by Liv Bennett
Carl begins knocking on the wall behind the dresser while keeping his ear close to listen. He slides his hand behind the vanity mirror on the dresser. “Will you give me a hand?”
Together, we move the dresser aside so Carl can analyze the wall better. Once the sunlight hits the wall, a small square, like a door, stands out. Carl gently slips his nails to nudge it open. Lindsay and Ace stand behind us while Carl pulls out a small box inside the hidden spot behind the square door. He looks up at me as he hands me the box.
I open it only to gape at its empty content. “Damn it!”
“Could be the work of a burglar.” Carl pushes up to his feet and straightens his jacket.
“She might still be in the old house even if she got robbed,” Lindsay comments. “The two things could be independent of each other.”
“Let’s hope so.” I set the safe on the dresser. “I’ll go check the old house. Carl, join me.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ll come too.” Lindsay follows us out.
Ace walks into the elevator with us and stands close to Lindsay, his body looking like a shield. “It might be dangerous for you to go there.”
Lindsay shakes her head. “That’s okay. I’ll be fine. Zane will be there.”
An old friend of mine, who was also a comedian, once told me a simple yet a clever line. There can be humor in anything. Even as the anger brewing inside me pushes me close to crushing someone’s skull, I chuckle in amusement. Lindsay doesn’t refrain from mentioning how much comfort and safety she finds in my presence to my arch enemy. I’m enjoying this moment way too much, more so because of the furious look on Ace’s face.
Ace lifts an eyebrow as he gives me the stink eye. Moving closer to Lindsay, he lowers his hand on the small of her back, and as soon as the elevator doors slide open, he guides her out to his car. The possessive son of a bitch.
Once he’s out of my sight, my wild imagination as to the dangers Julie might be in returns in full force. Panic stiffens my entire body. I want to punch someone in the gut. It’s actually myself that I want to hurt for finding amusement in Ace’s discomfort while still not knowing where Julie is.
What if something happened to her? I lost precious minutes back in the restaurant with the bimbo of a waitress.
Now that I’ve come so close to settling into a comfortable life with the right partner, the earth beneath my feet has to shutter. I freeze for a moment as a new speculation rises in my mind.
Can Julie’s disappearance be about me? It might very well be. I don’t lack enemies to begin with and each might have a wide array of reasons to hurt me by hurting the person I care about most. But, my romantic involvement with Julie is very recent. That, at least, narrows down the list of enemies who can possibly know of Julie’s importance in my life.
“Sir?” Daney glances at me while holding the car door open for me.
“Thanks.” I climb in the car and watch Carl take his seat next to me. After ordering Daney to drive us to Michael’s mansion, the old house, as we now call it since his death, I glance out the window to put my thoughts in order.
Who can know about Julie and me?
Her ex-boyfriend, Nick?
He seems too cowardly to plan out such a violent attack. Besides, he doesn’t strike me as a guy who’s going through a shortage of women with his fame and whatnot. He hasn’t even initiated a conversation with Julie since their break-up. He has probably moved on to the next pussy available to him.
Beverly, the other girl who tried to get herself pregnant from me?
Theresa might have noticed how close Julie was to me and blurted it out, and Beverly could have put the pieces together and figured out Julie’s importance to me. She tried to conceive a child just for the money; kidnapping Julie for ransom is a fairly innocent ploy in comparison.
The ex-director of Frat House, Brad?
Julie had a suspicion about him being the guy behind the whole orgy scandal with McKenzie Richmond. He certainly has the motive to ruin me. Plus, he must have realized Julie and I had a special relationship, although, at the time of his employment, even I didn’t realize the extent of our feelings for one another.
My throat closes up, blocking my air. My nails dig into the skin of my palms as my hands form fists in preparation for punching the life out of the lowly creature who has it out for Julie. Whoever the kidnapper is, if they so much as touch Julie, I’ll make sure the next place they sleep will be six feet under.
