The complete scars series: Books one-four

by Tonks, Rachael

  “A man…” I pause. My voice wavers as I try to find the strength to tell my mother what happened. “A man who made a deal with Carter drugged me and hurt me. I’m not exactly sure what happened, because he placed a cloth over my mouth and I have no memory. But all I know is I’m covered in bruises.”

  My mother’s face pales. “Jesus,” she gasps. “Why… why would someone do that?”

  “I was the deal, Mom. I was part of whatever agreement he made with this man. Your precious nephew did this.”

  With a sob, she launches her arms around me, pulling me into her. “I’m sorry, I had no idea. I never thought this would be something he’d do. You are family. Family meant everything to Carter. Or so I thought,” she says with an audible tut. “I’ve been such an idiot. All this time I was hurting, thinking my own daughter had killed my nephew when all along you were right.” Mom pulls back, grimacing. Her lips are pulled into a fine line and the sorrow in her eyes is evident.

  “He wasn’t the man you thought he was, Mom. He fooled us all.”

  And that’s the truth. He dragged me into his life, using my life as a bartering tool. And even now that he’s gone, those deals can’t be undone.

  “Did he, uh, did her hurt you sexually?” she asks, her voice tentative, her hand stroking the back of my hand.

  “I don’t know,” I choke as tears fill my eyes.

  “We should get you to the hospital.”

  “No,” I spit out. “I can’t do that.”

  “This man needs to pay for what he’s done to you. We need to find out exactly what he’s inflicted on you and get the bastard locked up.

  My throat feels like it’s tightening as my anxiety grows. How can I go to the police without incriminating everyone? Nate, Brax, Isabelle. Too many questions will be asked.

  “I can’t,” I sob, covering my eyes with my hands. “Not now.”

  “Well, okay,” she placates. “Maybe tomorrow, see how you feel tomorrow. But one thing is for certain. You cannot let this animal get away with hurting you.”

  Sniffling, I drop my hands, looking my mom deep in the eye. “He won’t. Believe me.”

  “I should clean those wounds.” Mom jumps from the couch, but I grab a hold of the robe she wears.

  “I really just want to shower, if that’s okay?”

  “Baby.” She lets out a huff. “The only way you will know what he’s done is by being examined. Another reason why you should let me take you to the hospital.”

  “By the pain and swelling I have between my legs, I have no doubt he did exactly what he wanted to. I don’t need a doctor to tell me something I’m already pretty sure happened.” My tone is harsh, yet that was never my intention. I step up from the couch, kissing Mom on the cheek and walking out of the room. I stop at the door, resting my hand on the frame and glancing over my shoulder.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Nate

  “I’ve searched everywhere, man. No sign.”

  “Fuck,” he growls menacingly.

  Sitting on my bike, my heart aches with every pound. How could I have let this happen?

  “Have you been home yet?” Brax inquires and I pull the phone away from my ear, looking at the time on my phone display. It’s five thirty in the morning.

  “No, man. I’ve been searching all night.”

  “Go home, get some rest and I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

  “I’ve got to fucking find her, Brax. Where the hell is she?”

  “I’m going to make some calls. There’s nothing more you can do. Go rest.”

  “I’m sorry, man. Fuck, this is all my fault. Protecting her and pushing her away has caused this.”

  “That’s not important right now. The main thing is finding her and knowing she is safe.” His voice booms down the receiver.

  “Okay,” I say, because I have nothing left I can say. Ending the call, I scroll through the contacts, stopping when I see her name. I hover my finger over, contemplating trying her again. I’ve already tried calling at least fifty times, one more won’t hurt, right?

  Dropping my finger against her name, it initiates the call. I place it to my ear, mentally hoping this will be the time she answers.

  “Nate,” her voice crackles down the phone.

  “Shit, Tara. Why the fuck haven’t you answered my calls?” I snap, in total disbelief.

  “Urmm,” she replies like she’s trying not to be heard. I swallow down hard. She would normally throw back some sarcastic comment, but her simple reply makes my mind race.

