Lost and Found

by Tamara Larson

  Jessie watched him stare out the window overlooking the street. The view of the Starbucks was less than spectacular, but he wouldn’t tear his gaze away. “Duncan,” she said, quietly. “I understand why you did it. I’m not saying that I think it was a great thing to do, but I do understand what it’s like to be lonely, and I probably would have done something similar if I were in the same situation.”

  He laughed bitterly. “No you wouldn’t. You would have never gotten yourself into anything as complicated as all the shit I’ve been going through lately. I’ve been a complete mess since you met me.”

  “Well, okay, maybe a little bit you have, but I can’t expect you to have lived this long without developing some complications in your life. Just because I’ve managed to survive without anything even remotely interesting happening to me doesn’t mean I can expect the same from you. That would be pretty unrealistic. Besides, I haven’t exactly been living my life to the fullest, you know.”

  “But I’m boring too.”

  “Thanks, but I doubt that,” Jessie said smiling a bit.

  “No, what I mean is that my life is usually pretty peaceful. Outside work anyway. I just happened to meet you when everything was going to hell.” Jessie looked at him speculatively. “Seriously, for years, the most exciting thing to happen in my personal life was Hannibal being banned from the dog park for humping the other dogs.”

  Jessie laughed. “Come on. You must have something more dramatic than that. I keep waiting for some new and horrendous secret to reveal itself—maybe an illegitimate child or a hidden gambling addiction. Or maybe Clay was right and you have some kind of fetish.”

  “What? Clay thinks I have a fetish?” He looked at her incredulously.

  Oops! “Well, no…him and Jamie were just speculating on why we weren’t together anymore, and that’s what he came up with.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell them the truth?”

  “Because if I told them the truth—that you were married—they’d either take out a contract on your life, or lock me in my apartment to keep me from seeing you again. Neither option looked very promising.”

  Duncan digested this news. Could she possibly have cared enough about him to want to save him from the wrath of her family? Duncan felt an odd little glimmer of hope gather in his chest. Could she love him? Not wanting to appear too eager he asked slowly, “So you wanted to see me again?”

  “Well…yes. I tried to stay mad. I really did, but I just couldn’t. Something kept telling me that despite all the craziness; you were a decent man. I couldn’t quite give up on you, no matter what my head was telling me.”

  “I am, you know. Decent. At least most of the time. I can give you references if you want.”

  She laughed again. “I don’t think that will be necessary. All I really want from you is no more unpleasant surprises. That means: no more wives walking in on us, or pending criminal charges. So, if you’ve got any more skeletons in your closets, let’s just drag those bad boys out now and deal with them, okay?”

  Duncan looked a bit uncomfortable. “Okay, but you asked for it.”

  Jessie raised an eyebrow at his serious tone and felt a trickle of unease go through her. What was he going to reveal? Was there an illegitimate child after all? Or a legitimate one, for that matter? Another wife perhaps? She took a deep breath and held it. “Go ahead. I’m ready for it. Nothing you say is going to throw me.”

  “Well, in my bedroom. If you looked in the storage cabinet, you’d find about a hundred and seventy-five home video tapes.”

  Jessie gulped. Clay was right: he was addicted to porn, or a voyeur, or something equally perverted.

  “On those tapes…you’d find…my soap opera.” He said this like it was shameful.

  “You mean you videotape something off TV right?” She asked suspiciously. “Soap opera isn’t some kind of code word for something sleazy, is it?”

  “No, it’s just a regular soap opera. I used to watch it everyday after school with our housekeeper. I’ve been taping it for years, but I never quite get around to watching it. It’s a habit. I just didn’t want you to come across those tapes one day and think the worst.”

  Jessie felt a bit chagrined. She had thought the worst. “Is that it? You’re next biggest secret next to an absentee wife and a hidden half-sister is a collection of taped soap operas? Maybe you are boring.”