CH 23 - The Embarrassing Uncle
~
My stomach roils when Daney stops the engine in front of the house I grew up in. A familiar feeling of uneasiness sits in the pit of my gut. The already blossomed coral trees that beautifully frame the long driveway from the entry gates to the house do nothing to calm my nerves. If anything, I’m struck by the rush of old memories as if Julie’s sudden disappearance isn’t enough to grate on my nerves.
I hate this house, begrudge every single memory of Michael in it. Daney gets out and hurries to round the car and get the door. I wait for him patiently, not wanting to leave the car and face the demons I thought I’d already buried.
A mixture of anger and fear sweeps over me…His hands reaching for his belt, the sound of leather lashing tender skin, my sister’s heartbreaking cries, her skin breaking, blood and bruises all over her young body…The unbearable feeling of helplessness…
God, how could I have lived through that life?
I shake my head to chase away my fears. Michael is long gone. He’s not in there, not waiting at the front door with all his maniacal rage ready to explode.
Daney opens the door widely and Carl climbs out quickly. But, my feet don’t move. I’m frozen in my seat, secretly wishing Julie would come out of the front door out of the blue so I won’t have to go into the house of hell.
Ace’s car appears on the driveway. Fuck him. Now I have no excuse to spend a few more minutes in the safety of my car to make up my mind. I wait, nonetheless. I watch how he cautiously helps Lindsay out, the way her eyes fix on his and he breathes her in, staring, smiling, as if they’re communicating in a wordless love language.
Their breakup, my ass. Sparks between them are clearer than the bright sunshine in August. He loves her and she loves him. Deeply. The way it should be. She has never once glanced at me like she’s gazing at him now, as if she needs him more than the air she breathes.
Ace looks over at my car, searching for me inside. When our gazes meet, I see his lips curl up in a smirk. He knows that I’m afraid. Even from the distance between us, he recognizes the little scared child struggling to set himself free inside me.
Hell with my unfounded fears! The woman I want to share the rest of my life with might be in there, struggling for life. I lunge myself out in one swift move and stand tall before the house of torture and pain, as I used to call it. I’ll burn the entire complex down if Julie is indeed getting hurt in there.
The door isn’t locked. After a moment of hesitation, I push it open, slightly flinching as if monsters will fly out onto me.
An old family picture of the five of us greets us from across the hall. Michael, Mom, Chloe, Ace and me.
All of us pretending to look happy for the sake of appearance, except for Mom. Her happiness was real except it came with a visible hint of sadness that she couldn’t hide even if she tried. The joy of having her kids with her along with the agony of seeing them get hurt by the very man who should have protected them. She lived with that duality until her sorrow became too much to bear.
Muffled sounds from inside the living room startle me. The familiar high-pitched female voice has all the hair on my neck standing up. A long forgotten joy bursts inside my chest and my feet hurry toward the direction of the voice.
When I step into the living room and see her beautiful face on the widescreen, I nearly collapse on the floor. A video of my mother twenty-six years ago. Her smile, the undeniable feeling of love thick in the air whenever she was around, cause an urge to c
ry to storm over me. I’ve missed her so deeply, seeing her again, even on a TV screen has me coming close to kneeling down and weeping for her.
“What is going on?” Lindsay asks as she walks into the living room with Ace and Carl. But I can hardly focus on them or anything else in the surroundings. My eyes are glued to the TV screen. “Oh, my God! Is that Zane?” she asks loudly.
I faintly remember the day the video was recorded. I was five, almost six, then and hadn’t seen Mom for a while. Michael had told me she’d been sick and needed to stay in the hospital for a few days.
I run to her in the video footage, wanting to hug her and also complain about her absence. “What’s in there?” I ask instead, pointing with my finger at the large item Mom has in her arms.
Mom scoots down to my level and leans forward to show me what she’s been carrying. “Your baby brother, dear.”
Lindsay moans, “Awwww,” and slides her arm through Ace’s.
