Gets No Love

by Eric Pete

  The camera shifted to a worm’s eye view of a pair of legs, clad in a leather miniskirt and heels, strutting toward AK who was centered in the distance between them. As the camera moved up the woman’s legs, I began to take particular interest. I knew that walk. Nah, I thought to myself. Couldn’t be.

  “She has a nice body,” Val said in the way that women do.

  I watched her close on AK with each confident, sassy step. It was obvious that she would take over the mind of any man watching the video this night. My boy was still spitting fire and pretending to be impervious to the weather and oblivious to the attentions of the women hanging on him. It was getting harder to focus on him as we now had a full view of the owner of the legs. She came to a halt and dropped her jacket. Water flowed down her hair and onto her back. She then threw her shades off and stared AK in the face. AK grabbed her and pulled her close just as the video was ending.

  “I’ll be damned,” I said as she turned to reveal her face and crack a smile. I leaped off the couch in a single bound and bent over in front of the TV for a closer look.

  “Lance? Lance? Isn’t that Kyne?”

  “Yeah,” I said, just as stunned as she was. “It is. It’s Kyne.”

  “Did you know she was going to be in Akhet’s video?”

  “No,” I answered in a daze. “And probably neither did he.”

  22

  After the shock of the “video revelation,” we stayed up talking ’til the wee hours of Sunday morning. I wanted to call Akhet to congratulate him, but for some reason, seeing Kyne in the video with him was eating away at me. I tried to hide it from Val as she had question after question for me. Val stayed over with Bobby and when we went to bed, my thoughts were of Kyne when they should have been strictly on Valerie who I had longed to be beside me for so long. As everyone slept and Val snuggled up next to me, I was awake. I, who always tried to deal with life full of certainty, now had doubt and confusion creeping in.

  Sunday morning, Valerie woke up early and fixed breakfast for us. After eating, I rode with Valerie and Bobby back to her house so they could change clothes for church in Marrero. Val’s parents seemed very pleased to see us working things out. I’ll admit I shared their enthusiasm. At Saint Joseph the Worker, more than a few eyebrows were raised at the sight of us at services together. We weren’t there for them though. We were there for guidance, wisdom, and sustenance while on this journey we had undertaken.

  Following church service, Valerie had some shopping to do. I was tired from my restless night, but didn’t let on. Luckily, she picked nearby Oakwood Mall, so it wouldn’t be too bad, I thought.

  We were all feeling a little bit hungry so we ate lunch at Semolina’s first. Bobby didn’t like his pasta and played with his food. I think it was because he had his mind on those glazed pecans inside the mall. Bobby was young, but already developing his bag of tricks.

  “Mommy, I want pecans,” he screamed out. Val was about to go into Old Navy to browse. She was giving him one of those looks that told me she wanted to pinch him.

  “See what I have to put up with, Lance? Are you sure you want to deal with this?”

  I laughed at her then gave her a kiss. “I’m sure, baby. I’ll go get him some pecans.”

  “Yea!”

  “Bobby,” she said sternly, silencing his cheering. She folded her arms and looked like she wanted to scold me as well. “He’s already wrapping you around his finger.”

  “No more than you already have. Go on in there. I’ll be right back with a bag for you too.”

  As I walked toward the vending cart that sold the hot cinnamon glazed nuts, my mind was already beginning to wander. Near the cart was a water fountain in the center of the mall, its waters spraying into the air. A small baby was throwing a penny into it as her mom and dad looked on and encouraged her. The water spraying into the air was enough of an association to bring me back to Akhet’s video . . . and to Kyne.

  I hated not understanding why she was now plaguing my thoughts, teasing me and haunting me as she had done so many times in person. As I moved in line for pecans, I tried to get her out of my head.

  “Thinking about something?”

  “Huh?” I said, turning around, startled at the sound of her voice.

  “I’ve been calling out to you for the longest, boy. You didn’t see me on the other side of the fountain? You looked dead at me.”

  “Hey, Alexis. I’m sorry. I didn’t notice you. What are you doing on this side of the river?”

  “Shopping,” she said, holding up the multiple bags for evidence. “Is that a problem?”

  “No. That’s not how I meant it.”

  “Buying nuts?”

  “Yeah,” I replied as I turned around to tell the lady what I wanted. “Two bags of pecans please.”

  “Aww. You’re buying one for me? I’m flattered. That’s so sweet.”

  “Look, Alexis. Umm. They’re both for someone else.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. I’m kind of here with someone,” I said as apologetically as I could.

  “That’s why you’re wearing your church clothes, isn’t it? It’s your girlfriend from the lakefront, huh? That rude bitch with the mouth on her.”

  “Where she at?” Roxie interjected at the mention of Kyne by Alexis. I had been oblivious to her standing right there in front of Sears while she waited on Alexis. “I saw that ho in AK’s video too! He promised me we would be in it! Where she at, Lex? You see her around here? I’ma put my foot up in her ass like I shoulda done last Sunday.”

  “Look, she’s not my girlfriend and I’m not here with her. Stop all this petty shit.”

  “She sure acted like she was your girlfriend that day. What kind of games are you playing? You play that innocent role, but that’s all that it is, huh?”

