Awakened by Sin (Crime Lord Series Book 4)

by Mia Knight

  “They do,” he said. “How’s Lyla really doing?”

  Her euphoria dimmed. “As good as she can be after being kidnapped and possibly raped.” Guilt lay heavy on her shoulders.

  During a trip to the mall, Lyla had been kidnapped. No one had ever done something so stupid. Gavin recovered Lyla within a couple of hours, but the damage was done. She visited Lyla today for the first time since she had been recovered from an abandoned warehouse. Lyla was clearly shaken, and there was a raw fragility to her cousin that made her lightheaded with rage.

  Vinny clasped her hand and squeezed. “It’s not your fault.”

  “It is.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “I shouldn’t have let her go off on her own.”

  “We didn’t know anyone was that stupid. Gavin will take care of it and send a message to whoever’s fucking with us.”

  She turned toward him and pressed his hand against her breasts. “She’s staying,” she stage-whispered and then threw her arms wide. “She’s staying!”

  He shot her an amused glance. “I heard.”

  “Fucking Gavin.” She sighed and rolled down the window and sat sideways with her feet in Vinny’s lap. “I knew he could do it.”

  Vinny stroked her leg. “Was there any doubt?”

  “Well, he fucked it up when he roughed her up and scared the bejesus out of her. He’s such an idiot.”

  It had been a long week. First, Vinny told her Lyla was back; then she saw Lyla’s bruised and terrified state. It was no wonder Uncle Manny lost his shit and gave Lyla sanctuary. Gavin changed after Lyla left, but roughing up Lyla shocked all of them. Boy fucking lost his mind. Despite his immense stupidity, she saw the way Gavin watched her when they went out. He was a hard son of a bitch, but she’d known him long enough to see past the tough exterior. He loved Lyla, always had. Why he cheated on her, she would never know, but this was the most animated she had seen him in years.

  “She left him,” Vinny said.

  “He cheated on her!”

  Vinny pat her leg. “That’s done. She’s staying.”

  She held up her hands and took a breath. “Right. Let’s focus on the positives. My girl is fucking back! I missed her so much.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s fucked up that it took this to get them back together.” She bit her lip. “Is it bad that I’m happy about it if it brought them together?”

  Vinny shrugged. “Don’t think about it. Just focus on the now.”

  She knelt on her seat, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed the side of his face. “That’s why I love you. You’re so practical and cute.” She nibbled on his ear and undid the top buttons of his shirt. “You’re getting lucky tonight.”

  “I love my life.”

  She chuckled as she ran her hand through his thick chest hair. “And I love mine. I found a man who worships me.”

  “That you do,” he said as her hand dropped to his lap. “And I have a woman obsessed with me. What’s not to love?”

  She stroked him through his slacks. “You think it’ll ever fade?”

  “No.”

  There wasn’t a shred of uncertainty in his voice.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because it keeps getting worse,” he said as he arched into her hand.

  “Worse?” she repeated with a frown.

  He unzipped his slacks and forced her hand around his dick. She obliged, and he let out a hum of delight.

  “On our anniversary, I think about how I felt when we first started dating and comparing it to now …” He sighed as she stroked him. “No fucking comparison.”

  She smiled as she leaned down to take him in her mouth. His hand sifted through her hair.

  “You don’t play games anymore.”

  She raised her head. “What?”

  “Carmen.” His dick poked her face as he raised his hips. She pushed his hand away, which tried to keep her in place and straightened.

  “What do you mean, games?”

  He groaned. “You can’t stop now.”

  “Yes, I can. What are you talking about?”

  “Come on, Carmen. You were always up to something. Flirting with other guys, throwing a fit over something. You put me through the wringer to see if I would fight for you.”

  She smacked his chest. “You didn’t want to commit!”

  He grinned. “Can you blame me?”

  “Yes!” She sat back in her seat with her arms crossed. “You played games too.”