  “Where the hell are you?” I ask, stepping up from my bike, my hand squeezing the back of my neck.

  “It has nothing to do with you,” she spits back.

  “This has everything to do with me,” I roar. “I’ve been out searching for you all night. We’ve been out of our minds with worry.”

  “No need,” she replies.

  “I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”

  “Don’t you have a new chick to look after now, Nate?”

  “Where are you?” I repeat, my nostrils flaring at the anger that brews inside.

  “It is none of your concern. I’m not your concern.”

  “Fuck, baby, don’t play bullshit games with me. I need to see you. I need to know you are alright. There’s so much I have to tell you. We need to talk.”

  “Last night I came to talk. Only you were too busy.” Her voice wavers and I can hear the emotion in her voice. She’s hurting, and that pain I hear is like a punch to my gut.

  “You gotta believe me. It wasn’t like that.”

  I hear voices in the background asking who it is. It sounds a lot like her mom.

  “Are you at your mom’s, Tara?”

  “Bye, Nate,” she rushes out and ends the call.

  “No,” I yell, but it’s too late. I quickly bring up Brax’s name, dialing it. “Hey,” I say as he answers after just one ring. “She’s at her mom’s. I’m going to get her.”

  “Thank fuck,” he breathes heavily down the phone.

  “I’m making this right, Brax. I’m fixing my mistake.” I don’t give him a chance to reply. Ending the call, I race to mount my bike, starting the ignition. I pull back the throttle, setting off so fast that the ground churns beneath my wheels.

  The whole way there, my head is filled with thoughts of how I’m going to make this right. Pulling up outside the house, I cut the engine, hopping from my bike. Sliding off the helmet, I rest it on the handlebars, racing to the porch and knocking on the front door.

  I wait patiently for an answer, but it’s like no one is home. I lift my clenched fist, my hand trembling as I wonder whether she’s lied to me. Dropping back a few steps, my eyes roam the windows, hoping for some sign that she’s here. A few seconds later I hear the lock drop and I rush back to the door.

  Her mother answers, resting her head against the door.

  “Nate,” she sighs. “What are you doing here?”

  “I want to see her,” I blurt out.

  “Well, I’m afraid, my dear boy, she doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Why?” I start to ask, but she cuts me off, holding her hand up.

  “It’s none of my business.”

  “Yeah,” I snarl, “well, I’m making this my fucking business. Open the goddamn door.” I barge toward her, but she reacts, pulling out the shotgun and pointing it toward me.

  “DO it,” I say through gritted teeth. “WELL, come on. What are you waiting for?” I’m standing in front of her, the gun pointed and resting against my chest. “It will take more than a fucking shotgun to stop me trying to see Tara.”

  Slowly, she lowers the gun, her eyes pinned on me. “You mean that?” she asks with a tilt of her head.

  “Every word,” I reiterate. “Listen, I know what you think about me. I know that you think I’m no good for your daughter, and maybe you’re right. I’m a fucking Savage, a good for nothing outlaw. But I didn’t choose to fall in love with your daughter. My heart did.”
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  Swallowing heavily, she steps back a little offering her arm out to the side. “You’d better come in.”

  I don’t hesitate. I storm inside, racing through the hall, my head scanning the rooms until I finally find her.

  “Tara,” I call out, the anticipation of seeing her almost too much.

  She gasps, dropping her head out of sight.

  “I can’t see you,” she responds, her voice taut and instantly panic races through my body. “Get out,” she yells.

  “You need to hear me out,” I say walking through the door and into the living room. I step closer to her where she’s hunched on the couch. My whole body shakes at the sight of her.

  Sliding down beside her, I rest my hand on her arm. “I ain’t going nowhere, Tara. You gotta hear me out.”

  “Please,” she sobs, her body quivering as she does. “Not now, Nate. Not now.”

