by Liv Bennett
My breath catches in my throat at the sight of the two most adorable men on earth. Now I realize, admiring his looks isn’t good for my health. It pumps up my heart rate to dangerous levels.
“I’m feeling good. Really.” Lying has never been so easy, especially not when the topic of discussion is the woman who’ll be spending eight-hours a day every day with my husband. I must meet her to estimate the threat she poses to my marriage.
I smile and hurry to my feet to show him exactly how energetic and great I feel. “I think I should really meet her, if for no other reason, just to explain to her the duties of her new job.”
“Whatever you want, baby. I’ll get changed and then off we can go.” He gives Preston one last squeeze before loading him back into his high chair.
I nod eagerly and pop Zane’s sausages into my mouth, realizing how I should have avoided them only after I’ve swallowed them down. Damn new assistant! You’d better be ugly as a toad or your future will be as painful as a childbirth! Which reminds me I shouldn’t skip my pre-natal yoga class this evening.
CH 27 - JULIE
~
As we stroll down the hall to his office, Zane holds my hand tightly, giving me the safety and calmness I need on my way to meet his new assistant. But suddenly, he stops cold in his tracks and drops my hand. “You go ahead, baby. I told Clancy I’d stop by before the nine o’clock meeting.”
“Sure.” Glancing after him while he hops back into the elevator, I straighten my dress and rearrange my feet in my tight high-heels. I shouldn’t have let the new assistant intimidate me into fitting my swollen feet into these uncomfortable designer shoes. But, there’s no denying the glittery golden sandals look miles better than my beloved brown Birkenstocks.
Without Zane’s hand providing me support, I walk the last few yards to his office on wobbly legs and throw myself against the wall once I make it to the doorway of the anteroom of Zane’s office. Fishing out a tissue from my purse, I wipe the sweat off my forehead and push the door open.
A woman—tall, blonde, with a fantastic physique no less—stands in the middle of the anteroom while holding a purse under her arm and a phone against her ear. She giggles at whomever she’s talking to on the phone, sounding just like a teenager. Her hair, smooth and shiny like in a shampoo commercial, reaches down to her bra-line, and a navy skirt-suit is elegantly covering her body that can be no more than a hundred pounds.
And yes, my hands form into claws instinctively to rip out her throat and throw her out of my husband’s work area. When it comes to the future of a marriage, there isn't such a thing as being too cautious.
“Hello!” I say flatly to get her attention. “You must be lost. The auditions are on the first floor. Please ask the receptionist for the exact directions.”
She slips the phone down from her ear and smiles at me with a sunshine smile that would have melted my frozen heart with its warmth if I believed her sincerity for a millisecond. “Hello, Mrs. Hawkins. I’m Evelyn Brown. Mr. Hawkins’ new executive assistant. It’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Wait! These pregnancy hormones aren’t only interfering with my emotions, but also running amok with my hearing ability. I shake my head, unable to believe my ears.
Unfazed by my confused look, she walks toward me and offers me her hand in a friendly manner. “Congratulations on the baby. How far along are you? I’d guess already in the last few weeks?”
Rude is all I can say about her for pointing out my big belly, and I glare at her with a deep frown.
“Hey!” Zane’s voice startles me, and panic tightens my chest as I try to gauge my chances of jumping at him quickly enough to cover his eyes before he can see the angel fallen from the heavens. “You have already met Evelyn?” Warmth and friendliness is evident in his voice as he pronounces her name. God, how long has he known her?
“Oh, yes,” Evelyn rudely answers for me and turns to me with her infectious smile. “I’ve been pregnant twice before. I can imagine how hard these last weeks must be for you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
My eyes sweep up and down her body to find any proof, even a tiny bit, of her claim about two pregnancies. She can’t possibly have gone through two full-term pregnancies and have such a gorgeous body.
