peggy said brightly as the snow began to fall. Fluffanora flicked her finger and a huge cape with fur trim wrapped itself around Tiga.

  Fluffanora’s outfit had morphed completely. Now she wore a stylish mix of bright yellow snow trousers featuring cat-shaped pockets, teamed with a slouchy jumper embroidered with a glistening F. She’d topped it all off with a glittery cropped coat. She looked down and inspected her feet, which she’d clad in huge chunky boots with glitter laces to match her jacket. She flicked her finger once more and some icicle earrings flew past Tiga’s nose and hooked themselves on to Fluffanora’s ears.

  ‘I don’t know how you throw together cool outfits like that,’ Tiga said.

  Fluffanora flicked her finger and a fur trim burst from Peggy’s hat.

  ‘Much warmer!’ Peggy said, doing the thumbs up.

  ‘It’s a skill,’ Fluffanora said with a smile. ‘I’m thinking of selling my special dressing spells. I just need to find a way of programming each spell so it would know what was in the user’s wardrobe.’

  ‘I bet Felicity Bat could help,’ Peggy said.

  Fluffanora’s smile faded. ‘I doubt she’ll ever speak to us again after we went to the Points meeting.’