  I shake my head, confusion swimming through my brain. I have no idea what is happening here, but I’ve no intention of leaving until I know she’s okay. “Baby, I’m here,” I say, leaning into her, encompassing her in my hold. “Please, Tara.” I whisper my plea. “Talk to me.” My voice almost gives out as I try to get her to open up to me. I feel her lifting her head, so I relax my hold, waiting for her next move.

  The next thing I see makes me feel like she has taken a knife to my gut. A pain too much to bear tears my insides apart.

  “No,” I say, my eyes focusing on the mess that her face is in. Cuts and bruises cover her cheekbones and the thought that she’s hurting is almost more than I can take. “Baby, what the fuck happened to you? Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

  My heart thuds as the rage grows inside. Someone has hurt her and all I want to do is cut out the heart of the bastard who did this to her. “Who was it?” I ask. My voice rumbles as I try to control the bubble of anger that is boiling too close to the surface.

  “I don’t know,” she stutters out. “I got mugged. I fought them, but they got away with my money.”

  “Fuck,” I exhale, reaching my hand to the back of her head and dragging her until my lips meet her forehead.

  “And you have no idea who it was?”

  “No,” she replies weakly, her eyes finally lifting and meeting mine.

  Another stab to my gut. The pain in her eyes wounds me.

  “I want to take it away. Make this all better for you, baby. Tell me what you want me to do.”

  “I just need some space, Nate. Guess I’m a little shaken.”

  “I understand,” I say, kissing her again on the forehead.

  “You shouldn’t be here.” She presses her hand against my chest, pushing me away. Her focus drops to the floor, like she can’t look at me. “It’s too dangerous.”

  “You were missing. I had to know you were okay. For that I’m willing to fucking risk it all.”

  “Last night you pushed me away, Nate. You didn’t fucking care enough then, so don’t patronize me by pretending you care now.”

  “Of course I care,” I snap. “I made a bad decision, a really bad decision. Seems about the only thing I’m good at right now.”

  “You chose her over me,” she says in a hushed whisper.

  I laugh. “You are wrong. So goddamn wrong.”

  “You’re laughing at me now? Huh?”

  “No,” I yell. “Listen to me, Tara. Goddamnit, just listen.” I’m shouting because I’m losing control. I’m losing her and I have to get her to listen. To understand.

  “Emily… the girl you saw me with,” I clarify. “She arrived at the clubhouse last night, with the newest prospect. He brought her as a sweetener to my father. Call it a buy-in.”

  She turns her head, her swollen eyes on mine.

  “Well, she had no idea what she was getting herself into. She was promised this wonderful life at the MC, but quickly realized she’d been brought in as nothing more than a whore. I felt sorry for her. We got to talking, and I soon realized that I could make good of the situation. My father was pushing me to take an interest in her, so I went along.” I pause, brushing back the loose strands of hair that have fallen over my face.

  “Go on…” she says with a nod.

  “We talked, and I told her about you. About how my father was trying to control me and was having me followed. But we came up with a plan. Act like a couple, so she could be my cover. They are following me, babe. My father is making them watch my every move and I thought with Emily on my side, she could be a decoy. So I could see you, because it’s been hell without you, baby.”

  “Wait… seriously?”

  “Yes. I promise.”

  “But you said you didn’t want to see me. That it was safer for us to be apart.”

  I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. “Because I had no other options. But this, Tara, this gives us options.”

  “What, and Emily is happy about this? About playing the part? What exactly is she getting out of this?” she asks with narrowed eyes.

  “She remains off-limits. If I declare she’s my girl, then she’s off the table for the rest of the MC.”

  Taking my hand, she lifts it to her lips, kissing the back of my hand. “This can’t work,” she whispers.

  “No, don’t say that. It has to work, Tara, because being without you isn’t an option anymore.”

  “It’s dangerous. Too dangerous.”

  “I’ll keep you safe. He won’t hurt you, baby. He won’t ever hurt you.”

  I feel her body tremble as she hangs her head, shaking it loosely.

  “You gotta believe me. He’s losing control of the club, Tara. The guys are starting to hate the road he’s taking us down. The crazy, erratic way he does business. I have support, baby. I have support I never thought I’d have and I’m going to take him down. I promise. You won’t ever have to be scared again. Nothing will stand in our way.”

