Takes You

by Nicola C. Priest

  Covering her hands with mine, I pull back from her kiss. When she looks at me, I search her eyes, seeing a mixture of desire and confusion swimming in their depths. “What’s wrong, Cal? Don’t you want me?”

  “Of course I want you, Cris. I always want you, but…why now?”

  “Why not now?” she says, her hands flexing on my waist. “It’s been weeks, Cal. I’ve used every excuse I can think of to not be with you because I was terrified it would make whatever was wrong with me worse. Now that I know that won’t happen, there’s nothing holding us back. I want you, Cal, and I don’t want this cancer to come between us anymore.”

  As if to punctuate her words, she releases my waist and strips out of her pyjamas, revealing her naked body to me. I’ve always been amazed at how easily she can keep the weight off. Her body is still as lean and trim as it was back when she was sixteen, but now she has more curves in all the places I love. I want nothing more than to grab hold of her and make love to her for the rest of the day, but something is stopping me, and it’s not something I can ignore any longer.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, Cris.”

  Cris tilts her head to the side and smiles as she takes a step closer to me. Taking my hand, she lifts it up to her breast, and I automatically squeeze the soft mound of flesh before I pinch the rosy pink nipple. I watch as her eyes flutter closed, and a soft moan passes her lips.

  It has been so long since I felt her soft skin against mine; the way her body grips me when she’s in the throes of an orgasm. It’s a feeling I’ll never tire of, and one I’ve not experienced in what feels like eternity.

  I lift my other hand to take her breast in mine, before I lean down and latch on to the puckered nipple with my mouth. Her reaction is instant as her hands grip my waist, whimpers and moans escaping her lips. I can feel her fingers working to unfasten my jeans, and suddenly the urgency to be inside her takes over as I release her and shove my jeans and boxers down and away from my body.

  Taking her hand, I pull her down to the floor with me and move her so that she straddles my hips. Her eyes are bright, and her lips are slightly parted as her breath leaves her in short pants. Reaching down, I take myself in my hand and position myself so I can slide up into her, but she takes control as she drops down hard, crying out as I fill her.

  It takes me a moment to catch my breath before I realise she’s moving over me, her hands pressing into my chest as she rocks back and forth. I soon realise she’s not after slow and steady as she picks up pace, her eyes closing as she throws her head back.

  The only thing I can do is grab on to her hips and thrust up as she drops down. The delicious friction our bodies are creating causing the familiar heat to spread through my body. I know she’s close to the edge as her thighs squeeze my hips and her rhythm falters.

  I know this will all be over for me after a few more thrusts, and I find that I want us to fall over the cliff together. Reaching down, I begin to circle her clit with my thumb, her reaction instantaneous as her whole body bucks and she begins to tremble.

  “Come with me, baby. Come for me.” My words do the trick as she comes apart above me, my name on her lips as I empty myself into her before she collapses on my chest. I’m almost gasping for breath as I gently stroke my fingers along her spine.

  “God, I’ve missed that so much.” I chuckle at her words as my heart rate returns to normal. She shifts and rests her hands on my chest and looks up at me. “We’ll get through this. Won’t we?”

  I can hear the vulnerability in her voice, and I wrap my arms around her back, moving us so we’re lying on our sides facing each other, our bodies still intimately connected.

  “You bet we will. We do this together, Cris. We’re a team, and we’re not going to let a silly little thing like cancer beat us down. You hear me?”

  “Yeah, I hear you.” She smiles up at me, and I feel myself begin to harden again, something I can tell she feels too as she flexes her hips towards mine, her one leg lifting over my hip as I slide deeper.

  “Oh, you want to go again, Miss Walker?”

  “Making up for lost time, Mr Roberts.”

  With her hands gripping my biceps and mine on her hip, I proceed to show her just how much fun making up for lost time can be.

  Chapter 40

  Crissie

  Today’s the day.

  In a few hours’ time, it will all be over, and then I’ll begin the recovery process. But first, I actually need to have the surgery to remove the cancerous cells from my cervix. The nurse has told me they’ll be here to take me down to the operating room shortly, so all I can do until then is wait.

  Cal and I spent the weekend in the flat, only going out when absolutely necessary. The times that we weren’t making love, we spent discussing the recommendations presented by the oncologist and the other options available to me. In the end, we decided to take the specialists’ advice, which we confirmed when his assistant called us on Monday.

  Now, it’s Friday, and I am sat in a scratchy hospital gown, in one of the most uncomfortable beds I’ve ever slept in. Cal is somewhere in the hospital with my parents, trying to keep them distracted.

  I told my parents about my diagnosis over dinner Saturday night. Mum cried, as I knew she would, and my dad just looked at me before proclaiming I was his little girl and he didn’t raise a wimp, so I was going to get out there and beat the shit out of this thing. That had earned him a slap on the arm from my mum, but a huge smile and a hug from me.

  Even with his bravado, I knew my dad was scared. We all are. We just have different ways of hiding it. Cal and I were pretty similar, in that we just got on with things. Up until today, I was still working. Amanda knew about what was going on; there was no way I could have the treatment and not tell her.