  “I’m not playing games. What happened at AK’s just shouldn’t have happened. Understand?”

  “Listen to this mutherfucker,” Roxie said with a smack of her lips and a dismissal of her hand. “Nothin’ but bullshit comes outta his mouth. Toldja he wasn’t worth it.”

  “Fuck you,” I said in Roxie’s direction. I was fed up with her shit.

  “No, he didn’t. Tell me he didn’t just say that.”

  “Sure did and I’ll say it again if you keep butting in,” I snarled at her. “Alexis, look . . . let’s just call it a day. It wouldn’t . . . it can’t work out. Nothing against you, but my heart’s with somebody else already. Okay?”

  Alexis cast a gaze cold and mean enough to freeze the wind my way and put one hand on her hip. She backed up one step as if trying to decide what to say next. Then it came exploding out. “No, no, no! So, I’m good enough to fuck, just not good enough to date? That’s what you’re sayin’?”

  “No. That’s what you’re saying.”

  “Sir, your pecans.” The lady had been holding them out for me to take the entire time.

  “Yeah, Lance. Your pecans.”

  “Val . . .” I didn’t know how long she had been standing there or how much she’d heard. It didn’t matter. Her hands were covering Bobby’s ears to shield him. Her eyes were red, like she wanted to cry, but was refusing to.

  “We came looking for you. Interrupting something?”

  “Now you’re with her?” Alexis asked in a demeaning manner. Roxie had started laughing at me.

  “Shut up.”

  “I thought she was just a friend? That’s what you told me at AK’s when you fucked me.”

  Roxie grunted in the affirmative.

  “Alexis. Shut up.”

  “Or are you playing over her with that crazy ho from AK’s video too? Damn, you’re low.”

  “Wha— . . . Kyne? Lance?” Val looked at me for an explanation. Her red eyes were now unleashing tears, but their stare revealed nothing but anger. I put my head down in defeat and ran my hands over my scalp.

  “C’mon, Lex,” Roxie said as she tugged on her friend’s arm. “Let’s get outta here. This mall is as tire
d as he is.” I wanted to chase away the hurt that was on her face, but I knew Val’s was much worse.

  “Val—”

  “This is the part where you say you can explain everything.”

  “I—”

  “Is even half of what I heard true, Lance? Is it?” she yelled at me, losing her composure. Bobby was trembling, knowing that his mother was upset, but not understanding anything going on except that something was not good between Val and me.

  “Yes, but things aren’t like she put them. We need to talk.”

  “No. We don’t. I thought you were different, baby,” she said with a smile as she wiped her eyes. “Come on, Bobby. Mommy’s done shopping. We’re going home.”

  “Val, wait.”

  “Don’t touch me!” I pulled my hand back quickly as her scream carried everywhere, drawing the attention of shoppers all around. Even mall security, who were involved in their own conversation, took notice. I looked around at all the accusing faces with giggles coming from them, then back to Valerie, who with Bobby in her arms was darting for the exit. I wanted to run after her, but my legs suddenly felt so heavy. The weight of my deeds and actions was being felt in my soul. I was being left, abandoned in the mall.

  I felt a finger tapping on my shoulder.

  “Sir, your pecans,” she repeated.

  23

  After being stranded in the mall, I walked the three miles back to my place in the blistering midday sun. Along the way, I had removed my tie and unbuttoned my shirt but was still drenched head to toe in sweat when I staggered into the complex. My building never looked so sweet as well as so empty all at the same time.

  I wandered past Renika who was watering her hanging plants outside.

  “What happened to you?” she called out from her porch.

  “Nothing. Everything,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I then continued walking past.

  “Boy, wait up.” She finished dumping the plastic cup on the plants, then walked across the lawn to join me. “Why are you out here in this heat in . . . in that? You want to catch heatstroke?”

  I laughed out loud. It wasn’t so much a funny question as I was light-headed. “I got stranded.”

  “Where? I would’ve picked you up.”

  “I’m not bothering you with my troubles. Besides, I don’t think Vaughn would’ve liked that.” I then walked off.

  “W-what do you mean?” she asked, stepping in front of me to cut me off.

  “C’mon, Renika. You and I both know how Vaughn feels about me. A more important question is what’s going on with y’all two.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Okay. Play dumb. How’d you pick up that bruise on your arm? Hmm?”

  “Lance . . .”

  “Still bumping into things in your ‘new surroundings’? I doubt it. Looks like fingerprints to me.” I normally would have held back, but my mood wasn’t lending itself to reservations.

  “Your making up stuff isn’t cute, boy. Look, if you’re going through something right now, that’s one thing. But there’s no need to pick on me.”

  “That’s just it, Renika,” I said as I gently grasped her arm to hold the bruise up to the light. I looked at it curiously, hoping I was wrong, but knowing I was right. “You know me, boo. We go way back. I’m not trying to pick on you. I just want to be there to help you when you’re ready to be helped. That’s all.”

  Renika looked nervously as she tried to find the right words to say. I thought I had gotten through to her. “I’m okay, Lance. Really.”