  “Hey, I still have a mother who’s in and out of rehab on a regular basis and a mystery father, so there’s still some potential for drama in my life. How about you? Anything you want to confess? Maybe some naughty experimentation with your college room-mate you’d like to share?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. He couldn’t help it; whenever he was around her his thoughts automatically turned to sex. It certainly didn’t help matters that her wet hair had soaked through the shoulders of her T-shirt. He could easily see the peachy glow of her skin through the shirt and it was quite evident that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He tried to look at the floor but his eyes kept darting in the most indiscreet way toward her breasts.

  Jessie gave him a chilly look. “Well, considering my college room-mate was my sister, that’s just gross.”

  “C’mon, there must be something.”

  “Nope, nothing. You know everything already.” She held up three fingers and counted them off. “Virginity…Birthmark…and one other. Can you remember what it is?”

  Duncan’s brows scrunched in concentration. “What do I get if I remember?” He asked—mostly to stall.

  Jessie pressed one finger to her chin. “Well…maybe, just maybe you’ll get another peak at my birthmark someday.”

  Duncan snapped his fingers. “I got it. It’s your reading material: The infamous Victorian erotica collection. And you thought I was the one with a fetish.”

  “It’s hardly a fetish. My interest in it is purely cultural.”

  Duncan snorted. “Right. And I suppose it doesn’t get your motor running at all.”

  She couldn’t help it; she blushed furiously. “Well, maybe a little bit.”

  “Thought so. Now, are you sure you don’t want me to take you somewhere else tonight? I’d be more than glad to get you a hotel room, with, say a nice hot tub, big enough for two. I’d even be willing to keep you company if you’re not feeling up to being alone.”

  She smiled at his innocent look, but then grew solemn. “Seriously, I’m fine here. He’s not driving me out of my apartment,” Jessie said, with a determined, tight-lipped look. She reached up and gently touched the spot on his cheek where a band-aid covered the small wound Diego had left. “Does this hurt?” She asked, her fine auburn eyebrows drawing inward in an expression of concern.

  He flinched slightly, but covered her hand to keep it there. “No, not really. I’m way more freaked about what I did to him than what he did to me.” She gave him a confused look, and he shifted his gaze down to the floor again. “I don’t know what came over me Jess,” he said, sounding stunned. “I just thought about him hurting you, or coming after Theresa, and I couldn’t stop hitting him. It was like I wasn’t even there anymore. I’ve never felt like that—not even when I first started out on the force.”

  “Duncan,” Jessie said, lifting his chin with the palm of her hand and looking into his troubled eyes. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt him. You stopped, didn’t you? Okay, after cracking his ribs and giving two black eyes, but you did stop. I know you, and you wouldn’t really hurt anyone. Not ever.”

  “I wish I could believe that, but it scares me. I think I may have actually enjoyed hitting him. What does that say about me?” He leaned forward and put his face in his hands. “Lately, I’ve been wondering if I’m turning into the type of person I’m supposed to be protecting people from. This just confirms it.” Completely dejected now, he stared down at his white socks. His blood-splattered boots had disappeared along with Jessie’s counterpane.

  “Duncan,” Jessie said, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “You a
re the gentlest man I’ve ever met.” She softly pressed her lips to his band-aid, and then his lips. He sat perfectly still, allowing her to kiss him, and then returned her kiss as gentle as butterfly wings.

  Unsatisfied, Jessie ran her hands down his chest and flickered her tongue against his lips, trying to provoke a more passionate response from him.

  “Jess,” he said, pulling away and looking at her earnestly. “I seriously don’t think this is a good idea right now. I’ve missed you so much, I’m not sure if I can be gentle.”

  “I don’t want you to be gentle,” she said, running her thumb over his lips. “I want to forget about everything that’s happened today and all the bad stuff between us. Just for a little while, okay?”