  She had practically screamed at me to go home when I arrived for work on Monday, and it wasn’t until I explained to her that I needed to be there to keep myself sane that she started to understand.

  Cal had gone back to the garage. He, too, hadn’t been too happy when I’d told him I would be going to work until I physically couldn’t. He seemed to believe I needed to rest as much as I could, as if resting was going to get rid of this thing that was growing inside me. I put my foot down and told him I’d be resting all the time during treatment, so he needed to back off, which he did, albeit reluctantly.

  “Crissie, we’re here to take you up to theatre now. Are you ready?” I look up when I see the nurse who tended to me earlier standing in the doorway with two orderlies by her side. I told Cal not to be long, and now they’re here to take me up and he’s not here.

  “Could we wait just a few minutes? I want my fiancé to be here when I go up.” I watch as the nurse checks the watch attached to her uniform before looking back at me.

  “We can wait a couple of minutes, but then we have to get going.” She gives me an understanding smile before turning and closing the door. Mere seconds later, Cal walks into the room and the apprehension I had felt only a moment ago dissipates almost immediately.

  “I take it they’re here to take you to theatre?” he asks, obviously having seen the nurse outside the room.

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, you’ll be okay. It’ll just be like you’re going to sleep for a few hours, and I’ll be right here waiting for you when you wake up.”

  I nod at him and force a smile. I’m not going to insult him by saying I’m okay, because I’m not. At only twenty-four, I’m about to have surgery for cervical cancer. Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to think, let alone say. All the doctors have told me it’s a pretty routine surgery and they’re confident everything should go smoothly. The nurses have bigged-up the doctors, saying they’re the best at what they do, and everything will be fine.

  I just wish I could believe them.

  “I’m scared, Cal.”

  I see Cal’s expression change before he envelops me in a hug. I hold on to him tightly, willing myself not to cry as he whispe
rs that everything will be okay. I have no choice but to believe him.

  “Sorry, Crissie, we really need to get going.”

  I pull apart from Cal when I hear the nurse’s voice from the doorway, just as Cal places a gentle kiss to my lips. “Remember, I’ll be right here when you wake up. I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too, Cal. Always.” I smile at him as the orderlies enter the room, remove the brake from my bed, and begin wheeling me out. I see my parents stood in the hallway, and I reach out my hands to them. I can see tears welling in my mum’s eyes, and my dad’s face looks grim.

  “Stay strong, honey. We love you.”

  The orderlies continue to wheel me away, and I turn my head, seeing the three people I love the most in the world watching me go in for the surgery that could save my life.

  Caleb

  Five hours.

  She’s been in there for five hours and we have no clue what’s going on. The doctor said the surgery was routine and she should be out within three hours, so why is it taking this long? Maybe the cancer was further along than they thought? Maybe something went wrong? Why the hell isn’t anyone telling us anything?

  I stand up and being to pace the hallway, stopping when I hear Diane say my name. “Cal, I know you’re worried, but please sit down. All that pacing is making me nervous.”

  “Sorry,” I say as I quickly sit down. “It’s just that it should be over by now. What’s taking them so long?”

  Diane reaches out and squeezes my hand, and I turn to look at her. “I’m sure everything is okay. It’s a complicated procedure and they need to be sure they get it all. I’d rather they take eight hours and get everything than four hours and risk missing something.”

  I nod at her, knowing she’s right. The doctors are probably just being thorough. The last thing I want is for them to miss something and have to open her up again. Even though the doctor explained the procedure could be done by keyhole surgery, Crissie will still have a scar, even if it is a small one.

  I stand again. The pacing has almost become second nature to me now. It’s all I’ve done since they took Crissie to theatre. Patience has never been one of my virtues, and I can’t see it changing anytime soon. I’m about to go ask someone if they can find out what’s happening, when I see Crissie’s doctor walking towards us.

  He nods in acknowledgement when he sees me, but his expression is giving nothing away. I want to go towards him, but my brain isn’t sending the message to my feet. I can sense Crissie’s parents behind me, as eager to find out about their daughter as I am.

  “Caleb, Mr and Mrs Walker, thank you for being so patient. Crissie’s operation took slightly longer than expected as the cancerous cells went further into the cervix than we originally thought. We were still able to complete the procedure and we’re confident we got everything. Crissie is going to have to have a course of radiotherapy, which we expect to last about six weeks, but after the treatment is complete, I don’t see any reason why Crissie can’t go on to have a normal life.”

  I release the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and feel a strong hand on my shoulder, knowing it belongs to Crissie’s father.

  “Thank you, doctor. Can I ask, do you think we’ll still be able to have a family?”

  “There are never any guarantees when it comes to conceiving a child, Caleb, even without having had surgery, but Crissie still has her uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries, so pregnancy is still an option for you both. She just won’t be able to have a natural birth.”

  I nod to confirm I understand, and I hear Crissie’s mum ask if we can see her. I see the doctor’s mouth move, but I don’t hear what he says. The blood is roaring in my ears, and I suddenly feel like I’m falling. Before I know it, I’m sat down and hear someone telling me to take deep breaths.