  “I did,” he said agreeably and fisted his dick. “But this isn’t a joke. Come on, babe.”

  She tipped her nose in the air. “You dated that slut, Felicia.”

  “Oh, hell. Don’t bring her up now—”

  “You dated her for two weeks!”

  “You were with Kody Singer.”

  “So? She actually tried to talk to me. What a bitch … What are you doing?”

  Vinny pulled off the highway in the middle of nowhere and turned off the car.

  “What the hell are you—?”

  Vinny dragged her over the console, cupped her face, and kissed her. She tried to shove him away, but he held tight and kept it up until she relaxed. He pulled her thong to the side and worked himself in her.

  “We both played games,” he breathed. “We both dated other people, but we always came back to each other. You know why?”

  She glared at him even as she swiveled her hips to take him deep. “Why?”

  “Because we love each other. There was never going to be anyone else for either of us. It’s like Gavin and Lyla. We wouldn’t be who we are without the other.” He stared into her eyes as she moved on him. “You fought to get away from me and then you fought to get me back.”

  She hadn’t wanted to be tied down when she was younger, but she’d never been able to let Vinny walk off with some other woman. She’d been wild and rebellious and sabotaged his relationships if he looked like he was getting serious with anyone. Vinny was the only one who roused her emotions enough to make her feel like a psycho. “You’re mine.”

  He smiled. “Yes. Always. Now, show me.”

  She took her time. She didn’t care that cars passed while she tortured him. The car was more likely to get someone’s attention, but they had a gun if someone thought they were stranded and would be easy game. She used her years of experience to drive him crazy. She laughed when he reclined the seat, rolled her beneath him, and fucked her. A warm breeze brushed over their sweaty bodies as they came down from the high.

  “I love you,” Vinny whispered.

  “I know,” she said as she ran her hand through his sweaty hair.

  He raised his head. “Gavin’s stepping down.”

  “I know. I can’t believe it.”

  Gavin had been born to rule, and he did so with a ruthlessness that kept everyone in check. Gavin deciding to give up his position was like giving up a chunk of his identity. It proved beyond a doubt that he loved Lyla more than anything else.

  Vinny positioned them on their sides, so they faced one another. “He needs a replacement.”

  “I know. Does he have someone in mind?”

  He tensed. “I offered to do it.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “You don’t think I can?”

  “Uh, yeah, I’m sure you could but …”

  “But what?”

  Her husband presented a polished and suave exterior, but he battled crippling anxiety. He had always been a worrier and was constantly making lists because he was terrified of making a mistake. Vinny concealed his disorder well, but it was still there. It stemmed from his need to fit in with the Pyres after his parents died.

  “What did Gavin say when you offered?”

  “He said no.” Vinny sat up, and she scooted onto the console as he straightened his clothes. “He doesn’t think I’m tough enough.”

  “Why do you want to do it?”

  “Everyone looks up to Gavin. Everyone knows his nam
e. I want that respect. I want to make Uncle Manny and Gavin proud.” He gestured with his hands as he spoke, which betrayed his anxiety. “There’s something about men like your dad, Gavin, and Blade … There’s a camaraderie between them that I don’t have. I’ve always been second to Gavin, as it should be, but this may be my only chance to see if I’ve got what it takes, you know?”

  His face was creased with uncertainty. He gripped her thigh and squeezed gently.

  “You think I can do it, right, babe?”

  “Of course, I do. You know how to shoot a gun.” She held up one finger. “You’re a Pyre.” Another finger. “You know all of Gavin’s contacts, and your father-in-law is a legendary enforcer. No one would dare fuck with you.”

  “That’s true.” His face clouded. “Gavin doesn’t think I have what it takes.”

  How many times had she heard that line over the years? It was always, “Gavin said” or “Gavin thinks that …” Vinny idolized his cousin and cared more about Gavin’s opinion than hers. Gavin could do no wrong in his eyes. They had argued way too much about him over the years, especially after Lyla disappeared. Vinny always defended and deferred to Gavin, and it drove her up the wall. It was like having a third person in their relationship.

