Truly Madly Deeply

by Faraaz Kazi

  Desmond sir, our Science teacher was the quiz master. He was a helpful man with dark skin and big spectacles that magnified his button-like eyes.

  “So, dear teachers and students, we are now starting the inter-house quiz for this year and may I now have the introduction of the members ...” Desmond sir’s jolly voice boomed in the auditorium.

  Each one of us introduced ourselves. Jess, Nazia, Jay and I formed our team and Asif, Azra, Vinay and Seema occupied the green cubicle next to ours. Asif led themand I was the captain of our team. I don’t even remember who was in Yellow and Red.

  “We’ll now start with the first round. Each house will be asked three questions in serial order. The question will be passed to the next team if your team fails to answer it within ten seconds. Five points for each correct answer. There are no negative points,” Desmond sir explained.

  “First question for the Blue House... In which year did the Reserve Bank of India get nationalised?”

  There was no need for the buzzer. Nazia made a face as if calling back something from her memory.

  “1952,” I said, even before she could straighten her eyebrows.

  “Correct.”

  Applause broke through the silence of the hall.

  “Next one for the yellow...”

  “Incorrect.”

  “Red...”

  “Correct.”

  “Green...Who was the only batsman to have an average of over ninety-nine in test cricket?”

  “Sir Donald Bradman,” Asif answered correctly.

  “Blue again... Mathematical and statistical analysis of economic issues is known as?”

  “Econometrics,” Jay said, just as I was recollecting. He grinned at me showing his teeth.

  After Red and Yellow, it was Green’s turn again.

  “What is the primary constituent of Gobar gas?”

  “Propane,” Seema said.

  It was our turn again.

  “Which country celebrated Mozart’s 250th birthday?”

  I had read that somewhere and it just fired out as the clock was nearing ten seconds.

  “Switzerland,” my voice boomed.

  “Correct and with that your three questions are over.”

  There was a huge applause. We had scored on all the three.

  “Red... Which of the following rivers crosses the equator twice?”

  I could tell by the look of their faces that none of them were aware of the answer. It passed to Yellow, whose members were also

  stuck. I was praying that it would reach us, when Seema answered, “The Congo.”

  “Correct,” I heard myself say and everyone turned to look at me.

  “Oops,” I said.

  “We move to the Yellow house ...this Indian author declined the Sahitya Akademi award for his work. Name him.”

  Yellow’s people looked at each other like strangers. The question passed to the Green and strangely, Seema too was not aware of it. Luckily, it came to us.

  “Rohinton Mistry for his work, ‘Algebra of Infinite Justice.’”

  Just when the applause was about to ring out again, I said, “He opposed the policies of the Government which the institute represents, hence he declined the award.”

  The claps echoed throughout the hall and Jess patted me on the back. We were tied on the first place with Green in the first round and there were two more to go.

  “We’ll now start with the second round. Each team will have to select a ‘field’ from the given options based on their expertise and they will be asked three questions from the same field. The questions don’t get passed and there are no negative marks. Five points for each correct answer.”

  I gathered myself. My battle instincts stirred, my senses lifting to the next level of acuity, I was doing what I was best at.

  “First question for the Blue house after they have selected

  their field....”

  “We’ll go with Literature,” I said, without consulting my team. Jay looked at me as if he would murder me and Nazia widened her eyes in shock. I was the captain of my house. My show of authority scared them. All the eyes on the stage were on me except hers. She knew I was capable of handling just about anything and any sane person avoided the literature section every year without fail.

  “Fine then, Literature it is and here’s your primer. This distinguished author wrote The Jungle Book and also won the Nobel Prize in Literature for his contributions. Name the author and the year in which he won the prize.”

  “Is it Rudyard Kipling?” I almost asked back.

  “Year?” Desmond sir needed more.

  “1907,” I said. I did not need to hear the result for that.

  After Yellow and Red had messed up their answers, Desmond sir came to Green and I sat upright in my seat. They went with ‘Geography’.

  “What is the capital of Orissa?”

  I saw Seema whispering something in Asif’s ears and he in turn, thinking about it.

  “It’s Puri,” Jay said in a low murmur.

  I sniggered, making everyone look at me again. Seema shook her head disdainfully.

  ‘Oh no, she thought I sniggered at their attempt,’ I told myself.

  “Bhubaneswar,” Seema answered.

  They were going well and it was back to us.

  “This esteemed author was banned after a particular work of his sparked rage in a minority community ...”

  “Salman Rushdie,” I beamed.

  “Mr. Kapoor, please listen to the question first,” Desmond sir softly rebuked me. Any other person would have flogged me for interruption. Jay grinned.

  “...he won a prestigious award for one of his works in the year 1981. Name the work and the award.”

  Desmond sir looked at me and nodded, giving me the go ahead to answer now.

  “He won the ‘Man Booker’ for Midnight’s children,” I said in an abashed tone and Desmond sir nodded

  “...and he was banned for Satanic Verses published in 1988,” I threw in as a bonus to the ignoramuses around me. Desmond sir smiled. He soon came to Green again.

  “Where is the largest coral formation in the world?”

