Gets No Love

by Eric Pete

  Akhet ducked beneath the low-hanging ceiling fan in the kitchen and cursed under his breath as I walked into the full room. Balloons—dark blue, light blue, and white—were everywhere. Gift-wrap from opened presents was gathered in a pile next to the sliding glass door. I recognized Valerie’s mom, dad, auntie, and cousins and acknowledged each and every one of them.

  “Lance!” Bobby screamed before running and jumping into my arms. I quickly shifted the presents to one arm and picked him up with my free one.

  “How’s my boy?”

  “Good,” he said shyly in the way little kids do.

  “Good? It’s your birthday, you’re supposed to be feelin’ great!” I hollered as I spun him around. Bobby broke into a big smile and laughed uncontrollably. Bobby wasn’t my son by blood, but he might as well have been. I loved him as if he were my own.

  “What’s up, Lance?” Perfect timing on his real father’s, or should I say “sperm donor’s,” part.

  “Hey,” was all I said with a half glance before looking at Valerie and turning my attention back to Bobby’s laughter. Robert had insisted on his son having his name, but broke out and ran like a punk before he was even born. Most people don’t know it, and it’s none of their business anyway, but when I first met Valerie, she was still pregnant with Bobby. Growing up without a father, I was aware of her situation and what the future might hold for Bobby. Some might say I was trying to correct the past, but it wasn’t like that. I was drawn to her, simple and clear. People in the real world know how it is. When you have that attraction, things like that don’t come into the equation. You deal with the bumps and move on.

  “What’d you get me, Daddy Lance?” I could feel the tension in the room thicken. Valerie’s family kind of fidgeted nervously and smiled at Bobby’s comment. He had always called me that, but never in front of his biological.

  “Yeah. What did you get him, Lance?” Robert asked rudely, his manhood threatened.

  “Hey, I brought something too for the little man.” Akhet jumped in to show he had my back. “Here, Bobby, open mine.”

  “Lord, I hope it’s none of those CDs,” Valerie said as she looked on.

  “Nah, he’s too young for that. I ain’t stupid.” Akhet scowled at her, knowing exactly whose CDs she was referring to. Believe it or not, the two of them were cool before Valerie called off the wedding. He was so happy for me back then. He never realized he already knew the reason for what Valerie did. Of course, I didn’t agree with her, but I understood.

  “Thank you, AK,” Bobby said as he held the toy from Monsters, Inc., his favorite movie. Akhet saw his mom’s reaction at referring to him by his rap name.

  “Excuse me?” Akhet said in a fit of false anger.

  “Thank you, Akhet.”

  “Come again?”

  “Thank you, Mr. Akhet.”

  “That’s better, little man. I know your momma taught you that.” A smile forced its way onto Valerie’s face.

  Bobby then tore into my two packages. The first one was an arts and crafts set for kids. There were a few ooohs and aaahs, but the second box was already being ripped open. Valerie leaned over to help him open it. He pulled out Just the Two of Us by Will Smith first and became excited. There were three others in the box.

  “Books,” Robert chuckled matter-of-factly as his son pulled them out.

  “It’s no Langston Hughes, but he’s still young. He’ll get there. The gift of knowledge is one of the best things to pass on.” I beamed like a proud father.

  “Oh? Where’d you go to high school, Lance?” It was time for Robert to try to put me in my place. He had attended St. Augustine. The high school hierarchy was a New Orleans thing.

  “Carver,” I said with my chest poked out. I wasn’t going to tell him I didn’t graduate. Akhet, having gone to Carver as well, didn’t like Robert’s tone, but wasn’t going to get ignorant . . . in the house at least.

  “Fuckin’ clown,” Akhet mumbled so only I could hear him.

  Robert was quick to point out the battery powered motorcycle and leather coat he had bought. I let him feel like a king before I led Bobby outside to the battery powered 4x4 Jeep I had stuffed into my car. Bobby left the motorcycle untouched in the house and jumped into the Jeep with his little cousins. What? Thought I was going to let him show me up? Shiiiiiit.