  Instead of answering right away, he just looked at her and ran his hands over her hair. “You’re so beautiful, Jess. There’s nothing more I’d rather do than just lose myself in you, but I think we need to talk first. There are still a lot of unresolved things between us.” He touched his forehead to hers for a second and then whispered, “I said some really shitty things to you this afternoon, and you should be kicking my ass right about now, not trying to seduce me.”

  Jessie gathered her courage, and looked him squarely in the eyes. She was done being a coward. “I love you,” she said softly.

  Duncan pulled back and stared at her for a moment. “You love me? How can you love me after everything that’s happened? Are you nuts?”

  “I don’t know. I just do,” she said with a shrug. “You know this wasn’t really the response I’d been anticipating. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to say you love me too.”

  A huge grin broke out on his face. “But I do. It sounds completely crazy, but I think I have since the first second I saw you in that bookstore. I went in there trying to find my sister, but I’m so glad I found you instead. I knew right then that I wanted to be with you. Forever.” He grabbed her hands and pressed kisses on her knuckles. “I love you, Jessie. I really do. I don’t know how I ever got so lucky.”

  “I’m glad I found you too,” Jessie said, joy shining in her eyes, she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. After a few moments, she paused and pulled back to look into his eyes. With a teasing grin she asked, “Now, can you beg me for forgiveness later? I’d much rather make love if you don’t mind.”

  Duncan pretended to think about it while exploring her long satiny legs with his hands. “Hey, you didn’t just tell me you love me to get me into bed, did you?” He asked with an answering wicked grin, pulling on the hem of her white T-shirt until her smooth white stomach was exposed. He leaned down to kiss her navel and she laughed at the ticklish sensation of his late afternoon beard against her tender skin.

  “Well, that was part of it,” she said with a laugh, running her fingers through his silky dark hair.

  “That’s what I thought,” he said, kneeling on the floor to ease her white shorts down her legs. “I wish I could say that I feel cheap and used, but I don’t. You can shamelessly seduce me by telling you love me, anytime.” Duncan looked down at her body, admiring it, worshipping her with his eyes.

  “I really love you,” she said sincerely, smiling down at him. He was so handsome. The band-aid on his cheek gave him a dangerous look that she was ashamed to admit excited her. He looked like a ridiculously beautiful prizefighter. There was something untamed about him tonight, and she wanted to see what it was like to make love to him when he was so close to the edge.

  She knew he was probably right; they should talk some more first, but so much had happened today, she wanted to curl up in his arms and just feel for a while. Thinking was beyond her; so was anymore deep, meaningful conversation. Besides, she knew without a doubt that he would be there in the morning, so there was no rush. For tonight she could enjoy him and celebrate the fact that they were deeply, foolishly, and completely in love.

  Chapter 31

  “Say it again,” Duncan said hoarsely, as he trailed kisses down her belly. She said she loved him again, and he groaned. “Why does it make me so excited when you say that?” Reaching over her, he grabbed several colorful cushions that were scattered on the couch and eased her forward so he could place them behind her back until she was reclining on them like a harem girl. He pulled her forward until her hips were on the edge of the seat and rolled her panties down enough so he could press his mouth against one hipbone. She said it again and he buried his mouth between her thighs, breathing hotly against her through her white, cotton panties.

  Not bothering with modesty, Jessie raised her hips and spread her legs to give him better access. She felt all the tension of the day humming through her body. She needed some kind of release or she would explode. “Duncan,” she gasped as he ruthlessly shoved her panties to the side so he could taste her. “Don’t stop. I couldn’t stand it if you stopped.”

  Burying his tongue deeply within her, Duncan smoothed his hands up her belly to deftly undo the front clasp of her matching white cotton bra. He began tugging on her distended nipples in time with the strokes of his tongue. Jessie was making those small urgent whimpering sounds that completely drove him crazy, and he silently urged her on as he moved higher to flick his tongue against the sensitive nub buried in her folds of hot, slippery flesh.