  “The Great Barrier Reef in Australia,” Seema said after a moment of hesitation. I knew then, she hadn’t been exactly baking cakes

  at home.

  “Last one for the Blue house. The person in the question was one of the shrewdest leaders of the Greek. He was also the son of Laertes and the protagonist of a great epic written by a 9th century poet. Name the person and the poet.”

  I paused in trepidation. There were some doubts in my mind. Jay was trying to open his mouth but I snatched the mike away

  from his hand. There were no negative marks, so I decided to take the plunge.

  “Odyssey and Homer,” I said, going with my gut.

  “Well, you’re nearly correct. It was Odysseus, who was the protagonist and Odyssey is the work depicting his journey written by Homer but still I’ll give it to you as it was a tough one.” Desmond sir had shown his generosity as always.

  “Back to the Green,” he said, after two minutes. “Which are the Indian states with the least population density?”

  “Arunachal Pradesh,” Asif said confidently in the mike.

  “I said ‘states’...”

  “...and Mizoram,” Seema finished.

  I was very sure, she could even say the figures but she was not like me in that case. She would not show-off her knowledge. She never liked to be the centre of attention.

  After the second round, we were still tied with the Green for the first place with thirty-five points in our kitty.

  “This is going to be the final round of the inter-house quiz. So audience cross your fingers and participants place them on the red button in front of your cubicle. We are all set for the exciting buzzer round. There will be ten questions in all

  and the house which rings the buzzer first, will have the first go at each question. Failure to answer will pass the question to the fir
st team who rings the buzzer again and not to forget, there

  will be a penalty of five marks for each wrong answer. Ten

  marks for each correct answer!” Desmond sir explained the rules for the round.

  Jay was almost trembling and Nazia had shut her eyes. The Green House folks were also in some sort of jeopardy. The only two calm people on stage were the two of us, Seema and I. Our eyes met again and I nodded. She had done well and I needed to acknowledge that. Competition was as much as respecting your opponent’s work as introspecting your own.

  Jay wanted to place his hand on the buzzer but I pushed his hand off. Nazia told me to allow them to speak as well.

  “Look at his hands! They are trembling like an old man,” I pointed at Jay as he wiped his damp palms on his thighs. “My reflexes are good. The rest of you can quickly nudge me if you know the answer and I’ll have a go.”

  “Here’s the first one. How many stock exchanges are there

  in India?”

  Jay pushed my hand on the buzzer with all his force. It rang out, shrill and high.

  “Yes, the Blue house?”

  “Two, the NSE and the BSE,” Jay said grinning at me.

  “Incorrect.” Jay’s grin vanished into pure embarrassment as I stared with fury at him.

  “Do you even know...?” I was saying when someone from Red answered twenty-four.

  I sighed and relaxed in my seat.

  “Next question. When was the Life Insurance Corporation of India established?”

  “1956,” Seema said as Green took a go.

  “Next one. What is the full form of UNESCO?”

  “Yes, Blue?”

  “The United Nations Educational and Cultural Organisation,” I said, recalling each word from last year’s Civics textbook.

  The next two questions regarding the hormones of the Thyroid gland and the sacred text of Judaism were answered by the Red and Yellow house respectively.

  “Who discovered ultrasound?”

  My hand almost knocked out the buzzer.

  “J.P. Merrill,” I laughed, slow and easy.

  “The President of India can be removed by the procedure enshrined in which article of the Constitution of India?”

  “Article 52,” I heard Seema say as soon as she had poked

  the buzzer.

  “Name the world’s largest freshwater lake.”

  “Yes, Green again!”

  “Lake superior,” Seema said.

  “Incorrect.” I could sense the disappointment on her face and eyeing her, I forgot to press the buzzer.

  “Caspian Sea,” someone from Red roared.

  “Here’s another. The GATT was replaced by which international trade body…”

  “Green, is it?”

  “World Trade Organisation,” Asif said drawing in a deep breath.

  “Fantastic,” Desmond sir beamed. “This brings us to our last question. All hands on the buzzer, ready? Tell me, the headquarters of the European Union.”

  I had pressed the buzzer without even hearing the

  question properly.

  “Yes, blue?” Desmond sir turned towards us. I could sense disappointment on Asif’s face. Seema strangely remained casual.

  “What’s the question?” I whispered, squinting at Jess.

  “Headquarters of the EU,” she muttered.

  “You don’t have all day …”

  “Brussels, Belgium,” I said, trying to push the doubts to the back of my mind by creasing my brow.

  “You said Brussels. Are you sure… Confident? Can I lock it?” Desmond sir was playing around.

  “It’s the right answer,” he shouted and whistles shot across the hall.

  The audience consisting of students from the school was hushed up soon. Celebration had to wait.

  “Now there is an interesting twist to the tale as we conclude the competition. It was one of the best I have witnessed and I’d like to congratulate each of the participants for putting up such a brilliant display. Please can we have a round of applause for all of them,” Desmond sir requested and nervous clapping went on for half a minute. “Thank you, students and my fellow colleagues for

  your cooperation and for being a patient audience. Now it’s time for the results.”

  He let the news sink in for a moment.