“Nice to meet you, Evelyn!” I shake her hand albeit a little too late. But, she doesn’t seem to mind my reluctance and holds my hand with a nice, firm shake. I can’t help but notice her soft and smooth skin. God, isn’t there anything wrong with this woman? “According to my husband, you have an Econ degree from UCLA and then worked as a director in a medium-sized business. I’d assume your next career goal would be more in line with management than an administrative path. Why did you choose to work as a secretary?”
Not that I don’t have fancy college degrees and years of experience in management myself, but her career change is as suspicious as her constant smile.
Zane laughs a hearty laugh. “You’ll have to excuse my wife, as she’s a bit more inquisitive than necessary when it comes to the future of our company.”
Our company? He intimated a few times the importance of my contributions in the rise of HMG but has never included me as one of the owners. I can’t help the prideful swell of my already wide chest.
“And it’s not your usual secretary position. An executive assistant is responsible for the smooth operation of all the departments, from law to accounting. Evelyn’s career background is a perfect fit to facilitate a well-functioning executive system.” Zane turns to me to place a kiss on top of my head and then strides toward his office. “You know it better than I do, darling.”
“I suppose you’re right.” I chew my bottom lip in an attempt to stop embarrassing myself with nonsensical talk.
“Mr. Hawkins,” Evelyn calls after Zane and grabs a post-it note off her desk. “David Webb called in to ask if he could reschedule the lunch meeting to today instead of Friday.”
Zane gives his head a disapproving shake when he turns to face Evelyn. “It’s Zane, and no. Today I’m taking you out for lunch.” He winks with a grin.
Blood drains out of me and I shiver as if ice-cold water is pouring on me as I remember the days a long time ago when Zane would flirt with me. What started as a platonic flirtation has turned into a full-bloom love. What if history repeats itself and Zane falls for Evelyn, too? Given her hotness and intelligence, it’s not really impossible.
“Oh, I’d love that,” Evelyn chirps with an appreciative tone.
Zane hurries into his office while I stand, still frozen, in place. Then, with a folder in his hand, he stalks out. “I gotta go now. I’ll see you at home, baby.” He leaves quickly, obviously unaware of my shock.
“Are you all right, Mrs. Hawkins?” Evelyn approaches me, staring at me with genuine worry on her face.
“Yeah.” I nod, trying to catch my breath, unable to stop myself from thinking about the torturous days ahead if Zane decides to return to his old bachelor ways.
CH 28 - JULIE
~
“Imagine Michelle Pfeiffer’s face and hair when she was younger with Adriana Lima’s body. That’s Zane’s new assistant.” I roll down the car window to let some fresh air in and stare down longingly at the chocolate bar in Lindsay’s hand, trying not to think about how Zane has avoided me for an entire week. He hasn’t even initiated sex. It’s so unlike him, something must be terribly wrong.
Pain runs from my chest to down my back as I realize the timeline of Zane’s lack of interest coincides with Evelyn’s new job as Zane’s very personal executive assistant. She must be wearing revealing clothes and using every chance she gets to show off her body to him. Shifting on my seat, I adjust the seatbelt over my body to ease the physical pain, but there’s not much I can do to deal with my emotional struggle.
Lindsay laughs and rubs my arm in a supportive gesture. “Surely you’re exaggerating.”
I take a deep breath and place my hands on my belly to calm myself at least
for the sake of my unborn baby. “I wish I were. She’s that good. She’s gorgeous.”
“Why isn’t Zane coming with us?” Lindsay asks the million dollar question I’ve been racking my mind to find an answer to for several hours.
“He left early in the morning for a private golf tournament with some of the executive managers in the company. I haven’t heard from him since.” My voice is laced with shame as my indirect confession of my inability to reach my husband rolls out of my mouth. Initially I hadn’t minded that I wasn’t invited to the tournament, but then when he mentioned Evelyn would be joining them, blood rushed to my head. “Evelyn went with him, too.”
“Oh!” Lindsay’s eyes grow large and then she quickly replaces her shocked expression with a reassuring smile. “I’m sure there is nothing for you to worry about.”