“We didn’t name him yet,” Mom says softly on the TV screen. “Your dad and I couldn’t decide on a name. Would you help us pick one?”
The little me frowns, looking lost in serious thought. I took things more seriously as a child than as a grownup, it seems.
“I like Torch a lot,” I suggest, peeking down at the wrinkly faced baby who is sleeping in my mother’s arms.
Lindsay laughs at the same time as my mother’s chuckle. “Torch?” Lindsay repeats, while Mom tilts her head to the side and considers my suggestion. “Torch, like your G.I. Joe action figure?” Mom asks of the little me on the TV screen, and Lindsay makes an “Oh!” sound.
Michael’s legs and shoes appear on the screen, and thankfully not his face when he joins the conversation. “That’s not an appropriate name for a boy,” he says, his voice sounding condemning and impatient.
The little Zane drops his gaze to the floor in shame.
“What other names do you like?” Mom asks with a gentle and encouraging tone and strokes my hair.
“I like the name Ace, too.”
“That’s a beautiful name!” Mom cheers and slowly pushes up to her feet. “What do you think, Michael?”
I don’t remember the majority of the events then, but I remember the crippling fear of disapproval consuming me that day, because Ace was the name of my second favorite action figure of the G.I. Joe collection, and Michael could get angry at me for picking another action figure name.
The video is cut as soon as Michael says, “Ace Christopher Hawkins. That sounds like a fine name.”
“What the hell?” I glance around the living room to find a clue to the relationship of the showing of an old video to Julie’s disappearance. Everything looks the same as the day I walked out of the house the last time after Michael’s death almost a year ago.
Everything except for the large print photos of Chloe, Ace and me hanging on the walls…photos of me holding the baby Ace in my arms, all three of us building a sand castle, playing in the mud, in the middle of a cupcake fight, wrestling, swimming, climbing trees…Jesus how many things all three of us did together, and strangely enough, I don’t remember any of those.
It feels like a big part of my memory of my childhood is erased. When I think back about those years, the only thing I remember is being beaten or watching my siblings being beaten. But, apparently that’s not all there was to my childhood.
The sound of high-heels on hardwood floors makes us all turn our heads toward the doorway behind us, and Julie walks in, smiling.
“Julie!” I yell and leap the distance between us. Like the little Zane in the video footage, I feel anger and relief at the same time at seeing her. “Thank God, you’re safe!” I wrap my arms around her and press her body against mine, holding onto her for dear life, perhaps a little too tightly.
“I can’t breathe!” she yelps, and I loosen my arms around her, still unable to fathom the magnitude of my need for her.
If something had happened to her…
I pull myself back abruptly and glare down at her. “You didn’t answer my phone calls, and someone broke into your apartment. I thought they kidnapped you. Jesus, Julie, you scared the life out of me.”
She grins and releases herself from my hold, walking into the living room toward Ace, Lindsay, and Carl. “Carl, thank you for your help. You can go now.”
While Carl exits as requested, Julie hugs Ace and then Lindsay. I hear her whisper “Thank you,” to them as well.
My curiosity peaked, I walk toward the trio of secrets. “Will you start explaining what’s happened?”
Julie nods and reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry I caused you stress, but it had to happen. See, I’ve dedicated the majority of my adult life to your happiness. Not only because I promised it to Irene, but also because…” Her head slumps down to her chest, her eyes peeking up at me shyly. “Because I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time and I did my best to help you to be happy in your business and personal life.”
Her declaration sweeps the stress and worry out of my body in a heartbeat. Slipping my finger beneath her chin, I lift her head to look her in the eye. “I’m well aware of all your efforts, and I’m thankful for them.”
Her hand covers mine and she kisses my palm. “But there’s only so much I can do. You can’t be completely happy unless…” She breaks our gaze and turns toward Ace. “Unless you get over the anger and hatred you feel toward your brother.”