  Everybody played nice for the remainder of the birthday party. As the sun went down, the kids began getting sleepy, giving the adults their first chance to catch their breath and to enjoy the barbecue and homemade potato salad. Valerie had changed into something more casual and had spent the last hour with me on the couch. Akhet was messing with one of Bobby’s toys and had started yawning.

  “I guess I’ll be leaving now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the party’s over. Look, I know you have to put Bobby to bed for school . . . and stuff.” My eyes focused on Robert who was still in the kitchen talking with Valerie’s mom and dad.

  “He’s just leaving,” she said with a dismissive glance. “Please. Stay.”

  “Akhet rode with me.” My heartbeat had sped up. God, I loved her and missed our closeness.

  “Let him take your car. I’ll bring you home after I give Bobby his bath.”

  “I . . .”

  “Please. It’s been awhile since we’ve talked like this. It just feels good.”

  “Okay.” I fumbled for my car keys and threw them across the room to a startled Akhet. He cast a confused look after he caught them, but then gave me a shitty grin when he realized their meaning.

  7

  “I miss coming here.” This was the way life should be—just the two of us alone in the dark with none of the world intruding in. She was so special to me. Her love was so special.

  “You never had to stop.” I absently stared at my ceiling.

  “Yes. I did.”

  “Because of her? Shit. That was years ago, Val. I told you that already. I told you that night when I was begging and pleading with you.”

  “Yeah, but how would you feel if Akhet bust out and told you the day before your wedding that he used to fuck me?”

  “I . . .”

  “Relax. I’m not here to argue,” she said as I felt her slender fingertips brush over my stomach. “You weren’t ready for marriage anyway. Did you know she just moved here?”

  “I saw,” I replied with a sigh. Renika, Valerie’s best friend, was to have been her maid of honor. “I guess that’s why she didn’t make it to Bobby’s birthday party, huh?”

  “Yeah. She has her boyfriend helping her. Y’know, you could help them with her stuff.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not? Y’all were cool before the past came up.”

  “Yeah. We’re still cool.”

  “That was in the past, right?”

  “Don’t play.”

  “Okay, okay,” she laughed. There was her scent that I missed on my pillows and sheets, then the warmth of her soft body as she lay across my chest. “Have you been with anyone?”

  “What?” I asked, hating her being so near my heartbeat.

  “You heard me. Since we’ve been apart. Have you been with anyone?”

  Thinking of Kyne just two nights ago in the very same bed, I weakly replied, “Have you?”

  She climbed off me and turned over, her back to me as she watched the streetlight peering through the blinds. “Never mind. We’re not together anyway.” It wasn’t like I thought Val had, but her answer bothered me.

  “Val, why don’t we try again?”

  “Lance . . .”

  “I’m not stupid. Doesn’t this just feel right?”

  I wanted to take her, to make love to her now, but Val wasn’t just someone for me to bed down. Things had a different flow, a different rhythm with her. I wouldn’t rush and run her off. I knew that if I ever got her back, then it would be forever.

  “Doesn’t it?” I asked again. No answer came. I closed my eyes to the view of the ceiling
, letting true blackness claim everything.

  Lips glanced against my cheek before she snuggled close. “Yes,” she replied, “but let’s take it slow.”

  8

  With a cold one in my hand and the mail from downstairs in the other, I sat down to digest the day’s happenings. At my shop, I had two computers to upgrade that had been promised last week. Normally, I had all the time in the world to do what I had to do, but I had to make service calls at a few businesses downtown in the CBD, which put me behind schedule. I chuckled, thinking back to how I used to lose sleep worrying if I was going to have enough business to pay my light bill.

  I pulled my tie off and rubbed my eyes before taking a deep swig of the ice-cold brew. As I halfheartedly went through the bills and credit card offers, I replayed my night with Valerie in my arms. Of course she couldn’t stay, as she had to be there for Bobby in the morning, but it was enough of a start after being apart for too long. I honestly couldn’t say if things had changed for us or if they had simply “slipped back” out of our desire to make it like it was just for one night. I hadn’t called her all day out of fear of which scenario was reality.