  “On the fourth place stands the Yellow house with

  thirty points…”

  Meek claps sounded throughout the hall.

  “A little ahead of them on the third place stands the Red house with thirty-five points…”

  The clapping picked up.

  “And with sixty points each, we have the Green house and the Blue house tied up for the first place.”

  Whistles and short jigs in the crowd followed the announcement. Nazia sighed in delight and Jay looked like he’d just wet his pants.

  “The competition rules do not allow us to have more than one house as the winner and hence, I must request the audience to maintain absolute silence as we move towards the all deciding tie-breaker question,” Desmond sir exclaimed. I thought Jay would faint going by the way he swayed back and forth, and Jess was clutching both her hands as if in prayer. She was reciting ‘Hail Mary’.

  “So here it is, the final decider,” Desmond sir said after the crowd had calmed down. I placed my hand on the buzzer and looked around. Seema was looking down at the buzzer, her face – a mixture of tenderness and determination – giving nothing away, but her ears were cocked up, hanging on to every word that escaped the quizmaster’s lips.

  “Who was the governor general of India during the 1857 revolt?”

  I felt the blood in my body gather at a central location in my head. A whisper of unease teased my senses. I tried to relax and took a cleansing breath. I had read it in one of the yearbooks a couple of days back. I knew it. I pressed the buzzer.

  “Yes, Blue?”

  I saw Asif groan. I watched Azra slump her shoulders. I sensed Vinay slide in his seat and just for a fleeting second, mind you just a fleeting second I saw the fear of failure on her face, a sense of nervousness that touched my bones, a bitter agony that welled up inside her reached out to me.

  I had never experienced failure. Why would I let her experience it? Is this how I desired to keep her when I had promised myself that she would be a princess? It was the toughest dilemma of my life.

  “Mr. Kapoor, the answer please,” Desmond sir prompted.

  I looked up at her. She looked up at me, her mouth pressed into a tight line. I could sense she did not want to meet my eye. Guilt rolled through me like hot lava but at the same time there was a strange peaceful feeling climbing up my body, engulfing the guilt, the reason for which I still cannot attribute.

  “Rahul…” Nazia shook me.

  I looked at Desmond sir and with all the emotions of my heart

  that I could gather; I drowned myself in the sea of failure for the first time.

  “Warren Hastings,” I answered in a croaked voice.

  “Oh sorry, that’s wrong,” Desmond sir said after a second long pause. He had expected me to hit it. Everyone had, I could see the accusing glares of the people around me.

  “Yes, Green?”

  “Sir John Shore,” Asif sealed our fate, after confirming it

  with Seema.

  ***

  I stopped her on her way down, just after they had collected their prized certificates. For a second, her steps faltered on seeing me but she slowed down. She knew I wanted to talk and there was hardly anyone around the auditorium.

  “Hey there,” I waved.

  “Hi,” she muttered.

  I wanted to apologise to her but something in me was not yet willing to bend down.

  “Congrats. It was a good show,” I wished her.

  She looked up so suddenly that I stumbled back.

  “You knew, didn’t you?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t try to act foolish, Rahul. I’m sureyou knew the last answer.”
>
  “N… no, I didn’t.”

  “Please don’t lie.”

  Silence. “You know I don’t like giveaways. I had already discussed the answer with my team when you were thinking of it and

  then even though I wanted to, I couldn’t draw back. Why did you do it?”

  “Everything’s all right at home now?” I asked instead.

  “Kind of,” she nodded, after a long time, knowing that I could not bring myself to answer her.

  “What happened?”

  “I guess Jess told you as much.”

  “What did you tell your mother?”

  “Hmm… I said that I was with Jess, who had forced me to accompany her to a restaurant and one of her cousins came across us. She was away, washing her hands when my uncle saw me and her cousin…”

  “Oh, so you made me half Jess and half, her fictitious cousin.”

  She smiled, so slightly that it was difficult to make out.

  “Anything, that works! But what was with missing school?”

  “Ma did not want me to…”

  “Is something wrong with your mother’s brain?”

  “Rahul! I don’t want to hear anything about my mother.”

  “Hey relax…”

  “I’m not in a mood to talk now. I’ll catch you later.”

  “Seema…”

  “…and please don’t call up at my place, I beg you. We can only meet for ten minutes, the way we did.”

  She slung her bag on her shoulders and descended the stairs before I could say her name again. Every nerve in my body shrieked to hold her.

  ***

  A couple of days after the incident we were in the middle of a student-teacher meet in the classroom opposite the lab. There were only about three or four teachers present, apart from the members of the students’ council.

  We were just about coming to a consensus on the venue for the sports day when a heated exchange between a couple of members turned a little ugly. The staff intervened and everything became calm. Everyone needed to cool off after that and one of our teachers, who had been the judge at a poetry competition I had won last year, asked me to lighten the atmosphere with some lines.

  Seema was seated a couple of places ahead, leaning her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her hands and the meeting meant in a way that we all faced each other. A kind of sensuous light passed between us whenever our eyes embraced. I would try to throttle the dizzying current, which ran through my body everytime she smiled and that was what she was doing then, smiling. I felt a lurch of excitement within me and overcome by craze, I started.