To escape her pitiful glance, I look out of the car window, wondering if Zane used the golf tournament excuse to have Evelyn just for him in a non-work setting. If he indeed has his eyes on her, there’s not much I can do to stop him.
“We’re here,” Daney announces and climbs out of the car to get my door.
I gather the hem of my long, red gown and hold Daney’s hand to step out of the car. “Thank you, Daney. Have you heard from Zane?”
“I haven’t,” Daney says quickly as he helps Lindsay out. “If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be waiting in the garage. Please call me when you need me.”
“Thank you, Daney.” Feeling pathetic about having to ask the help about my husband, I slip my phone out of my purse to call Zane one last time, and again his voice mail picks up immediately.
A line of stretch limousines has already formed on the long street reaching up to the Grove where the movie premier will take place.
A woman whose face I recognize from the few premiere events I attended in the past calls out to me. “This way, Mrs. Hawkins.” She speaks into her earpiece about my arrival.
Holding the hem of my gown, I look over at Lindsay, who’s wearing a pink mini dress, and together we hurry toward the back entrance of the famous shopping mall that will host the premiere of the new HMG movie tonight.
I’ve never had to appear without Zane by my side at the previous public events I’ve attended. I have a feeling tonight will be just the first of many such occasions where I’ll have to ask Lindsay or Chloe to come with me to avoid the public humiliation of showing up alone to a big media event. I can already hear the reporters asking me about Zane’s whereabouts.
I try to ignore my heart throbbing hard in my chest and fall in line with Lindsay as we walk through the wide gates. Luckily, there are enough big-name celebrities to grab all of the reporters’ full attention and I can sneak past the line and hurry toward the movie theater.
“Hold on!” Lindsay tugs at my arm before I can take a breath of relief for escaping the spotlight. “Look over there.” She points at the crowd of celebrities. “Isn’t that Zane?”
Terror jolts through me once my eyes locate him, my husband, standing side by side with her. My hand covers my mouth although a loud groan of shock manages to escape my lips.
“Who is she?” Lindsay asks naively then turns to me with worried eyes. “Is she…”
I nod, breathing through my pain. This is too much. He’s smiling his gorgeous smile while holding the small of another woman’s back as they walk intimately as if they’re a couple before the cameras. She looks so beautiful in her sky-blue chiffon dress with her hair down on her shoulders, she steals the spotlight from the A-List stars. She’s the wrist candy that Zane deserves to show off, one that I could never become even without my pregnancy weight gain.
“Wow,” Lindsay mutters. “She’s something.”
I nod without saying a word about my disappointment, humiliation and fear. I shouldn’t be ungrateful. At least, I’ve enjoyed the feeling of true love, if only for a few months. I tasted real happiness for the first time in my life. The months I’ve spent in Zane’s arms helped me forget about the horrors of my past and made me become an entirely new person and a mother. He might have found his next Mrs. Zane, but I’ll still have my kids.
“I’m sure it means nothing,” Lindsay tries to comfort me in vain.
I pat at my chest to facilitate my breathing and shrug nonchalantly. “I need to go to the powder room.”
“I’ll come with you.”
I shake my head and raise my hand to stop her. I can’t bear another human being pitying me while I face my demons. “Please tell Zane I’m here…if he cares at all,” I whisper the last part to myself and rush toward the lady’s room.
Tears fill my eyes before I can reach the bathroom. I force myself to not let go until I hide in one of the stalls, and once I’m in, I bury my face in a tissue and cry my eyes out as quietly as I can.
I sob until I hear the bathroom door open and close and two women enter with joyful laughter.
“I loved Miranda Tuscon’s dress best,” one of them chirps with a rather enthusiastic moan of appreciation. “I bet she didn’t eat anything the last two days to fit into it.”
The other one responds with a laugh. “Look who’s talking, Miss Gym Rat.”
“Well, so what? I take pride in my looks, sue me!”
I hear purses open and lip sticks drawn out. “Dior,” the first girl points out, likely to show off the brand of her lipstick.