  I would never forget the look on Valerie’s face when she confronted me about Renika. It was during the rehearsal dinner, after leaving Saint Joseph the Worker, that I felt the first slap of my life delivered by a woman other than my mother. Val was devastated with what she felt was betrayal. Maybe if I had been the one to break it to her instead of Renika, I could have smoothed things over. Early on when I found out that Renika was her best friend, I had considered telling Valerie about our past, but Renika didn’t bring it up so I chose to leave well enough alone. Besides, as good as the sex had been, that was water under the bridge. I don’t know what made Renika decide to suddenly break down, but she did. A few weeks earlier, I had finally decided to let Valerie know about my true past-criminal record, GED and all. I guess I’d been afraid she wouldn’t accept me. Valerie, having been scarred by Robert when he left her high and dry and pregnant, was already feeling shaky and just called things off. I pleaded with her for two weeks straight to reconsider before half accepting that we, as a family, just weren’t going to exist in the near future.

  The ringing of my cell phone interrupted my self-pity. My beer bottle was empty without my knowing it.

  “Hello?”

  “Sup, bro.”

  “It’s all about you, Mr. AK.”

  “Fo’ sho, fo’ sho. Hey, whatchudoin’ tomorrow?”

  “Besides work? Nothin’,” I replied.

  “I’m rolling by Jessica’s over on Saint Claude Avenue tomorrow night. Feel up for some poetry, bro? I gotta keep up with what’s out there.”

  “Karen the Blessed Poet gonna be there?”

  “Yeah. She supposed to be. I saw her name on the flyer.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Wanna meet me there? Around eight. I’m tired of payin’ that toll on the bridge.”

  “Cheap ass. Got a number one album in the N.O. and still tight as can be,” I laughed.

  “You know where we came from, Lance. I ain’t gonna be the subject of one of those VH1 movies like Hammer ’n shit.” Straight up, Akhet did his best to manage his money. He had a limited knowledge of the business side of the music industry, but made up for it with tons of common sense and “street smarts” he’d picked up from his days of slangin’ and bangin’.

  “Yeah. I’ll meet you there. I might check with Valerie . . . see if she wants to come. She digs poetry, y’know.”

  “Y’all two back on again?”

  “I dunno, man.”

  “Y’all need to get married ’cause if I hear your ass cryin’ over her one more time, I’m slappin’ the fuck outta ya. Ya heard me?”

  “I’ll tell her that. Maybe she’ll listen to you.”

  “That would be a first. I’m out.”

  “Later.”

  I got up off my butt and decided to do something productive. I was starving, but would wait to eat until I’d worked out. I removed my shirt on my way to the Nordic Track in my bedroom. My shoes were coming off when the doorbell rang.

  Looking at the time, I guessed it could be Val. She’d had enough time to have gone home after work, help Bobby with his schoolwork, then make the drive from Marrero. I hurried to the front door. On the patio, I skipped looking through the peephole.

  “Hi, neighbor.”

  “. . . Renika.”

  “I thought that was you the other day,” she said with a burst of enthusiasm, “but I wasn’t sure until I saw you drive up a little while ago.” She must have been chilly in the white cotton tank top and torn jeans she was sporting while standing barefooted. Her long black hair looked attractive as it hung down from the blue bandanna, but she still wore too much makeup. It wasn’t that she needed it, as her ebony skin was flawless.

  “What’s up?” I asked abruptly, my arms folding up. The idea of talking to Renika in my doorway with no shirt on made me uneasy.

  “Umm . . . okay,” she stumbled, still smiling but now checking me out. “Were you busy?”

  “Just about to work out a little.”

  “Looks like you don’t need it.”

  “Thanks,” I said dryly. “You needed something?” Bad question. Very bad question considering our history.