  “Screw Gavin. Lots of times he told you that you weren’t ready, and you always proved him wrong. This is no different.”

  “But he said—”

  “Tomorrow, you talk to him again, and this time, you don’t take no for an answer. You’ve gone to underworld meetings with Gavin. He can pass his anointing to you. This is your opportunity to prove him wrong once and for all.”

  “You really think I can do this?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  He cupped her nape and drew her down for a sweet kiss. “You make me believe I can do anything.”

  “That’s what a good wife does.” She nuzzled close. “If it doesn’t work out, Gavin can always find someone else, right?”

  “Right.”

  “He just needs to stop being such a control freak.” She slid into the passenger seat and clapped her hands together. “Now we have two things to celebrate!”

  “We do?”

  “Yes, Lyla staying and your new promotion!”

  He smiled as he started up the car. “What do you think about me being crime lord?”

  “I think it’s fucking hot. You were born for this.”

  “What do you think your dad will say?” Vinny asked as he started the car and pulled onto the highway.

  “He’ll probably give you a lot of pointers and be really proud of you.”

  “That’s what I think.”

  “He was always happy I didn’t end up with Gavin, but I think it’s just because it’s Gavin. I don’t think it had anything to do with him being crime lord. Besides, Dad worked for Uncle Manny and … Well, you know the rest. I think this is going to work out perfect. Gavin can focus more on Lyla, and we’ll be good.”

  “We will,” he said and squeezed her hand. “That’s why I love you. You take everything in stride. You’re the perfect crime lord’s wife.”

  She straightened. “I need a new wardrobe.”

  He laughed.

  “You be careful, Vincent.”

  “I will. I’m a Pyre, baby. We’re indestructible.”

  “You better be.”

  Vinny spent the rest of the journey going over his speech for Gavin. When they reached home, she told him to start a bubble bath while she fetched champagne. He agreed and headed upstairs. She filched her phone from her purse and tapped speed dial three for Gavin. She was climbing on her counter to reach the flutes from their wedding when Gavin answered.

  “Carmen.”

  “Vinny’s gonna pitch his reasons on why he’s the best candidate to be the new crime lord, and you’re going to accept his offer,” she said crisply as she jumped down.

  “You want him to do this?” Gavin asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “He wants to do it, so I support him.”

  “It’s dangerous.”

  “I know that,” she snapped as she retrieved a chilled bottle of pink champagne from the fridge. She always had chilled bubbly. One never knew when there would be cause to celebrate. She tended to find at least one thing every week. “My dad was an enforcer. I know the danger, and so does Vinny. If he says he can do it, then he can.”

  “No.”

  “You know what’s your problem?” she asked as she pulled off the wrapper and got to work on the cork. “You’re a control freak. You need to learn how to delegate. Lyla needs you, and she wants you to give this up. Vinny’s the best man for the job. You trust him, he knows all your connections, and who the hell is going to mess with him? He’s a fucking Pyre! Come on.”

  Silence on the other end.

  “If he doesn’t work out, fine, but let him try. You know what it cost him even to get up the courage to approach you, and you just shut him down.”

  “I was busy,” Gavin growled. “And he isn’t ready.”

  “When is he gonna be ready? Geez. How many years has he been shadowing you? How long has he been imitating you? Copying the way you talk and walk? You and Uncle Manny have been telling him he’s not ready all his life! You’re the reason he has problems with his nerves. If he does this, it may give him the confidence he’s always lacked—”

  “Fine.”

  She nodded, immensely satisfied. “All right, then.”

  “How did she do today?”

  She took the change of subject in stride. “A little shaken, but she’s strong. She’s gonna pull through.”

  “Yes, she is. You’ll stay with her tomorrow?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” She popped the cork on the champagne and heard a sharp, “What was that?” in her ear.

  “Just a bottle of champagne.”