  Several minutes later, I look up to see Diane, Matthew and a nurse all looking at me, concern evident on their faces.

  “You okay, Cal? You went pale and then staggered backwards. I think you started to hyperventilate.”

  “It looks like you had a panic attack.”

  I look between Diane and the nurse, then down to my hands. I see they’re still shaking, and I clasp them together.

  “She’s going to be okay,” I say to myself, before looking up again. “She’s going to be okay.”

  Even though the doctors told us the procedure Crissie was having was relatively routine, I had convinced myself something would go wrong. When they were wheeling her down that hallway and towards theatre, part of me believed that would be the last time I would see her alive.

  I’ve no idea why I believed that, or why I was so convinced she wouldn’t make it. I know I should have put my faith in the doctors and nurses who were looking after her. They do this for a living, it’s what they trained for. She was in the best hands possible, and still I thought the worst.

  That was usually one of Crissie’s traits. No matter what happened, she always went to the worse case scenario, always preparing for the most negative outcome she could think of. I guess some of that negative energy has rubbed off on me.

  “We’re going up to see her,” Diane tells me. “I assume you want to come too?”

  I jump up from my seat and head down the hallway, hearing the chuckles behind me. I stop walking, realising I have no idea where I’m going, before turning to look at Crissie’s parents, who are smirking at me.

  “She’s this way,” Matthew says, indicating the opposite direction to where I was headed, and I hurry back over to them.

  “So, what are we waiting for?” I ask quickly as I indicate for the nurse to lead the way. Now that I know Crissie is going to be okay, all I want to do is see her, so I can see for myself. It’s only been a few hours, but I’ve missed my girl, and all I want to do is hold her hand and sit by her side, a place I intend to stay for the rest of my life.

  Caleb

  The nurse shows us to Crissie’s room and tells us to take as long as we need. She explains Cris may be a little groggy after the anaesthetic but that she should be able to talk to us. When the nurse leaves us alone, I take a breath before slowly opening the door.

  I’m unable to stop the gasp from passing my lips at the sight of her lying in that hospital bed. I see the monitors keeping a check on her heart rate and blood pressure, and the IV drip is by the side to keep her hydrated. She looks so small and fragile, and I feel an overwhelming urge to protect her from everything and everyone.

  Her parents move past me and stand either side of her bed, each taking one of her hands in theirs. For several moments, she remains still, until finally her eyes flutter open and her head turns to her dad. From my position by the door, I can see the smile on her face when she sees her dad, and his beaming grin in return.

  When she turns her head to look at her mum, our eyes connect. I know I should go to her. I know she needs me right now, but my feet won’t move. I feel my heartbeat in my chest as my pulse quickens. Then it hits me.

  I could have lost her today. If anything had gone wrong, I’d be alone.

  My breathing catches in my throat, and I reach out and grip the doorframe as my body begins to shake. Crissie lifts her head, and I can see the moment she realises what I’m thinking when her eyes tear up and she turns to her mum, speaking quietly. “Mum, I hope you don’t mind, but can I have some time with Cal?”

  “Of course, honey. We’ll wait outside.”

  Within a few moments, Cris and I are alone, and she holds out her hand out to me. When I’m sure I can move, I hurry over and grab her hand, holding it tightly between mine, only now realising that tears are slipping down my cheeks.

  “I’m okay, Cal. I’m going to be fine. Please don’t cry, baby.”

  “Oh god, Cris. I thought it had taken you. I was sure you weren’t coming back to me. I don’t think I could go on if I lost you.”

  Crissie is crying now too, and I feel bad for making her cry, especially when she should be resting.

  “No, Cal, please d
on’t say that. I’m not going anywhere.” She gently tugs my hand and I lean down, carefully taking her in my arms. Burying my nose in her hair, I breathe out and just let myself hold her, trying my hardest to fight back the tears that are still coming thick and fast.

  “Sssh, Cal, it’s okay. I promise. I’m here. I won’t let it take me.”

  We hold each other for what seems like hours, when in reality it’s been only a few minutes.

  “I don’t want to let you go in case you’re not here when I come back,” I reveal to her as I loosen my hold.

  “You don’t need to,” she says, and I feel her begin to move away from me. “There’s room on here for two.”

  I pull away and look down at her, seeing she’s freed up some space on her bed, so I can lie next to her. “You sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I’m sure, Cal. I want you to hold me tonight.”

  “But the doctors, if they see—”

  “Cal, will you just get on here already?”

  I resist the urge to salute her as my lips form the first smile I’ve made in the last few days. My tears have stopped, and all I can do is look at her, my precious girl. I lift my hand to her face and cup her cheek, pleased when she tilts her head into my palm.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whisper.

  “Oh please. I look a mess,” she replies with a self-conscious laugh.

  “No, you’ll always be beautiful to me, no matter what you wear or how you look.”

  When she pats the space beside her on the bed, I carefully position myself and raise my arm. When she moves alongside me and rests her head on my chest, her arm wrapping around my waist, I fold my arms around her and hold on tight. When I feel her breathing even out, I place a gentle kiss on her head and throw up a silent prayer that we’ve many more years left together.

  Chapter 41