  “Okay. Suit yourself. You finished with my CD? I wasn’t thinking clearly the other day. I can burn a copy for you myself if you haven’t already.”

  Her face changed. Instinctively, I looked around for Vaughn because that’s the look she normally had when he showed up. “Umm. I’m going to have to buy you another one,” she said tentatively. “I accidentally broke it.”

  “My CD? My new CD?”

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  “Tell your boy he owes me for my CD.”

  “I told you. I broke it.”

  “Never mind. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to you later.”

  There was a message waiting for me on my answering machine. I started to play it, but declined for a little while. I didn’t feel like talking and was tired of listening. I took the clothes I was wearing, balled them up, and dumped them in the hamper. In the fridge was a fresh Michelob with my name on it, which I opened and drank while I sat naked on the bed waiting for the bathtub to fill.

  I wanted to try to explain everything to Valerie and put it in perspective, but I was more concerned about Bobby and what he had heard and now thought of me. I never wanted to let the little man down. I decided to play the message.

  “Ay! Ay, man! Pick up the fuckin’ phone! Where you been? Didja see the video, bruh? Shit was tight, huh? Ya need to holla at ya boy, man. Peace.”

  I took another swig of my beer and smiled. It had been asinine of me to have not spoken to my best friend.

  “Who dis?” he said as I caught him on his cell phone.

  “Hey.”

  “Aww, I knew it was you. Forgot about ya boy, huh?”

  “Nope. Shit’s been crazy. Saw the video.”

  “And?”

  All I wanted to talk about was Kyne. “That video is hot, bruh. I am totally impressed. That’s a lot coming from me because you’re usually pretty worthless.”

  “Haha! Fo’ sho, fo’ sho! Yo, check this out. Remember when you wanted me to get my contract looked at?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, I was talking with somebody the other day and they agree with you.”

  “Duh.”

  “Look, I’m serious, bruh. Think you can check it out for me?”

  “I guess.”

  “Good. What you doin’ right now?”

  “I’m kinda busy. Day’s been rough.”

  “How ’bout tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow’s no good.” I would recharge tonight and would devote tomorrow to Valerie one more time. The object of my quest had been moved beyond my sight once more. “I’ll call you though. I’ll stop by sometime this week.”

  “Alright.”

  “Look, my water’s running. I’ll holler back.”

  I had finished my bottle already. I went to the fridge for another one, then jumped in the bathtub for a long, quiet soak. Some Phyllis Hyman was in order for this night.

  24

  Valerie missed work that Monday. It wasn’t a lie. After I called and they told me she wasn’t in, I drove by looking for her car. It took a lot for her to call in sick. I guess I was “a lot.”

  Her house was the next place I went. She was there and I tried seeing her, but Mr. Lewis said she wasn’t feeling well. She hung up on me eight times before all I got was a busy tone. Her cell phone voice mail intercepted those calls I tried to make. I was becoming so desperate that if Val had e-mail, I would have tried that too.

  Sleeplessness had me thinking irrationally. I got the bright idea to catch up with Val outside Bobby’s school when she picked him up. Halfway to the school, I talked myself out of doing something foolish like that and turned back.

  Kyne called me on my cell right as I came home.

  “Out running errands?” she asked.

  “No,” I answered wearily.

  “I passed by your job and saw it all closed up. I knew it was too early for you to be home.”

  “I took today off.”

  “Something’s wrong. What’s with the edginess? Are you still upset with me over the lakefront?”

  “That’s the least of my worries.”

  “What’s up? You know you can talk to me.”

  “Valerie found out.”

  “About?”

  “Me and that girl from the lakefront, me and you . . . kind of, all kinds of stuff. All of it happened at the worst time. Thought I was having a replay of the wedding. It hurt even more this time. Didn’t thin
k that was possible.”

  “You told her about that night with me? That was stupid.”

  “No. Things were thrown out in front of Val and I didn’t deny them.”

  “Want me to come over?”

  “No. I’m tired and need to be alone. Things will work out. They have to.”

  Abruptly changing the subject, Kyne asked, “Did you see the video? I . . . I wanted to know what you thought.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “You were beautiful. I’m impressed.”

  “Really?”

  “I mean it. I’m sure most men had trouble taking their eyes off you.”

  “How about you?”

  “So . . . just how did that happen? The video, that is. How’d you manage to work that?”

  “It’s a long story and you’ve got stuff going on. Short story is that I knew the director from my time up in New York.”

  “But how . . .”

  “We’ll talk later. Glad you liked what you saw of me though. Keep your head up, alright? I don’t want to have to give you a pity fuck.”

  “Oh! That is cold,” I laughed as Kyne brought me out of my funk.

  “No, but the shower you’re going to take now is. Bye.”

  Sleep claimed me quickly and suddenly. Images and memories tortured me, but it was still a rest my body and mind needed. Around nine that evening, I woke up feeling a little more stable, but with another bright idea.

  Valerie’s parents had a separate phone line. I thought hard to remember the number then picked up my phone.

  After several rings, I was about to hang up. I didn’t know if they had Caller ID, but waited one more ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Don’t hang up.”

  “Please. Don’t call me anymore.”