“He’s not my brother.” I yank my hand away, angry at her suggestion. She, of all people, should know how much trouble he’s caused me since the day he entered my life.
“He is.” Julie catches my hand again and squeezes it between hers. “Whether you accepted it or not, Irene loved him as her own. Chloe didn’t see him any differently than she saw you. Even Michael added his name on his testament. If that’s not a sign of his acceptance of Ace, then I don’t know what is.”
More anger brewing inside my chest, I glare over at Ace and then look down at Julie. “So, what’s the point of all this? I thought you and I were going out on a date. But you suddenly disappeared on me without any explanation. Then I found out someone broke into your apartment. I thought you were in an accident or kidnapped and your life was in danger.”
“I’m sorry about that. I just wanted you and Ace here,” Julie confesses.
“Hold on a second. Did you plan all this…” charade? “You could have just told me to come over without telling me about Ace. I’d have come right away.” I run my hand through her hair, shaking my head. “Next time, be careful with your plans. I was considering calling my contact in the CIA to track you down.”
Her eyes widen at my words. “I’m very sorry for the stress I caused. I hadn’t thought you’d get so worried. I really didn’t mean to scare you so badly. I guess I was so focused on helping you, I didn’t think it through as to how much I would scare you.”
I nod, accepting her heartfelt apology, and watch her move away from my hold.
In slows steps, she moves to the center of the living room, her eyes darting back and forth between Ace and me. “Now that you’re both here, I’d really, really like you two to finally resolve the issues between you.”
Ace finally opens his mouth, but of course to produce bullshit. “There’s nothing to resolve between us. He’s just being a spoiled brat as always, but this time Daddy isn’t here to take care of his tantrums.”
“Ace, please!” Julie interrupts, while jumping in to stand between Ace and me. She must have seen my fists lifting. “Guys, please. No fighting. Just listen to me.”
I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Julie, baby, you know how much I care about you, but no amount of drama or planning will make me change my mind about that asshole!”
“Likewise.” Ace smirks. For once he’s with me on something.
“Listen. I know why you hate Ace.” Julie stares at me with wide eyes filled with excitement, as if her discovery has the ability to end global warming.
“I tried to figure it out for deca
des, Julie,” Ace chimes in. “But, I’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t find any sense in his senseless mind. Just rest your case, Julie. He won’t change. Once an asshole, always an asshole.”
“Please, Ace!” Julie raises her hand toward Ace, while standing close to me in case I make a move, then her eyes find mine, looking at me with a soft and impenetrable gaze. “You hate Ace, because you needed someone to hate, someone you could hurt. Michael abused you in so many ways, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You were powerless, completely helpless. You let him hurt you, watched him beat up your sister, wreck your mother’s life. But, you couldn’t strike back. He was too powerful for you.”
She moves in closer to me, her hands gliding up my chest, her eyes searching my face for a sign of confirmation of her theory. “Then, when you found out Ace was adopted, you also found the victim you’d been needing the entire time to lash out against with all the anger and frustration you’d been suppressing. He was the perfect candidate. He was an outsider intruding on your family. And as your junior, he was powerless against you. You used him as your scapegoat and did your best to turn his life into a hell for him. He became your punching bag.”
I cup her face, smiling at the utter silliness of her theory. “Ahh, Julie, baby. I love how efficient your mind is, but this is all crap.”
“Oh, yeah? How about this?” Grabbing the remote off the table, she punches the buttons to start another video from my past.
A short footage from Ace’s fifth birthday party starts, one that I remember clearly, where I’m hugging Ace and screaming at the camera that he’s the best brother one could ever wish for. The sight is so sickening, my stomach turns, and I think I taste vomit in my mouth.
Ace laughs loudly. “Why didn’t I see this video before?”
“That doesn’t prove anything,” except what a mousy child I was.
“Really, Zane? Really? How about this?” With anger thickening her voice, Julie starts another video of me rocking Ace’s crib and singing him a lullaby while a baby Ace was struggling to fall asleep.