“Speaking of Dior, the blonde Zane Hawkins came in with had on the blue chiffon from Dior’s latest collection. She looked better than Giselle in that dress. I wonder what happened to Zane’s wife. What was her name again? Jane…Jackie?”
I’m so plain, I didn’t even make an impression on these two women, who obviously eat and sleep tabloids, for them to remember my name. If only that was my only problem though…
“Julie…Julie the cow.” The other girl bursts into a laugh. “I saw her sneaking in. She had a no-name red dress on. Lame! I’d be covering up all that fat instead of highlighting it with a strong color like red. I mean, come on! Get a personal shopper or something!”
“Yeah, true. It’s obvious how she locked down a man like Zane Hawkins. Getting knocked up is like the first rule in the book since pre-historic times.”
While the other girl laughs, I wipe my tears away, working hard not to make any noise, trying to conceal my presence. If it was the old me, the old Julie who’d stop at nothing to get the man of her dreams, I’d know how to give these bitches a lesson, but Zane’s betrayal has left me weak and hopeless. And, besides, what’s the point in trying to change an airhead’s mind?
As the tears roll down my cheeks nonstop, I inhale and exhale slowly, trying to think of a way to escape the premiere. I’d rather spend the night here in this stinky bathroom stall than wind up photographed by the paparazzi with my face smeared in tears and makeup.
I can already see the headlines tomorrow. Wife found hiding out in the toilet after being scorned by her Hollywood mogul husband. I bet the journalists will get my name wrong, too, if they are anything like the two airheads outside.
I should get Daney to come help me out of here as soon as possible. I should pack my bags and move back to my old apartment.
A sudden chill envelops my body like a blanket. What about Preston? I’m not his real mother. Zane won’t let me have his custody. He’ll grow up without knowing how much I’ve grown to love him in the short time I’ve been his mother.
A sob escapes my mouth, loud enough for the girls outside to stop talking.
“Hello?” one of them says and the sound of her footsteps tells me she’s walking toward the stall I’m hiding in. She’s possibly peeking under the doors to locate me.
Another sob follows and suddenly my whole body shakes in misery. My heart in sheer pain, I start crying loudly. I can’t do this. I can’t live without my husband and Preston. I don’t care if he wants to enjoy other women as long as he stays with me as my husband.
“Hello?” the girl outside calls again just as a flash of pain shoots through me.
“Ahh!” Alarmed at the unbearable aching in my back and pelvis, I quickly push myself to my feet and haul myself out of the bathroom stall.
Wild eyes stare at me. “Are you all right?”
I open my mouth to reply, but suddenly another jab of pain shoots through my body as something pops inside me.
“Oh my God!” The girl jumps back, staring down at her skirt where the gush of water from between my legs has splashed on her.
This can’t be happening! My baby is about to come while I’m without my husband and stuck in a theater bathroom with two strangers who care more about their dresses than the miracle of birth that’s about to happen right before their eyes. I can’t do it without Zane. I just can’t.
The door busts open just before I lose my balance and come close to collapsing on the floor.
“I’ve got you!” Long, strong arms wrap around me, his familiar scent filling my eyes with a new round of tears. “I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.”
CH 29 - JULIE
~
Push! Again. One more time! Almost there! You gotta push harder!
For five torturous long hours, I’ve had nurses telling me constantly how I need to push harder. If I hear the word, push, one more time, I’ll not be responsible for the consequences. I’ve cursed so many times, I’ve had my fill of cursing for life, as well as pregnancy. The birth of my baby boy has made me swear off pregnancy all together. No one can convince me to go through the process of pain and torture one more time.
Well, maybe Zane can.
My conviction quickly vanishes as I watch Zane cut the umbilical cord with shaky hands and pride clear on his face. He doesn’t look like a man whose main hobby is going after women behind his wife’s back; rather he’s vulnerable like the next person on the street and worries over every single thing that might go wrong with his wife and child.