  “You’re celebrating?”

  “Yup. Lyla staying and Vinny’s new position.” She watched champagne fizz in the glass and said quietly, “Gavin?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re going to keep him safe, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes. He’s my brother.”

  She closed her eyes and let out a breath. “Of course. Okay. Thank you.”

  He cut the connection. She hummed to herself as she grabbed the glasses of champagne and headed upstairs.

  14

  Carmen woke to the sound of a ringing phone. She opened swollen, itchy eyes and surveyed her bedroom from the floor. Sunlight filtered through the blinds and warmed her body, which she had curled in the fetal position.

  The ringing stopped. Her body ached as if she had the flu. Her eyes moved up to the urn, a constant reminder of what she had lost. She curled her toes, and even that small gesture sent a streak of pain to her temples. She swam in a sea of regret and self-loathing. If she hadn’t fought for Vinny to become crime lord, he never would have been killed. Maybe Steven Vega wouldn’t have pegged Vinny as an easy mark and Gavin wouldn’t have gone on a bloody revenge spree, he and Lyla wouldn’t have put off their wedding, and maybe Steven wouldn’t have gone for Uncle Manny …

  She curled into a tighter ball to combat the agony searing her insides. She buried the truth because she couldn’t handle the fact that she had orchestrated her husband’s demise. Vinny wouldn’t have become crime lord without her interference. Gavin wouldn’t have allowed it if she hadn’t made that call. Why had she done it? That was what a good wife does. She moaned and covered her head with her arms as if that would protect her from the memories ripping her soul to shreds. She encouraged him to be crime lord to help him be more confident and prove Gavin wrong. It was she who was wrong. She ruined her life and everyone else’s, and for what?

  Guilt and more pain than she could bear flooded through her. She took refuge in a zombie-like state for years, but she couldn’t avoid the truth any longer. Gavin signed his cousin’s death warrant. Maddog’s
words lashed at her. No, it was his wife who signed his death warrant. All her fault. She writhed on the ground as the pain turned her inside out. She couldn’t stay still, couldn’t put a stopper on it. She instinctively clawed her chest to get beneath her skin to the source of her agony. If she could have, she would have carved out her own heart. Memories of Vinny taunted her. She could feel his hands on her skin, remember the smell of their lovemaking, the touch of his hands cupping her face. She could see his face so clearly.

  What did I do to deserve a wife like you?

  She screamed to block out the echo of his voice. She got to her knees and gripped her head as she rocked uncontrollably. She couldn’t take much more. She had to make it stop.

  The sound of the phone ringing pierced through her hysteria. She spotted her purse and crawled across the carpet and turned it upside down. Phone, tampons, condoms, keys, gun. She touched cold metal and was about to wrap her hands around it when she heard, “Carmen?”

  She jerked her hand away from the gun as her mother’s voice broke the spell as effectively as a crowd of people stampeding into the room. She scrubbed a hand over her face and tried to get herself together, but she didn’t have enough time. Footsteps sounded in the hallway, and seconds later, her mother appeared. She bowed her head in an attempt to conceal her puffy, distraught face.

  “Carmen?” Her mother was out of breath. “We’ve been calling—”

  She dropped to her knees and grasped Carmen’s hand as she tried to sweep everything back into her purse.

  “Carmen?”

  “I’m sorry. I just woke up,” she said hoarsely.

  “Carmen.”

  Mom cupped her chin and raised it. She attempted a smile even as tears slid down her face.

  “I’m fine,” she whispered.

  Mom’s eyes filled with tears.

  “I’m fine,” she said again.

  “You’re not,” Mom said gently.

  “I am,” she said even as her face crumpled.

  She desperately tried to hold it all in.

  “It’s going to be okay, Carmen.”

  Mom drew her close. She buried her face in her shoulder and fisted a handful of her starched shirt. No, it would never be okay. As if Mom could hear her thoughts, she hugged her even tighter.