  He scraped his teeth against her and heard her gasp his name as her legs tightened around his head to bring him closer to her body. He sucked her flesh into his mouth and suddenly she was convulsing all around him.

  Duncan couldn’t wait any longer. He reared back on his knees and undid his jeans, shoving his blue boxers down his narrow hips urgently. Without pausing to allow her body to calm, he ripped the panties from her body and plunged his hard erection between her sprawled thighs, gasping at how her body seemed to tighten in welcome around him.

  Jessie had forgotten how big he was. He filled her so full it was almost uncomfortable. She shifted against him and sighed as her body stretched to accommodate his girth. Looking down between their bodies, she could see where they were joined. She watched, fascinated as he began to slide out of her. The sight of him fully dressed except for his large erection thrusting between her thighs was easily the most erotic thing she’d ever seen and she groaned at the combination of erotic friction and visual stimulation.

  “Is this good for you?” Duncan asked, his voice tight with strain as he slid deeply inside her again.

  “Incredible, but I want to feel more of you,” Jessie said, raising her legs around his back and shifting forward to give him better access.

  Duncan reached behind him and lifted her legs until her knees were around his shoulders, with her calves resting on his flannel-covered back. He gasped at how this position allowed him to go deeper. Slowly, he eased back out and then thrust back within her to the hilt. He plunged into her, gradually increasing his cadence until he heard Jessie whispering his name urgently as she dug her hands into the seat cushion and tightened her thighs around his head.

  It was like he was touching her womb on the upstroke. She could feel him throughout her whole body. She mindlessly moved her hips in time with his thrusts, her body poised on the brink until he reached between them and touched her where their bodies were joined, and sent her spiraling over the edge with a hoarse scream.

  Duncan’s harsh groan quickly followed and then he slumped forward against her, pausing long enough to lower her legs to a more comfortable position around his hips. Jessie wrapped her arms around his trembling shoulders and held him against her until their breathing slowed and became even again.

  “You’re still completely dressed,” she whispered against his ear a few minutes later when she was capable of speech.

  He groaned and kissed her throat. “Actually, I was just thinking that I forgot one very important article of clothing. Our nemesis: the condom.” He expected her to tense up in horror, but she didn’t.

  Jessie laughed and smoothed her hand down his back. “It’s okay. At least, I think it is. Jamie made me an appointment wi
th Dr, Powell right after I met you. He’s been our doctor since we were babies. He was oddly happy because he was finally prescribing the pill to me. It was weird. I think he wanted to congratulate me or something.”

  “Well, I certainly feel like celebrating,” he said, pulling back enough to look into her smiling face.

  Jessie touched his injured cheek with one hand. “So do I. But I’m also kind of starving to death. Vanquishing evil and having hot, dirty sex really works up an appetite.”

  Duncan sighed and eased away from her. “Well, I thought it was sweet, tender, love making, but okay,” he said, pretending to be put out as he tucked himself back in his jeans. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” He asked, watching her reach for her shorts with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

  She looked at him, puzzled. “Getting dressed. Isn’t that usually what people do after sex?”

  Still kneeling between her legs, he tugged the shorts out of her hand. “Only if they’re planning on going somewhere that requires clothing.”

  Jessie grabbed a cushion from behind her and placed it strategically in front of her body. She felt somewhat embarrassed sitting here without a stitch on while he was fully dressed. “I am not walking around this apartment buck naked while you’re completely dressed,” she said adamantly, making a grab for the shorts.

  He held the shorts out of her reach and started unbuttoning his blue plaid shirt with the other hand. “Why don’t we compromise? Isn’t that what couples are supposed to do?” He seemed to relish saying the word ‘couples’ and Jessie couldn’t help smiling at how wonderful it felt to be included in that category for a change. Duncan continued, “I’ll take my shirt off and you can wear it. Does that sound fair?” He started shrugging his way out of his shirt, revealing a very white T-shirt, and his beautifully bronzed forearms.