  “I want to believe you.” She cups the side of my face.

  “You have to believe me, because if you don’t then this is all for nothing. But I’m fighting, Tara. I’m fighting against my own father for you. All for you.”

  Drawing my face to hers, she presses her lips against mine softly. Gently, tears flow across her face and I taste the saltiness of them against my lips.

  “Baby, don’t. Don’t cry.”

  “I love you,” she whispers, the words barely audible. “But I need time. Please, just give me some time.”

  “You have all the time you need,” I say, offering her a smile.

  “I’m staying here with Mom for a few days. I need this, Nate. I need my mom back.”

  “Of course, I understand,” I reply, our eyes locked. I see the pain in them, wanting to be the one to take her pain away. “Tara, I’m going to make this work.” I make my promise and her eyes flutter shut. I feel like I’m losing her. Maybe I’ve put her through too much. Maybe this is one push too far.

  “I know how fucked up this has been. That I pushed you away when you needed me and I’m sorry. I’m not good at this. I did what I thought was right, only it wasn’t right. But I did it all to protect you.”

  “I’m just tired,” she says, glancing up at me. I look away, scared to look at her gaze. Because I’m afraid at what I’m going to see.

  “What should I tell Brax and Izzy? They’ve been out of their minds with worry.”

  “I’ll call, explain everything,” she replies meekly.

  “I came here looking for you. But you weren’t here.” I narrow my eyes on her, wondering whether her mom had been covering for her.

  “My mom said,” she acknowledges. “You left just before I arrived.”

  I nod, accepting her answer, but something in my gut tells me she isn’t exactly being one hundred percent truthful. She yawns, her hand covering her mouth as she does.

  “I should go,” I mutter, not wanting to leave but knowing that being here longer than necessary will come with consequences. She lets her eyes fall shut slowly and I lean in, kissing her gently on the
cheek.

  “I’ll keep in touch. Promise.”

  “Sure,” she replies weakly. Placing a gentle hand on either side of her face, I tilt her focus until her eyes are on me. “You believe me, right?”

  “Of course.” She penetrates me with her sad gaze. “I just need to rest.”

  “You heard her,” Tara’s mom blurts out, causing me to jerk a little at the unexpectedness. “It’s time you went.” I glance over to the fairly glamorous middle-aged woman who clutches the shotgun in her hands, like her life depends on it.

  “Mom,” Tara scolds, shooting her a glare.

  “You need to sleep, Tara,” she’s quick to reply.

  “It’s okay,” I say stepping up from the couch. “I was just leaving.” Bending down, I kiss her on the head. “You need me… anything, just call, got it?”

  “Got it,” she says with a forced smile.

  Stepping away from her, I head out of the room, stopping for a second to glance back at her one last time. I can’t help the way my stomach knots at the sheer sight of her. She’s not herself, in fact, she’s a shadow of the girl I know and love. She never lifts her head. Her eyes are down as she plays with the throw lying across her legs.

  “I’ll see you out,” her mother chirps as she follows me out of the room and down the hall.

  “I think I can find my way,” I throw over my shoulder.

  “I really don’t know what she sees in you,” she says in a hushed voice. “You and your family are nothing but trouble.” Lifting her head, her eyes crinkle as she narrows her eyes on me. “I despise your kind.” Her voice is low but full of disgust. “Biker filth,” she all but spits at me.

  Lifting my brows, down turning my lips, I nod in agreement. “I agree.”

  “You agree?” she snarls. “So you know who you are, yet you think you’re good enough for my daughter?”

  I cock my head to the side, crossing my arms over my chest. I exhale deeply, my eyes burning into the woman standing before me. “Your daughter?” I scowl. “The one you disowned over the death of your nephew? Really?” I step closer to her, remaining as calm as I can, our faces nearly touching. “You’re a fucking hypocrite. We may not uphold the law, but we look after our own. Our family.”