  “Just a little favor. I just want to put those muscles of yours to use.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Can you help me move something? My new washer was delivered today, but I need it moved by the dryer and hooked up. The store just left it inside the front door. Can you believe that motherfuckin’ shit? I didn’t want to bother you, but my boyfriend will be here soon and I wanted to do some washing before I cooked his meal.”

  I hesitated, considered turning her down, but shook off my rudeness. There was no reason to hold Renika responsible for my sorrows. I put on a smile and motioned to her. “Sure. I need to change first. You have to be cold. Come on in.”

  I quickly rounded up a pair of warm-up bottoms and a T-shirt while Renika waited in the living room.

  “Nice place you got, Lance.”

  “Thanks. Would you like something to drink?” I asked through my partially closed bedroom door.

  “No. I’ve got a bottle of Alizé waiting on me downstairs.”

  “Still like that Zé, huh?” I laughed, remembering some of our old times.

  “Yep. I’m going to have me a good time tonight,” she said as the sistah-girl came out. I knew exactly what her plans were for her boyfriend. I quickly erased the memory from my head and grabbed my tennis shoes. The cordless rang on the nightstand.

  “Why didn’t you call me?” Valerie asked.

  “I didn’t know if you wanted me to.” Through the crack in the door, I could see Renika walking around. “You said to take things slow, remember?”

  “Silly.”

  “I just didn’t want to pressure you or come on too strong.”

  “You are too sweet.”

  “Got some free time tomorrow?”

  Renika thought I was talking to her until she intruded in and saw me on the phone. I silently mouthed to her that I would be a second and quickly shooed her away. Things were back to getting on track and I wasn’t about to hear noise about Renika no matter how harmless it was.

  “Lunch?”

  “Umm. No. I’ll probably work through lunch tomorrow. I was thinking along the lines of dinner . . . and maybe some poetry afterwards.”

  “Whaaa?”

  “I thought you’d like. Houston’s and then Jessica’s?”

  “I’m down.”

  “Good, good. Look, I gotta run,” I said, motioning to Renika that I would be just another second. She motioned back that she would be waiting for me downstairs. “Want me to call you back?”

  “Nah. I’m tired. Robert called earlier and was trippin’ over his son. Like he wants a more active role all of a sudden.”

  “Oh?”

  “He was dealt with. Anyway, I’
m going to bed early after all that mess. See you tomorrow.”

  “It’s a date. I love,” I said as the click of the phone cut me off, “you.”

  Renika’s apartment door came open as I knocked. A pile of empty and discarded cardboard boxes was gathered in the middle of the living room floor. Renika had two more boxes in her hands to add to it.

  “Close the door. It’s getting cold out,” she said, exaggerating a shivering sound with her mouth.

  “Want me to throw those boxes in the Dumpster?”

  “No, sweetie. Vaughn may have some use for them.” I assumed that was the name of her boyfriend. “The washer’s right there.”

  I sized up what I needed to do then shifted the small washing machine across the floor to the wash closet by the back wall. Renika did her best to move things out of my path while thanking me repeatedly. About fifteen minutes later, her washer was hooked up and running.

  “You’ve been such a big help, Lance. Can I get you something to drink? A glass of Alizé?” She raised her half-empty, lipstick-stained glass in a toast.

  “No, no. I think you better save that for Vaughn.” I blew her off with a laugh. I dusted myself off then took a quick scan of her place. Although most of the floor plans were identical there were differences between the ground-level apartments and mine.

  “Want the quick tour?”

  “Sure.”

  “Things are a little junky, so try not to laugh.”

  The apartment wasn’t that large, so it really was a quick tour. Renika first showed me the extra bedroom. This was where all her unpacked stuff was being stowed until she figured out what to do with it.

  Being nosy and not one to hold my tongue, I asked, “What made you move here?”

  “The price was right and I was tired of the roaches at my last place. Vaughn used his job to get a discount too.”

  “Oh? What does he do?”

  “He’s a sergeant with the NOPD.”

  “Uh-huh. Had your fill of bad boys, huh?” The reference to Renika’s history brought a smile to her full lips and a devilish twinkle to her eyes.